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Dr. Chip
Dr. Chip, Doctor (MD)
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 22576
Experience:  Over 20 yrs of Family Practice
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i think its over. i cannot take it on my own, need to find

Customer Question

i think it's over. i cannot take it on my own, need to find a way to get it overwith and get my bf out of my life.

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Health
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Just tell him so
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

i did. i'm terrified and at my parents. have to find a solution tomorrow. my life is pretty much over as i used to live it.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Not sure what you're talking about
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

my whole life is a lie. depending on others without showing where my weakness is, not growing strong, until i realized it's all a lie and all based on my needs and not on my strongness. it's pretty whacked that noone figured. all thanks to my head weakness and people obsessing about making it right and thne i did too. it's all whacked, just cause a brain injury i have no clue what is. darn my head hurts like hell. even the relationships i have is a lie.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
You just rambling here and I'm having trouble following you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

well i joined relations due to insecuity of myself, low selfesteem and not much gratitude. i based life on my ego, and forgot the pain of being me.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
I'm still not following you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

i got together with my bf due to insecurity and pain and addiction and ask for help cause of not taking my life due to high ego, i don't know if i got a brain injury or not, but i dont know, but my whole life is a pity run. i really need some answers to figure this out. all i know is that i cannot be alone trying to figur ethis out, and it's pointless to have a guidance like working out without my life is secure to me. i kinda told my bf the truth. i don't think i can fix this. i'm extremely fearful i guess due to decifits. what do you think?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
I think you're way overdramatizing this. What did your bf say?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

he denied help me figure.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Why just now are you suddenly so upset?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

i told him we should not be together. not really his fault tho. i lied like no tomorrow about why i wanted to be with him. not love. just a get away or safety strategy.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
So why are you so upset?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

cause i failed, really badly too. think about using the bible as a strategy to get things as you want, i've worked against it all my life, i'm just worthless, and my brain i dunno.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
I still don't understand what happened here--just because you told your bf it wasn't working out?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

no cause he refused to help me with the structure thing and figure it out, i cannot live like without controlling things and proof stuff to people, you know i sometimes wish someone would rape me just to feel something? i wish the worst thing happening to me, just to be able to feel the pain. anything is better than my life. what do you thikn is left to deal with?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Where exactly are you living right now--still in a facility?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

i went back home to parents until tomorrow atleast., was in my apartment.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
And where tomorrow?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

i will talk to them, first have to figure why this headache. what you reckon? ego or just pure misery`?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Ego and feeling sorry for yourself
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

why would i`?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Because you think no one else would
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

there's not really a reason for them to feel sorry for me. the problem is them trying to disguise and let me fear the unknown, why not just point it out and tell me exactly what's wrong with me, instead of disguising? or let me figure why i'm sick, it's just so stupid, that every chat i have with people is disguised as therapy, heh i guess i'm a bit feeling sorry for myself for not having one single person who i can attract to, not a single person that adores me, and not a single person who wants to do a thing for me in RL that is. it's just so pointless that i'm alone, just cause i don't know how. master ego or what? tired of feeling sorry for myself. i still have no reason why i'm put in this position and not getting anywhere. what was wrong with my question about the brain? i really feel ackward for the pain i brig people. aybe i feel guilt.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
I think it's just that you have trouble talking about your feelings and trouble in thinking you know what's right most of the time.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

well i dont think that my brain works right. cause its not who i'm suppose to be, and i feel the challenges nearly kills me. hmm hope noone is outside. rock on window.

actually if all my indepency made me return to 200 panic attacks for things that went wrong with other åpeoples guidance, wouldnt it means i know myself?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Say that again?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

like my ego, is like full of it, but only cause my decifit, and i can act the opposite on front of other people just not my bf for the min, i had 200 panic attacks to rewind my defenses. i blocked all my emotions for so many years. every day people work against what was wrong with me, and made me feel like crap, and made me find all the excuses in the world not to do anything they wanted, to be honest i never worked very well with practical work or organisational stuff, cause believe me i tried for 25 years, then stop trying. what if everyone is wrong about me being lazy, but i still believe i'm very right and that's these troubles caused everything happening to me. i'm sure i had ocd symptoms a while.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
You're very angry with those other people even if you don't admit it
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

what do you mean? how can they be at fault? they never knew about asperger. i'm just angry at the world for nto figuring it out a long time ago heh. ok how do i become angry and stop being it?


 

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Just because you may think they aren't at fault doesn't diminish the anger. To stop it you first have to admit it
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

your right. i hate the world and the system that makes you not able to help anyone but drug them down and think that it's okay to do low cost therapy, and not actually treat people from the start of their childhood. meditation is needing to be allright. why is not people smart enough to be guided to a good path, it ruins all i've got. also i'm angry noone listens, just talk back and try find methods instead of an answer in a honest way. i'm tired of figuring things out myself, why didn't people do all this in the first place.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Well there are people who meet that criteria and either you just haven't met them as yet or maybe you have and just didn't know it.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

erm ye you know the other day i just wanted 1 positive person in my life, now i figured ok all my people has got so much negativity that it's kiling me, same with the music and everything else, i know 3 people that i hardly see that isn't negative.

when i'm positive people feel threatened. well i hugged one of my treatment people yesterday, i guess he liked it. bf is killing me cause he's constantly trying to hug me and trying to make me do stuff, trying to explain to me what's right and wrong, and i go nuts.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
So get away from him
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

well ya. i still need help, who knows what's right and wrong. if noone trusts my ability to figure what's right and wrong, why should I?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
You just need to meet some new people
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

you know the reason i don't wanna be with people? they're not suiting me, it's really boring to do anything but listening and point things out, or just relax in front of a movie or cuddle. reason i hate that my bf just goes poof, but he's nothing like that.

 

ye btw i'm a bit scared atm. a rock going against the window at middle of the night, can it be anything else than people? i'm afraid it's my sis's ex. how can i get him arrested? last time he took with him a kid so my sis didn't wanted a scene.

 

btw i plan stop all the treatment atm, cause of it just isn't going to work, it's pretty pointless when i could take care of family and we can be together, i'd rather be with my relatives and treat myself. am i wrong?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Nothing wrong with being with your family. As for the rock at the window, I doubt it's the guy you talked about--he'd do more than throw a pebble at your window
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

well he doesnt want to get arrested and my sis is elsewhere. he probably think he can talk me or someone into letting him in. but how can i call someone to figure if hes arund at 3 am and how do i get him challenged and arrested.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Are you by yourself?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

yes. my parents upstairs sleeping, but a rock how do i notify someone to get a order to stay away from me, this way i can get him arrested right? or for a facebook comment?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Stay away from Facebook. You could call the police but unless whoever is still outside it isn't likely they can do anything.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

i need a order for him to stay away right? well who do i call if not the police?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
I don't know about Norway but in the states you need an attorney to talk to a judge
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hmmm, what is the best way to get him caught for something, to make him look bad? get a picture off him outside with doors locked? he was sent on the bus the other day to go back and he nearly brought the kids with him then cause she let him in. how can i else help the case against him? it's threatening if he's still here now.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
You really have to prove he's actually stalking you or your parents and unless he does something where there are witnesses you can't really do much
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hmm how far is stalking going? cause my sis actually had to go with him and the kids for the bus and then he got caught but she refuse to make a scene in front of kids, and then they sent him to the city back home, after letting him go on the bus. but we can get a warrant at him for being close to the house can't we regardless if my sis is here?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
If your sis gets the retraining order and he violates that while she's with you, then he can be arrested
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

ok, so there is no way i can say that i don't want him close to house regardless if he has beaten up my sis? or that i don't want him close to me? well i can photoshoot him close to the house and says he's after us right? darn how can i get him in prison without losing my safety? or how can i get him expelled.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
No law against his just being near your house
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

what if i go outside, he probably will do something stupid right? but there must be something i can do to imprison him without being losing safety?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
No--you don't confront him by yourself
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

why not facebook sweet him to make him all sweat? that's enough proof if i can make him shown guilty? or even play all sweet to make him discuss it? is words or a threat what makes them react? the police that is? i'm pretty scary when it comes to talking ain't i? i need selfesteem, is there a reason I should have one? btw which one would you pick for me, someone sweet who got all messed up by asperger and other people, or someone who's an ass and refuses do what told? or do i just not have emotions anymore? how?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
We're bouncing all over the place here. Neither description of a mate for you makes any sense to me. And don't be playing around with messed up people like this guy on facebook--very, very dangerous
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

heh i even would take him into the apartment and make him do the same to me to get him proven guilty if it would help my sis. he's not really something bad, i bet i could get him bitchslap me in face in a few min, and have proof for him being guilty as charged. but i hope my first sentences that made me agree with him wasn't bad, but what's wrong with people. or what's wrong with me? darn i get off teh track here, it's a bit annoying thi with my sis, i cannot even take a smoke now.

 

 

so basically i feel i need to find a trigger to make myself feel okay, i cannot stay here forever, and i really do have safety issues, cause i just sit on the fellows once i can.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Seriously--you don't want to be alone with him at all
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

i know. don't worry. bad fantasies. how do i rid myself of this need to safety net by being around people? or just safety from men?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Safety net?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

i'm really out there for the moment. waiting my parents to come home to eat, and trying to get over stress, so i can talk to people. i think i had to get over being alone and in fear, it's just so easy. i need to get over this pain it is to be alone and not safe and maybe my life will return.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
So you have a lot of fear about not being safe?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

well yeah, i was heartbroken for failing my bf, and top of it afraid. i've been terrified for a long time now to lose him. i just couldn't tell him how i felt, cause it tears me apart knowing that i actually wasn't in a real relationship and it all started on a lie. hopefully he gets it. how can i say i'm sorry for being who i am, i feel so guilty. my safety issue is probably more cause i hurt so many and failed so many times to say what i felt. how can i forgive myself. i realyl don't deserve love. trust is a difficult thing.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Well don't just blame yourself--it sounds as though he isn't willing to work on the relationship from his side
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

we both were addicted to computer for 10 years, no wonder. he is just going all out on computer or talk too much all the time when he's able to talk, and i'm going nuts. there's a reason i talk about feelings all the time, and cannot think about anything else, cause i got too much of them due to all the stuff i can't do. and my blocked emotions is there constantly so i stop dealing with stuff.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
You really need someone else besides your bf
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

well my problem is they don't let me speak they just make tasks. reason i don't go through the night without problems cause they left it for me to struggle with. how to deal with constant talking in my head without knowing what it is?

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Constant talking?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

ye like blocked. it try send me messages of whatever, and i have no clue what. it keeps doing this all day.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
I don't understand
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

my emotions is all in my head. ear is speaking to my head to get it out. so once someone give me new ideas i'm blocking compeltely, and f**k myself up. dunno what's in there right now, i just had a lot of guilt and then people start speaking and then i'm screwed.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
To get emotions out you have to talk about them and share them. Hey--this page has gotten very old and very long so we need to close it with a rating
Dr. Chip, Doctor (MD)
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 22576
Experience: Over 20 yrs of Family Practice
Dr. Chip and other Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

it seem noone gets to talk about it. gonna try meditate a while. since don't know what the emotion is.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
OK--talk to you later on a new page
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

doh new questionary isn't really working.

Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
No--I was just busy and couldn't get to it. Try a new one in about three hours

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