Hello and welcome, I am happy to help you today.
Can we chat?
Have you talked to your husband about your displeasure openly?
Yes, and he says it makes him happy taking care of his mom.
That is a normal answer. But has he taken her to a doctor about the groin pain?
I just think that she is depressed. My husband doesn't tell me much.
Yes, they got two different opinions.
One said it was a tumor on her bladder and groin and she should have a hysterectamy
What are these?Why has not he tried to treat the condition and make her self reliant?
The other said it wasn't a tumor
I don't think she wants to be self reliant, that is the problem
surgery was recommended but I don't think she wants to go through the surgery
They had it scheduled in Florida and she cancelled it.
You can ask him to take his mom to an old age home for better care.
I don't think she wants to go to rehab
I have tried to talk to him. The mother doesn't want to go into an old age home. They said she is happy
She told my Mom during mother's day that is was alright. My husband paints this grand picture
He said she should live out the rest of her life where she is happy.
She doesn't want to be around strangers or make friends.
Yes, these things are sensitive and difficult to handle without hurting someone's feeling.
Ok, then you could arrange a nurse or some helper for her at home.
The other night I asked my husband if I could go with him when he was visiting her. I wasn't expecting to go inside. I wanted him to drop me off at a store. He said I couldn't go into her apt/
She doesn't want people there.
I asked him to get help like a nurse, or aid. That is what the initial plan was. S
Do you have any idea what you would like to do?
She doesn't want to pay and my husband does it all
Is this normal and healthy for her to be spending a day in a smoke filled room watching TV and doing crosswords?
Not at all, she could have lung cancer!You can tell your husband to bring her to your house for "better care", just wait for his answer.
I want her to do things for herself. But my husband says she can't. He runs over there after a full day of work to fill her pills or do her shopping.
Just show him that you care for her too!
This way I think he will realize what he is doing..
Her longs are clear which gave her a green light to smoke again. He won't bring her here and he knows I don't want her here. I am sorry I am probably being selfish
I cannot have a smoker in my house and our house is too small for his mother.
I also think she is depressed because she doesn't talk
No, just pretend to show him that you care for his mom..
I have seen her with my Mom and my mom does all the talking. She is extremely quiet and my mom said she is withdrawn.
get some anti depressants for her from your GP.
She doesn't feel depressed. She said she is happy. I keep saying how can someone be happy living like that.
She would do good with some counselling like behavior therapy.
My husband says that I am the problem and causing problems.
When I need him, he won
will not change plans with her. It is really getting to me.
My husband is her favorite and never tells her like it is the way the other children will
No, you have to talk to a counseller to get rid of everything.
We should all talk to a counselor? or just me?
You should talk privately because your husband will not go with you initially.
So it is your opinion that a person living like this isn't healthy right?
He / she will talk with you and help you in every situation.
I think it is going to come to this. I would like to speak with his sister too when she visits.
My husband allows her to do whatever she wants.
A counseller is the only solution for you and your family problem.
I think he feels guilty because his father was never around. He was a good provider for the mother but the mother basically raised five kids on her own. I have heard from people that she complained all the time. My husband said his mother had a terrible life.
Thank you for your time.
Your husband will not take any help / advice from you but will surely listen to a counsellor.