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ye got a bit far i didn't realize.
ya got a bit worried, heh totally got into playing again but trying to save everyone from despair is hard. btw. I am now trying to make tunes to get rid of the tensions.
yes. every tune that goes into your mind stores tension in you, but i need a way to find the tune that destress you, like i was listening to wayne dyer for 3 weeks and suddenly all my stress was gone and i was totally relaxed, until someone stressed me again heh
basically. if you got a tune in music it has different good things or bad things happening to your brain or body, so emotions gets stored and you either get them out or block them, so to destress you need a single tune that actually destress you. so hz or maybe rain or wind tunes would do something to your body that destress you.
you need a tune that specific destresses you in some way, same with reduce your anxiety, so that if you got stress in body i think it's from ears or down the neck or something.
yes. it might be things like banjo, btw i found sibelius not so bad.
maxim vengerov, but i can't have a feeling in the tune, cause making the hand hurt.
most likely cause emotions goes out there, or negative emotion from the music. or the fact that the music is to help people.
actually it's receiving energy, from music, so you need to find a way to distress the hand as well, or return the energy.
like if you receive a music piece you need a way to handle the tunes, simultaneously.
hehe yes. will show you later gonna find a way to do this heh. what you reckon is needed to get along with all people btw?
well do you think it's possible recode your personality to be handling anything.
to like be at peace regardless situation. like give without having issues with it.
my bf is a theoretical man. giving and receiving like intelliectual and demanding things like a house and think thats a good deal, he doesn't wanna help people unless gettin something in return. he can take whatever, but he doesn't like it, neither does i like who he is, cause he won't change who he is. how can i take that if i'm emotional and want to help people and canmnot cause of him being at work. so like he has no comedy skills. how can i make comedy on my own, to make us work together. also i'm a bit hypo, and enjoy talking a lil too much. well if neither of us can change what do we do. i'm not attracted to him due to whatever.
that he is who he is. can't take control over little things i need, we have hard time work together, we're like friends when i was in a abusive matter, but that's about it. i just don't have a way out of it. we're too different and 3 hours with him is like super stressful, like all others i meet that's normal.
well basically he just isn't a person i'd enjoy. cause our lives together is all theoretical and he enjoys playing i don't, he wants to give, but only superficial things and don't care much about how my wellbeing is or others, he isn't like positive enough or having laughs or talking to people in other ways than he's in control of the chat, and don't really care what people say to him other than a discussion.
he have a hard time with the house, but even worse, no empathy towards others so it's like he want to give something but it's not at all what i want, and he is like "superior" in his eyes, he understood what i say i tell him but i enjoy that people are happy and wants to be around people. he shouldn't say that sex is something we give, but a need that goes from all emotions towards
he is really a nice guy, but i don't like the way we would live if he was in charge. i cannot give him anything he wants, and he can only rovide safety.
being together like i want it. empatetic. he goes telling me to do stuff with him, and i find him repelling due to him asking forsex without giving me what i want to get in mood. he does all work like my mother would but expect being who he is and doing nothing to please me or get me the life i wXXXXX XXXXXve. its like him being a dog. if he atleast could entertain me.
i don't get how can someone enjoy a life without entertainment, like talking to people or have fun together or go out meet people or wanting sex cause of who people are. listening to music together or whatever. provide warmt and feel like you're one.
not really. expect him picking me up here and there. he wants to go for a walk an hour but i haven't been able to due to stress cause he doesn't wanna have a chat, or i feel uncomfortable with his body as well. maybe i juts want to feel good and not feel resented by his body. why would i feel like i'm going to puke over it?
safety. like intelligent chats but no emotional heh. i like how he used to be, but i never really got physically attracted. like i don't think i am able to be attracted by men, except for the physical need, and i find it repelling to have sex. i ran from my parents to play games with him. he used to give a lot of stuff earlier but stopped when i wanted to be doing something he didn't. gah. i just don't feel attracted. does not wanting be in control makes you wanna not have sex? the guy wants me to control him and i want to relax and not control people. but basically it's the dick i found repelling or body at all. i like sitting on a nap and kiss people's neck or lay on people to feel warmth tho.
he wants me to tie him up and use him. but i never wanted to have sex i just wanted the warm sensation. do you think i will ever find a sexual life? i used to do a lot of feeling stuff for sexual when 5 and up to 19, but i cannot feel anything now after i met him either, maybe once i had a good time. i had sex with 20 boys threally wanting it but once i wanted it 3 times, o but not , one guy felt me for a few hours and i loved that. the one time i loved it and he was a jerk:( most guys i felt really well with was really off track, and some was abusive afterwards.
yeah. i cannot feel anything, and find it repeling when he touches it. the times i enjoyed people it has been people in really bad times and like drug addiction, but the speed addiction guy was not something i wanna do again ehh. but well this jerk at my bf's work i had sex with years ago was going off the hook by telling everyone how i lay down with him. 3 times sex in one night i mean, how bad is he.
what do i do now then? i don't wXXXXX XXXXXve in the institution neither do i wXXXXX XXXXXve at my moms. how do i know to trust someone i like? and dare telling him if he find me repelling, even tho i was in close contact with him he was like electric. i told a friend of us tho. how to break off a relationship that we been together for 13 years. it's stupid to be with someone cause you have nowhere to be heh. if i am around someone and i feel just peace cause we watch music together, is that love?
well i'm abit addicted to his best mate. wish they could be the same.
no like i want him in the house and do singing together and have fun together. but he got house and kidsbut he helps people with workouts and the like, party person, but that's what my bf do as well so nothing there. but my bf is like a pietist when it comes to people. i think he'll hate me if i break it off. the reason i like his mate is cause he's mainly like me, and i wish i could do the same but i'm not as social.
oh you mean the other guy? i'm so unsure, i don't wanna fall into his lap while with my bf heh.
no heh. i used to do it to myself watching tv for 8 hours. and now i find men terrible ackward. mainly cause the ones i enjoyed dump me probably.
it's like they want sex and nothing more, my bf wants more but not what i want. i never was sexually adopted but through childhood. i think i lost the loves i wanted, and abused by kids in neighbourhood didn't make it better i assume. i enjoyed it tho. undressing and people touching your vagina until you're ready might be a bad hting. but i was sooo in love with people for touching me. it's like motherhood all over again now tho, i don't want to give at all, just people to give and give and give, and not giving much back, i'd rather want a male being like that.
i don't mean that you're all about sex heh. it's nothing like that.
it's just that i don't have the right feelings. the dick is just repelling due to body fluids. and i like being stimulated not touch a man's body or a womens.
it's like i am all me, but i wish someone would stop the control and not ask, so i can give without this control issue over me. i just hate that he expect something instead of being the one i want eh. my neighbour lady and i kissed i loved it. maybe should get a chick. women attracts me but men also. maybe i just want a moher. doing it on my own is stress reliefung, do you think i have just lost it
it's not about sex, but emotional wellbeing i guess. if i wanted a drugaddict in front of a decent guy, it's pretty wierd.
basically, someone who uses drugs, has failed in life and not gotten what they need, mostly when it comes to drugs. someone either control them or whatever, it's not always cause they're social. they need emotional support and whatever, most of them. and i was like hooked on every bad guy out there. i mean a guy who burn down churches and then drown himself cause of whatever, i was kissing him and then he is gone from school and then later he died. his sis got raped from a neighbour, poor spanish people.
i had like a friend who was feeling me no sex. he was really into some younger girls, but i enjoyed it so. i was not addicted to men, i just wanted some warmth. i was in love with everyone in school and whatever, but it was just talk and imagination. the worst guy who my bf told me had mouthed about me at work, i really was having a good time with tho. it was idiotic that he just throw me out the door heh. guess i attracted to those same as me. he might of gotten annoyed that i used him tho.
i'm totally a wreck really. i don't know what to do and how to survive with these people around me. my bf really want me out i think. i told him what i was feeling.
well he isn't gonna just let me go, but well, i need to sort this.
it's like. i don't have any feelings. cause we ain't suitting together, and i don't find him attractive. the only thing i love about him is how much we have together, and how trustworthy he is. i cannot live my life without a life outside with him.
safety, trust. but i was doing this to escape parents, and smoked like hell to keep safe, and he stressed the hell out of me and make me go away 3 times and nearly go with other guys. i was like emotionally stressed after 2 days away from him. then i go down here to get help and he goes against it, and ruin it for me, stress my life off cause he wasn't entertaining or listening to me, and now well i don't have anything to common. i don't know what to do, i just wanna be with someone. i don't wXXXXX XXXXXve on my own and find someone, darn i hate it. i don't wXXXXX XXXXXvewith my parents anymore, i don't know what to do. i'm so insecure when it comes to men, a bipolar with really a big heart how can i trust him and that he wants me, or a guy who is on a farm and enjoys being with girls i think he was hitting on me.
like crazy, darn. i dont think he wants me here or i don't even wanna be here.
sounds scary heh.
it's really scary to be on your own or go home to your mother, darn
ye, drug addict and alcohol "and 2 friends saving me up north in a boarding school type with "samer" . then psychiatrist my moms cousin was really worried and got me feeling bad for it. but i tried agian a year later. lost phones heh. i slept in room with a drug addict and with some girls sometimes. then a summer on my own at mom's house, going to school and work.
well i hate being here, gonna go down and be with the institution and find someone to sleep over or go to mom or whatever, since she's alone now i might as well. i can always find a place to stay tomorrow i hope. a few days at mom's isn't gonna hurt, i need to get myself together. but hell i want to get a life.
ahh man. i went out of the relationship, this is scary. how to find a man heh. sick people usually wants to take the world.
ye. i try talk to him about my emotions now he's totally not listening. and i don't think he expect other than a house and a job and that was good enough, if he was emotional we could of helped eachother do the house and have a good time. he's like a perfect normal type like the ones who get a job, but what bout me heh. i'm more of a emotional type.
ye i did. i just now told this other guy what i like about him. heh i wonder if he gonna laugh or not. i'm pretty freaked out.
that he deserve the best he can get, and that the ones getting him is the lucky one. and that i digg hhim. and that i don't think i can give him what he wants:( and that i hope he likes that someone see him as he is.
doesn't matter. it's all what it is. a friend.
i just sit here and wait for someone to catch me as i am:)
it's pure and simple love to people, this way he will feel good at night, and not need to feel terrible.
well if it's someone who will protect me, it's him:)
he isn't the only one i could have a relation to tho, but right now i'm single and i wanna relax.
don't you think any men would love hearing that?
something felt different, but i dont think he is answering it.
probably busy as usual or something. he goes all over the place to help people. hopefully find himself a lady. he is like a dream man, but i doubt it's good for the kid.
ye. i don't know. it's the kid, i don't know how old it is, he would do anything for having more touch with it. but well like if we were together we could be really flashing jobwise.
ye like, he lives of state, and no extra money, if he had someone at home he wouldn't have such a hard time, and also getting things he need heh. i mean if he's a male, and doing this job with anxiety and has a hard time get things done at home, its' not as easy to have a kid around. heh why i want to help him, cause he's so helpful with people. he complained about people leaving stuff around(last gf) but well if we actually was on wavelength why not do it together.
sucks to be me with my last bf needing all the stuff i can't give him and he can't give me anything i want heh.
hehe ya. i got a cousin coming from sweden with someone lol. pink floyd guy heh, doubt he wants me tho ehh.
hahaha. i need to find someone doh! hopefully someone who doesn't want kids or have to work a far away:) and is able to cheer me up.
ya. i just want a solution as soon as possible heh. btw my cousin is like super on these stuff as well, we get along sickly good heh. too bad i didn't get one of his mates heh, or not really mate, but maye someone in town. this is why i really love being around this guy. another solution is someone like yourself heh. i'm love sick aren't i? well this sucks trying talk to people.
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