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Susan Ivy
Susan Ivy, Nurse (RN)
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 4058
Experience:  BSN, MSN, CNS
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I try to think positively but I have been diagnosed with constant

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I try to think positively but I have been diagnosed with constant tortuous intrusive thoughts. My 2 adult children are in a mess. They are both adopted. The elder child, a son takes drugs, does not do a thing and blames me for everything about his life. He has a learning problem so no matter how many times I try to get him sto help himself he doesn't. He has no-one else but me. My daughter is about to have her 4th child. I am divorced from their father. He has nothing to do with my son. I grew up in an alcoholic fearful home myself where I always felt I had to care for mum. I also was born with heart problems. I have always tried to take care of everyone. I am so afraid every day my son will suicide and my 2 grandsons will grow up to be delinquents because my daughter is fighting for custody. I feel so overwhelmed, physically, mentally. Also I have to work all the time full time and I am now 58 with a leaking pulmonary valve (13% leakage). I want some peace. I try to trust God. There has never been anyone to help me.
I am sorry to hear about these problems, do you have any medical conditions or take any medication? Have you had any treatment?

I see that your question was originally posted in Mental Health, and has been dual categorized to Health. I am educated in both areas, but if your main concern is your heart condition, then it will be best for you to respond to doctor Brims.

Regarding your intrusive thoughts and worries about your family, there is support for you, and it is very important that you get this support.

There are caregiver support groups,as well as CODA groups (CODA is a support organization for those with family members with drug problems and besides giving you a place to discuss the problems, there is support, and you are given skills to learn the best way to deal with family member's addictions.

For right at the moment, I can give you a link that will provide some ideas on how to deal with caregiver burden, but also, if you would like to write back with the area of Australia that you reside, I could look for specific support groups for you.

This is the home page of a website that has info on helping those with addictions, prevention of suicide, caregivers stress, and more. Click on this LINK

For information on cargiving stress in particular, see this LINK

I also did find the page for CODA Australia. You can go here to look for support groups in your area. You will find people here with similar issues as you. CODA

Now, again, as I mentioned earlier, if your main concern is your heart or your medical condition, please respond to Dr Brims.

IF you would like more info or have questions for me, please do reply. If you are satisfied with my answer please do rate me positively, as this is the only way I receive the pay for my work.

If you would like further help though with your emotional stress issues, I'll be standing by to assist you. Again, please do not rate us until you have had your question answered to your satisfaction.

Thank you.
Susan Ivy, Nurse (RN)
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 4058
Experience: BSN, MSN, CNS
Susan Ivy and 4 other Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Any advice is great. It was practical advice. Not sure of Coda. I live in Brisbane, Qld, Aus. so I will try to see if there is a group. If not there is another one which may help me.

Thank you.