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Dr. Chip
Dr. Chip, Doctor (MD)
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 23102
Experience:  Over 20 yrs of Family Practice
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Why do I let people be so mean

Customer Question

Why do I let people be so mean
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Health
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Well--how do you react to them when they say things like that?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I tell them to be quiet that they are not perfect. And i ask them if they enjoy making me feel bad about myself
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
How about just walking away without saying anything at all?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I could but it wouldnt change anythimg
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Sorry I was off. But the reason these people do things like this is for the reaction of the other person. If they don't get that reaction, eventually they'll stop trying
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I use to not respond but it didnt help
Any
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
They must be really hard up for things to do then.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
They are. From the moment they get home feom work all they domis drink
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Then there really isn't anything you can do about that except consider the source and move on.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Just FYI: i am not a whore. I just made a bad decision. I really didnt think I would get pregnant
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
I already told you I don't think you're a whore
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I really didnt think id get pregnant
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Maybe not but obviously part of you wanted to
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
It was just a really bad decision
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Well, it's done now so no need to ruminate over that
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Its it normal to be crampy
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
It can be normal but again with your previous cramping problems there's no way to be sure where it's coming from. But let's stay off the physical part of the pregnancy for a while please
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok sorry
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
There just isn't anything else for us to talk about on that one subject
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am so glad that you are not judgemental
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
If I tried to judge other people I'd be required to judge myself
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
So what do i do if my therapist wont work with me
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Let's see first if he refuses to
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
What if im not ready
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Please--never again with the what if's. You're ready and you know you are so don't let him convince you otherwise.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Dont be angry at me
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Who ever said I was angry?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I just think you are because i alwYs ask what ifs
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Just frustrates me a little--like I told you I don't deal with what if's--in my life or anyone else's. What if's and if only's are a complete waste of brain power
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I know what ifs fuel anxietys but i have a really hard time not worrying about what ifs
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
You've practiced that for a very long time. It's time to start practicing living in the now and concentrating on the now and not on the murky future
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Theres just so much to worry about
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
No there's not. Worry is a worthless exercise. People often will find something to worry about even when there's nothing worrying will do for them. If you can't do anything more about a situation than you've already done, it's time to let it go
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Surely you didnt stop worrying just overnight
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
No but it takes practice to let it go
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Can i just ask you one question about potentially miscarrying
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Please let it be something we haven't already talked about
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Do you think i should get the repeat hcg tomorrow or wait until tuesday
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Tuesday is fine
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
But tomorrow would be 48 hours. And i could stop worrying
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
I don't think it would stop you from worrying but if you want to do it then, fine
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Do you think these names would be dumb

Tallulah Rae Or Oliver Colwyn
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Colwyn is interesting but I'm not a fan of the other two
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Really? Colwyn is a welsh name. Its martys middle name
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
We're starting to chat, I'm afraid
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Just tell me why you dont like them names please?
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
The only Tallulah I've ever heard was Tallulah Bankhead the actress and I wasn't a fan of hers and it sounds like a name from the 1940's. Oliver is just too formal for me
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Whateves. I see my therapist and psychiatrist on the 11th
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
We're still chatting
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Can you pick a topic
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
No--I've done that the last two times you've asked. It's your turn now.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Do you think the fact that i sleep all time time is because of depression
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
I thought you had a problem with not sleeping well?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I feel like i sleep all day. I dont sleep very well at night because i am too hot to sleep
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Too hot?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Like overheated. And i wake up multiple times at night covered in sweat
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Well, of course if you don't sleep well at night you can easily sleep a lot during the day. Of course, depression can cause one to oversleep or sleep a lot during the day
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Is it my fault i have depression
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
No, not your fault but it takes courage and work to get out of it once you're in it
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Im scared to get better
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Scared?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Im scared i wont be able to get better. That ill fail.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
That's getting back to what if's and thinking like that can become a self fulfilling prophecy. You need to do the mirror thing again--which I'm willing to bet you haven't done since we last talked about it--and you need to say to yourself that you will get better and you're worth getting better
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I really do want to get better.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
I know you do so do the mirror thing
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
It makes me feel awkward to do the mirror thing
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
So what--just follow my instructions and do it. It's got to be a lot easier than dealing with the people you have to deal with
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I didnt say i wasnt going to do it i was just saying how it mKes me feel
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
It's a way of rebooting the brain just like a computer--you have to say positive things to yourself until you really believe them inside
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I know
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
We're chatting again
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Can u pick a topic please
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
We're going to have to close soon. Can you begin to accept the fact that your family members all have major problems of their own and that for that reason they may not mean what they say to you and that you can't possibly right now please them?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No i cant. I think they really do mean what they say
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
What about the other half of what I said?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I know i cant possibly please them
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Good. As I said before, I don't think anyone could--they sound like they're full of anger and resentment, probably at themselves, their lives, and everybody else.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I guess we cant close the page
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Why not?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I meant can
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
OK--get some rest and talk at you later
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Will you be here later if i need you? Will you be here tomorrow. No spottingtoday
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Yes to both
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
If i have no spotting today is that a good tbing? Would you be on with me miscarryig since you dont think i was ready to get pregnant
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Yes it's a very good sign and of course I'll be with you--remember, I'm not like your family and I don't judge people.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Are youhoping i miscarry
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Of course not.
Dr. Chip, Doctor (MD)
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 23102
Experience: Over 20 yrs of Family Practice
Dr. Chip and 3 other Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Promuse? After all you did say you didnt think i was ready
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
That doesn't mean I'd want you to miscarry--I'd never wish that on anyone.

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