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Dr. Chip
Dr. Chip, Doctor (MD)
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 22216
Experience:  Over 20 yrs of Family Practice
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so all i need to do is think that i choose who i am. im completely

Customer Question

so all i need to do is think that i choose who i am. i'm completely free.a psychlogist told me that i could just pick the diagnose.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Health
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Say that again about the psychologist?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
heh first time i met him he said to me, i could pick from a row of mental sicknesses and find the best pick, since i obviously knew what was the case, i just took the best one, so figure, if it's my freedom to be who i am, i can pick what sickness and what life i want, kinda blow up in my face to pick what i wanted. this was before i met with the aspergers.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Well, even having a diagnosis just gives a name to something and doesn't really treat it at all
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
erm yeah. sartre has a good point tho. if you make your brain a virus and keep adding to the virus, you're gonna be stuck, since you have freedom to pick what your life is gonna be, and you let the virus decide instead of using your brain, all you need is freedom and what you need is to pick the right choice. or what do you? this is why i keep asking people for solutions that overcome the challenge, and for some reason i just am given tasks that choose what mood i'm suppose to be in, while what you need is tasks that improve your knowledge of what is right and wrong. that is what asperger is, a pick to do the right or the wrong thing, but with a wrong wired brain that focuses on making viruses cause you're vulnerable with brain capacity in certain areas, you depend on other people and social cues, while you don't accept that you cannot understand exactly what is wrong wired yourself and noone can do it for you.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Hey--let's continue this tomorrow--got to get to bed
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
sorry np. i just had to see you before bedtime. wasn't sure what you were doing.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Getting into bed in about ten minutes--don't post again until tomorrow
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
so what will make me realize what is left of problems that is an obstacle?anxiety is causing me to fill my head with clutter, and i cannot even walk around without losing my breath for the time being, nor listen to people without getting a headache. can anxiety/stress cause you to stop breathing right, or even body functions isn't working neither is memory.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
What's the clutter in your head?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
no clue. i can't really meditate. i listen to someone for 5 min and i get a headache.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
I'm not sure I understand the problem?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
the problem is the emotional distress, and i don't know what it is, and when i get it like that i need to talk loads to get rid of it, cause i don't know what is going on if not, then once someone start talking i get all messed up again. I cannot listen to anyone talking without getting all messed up, and then i cry and then later my headache is there, and then later if someone talks again i'm stuck again. once i'm aware of having a feeling, like i have a headache and a stomach issue, and i guess acid is messing me up most of the time. it's a bit nervousness as well. I don't get time to emotional pick myself up and do somethinga bout it. or even i cannot take the silence. guess it's fear of anxiety, and not coping the problems.the head goes like. aojwijwidk aouiwytjk. i need to rage, get it out, f**k it up, and let go.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
What exactly is the emotion you're referring to?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
it's blocked. i cannot make it out. i know i was trying to find a way of living, and that there is something i can't cope with. i just don't want this feeling, and i don't know what is left to deal with, and it causing me anxiety not knowing. if you take it out from this feeling it is the headchakra(spiritual awareness), and stomach is self worth, Anger. Resentment. Unworthiness. Guilt. Self Esteem.Self Image. Issues of ResponsibilityLevel of Relationship: Basic Relationship With Inner SelfBasic Need: Valuing the needs of self.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
OK--at least that I can understand. We've talked about low self esteem, anger and depression before. Why can't you talk to someone about all that?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i can only talk once a week. that's why i ask. i cannot talk alone, and i cannot get rid of anything talking to them, it just messes me up more. it's 3 months wait time, they cannot help me. here's some more. oh head chakra is also, Mental and Emotional Connections: ability to trust life, values, ethics, courage,humanitarianism, selflessness, ability to see the larger pattern, faith and inspiration, spirituality and devotionwhat can i do, i'm going nuts. i am not ready to deal with it. and i know i want to, what to do to calm down? my bf is here to help if i have a crisis.basically this is what is the problem, i be alone i get anxiety, i be together with people talking i get anxiety, if i'm doing stuff i get anxiety after i'm done cause i didn't deal with it. i need someone to listen to my emotions most of the time, and help out, but they don't have time for me whenever i want and if i'm alone i need it.boy i want out of this, it's f**king my life up so much i cannot even workout or think straight.my selfvalues is most likely what is wrong, waht can i do to calm down and reteach myself to valuesif my intelligence isn't high enough to cope with what i know what need to be done, but cannot do it, how do i cope without people? also my memory is all messed up so i'm really sorry, i cannot read much. even if i suppose to watch something funny i'm all a mess.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
How about starting to write down your thoughts about your low self esteem and your anger?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
ok i want to stop being afraid of being sick, and not able to cope wit hit. i need some help now! i hate how this keep returning every time i'm alone, i cannot get a purpose of life if i'm like this, i just get sicker and sicker and i cannot get out of it. i cannot wait 3 months, i need help now, i cannot live like this, i cannot feel like this, i cannot feel good, just bad, i need help. i'm sick of waiting. i don't have what skills i need, and noone is teaching me it. i cannot take it when i get like this.i know what i need, help! my heart is pounding.Mental and Emotional Connections: love and hatred, resentment and bitterness,grief and anger, self-centeredness, loneliness and commitment, forgivenessand compassion, hope and trust. this is when i don't get the help i need. ok that's what i feel and now i'm falling apart and think so negative, and lose every selfworth, and wanting to be a baby again. so how do i be a baby without needing anyone until someone can help.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
So why the low self esteem--and keep this simple?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
what do you mean? i need to know how to cope as a baby, without getting help. inside i'm like this that i stop wanting food, stop wanting being adult, stop taking responsibility, so i don't have to be dealing with my emotions they are all a mess, i keep going back here every week. i have 5 things to cope with and i can onluy take 1 at a time, i dunno where to start. my emotions has to stop being like this, and i dunno what is easiest. i need to find one emotion that i can focus on, and i dunno what it is that i can deal with easiest. i need a strategy and know what is worse and what is easy. how do you know what it is, if you're starting to cope like if you were a baby? how do i calm down and do something about it?
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
That's what I'm trying to do if you'll just slow down for a minute and stop complicating things. You're lonely and have a low self esteem problem because you didn't get enough intimacy and connection when you were a child--you need to focus on that and write about it
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
ok this is what i feel. my selfworth is fine, i just don't get it acknowledge as it should be acknowledged, and it frustartes the hell out of me, that people cannot believe what i'm saying, just cause i have asperger they should really listen to me anyway, they try to, and i cannot really get back to who i used to be, cause i let myself try to be someone i'm not, and all my stuff and life will go down the toilet with me and i dunno what is left, if i am who i am i would feel great, i just wish they would start listen and stop planning things for me, without my clearance, then i need to study and i cannot, cause memory has weakened so has brain so has my body and it is killing me not able to get started on tasks cause all i need is those tasks. when i'm sick i'm suppose to get taken care of not wait 3 years to find someone talk to!
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Sounds as though you're very lonely
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
yeah, i cannot do what i need to live.i cannot even express my feelings anymore cause noone did listen until now lately, and they still aren't doing anything about it, and just let me cook my own meat and kill it.i'm in deep misery cause i cannot be who i wanna be, and they are not helping. they told me to workout when it's the thoughts something is wrong with, and i cannot even workout anymore cause it has overwhelmed em.how can i do this.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
What exactly do you want them to do about it?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
they make me feel like i don't know anything, when i'm the one that knows what is wrong. i cannot deal with it. they are treating me like a kid and try to stop me from harming. i just want a solution, why can't they be adults and give me one. tney need to help! tell me what to do and stop letting me be alone with it, and listen to me when i talk, and stop making excuses they can't see me, someone has to get me to the right page!i cannot move nor talk to people nor do anything i wanna do or anything, cause i cannot cope with this. if i have joy it's for a moment while trying to do something useful for people, and i feel like i'm alive without knowing what is wrong and do something about it. i cannot tsructure my brain and i need to, i need a reason to live. i can hardly sit here talk to you cause all the pain and worries, make me really exhausted.they're not stopping to bug me with whatever they're pick is, and i need out of it, i don't want to deal with them trying to do me good for no reason, and i cannot deal with trying to be who i wanna be. i deserve more than this and i cannot communicate so noone is helping me when i need it, i lose touch with what people say.i need to be hold tight and helped get over this. some comfort, how i feel, isn't right for anyone.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Have you talked to your bf about this?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
he's sleeping, i need to figure a way to deal with it, and get out of it, i cannot feel like this anymore, i need to find out what i need. i need a comfort and hug and cry, and whatever i can to deal with it. this is such a mess that i cannot get enough out fast enough and get over it. guess i'm stubborn. i cannot do it until i'm totally losing it, or someone doesn't believe me. my bf said i should ask him, but what's the point if i cannot find a solution and he cannot find one. shall i call someone(i doubt it will help), but are you able to help?
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Can you call a crises center?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
crisis? not emergency? there is no crisis but people who's being beaten or need to escape from being victimized. the other call is 113 it just send me to a doctor and do nothing about it.i cannot prioritize being alonea nd deal with it and talk to you, i need you. i dunno what you can help with? can't believ eit's a 3 month waitlist, nothing else will work for me, unless i'm in a big crisis or something. is this crisis big enough? they never deal with me. i just have to stay sick and hope they will fix it, how sick do i have to be?
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
So what's happened to have all this hit you now? You didn't seem to be this bad a while back?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
it's all the time when i cannot cope with all the stress i made today. i was crying to my bf, and he helped me, but i had ot listen to him and conversation with his mother after so my head got full again. i hate being full in head. why could i not listen and trust them 3 years ago so they would call the right instance instead of sending me doing nothing about it, i need to open up again, i need this out, i want to be well, so i don't die while trying cause i cannot do the right other stuff.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
I just don't understand what exactly you mean by being full in the head
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
it's all full of thoughts i have made all the brain cells filled up, cause i know all the things there is to know, with exception of coping with it, i have researched every bit of info i can take, and it's not going out and then nothing goes back in. it's really my fault it got this far, cause i refuse stop thinking about it, cause i cannot deal with reality, and i cannot deal with being sick, i cannot deal with not knowing, i cannot deal with noone helping when i need it.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
What exactly are those thoughts?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
it's a safety mechanism to panic, and let it out. i need to know how to talk to someone to get the help i need tonight, if i don't get help i will not be wired right for 2 days. i cannot think straight at all for the time being. the memory is going out in a heartbeat. i dunno what is the thought, that's the problem. what do this look for you? how do i deal with them.i'm vulnerable sad and lonely from dealing with things i'm not suppose to deal with alone. i slept 3 hours every night cause the day hasn't enough hours to cope with it, and i cannot try cope with things all day when i can do something i wanna do. i depend on you to make me feel okay, cause i can wriet to you and then it's easier understand what you're saying.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
I still think you may have a manic problem as in manic/depression
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
why is that? how? i just tryu to navigate and tell people how i feel, and let them deal with it. cause i cannot make my life happen. i cannot be alone dealing with it cause i fear dying from not getting help. so call 113? or what do i do? i cannot keep waiting 3 months and this happens every night and i don't sleep and i dunno what i gonna do, everyone is in the way and dont' let me calm down. also my stomach is airy and has been for a week. do you get manic depressive just out of the blue? actually i'm afraid contacting them, cause i dunno what will happen, and they might not be taking me seriuos and then i'll feel worse. i don't wXXXXX XXXXXve alone anymore, i don't wXXXXX XXXXXve like this i want someone to take care of me.!
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
I think you had what sounded like manic episodes before. Listen, I can't really help you with this, as bad as it sounds, so yes you should call 113
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
thanks. but what can i say?
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
That you need help--can't cope, can't sleep, feel very bad
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
that i think i won't survive and i won't get my life back if i have to deal with this for any longer? and that 3 pains is feeling like it's gonna kill me for the last weeks. my treatment is all messed up cause noone knows what to do and don't care to help me at nights. and that i'm depressive, stressful and anxiety? I can't cope i cant trust anyone to help me, and i cannot sleep. i need help with my feeligns and organize them, as soon as possible so i don't ahve to deal with this now.sounds good? i don't listen to anyone anymore cause they cannot be with me when i need it. and i cannot workout cause my head is too full. and that i cannot communicate very good and i hate myself cause that's all i want and i don't know what i gonna do to live, if noone teaches me.noone is able to help but someone who can be professional and help me until we're done, i cannot deal with food and weight and workouts cause i want to be well and i don't want to get sicker. i don't want medications. i need someone to help fast:(
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
Sounds good--make the call
Dr. Chip, Doctor (MD)
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 22216
Experience: Over 20 yrs of Family Practice
Dr. Chip and other Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
ok they try relax me and said i should call in the morning after sleeping, since i didn't sleep much lately. and it's easier do somethign then, since psychiatrist not awake now. i just try put phone on and get something done with it tomorrow. do you think i need a list of what to deal with? i told them most what i said. thanks for helping put me through this.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 1 year ago.
OK--make the list and try to get some sleep for now

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