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Dr.Chan, Physician
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 356
Experience:  Practicing Medicine and Surgery since 1992
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My husband recently discovered what was having and affair with

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My husband recently discovered what was having and affair with a man I've known as a long term friend. I admit we had been intimate on a few occasions over the past 2 years (4 or 5), but it was a primarily emotional connection. My husband can't forgive me although I have seen a counselor and have let go of the relationship. He is actually more disturbed by the few sexual encounters than by the fact that I was seeking emotional comfort with this man (as was he with me). Any ideas? We do have marriage counseling set up beginning next week.

I think that marriage counseling is a good positive first step for both. The fact that your husband is interested in going is a good thing. It means that he is wanting to work through this with you. Forgiveness will take more time. It may come, but will not be an immediate reaction.

Eventually, in the counseling sessions, you will get to the point about you needing to seek emotional comfort elsewhere. But this is not the time to hound this over him. You are guilty of sin. And pointing out to him that it may be partially his fault will not help the situation or help him come to forgiveness.

If you expect him to forgive you, you need to be humble and contrite and admit your faults to him.

I hope this helps. I will pray for you both.
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