ye like i need to give to feel good:( or else i go all crazy:(
what do you need to feel okay? give? how do i give to someone who wants to give? i might nee dto find someone who loves the emotional contact, but what if we did what would we do?
yeah like if i'm with someone who doesn't care to spend time with me but only wants sex to cope with his life, isnt' that really annoying? even if he has routines that's good for him? so like me if i spend all day with someone who cried all day i'd have a good time, cause i could care and give her what she need, and cheer her up.
whoever it takes. i know a male but he's only trying to get the kids back:(
we had the same type of music to relax too tho. he's probably quite emotional, but i think he wants the house cleaned heh. but why do men just want a house clean, why not feel and have a good time together and do something together. how do men becomes who they are? and why is it so important with the house? and work?
ya. i broke up again. he did as well. totally irreversible. this is why people should not be controlled to be someone they're not:( either people sit there and get killed or they get a divorce and their life is over. hate norway:( too bad i didn't know.
it's stupidly. control your family, what bullshit is that, and why control kids? totally irreversible. why is all socities trying to get the same life as everyone else? protect the weak not the strong ones:( i've been rebellious all my life, i should of split with everyone at age of 2.
my sis needs a life or shell lose them. stupid government. she has to win this by handling it and get him to lose. well btw, i hate society so badly. i wanna revolution it. i need a way to get attention from someone to totally pull the society apart and get a revanch and find the tool to get things as we want.
can't do much about it, i am not really ready and i have to go there and be there if i gonna meet up with him. there's no way i go back. i rather kill someon than get destroyed by people around me. if you get me?
well idiocy by community, to try and do nothing about people that's mentally sick but spend millions to help someone who is not able to give to themselves, and control them to be like normal people. like they try give me sleep at night, but i'm stuck and i want a partner not an army to help me. whole society has f**ked me up, i'm so tired.
ye. btw some guy on skype message me cause needed a hug, just randomly heh. saved me from rage heh. and i got him feeling good, he was in asia when a bomb hit his friend. feel good that i could comfort him. so what do i do, darn, how can i find a perfect match.
heh i don't wanna lol. i need to find someone do it with:( i think i'm going to cousins or something, he's on chick hunt, but i guess the one isn't around the town cause he went to sweden with someone.
no idea. i'm just rambling on politics forums, i need this to be fixed, so i get a apartment that is safe and others that listen to me. tired of politics being a social thing.
ok what would you do to calm down? darn i need to give you sometihng. tired of my family as well noone gets it.
heh i dunno what i'm doing. totally a mess. so tired of this:( my chest hurts now.
heh listening to others and spoke the truth they don't listen.
i just been at my moms house, i can't take this much longer. we're totally not "together" anymore, and totally lost in egoism. she can't take who i am, and she cannot help me at all, and noone can. i just wish i found someone not in drugs to be with.
hey. it's ok, i'm pretty lost for the moment just. why would wax come out of my ears?
heh it all comes back now. btw ocycontin. what you got to say aout it.
it blcks the emotional pain/and need something to avoid pain in body. btw let me tell you exactly what is happening, first off sweating at some point constantly. ear vax, i drank some oil and it kinda stopped somewhere, so i'm caughing it out, peeing in between, i got points all over the stomach that hurts, and shows feelings when i point to them. i'm worried about blood coming soon, my throat is a bit in the wrong place, so is urinary system, my stomach is full of god knows what, or it's outside the stomach. my vagina hurts. my ears is ringing and my head is full of something. got difficulties breathing cause i cannot open mouth and breath properly it just falls down heh, and automatic breathing through nose. my breasts has a block, and is just skin and a blump. my stomach muscles is broken somewhat, cause acnnot get to the other side. i guess hormones has stored some stuff in body that shouldn't be there, and now i got it back, and things come all at once. i can eat what i want and still lose weight, it just fills the area outside stomach.
the doctor checked the pains and a blood test at hospital. everything. so gonna talk to the doc soon as he gets results, and calls me up. i think it's hormones blockade, that result in stress and needing water a lot. i dunno what caused the lumps, it might be too much of something? i think meditation has a strategy to lose weight as well, so it's just feelings i guess and a block in system. i might of done something wrong with one or two of the blockages through skin tho. i also got suddenly acne. well i'll just follow a path and choose the right thing and this will be ok cause i should be free in a year a healer said heh. from what i know it's cause a friend has cancer, and i need to rescue his pain:(
oh well. take care of yourself.
hi you here for a while? i found out what's making me obsessed:(
stressed myself to hurt myself:(
totally am lost, i'm still a baby needing nurturing to have a sexual relationship.
i'm lost. no sexual relationshiP:( nothing in my life is good enough, i'm a grownup baby. cause everyone is too sick to nurture me, or don't have what it takes. and now they repeat the same pattren with grandkids.
cause our family is lost. there's nothing i can do about it, they won't respect anyone, and noone is gonna help them, without them i'm loist too:( this is terrible. realizing this after 34 years:( i can't destress anywhere. unless someone did all the mistakes i did and i can give to someone.
cause. they brought me up in a way that is totally not what you would do if you were mentally healthy, and same with the others in family(we got one middle sister coping), wrong attitudes. and me trying to be free ruined me.
i just realized. my family is not really good parents, nor is my sis, she got fooled out in the open and wanted to travel like everyone else and lost everything. it's all depending on prelife of our family. we all have mental disorders. most society do cause everyone is gonna do things the wrong way, and not get things on fix. we're selfish unresponsible 5 year olds, and i'm a 1 year old with a head like a 90 heh. there's no reason to lose your child to all this, just cause you can't cope. i'm gonna make sure i get this gene thing going, and make sure everyone gets right treatment for themself. actually, you don't even need genes, you need to know how to talk to your kids.
a lot of norwegians do. it's not very good thing. even letting dangerous foreigners in:(
cause, cognitive impairment of children and adults, if it werent' for the oil, we'd been lost. there's very few people able to fix sick people, cause it runs in their family, and family gets bigger and bigger and in end we're all lost in society of greed:(
i don't know what to do, this is crazyness. i can't like live in an apartment on my own heh. i'm not socially developed, nor sexual nor bodywise able to take on the world.
how do i get my mom to do as i say? if i never listened to her? how do i get anyone to listen to me from this situation?
first off, my sis need treatment really quick, with kids around, and someone has to lte her have them, my mom has to back down, how? she's losing herself to others.
ok, yelling at all times. my little sis has 2 kids wit ha guy from equador and she failed to get a picture of what happened and might lose them, cause she's totally irrational about it, and cannot get the whole picture, she needs to get to apartment on her own with the kids and need help to do so. my mom is irrational and my sis is avoidant to be with the kids. then i come and start crying oer things and well i never put the blame on them i just see that tehy're as sick as me but not as social impaired. when you see your mom cry cause she's doing everything for us, and not getting any help, you kinda get the whole picture, no wonder i've been doing the same thing.
cause the guy from equador beat her without a sign of evidence. he is totally controlling and can talk anyone into doing what he want. worst thing is, my sis is mentally impaired for this, she's doing anything for the 2 kids and cannot afford to lose them, so since she's afraid and not coping he might get the kids. my mom lost it on her and the kids and i lost it on them cause i wasn't able to talk to any of them.
cause he can do what he wants to them and can run away wherever with them. if she shows up on his doorstep guess who's gonna be beaten up. and how bad isn't the kids gonna be. she is without rights in norway too 10 years into destructiveness by going to another country to study spanish, horrible:(
i really hate society:( totally ruins people and do nothing to help them.
don't know, they're totally destructive. my mom needs help, my sis needs help and i need help, i might call my sis to help talking to them, or whoever has their bonding in order, hmm who is that gonna be. the kids is going to kindergarden but my sis has to get her priorities straight. darn i'm so heavily destroyed:( i could like take her over to my apartmetn and let her structure it and talk her into sense while the kids is in kindergarden.
f**k i have to save my family cause noone else is gonna.
dialogue. to find the best suited way, and the only way she will win in court is if she's out of this situation, she cannot deal with this herself or call up to check on him. so if she's with me she's safe and i can tell her to watch the kids until they go to kindergarden, my mom won't interfer. i can find babysitters if needed but only if police is calling. i need her to stop calling everyone all the time and need safe spots. she has to be ready for court, when he gets a life enough to take care of the kids, he might take a runner, and she's not safe then. so if she's with me, she's safe and i can avoid her doing the phonecalls that just is destructive for her family, and my parents can go back to work.
should of told her that a long time ago, it's idiotic doing this the whole summer to keep him on control while he's doing anything he can to f**k with her.
guess it's time. see you later.