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Dr. Chip
Dr. Chip, Doctor (MD)
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 25760
Experience:  Over 20 yrs of Family Practice
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Why do I let people be so mean

Customer Question

Why do I let people be so mean
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Health
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Well--how do you react to them when they say things like that?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I tell them to be quiet that they are not perfect. And i ask them if they enjoy making me feel bad about myself
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
How about just walking away without saying anything at all?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I could but it wouldnt change anythimg
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Sorry I was off. But the reason these people do things like this is for the reaction of the other person. If they don't get that reaction, eventually they'll stop trying
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I use to not respond but it didnt help
Any
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
They must be really hard up for things to do then.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
They are. From the moment they get home feom work all they domis drink
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Then there really isn't anything you can do about that except consider the source and move on.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Just FYI: i am not a whore. I just made a bad decision. I really didnt think I would get pregnant
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
I already told you I don't think you're a whore
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I really didnt think id get pregnant
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Maybe not but obviously part of you wanted to
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
It was just a really bad decision
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Well, it's done now so no need to ruminate over that
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Its it normal to be crampy
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
It can be normal but again with your previous cramping problems there's no way to be sure where it's coming from. But let's stay off the physical part of the pregnancy for a while please
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Ok sorry
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
There just isn't anything else for us to talk about on that one subject
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I am so glad that you are not judgemental
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
If I tried to judge other people I'd be required to judge myself
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
So what do i do if my therapist wont work with me
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Let's see first if he refuses to
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
What if im not ready
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Please--never again with the what if's. You're ready and you know you are so don't let him convince you otherwise.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Dont be angry at me
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Who ever said I was angry?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I just think you are because i alwYs ask what ifs
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Just frustrates me a little--like I told you I don't deal with what if's--in my life or anyone else's. What if's and if only's are a complete waste of brain power
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I know what ifs fuel anxietys but i have a really hard time not worrying about what ifs
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
You've practiced that for a very long time. It's time to start practicing living in the now and concentrating on the now and not on the murky future
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Theres just so much to worry about
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
No there's not. Worry is a worthless exercise. People often will find something to worry about even when there's nothing worrying will do for them. If you can't do anything more about a situation than you've already done, it's time to let it go
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Surely you didnt stop worrying just overnight
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
No but it takes practice to let it go
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Can i just ask you one question about potentially miscarrying
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Please let it be something we haven't already talked about
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Do you think i should get the repeat hcg tomorrow or wait until tuesday
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Tuesday is fine
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
But tomorrow would be 48 hours. And i could stop worrying
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
I don't think it would stop you from worrying but if you want to do it then, fine
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Do you think these names would be dumb

Tallulah Rae Or Oliver Colwyn
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Colwyn is interesting but I'm not a fan of the other two
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Really? Colwyn is a welsh name. Its martys middle name
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
We're starting to chat, I'm afraid
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Just tell me why you dont like them names please?
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
The only Tallulah I've ever heard was Tallulah Bankhead the actress and I wasn't a fan of hers and it sounds like a name from the 1940's. Oliver is just too formal for me
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Whateves. I see my therapist and psychiatrist on the 11th
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
We're still chatting
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Can you pick a topic
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
No--I've done that the last two times you've asked. It's your turn now.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Do you think the fact that i sleep all time time is because of depression
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
I thought you had a problem with not sleeping well?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I feel like i sleep all day. I dont sleep very well at night because i am too hot to sleep
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Too hot?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Like overheated. And i wake up multiple times at night covered in sweat
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Well, of course if you don't sleep well at night you can easily sleep a lot during the day. Of course, depression can cause one to oversleep or sleep a lot during the day
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Is it my fault i have depression
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
No, not your fault but it takes courage and work to get out of it once you're in it
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Im scared to get better
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Scared?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Im scared i wont be able to get better. That ill fail.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
That's getting back to what if's and thinking like that can become a self fulfilling prophecy. You need to do the mirror thing again--which I'm willing to bet you haven't done since we last talked about it--and you need to say to yourself that you will get better and you're worth getting better
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I really do want to get better.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
I know you do so do the mirror thing
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
It makes me feel awkward to do the mirror thing
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
So what--just follow my instructions and do it. It's got to be a lot easier than dealing with the people you have to deal with
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I didnt say i wasnt going to do it i was just saying how it mKes me feel
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
It's a way of rebooting the brain just like a computer--you have to say positive things to yourself until you really believe them inside
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I know
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
We're chatting again
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Can u pick a topic please
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
We're going to have to close soon. Can you begin to accept the fact that your family members all have major problems of their own and that for that reason they may not mean what they say to you and that you can't possibly right now please them?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
No i cant. I think they really do mean what they say
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
What about the other half of what I said?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I know i cant possibly please them
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Good. As I said before, I don't think anyone could--they sound like they're full of anger and resentment, probably at themselves, their lives, and everybody else.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I guess we cant close the page
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Why not?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I meant can
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
OK--get some rest and talk at you later
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Will you be here later if i need you? Will you be here tomorrow. No spottingtoday
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Yes to both
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
If i have no spotting today is that a good tbing? Would you be on with me miscarryig since you dont think i was ready to get pregnant
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Yes it's a very good sign and of course I'll be with you--remember, I'm not like your family and I don't judge people.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Are youhoping i miscarry
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Of course not.
Dr. Chip, Doctor (MD)
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 25760
Experience: Over 20 yrs of Family Practice
Dr. Chip and 2 other Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Promuse? After all you did say you didnt think i was ready
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
That doesn't mean I'd want you to miscarry--I'd never wish that on anyone.

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