Hi there,Answers provided are for informational use only and do not confer patient-provider relationship. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will help you. I do admire your sense of humor. It's good to be able to get a smile out of the most outlandish problems life throws at us.
If hubby didn't notice any deep cut or serious bleeding when he was administering first aid, all you will need to so is clean gently (plain soap and water, rinsed well), pat dry and reapply the antibiotic ointment twice a day. It's a bad place to even think about any kind of a bandage, since that would just irritate the wound (and the situation) further.
If redness develops around the wound, or it won't stop bleeding, or you begin to get a yellowish discharge, then you will need to see a provider for oral antibiotics and a stronger topical. However, we'll hope that won't be necessary.
Wash and apply the bacitracin twice a day. A helpful garment is Depends. While usually worn for incontinence, they are also great for a wound that bleeds in an area you can't bandage. The newer designs fit closer, not like the older "adult diapers." While you can't get by with clingy knits over them, practically any fabric with a little body will work.
It is a rough place to have a tear for just the reason you stated. Just about any movement hurts. Do keep a close watch on it, since it is an area prone to infection. BTW, an ice bag may help with the bleeding as well as the pain. Twenty minutes at a time 3-4 times a day. Be sure the ice bag (a bag of frozen peas works well for this since it conforms to body contours) is wrapped in a washcloth or towel. Refreeze the peas inside another zip-lock bag and use over and over again, but do discard the bag of peas when you no longer need it. You don't really want to see those particular peas sitting on your dinner plate.