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he annoyed me at all times. pushing pushing until i called myself out. talking like he knows anything. same with sisters and family. no help. no love that i could see.
talk about all the stuff i do wrong. he has no idea why i'm not doing it anymore. just push push in everycoversation and no respect. hes not listening nor give me any emotional.
ya skyping him now and all he has to say is what i have to do. he's wasting my time. it's pointless trying to make sense into what peopel say, when all they do is tell me what to do, it's all annoying.
thanks for being a friend.
still thinking i need a parent. and fullday help. wish i had someone at ll times.
ye like, get me there and there, and fix things for me.
they all messed up trying to help me. they don't listen.
listen and give me the help i need. make me happy. they tried organizing for me but never listen but for something that had to be done like schoolwork. they made me not speaking of feelings. and didnt ask for help until i was 15.
they could of asked for help instead of threaten with it.
i'm upset cause i never made my own opinion. they just put things into my head.
i did last night. i have no idea how to talk to them. it makes me sad cause it ruin my life.
ye. it sucks talking about it right now.
they have no therapist but once in a while. it sucks.
me and bf just talk. i cried. he coming down.
that i'm important and he wants me.
hate being alone. it hurts when family isn't taking me into consideration at all.
yes. then i cry when it's over.
i'm angry when i feel rejected and noone listens. or if negative attention, or cause i don't like someone is helping me, if they not suppose to talk about it. or talk to me nonstop heh.
it's cause i'm angry cause noone has been there for me, and say the right stuff instead i dip down the ocean and avoid the feeling.
and then they try to help and i just grow more angry cause they are avoiding emotions to make me happy but actually makes me unhappy cause friends suppose to share feelings not avoid them, and then they go all mad when something is wrong on their side,
and try to make me do as they told but it's not relaly a good option to make people do as you're told, cause it's better inspire them. the other thing is i feel like i was abused cause my feelings were strong, and they didn't allow me to have them and just made things worse when i had them, kinda lack of respect? none of them ever asked for help, and then they projected that feeling onto me and i got lost all the way to 34.
also i get angry cause i had right once i will have right again, if someone denies me on something i know, i don't like that, and if i'm punished for something i cannot do i hate them heh.
also i'm angry i had to do all that stuff that challenged me that was just hopeless to do, cause i still didn't learn it.
i don't like how i'm being treated, cause i know that i'm a good person and i know that my own decisions matters, so why would they make them for me?
yes. but also cause noone had the tools to help, they just tried to, it all made me do as they say and maed me have no life on my own.
ye. it should be doable. i just wish they would let me speak so they stop doing this stupid stuff. i cried for 30 min and now gonna go eat a min.
exactly. i want someone to take care of the rest so i can focus on it, and not talk to me, but let me speak when there is an issue, cause otherwise they just add to my frustration. but like my bf he speaks of things i'm not even focusing on, and call up things i know i cannot do much about but is aware, and this is frustrating listen to when i'm on another page. it's the same if someone is chatting all the time and i cnanot chat on my own and it fills my head. it's the same when i do stuff i'm not able to feel good about, and make me frustrated on top of the emotions i have in my head. so i'll try and communicate clearly so they egt it, and then they will give me what i need, and just make me relax. my reaction is acuse they add to the frustration, and sometimes when i ask for things they don't help, and this is making my anger grow. if people make me fel guilty and don't give me forgiveness i get agitated, when they suppose to be able to listen to me and make me feel good, rather than make my head filled up by things i'm wrapped up about and cannot do much with and noone is trying to help me sort it. i'm pretty much reacting to any emotions they give me that add to the frustration.
if this is what is wrong and i'm not sure what of them, how would you do it to get it out mentally?
personal expression, creativity, addiction, criticism, faith, decision making (choices), will, lack of authority
i'm pretty sure my authority is back on track, my will dunno, decision making is fairly good, faith is up and down, criticism is adding to my frustration, or the faith in myself is backing down if people just keep adding to frustration, addiction is still there, creativity not there, personal expresion is pretty much there, but guess it wasn't the other day
i just made this letter today.
he matter is that I am aware of the subconscious but I have not gotten it out quite yet, so Igetting more and more trouble the more I do, everything is filled in the head. Therefore, I forget everything that should be done, and do not get things done, because the head is constantly full of difficult things from childhood or present.If people talk to me, and all the worse, and the head is filled with things.so now I have been in constant trance for several months and it takes everything out of me. Therefore, I get very little done and can not speak too much, if I am not aware exactly what is wrong with me.what gives me pause is music or positivity, and that I find out what is wrong with me, do very well. I kind of reprogrammed the past because I've had so many difficult things that I have interacted with. I feel I have something to talk about but I have no conversation with the ball. therefore I keep it to myself, and try to avoid chores, to be completed as quickly as possible with it, and I'd rather deal with it here during the day and not get anything at night because it makes me terrified to get it at night, and to get it out or when I have a strong feeling that the day is horrible for me, and then it is not good to say ka I do. Therefore, it is important to get someone to talk to about things so I sitetr all day with feelings in the head, and must deal with everything yourself.forgot to say that if I had a way to find out what sense it is so I can focus on it and do something about it at once, and I have to somehow take the therapy while I get everything organized, and some are with and looking after problem as I find out what is wrong.
what i've been working the past days on top of it is
Physical Location - center of the forehead Purposes - action of ideas, insight, mind development Spiritual Lesson - understanding, reality check point, detachment, open mind Physical dysfunctions associated with brow chakra - lbrain tumors, strokes, blindness, deafness, seizures, learning disabilities, spinal dysfunctions, panic, depression Mental/Emotional Issues - fear of truth, discipline, judgement, evaluation, emotional intelligence, concept of reality, confusion Information stored in brow chakra - seeing clear picture (symbolic or literal), wisdom, intuition, mental facilities, intellect.
i got somewhat through it, salt water on feet. should be on who i am now.
i can still feel it, but was at neck pain earlier. which should be who i am. trying to figure if there is a way to get the help i need, but i'm ok if my bf starts communicate, and do something about stuff.
right now not necessary, but it would be nice find a organizer.
hey you, i got a plan and i'm not sure how it would look.
if aspergers and adhd pasients has a organisation problem and it's needed to do tasks, cognitive therapy could develop into a brain structure program, where valuing the persons skills and get structurized the day and brain in such a way that you're capable of doing anything you want, the other thing is to benefit from atypical treatment where you don't need to structurize like i've been doing, but same time put in the right words so you get cognitive treatment at the same time, so like you use the chakra system to find out what part of the brain is having a effect that hasn't been worked on.
the problem right now is that most people who has asperger has blocked their feelings if they are not given all the stuff they need to do a job. so treating the parents is way more important than treating the pasient:)
then also the treatment available is all based on cognitive behaviour rather than invidual skills. i really can't trust my ability to trust other people and get things done, i rather get it working with my bf to get organisation done, and get the special group to make food plans and organisation, but same time have people speak to.
ok if you got a measurement games that develop the brain to see if there is any potential in different areas, to start off treatment in an area, thn you check for blockage in brain, emotional blocks, cause with emotional blocks you need to find the right feeling and work on it to unblock it.'
if you then use meditation as a relax technique, and get people open up chakras one by one, you can use things like pain to see what is the problem, and unblock it by using cognitive therapy(like thoughts therapy), instead of stressing a person you strictly give the organisation needed to use "thought therapy" until the persons block is gone, and just keep doing this until all blockages is done(unconscious and subconscious thoughts), you can probably also use hypnosis to find the thought. if you keep doing this for a while you can get a person's emotions back to normal, and then work on the skills needed to have a job or what is best for the patient.
if you then test the brain's skills, like which one is working and which one is not, and if there is possibilities to do what you going to do in treatment, and then find tasks that suits the person's brain you will then be able to get people sleeping better, working out, and not having difficulties with structures unless there is a structure problem you need someone else to take the task.
this is why i didn't get through in cognitive behaviour, cause i had no way to stress out and structure myself at the same time. sametime i had noone talk to about emotions and i could not get it out myself or structure it myself. this all resulted in me being fat cause i lived my left in impulsiveness.
you can't make plans or ask a person who have no idea who they are, to do things anyone elses way heh, if you have no clue what is the probelm.
yes exactly, but you need to know what emotion that is in you or find the thought process from the right angle, if you cannot know what emotion a person has how can you know their thought process. but ye i know what you mean, you just can't treat a person with blocked thoughts and emotions with CBT alone unless you know what their thoughts are, cause they're blocked too I don't know what thoughts i had or could not figure. the thoughts and emotions was just blocked and i had no clue what i had been thinking to get the behaviour accessed and opened up. actually from all i know i just had to talk to someone and get CBT treatment just from thoughts. if you're head is full from emotions taking over your brain how can you think clearly or learn anything tho? well you needed organisational skills and the right way to start rather than start and know all that without dealing with emotions i thikn? if i had to deal with it all alone without chakra balancing i'd get nowhere. you know i had no emotions all my life they mostly was blocked. it's also possible that i would of fixed it in a heartbeat with emotions still subconscious, if they actually had done it with me. i think my meditation kinda show me thoughts and behaviour rather than using organisational skills to solve it, and i couldn't do that, and noone did t for me. ithou could tell them what thoughts i had but i never show an emotion. this is why training only or no talks about it, doesn't solve it. neither can you structurize a person who cannot do it. i think my entire being was blocked cause noone take the charge and do something.
yep my head went full cause i read all that. and this is why i didn't deal with the thoughts, cause i couldn't, nor could i access who i needed to deal with every day life. my personality conflicted with treatment and tasks and i could not do any tasks. and that's what they expected me to do on my own. i never dealt with it before, and i could not do it. if none of my frustrations was shown to people but me going in denial over things like they put me in frustration and my thoughts were all in my mind and so was my emotions and then i could not do anything. see what i mean? unless i start unblock the thoughts and emotions they could not see what was wrong. see what i'm saying?
heh i had no clue what thought i had. it goes both ways, if you cannot know any emotions you cannot know what thought lead to it, and if noone see your emotions only thoughts, and deal with it, how can you structure someone's brain who's filled with emotions and thoughts you had that lead to it. you cannot just make a patient aware of things and not deal with it. i only mailed them thoughts and noone dealt with it. on top of it i didn't express my thoughts or tell them someone had to help me. besides they just fill my head with thoughts without telling me what emotions was existing. i had to get to the back of the book to get anything done, or change the emotion. i was aware of the thoughts cause i read a book, but no where to do the structure doing it. you know my mom did all the work when i was in school except reading and writing, and remind me of stuff and organize it for me. my dad was when i had math class. when they couldn't do it anymore i failed and played computer instead. the only reason i knew social rules etc.. was cause my mom was so social even with peope with problems.
probably. it's all in my head anyway tho, the feelings get out on their own. the problem is just them making it so hard to live. instead of focus on my strength side they focus on all the negative ones. the reason i react to thing is cause they cannot figure that my negative ones is as it is, and cause my strengths doesn't get organized and helped to do something with. i need way more help than they realize, and not with what they're trying to do. how can they not see what my problem is? and what is not. my weaknesses isn't up to me.
well i had no abilities to do so. they just made it worse. made me completely frustrated every day, and ruin my health cause i couldn't handle the stress, and noone talk to me, or let me speak. i could not do therapy without getting it out and dealt with. instead i go to you to talk and get nowhere or whether i just made up excuses to talk to people but noone dealing with it, and then i started meditation when i didn't have you to get somewhere. you get it? i had to ask you questions to get somewhere cause dealing with it was just impossible. meditation nearly killed me cause noone took responsibility and deal with it right away. heh i been doing this all my life, make up excuses to get help instead of telling what is really going on. all my life i just done what people want and not put myself first and get the help needed, cause my mom never asked for it, neither did I. when i then ask for help noone figure what is wrong and deals with it, but give me tasks to completely frustrate me.
yep. they need to know the problem before attempting to help. i probably knew what was wrong but they should of seen that me doing nothing isn't helping:) i could have so much right i wnated and nothing was done. if they only hadn't seen my sleeping issue, but my skills as a problem, i already had tested them years ago, why couldn't they see it? guess i knew how to handle whatever hit me, just not a clinical disease that ruined my life and dealing with emotions by blocking them isn't exactly bright(but i made the decision as a 1 year old). guess i did the right thing huh?
yep subconscious, that's what is inside me emotions and thoughts caus e of stroke.
yep. sleep time. i'm just sleeping over at my bf for the time being.
hey busy tonight?
something is wierd with the questionary. started another one.