Thats OK. I can still try and help you. Latex and Vinyl condoms are impermeable (in the laboratory setting at least) to the HIV virus. If you used this type of condom, your risk level percentage is very close to being zero. There have been various studies done where one HIV infected person had protected sex with his NON HIV+ partner; the results have shown a "high degree of protection". Link to the CDC page here: http://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/latex.htm
But let us pretend for a moment that you were wearing a lambskin condom...they do not protect very well against STDs because the viruses and bacteria can go between the "pores" in the material. So, for the sake of the math here lets pretend she had HIV, and lets also pretend you were NOT wearing any condom at all.
If 10,000 HIV negative people had insertive oral sex with 10,000 HIV positive people, only 0.5 of that 10,000 would wind up with HIV. The reason is that saliva is not really considered a mode of transmission for the virus; the one receiving the oral sex has more of a risk because that one gets the sperm which is a mode of transmission.
And even then, that risk is low; 1 in 10,000, as above. Link to the chart I used is here: http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/rr5402a1.htm#tab1
As to your rashes and pains...I know you understand we can not diagnose, all we can offer here is an educated guess based on what you wrote. I asked what you did professionally because I am wondering if these rashes could be heat rashes. They are known for being rather transient in nature, and this is a brutally hot summer the USA is facing. Your achy muscles could be fibromyalgia, as you do have that, or you could be a bit dehydrated; many people don't drink enough fluids in the summer and can get heat sick, especially if outdoors, but without allot more information that is just a guess. If you do spend allot of time outdoors though it may be wise to talk to your doctor about a Lyme's disease test...Lyme's disease is a tick borne illness transmitted by the deer tick, and it can cause achy joints.
You can have a blood test to see if you have been exposed to the herpes simplex virus; if you have and it is there, you will have antibodies which the test will detect. Not everyone has outbreaks they can recognize; some peoples cases are very mild. Herpes Simplex 1 is a common virus which most adult Americans have.
Ive skimmed over your other questions....I think given your history of high risk encounters it would be wise to have HIV testing done periodically. But from what you wrote tonight to me, your risk is negligible, as the numbers above show.
And a chart about STDs and their signs and symptoms: http://www.fwhc.org/health/std.htm
I hope I was able to help,