i'm ok with emotions. i just need to deal with life, and i cannot just say to my bf and parents and everyone that i'm asperger and that i cannot do what they want me to do, and just stay in this hospital without trying, unless i'm sure, cause then they just give up and i am pretty certain i'm sure, and i really want a reason to make sure i do everything right and i love this so why not continue to evolve until i'm sure that i'm right, my selfdevelopment all depends on this, so it's just a conflinct that stands in my path to become who i wanna be. someone who can proudly say that i'm doing something to get my health on track. it's all up to me anyway:)
but sometimes you need guidance to get on the right track, and i think i'm okay as i am, but not knowing what lies ahead is just killing me cause i need to be in control of my own future. it's better try and fail than not trying to do something good in your life right? it's in the way of my health but i have to get people help me on all this that matters, and right now i can't deal with any of it, i'm just helping myself along the way to avoid feeling miserable. then i can return to my life cause i do something good that helps me and others.
my wish is to figure something that helps me and others, so i don't feel like i'm a waste, cause i focused on this for so long and it's needed to develop. this is about helping yourself and be as much as you can be, and be sure you can be confident, and nothing else make me comfortable than achieveing something you have worked for. i told them i have asperger and that i'm not functioning, but how do they know i'm right, if they don't see any proof that the reason i'm not doing as they say, is cause i'm right in my intiution.
so what do you think? i should be my life and noone else should tell me otherwise right? you know i'm not dealing with emotions myself, i just tell them to others to make me happy, and they don't, then nothing is wrong with me, it's all them, not doing what they should be doing heh. if i need them to be okay, then they should of told me that right away:) not let me find out myself heh.
cognitive therapy works, but i don't think you can just workout and heal yourself while noone is doing nothing to help you, especially if it's blocked emotions. they pushed me to hell and back for 3 days and i discover 6 problems tho before i could say i'm me and i'm asperger and there's nothing to do about it, but how insecure am i not having to prove this to everyone, cause i know i'm right.
sometimes you need to be placed somewhere to receive cognitive therapy but then you need your defiences proved as well.