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I am a virgin but I am ready to have sex with my boyfriend. We have tried on multiple ooccasions and it has been too painful everytime. Unfortunately the first two times we ever attempted sex I was not ready even though I believed I was, so now even though I am ready for this experience, i cannot get the idea of intense pain out of my mind. We have tried extra lubrication which hasn't helped. Recently we purchased Durex Desensitizing Lubricant for Men hoping that maybe it could be used to numb the pain, but I'm not sure if this is a wise decision. I would appreciate some advice with the situation. I feel mentally and emotionally ready, but my body isn't up to speed. I would be very appreciative if I could get help. thank you
Gender: Female
HiHow old are you?Dr Jef
I am 18 years old.
ThanksCan I ask what your "attitude" to sex is?Is it something that you feel comfortable about?Dr Jef
Yes I am very comfortable with it. I have refrained from intercourse with partners in the past because I did not feel emotionally prepared but my feelings have changed. Granted the pain from previous attempts has added a level of anxiety that I can't seem to shake. I have a lower tolerance for pain than usual so I am not completely surprised I am having this problem. But thankfully I have never been pressured by my boyfriend to have sex and he makes it clear that he will wait as long as I need.
OkSounds like you have vaginismus.......I'll post you a link about this.Dr Jefhttp://www.patient.co.uk/doctor/Vaginismus-and-Orgasmic-Problems-in-Women.htm
I have considered this, but it seemed very extreme for my case. When I consulted my doctor about this issue she told me that I should try to stretch my hymen out more. A friend of mine that is a nurse told me about a condition she has in which her hymen is thicker and she said there was a minor operation in which it could be clipped. Do either of these seem like possible solutions?
HiIf you have normal periods it is most unlikely that you have an imperforate hymen.Your symptoms are "textbook" vaginismus - there is really no other possible diagnosis.Dr Jef
Then what could i possibly do to improve this situation?
HiHave you read the link that I posted you?Dr Jef
Yes. i believe I should go to my doctor for an examination
HiThat is the most appropriate first step......Good luck.Dr Jef
Doctor (MD)
MBBS MRCGP