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Dr. Chip
Dr. Chip, Doctor (MD)
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 25283
Experience:  Over 20 yrs of Family Practice
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Im having really bad nightmares about the anal things my dad

Customer Question

Im having really bad nightmares about the anal things my dad did
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Health
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Are they waking you up?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
They did twice
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Well so long as for the most part if you sleep through the night then they don't actually disturb your sleep cycle. There's no way right now to stop them
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I dont sleep trough the night. After i wake up from a dream im up for a while
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
But you said that only happened twice. The other option would be to take a sleep med
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
It did but it takes forever to fall back to sleep
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
No real suggestions then.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Alrighty then. Ive tried melatonin
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Well Ambien CR or Restoril might work
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Alright. Is it ok to wait to talk to the psychiayrist about this? Or should i talk to my pcp
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
You could just tell your PCP that your dreams are waking you up--you don't have to go into details
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Do you think ot needs addressed before i see the psychiatrist
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
It would be best to talk to your therapist about it
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
How long can i go with little sleep
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Are you saying this is every night?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Pretty much. But even when im not having nightmares i still wake up a bunch of times
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Well with dreams it is Stage 5 sleep so at least you get to that point so the sleep isn't a total waste
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Ok
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Anything else?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
My heart feels flutterly
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
As in?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
It feels like rapid and like i dont know how to explain ir
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Well, what's your pulse rate and BP?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Pulse 115. Bp 93/59
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Well that isn't too rapid a pulse
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I know
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
So why did you ask about it?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Because it feels different
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Different really doesn't help me
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Ok
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
We're just chatting here again
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Why do you suppose my dad hated me so much that he would molest me?
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Why would it have to be a matter of hatred?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I dont know for sure. I guess i viewed it as punishment
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
No--it's a complicated thing but it can be from the perpetrator's own childhood trauma, low self esteem, doing what a man is supposed to do on a fairly defenseless easy target instead of mature women--lot's of possibilities--but it isn't out of hatred or as a punishment
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
The things my dad did wasnt normal
Behavior
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
I never said it was
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Maybe it was too embarrass me
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
I don't think it had anything to do with his picking you out for some reason--these people just do it and it has everything with them and nothing to do with the other person
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
If you say so
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
That really wasn't anything like a response
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I tell you what i think and you keep disagreeing so its kinda pointless for me to keep saying things
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
That's not the way to look at it--you just have a very hard time in topics like this being willing to consider that you might be looking at it the wrong way. In this case, you want to find some way to blame yourself and you just won't even consider stopping doing that.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
How is saying he did it to embarrass me blaming myself?
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Well you also mentioned punishment--both words imply that you feel you deserved to be punished or embarrassed
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
This is so frustrating
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
That too is really not much of a response--take your time and don't waste page space until you really have a lot more to say
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I know i shouldnt blame myself. I know that no matter what i did my dad shouldnt have done what he did. I know my dads actions were wrong. I know all of this and yet i still blame myself. Im not dumb so i dont know why im having a hard time with this
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
I has nothing to do with intelligence or being dumb but unless I'm wrong no one until now has been challenging your thoughts about this.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
No one really knew about the abuse from my dad for the longest time.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
I know but now it's time to work on that and stop the festering inside of you that's been going on for all these years.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I dont want to tell my therapist the exact details of what happened
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Well, if you don't want to get better and don't want to work on this, then so be it.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thats not what i said
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
No, but I already knew you don't want to do it so you didn't tell me anything new
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I wish my dad would have just killed me
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Understandable feeling but he didn't so it's time to move on
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I dont think you are being very understanding today
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Ho so--and be specific when you answer?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I feel like everything ive said you reply with things that make me feel like you are saying oh well get over it.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Not at all--I'm saying get over it by hunkering down and working on it. Move on means attack it, beat it, and move on.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Im sad. I feel like shutting down.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Shutting down?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I feel empty and im turning most things inwards and pushing people away. Like im ready to be done
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
So call your therapist and get in to see him
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Why? Why cant you help me
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Trying but I can't magically turn off that empty feeling
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
And you think my therapist can?
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
I can't overemphasize the importance of face to face therapy
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Why is the empty feeling getting worse?
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Depression feels like emptiness and it can get worse at times
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Nothing matters anymore
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
So what is it exactly that you want me to do here--and don't say IDK?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I want you to tell me what to do. I want you to makexme feel better
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
I told you I don't have a magic wand--at least call a friend
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I dont really have one that i would call
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
That, in my mind, says you basically don't have any friends
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Ya im just a loser. Ive tried telling you that
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
I think it's more likely that you do have friends but you're just too stubborn to call one of them
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I dont want them to worry about me
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Like I said--stubborn and I think there's some pride involved too
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
You just know everything dont you
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
No but you don't have to tell a friend exactly why you're feeling the way you do and that you just need to hear their voice and to talk a little. And a friend doesn't mind hearing that another friend is hurting
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
My friends at work already tell me they are worried. They say ive lost my spark
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
So call one of them.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
No
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Like I said--stubborn. OK--there really isn't anything more tonight I can do for you so try to get some sleep and I'll talk to you later
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Did i make you mad?
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
No--I really expected you to refuse to take my advice. Sorry to say this but by refusing to call a friend you basically are just feeling sorry for yourself and would rather just keep on feeling bad
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Your wrong.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Maybe so but I can't come up with a better reason for why you steadfastly refuse to do something as simple as calling up a friend and chatting for a few minutes. You say your friends are already worried about you so you tell me why you won't call one of them.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I dont like asking for help. Why cant i just talk to you
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
I said just talk to one of them--you don't have to ask for help, just for an ear. Talking to me is fine but I can't be there all the time and you can't just rely on me alone.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
But you are here most of the time. And i can rely soley on you
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Here we go with the yeah buts again. There's no need to choose to just rely on me--right now you need all the people on your team you can get.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Im sorry. Im sorry if ive disappointed you. I choose to rely on you because you are safe and not hurt me
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
So how exactly would a friend hurt you?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
A friend could repeat what i told them. A friend could lie.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
So we're back to saying you don't have any friends because that wouldn't be a friend
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Pretty much
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Then why do you refer to them as friends?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
They are my work friends. I dont have personal friends
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Why not and don't give me the loser refrain here?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Because i dont need friends.
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Then you're very unique in the world. And if you're so uniquely self sufficient, why can't you just fix yourself or at least get over all your troubles and not rely on the opinions of your family?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I think you. Are not being very nice
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
That's your standard comment. Maybe I was being a little sarcastic but I'm sure you got the point I was trying to make. And I got sarcastic because everyone needs friends--even you.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I know i need friends. My dreams are scary
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
I really don't have anything more I can say about or help you with with the dreams--proper give and take therapy works on that. Time for me to hit the hay so I'll talk to you later but, seriously, give a friend a jingle even if it's just to ask how they're doing.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I am sorry. Hope you are not disappointed in me
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Not disappointed at all--just trying to nudge you in the right direction
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I see my therapist today
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Good--work hard with him today and let me know how it goes. We need to close this page and remember about the rating every so often
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
One last question. How long does it take atenolol to work
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Usually it kicks in within 30 minutes to an hour
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
So if i took some of them at 330 this morning i should be fine?
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Some of them?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I was sad. And took like 6
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
I really didn't need to hear that. You need to call your doctor about it and we need to close the page
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
You asked
Expert:  Dr. Chip replied 2 years ago.
Yes but I didn't realize you meant that many--seriously, no more on this page

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Dr. Chip
Dr. Chip
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Over 20 yrs of Family Practice