Way to be a great husband!!
Did you just find out she was smoking?
No. When we first dated (almost 10 yrs ago) I found out and made it clear I did not like it and would not and could not force myself to marry a smoker. We got married and had two children rather quickly which did force her to quit and probably took my mind off of it. However I did recently discover that it is more than just an occassional cig and she is up to almost a pack a day and only smokes in the car and never around me or at home. We have had some great discussions and I told her that it is the deceit that has hurt so bad and it feels as bad if not worse than if she had cheated on me! She really feels bad for this and wants to quit but we both also know that you "can't quit for someone else" but need to for yourself. I told her I don't want to be a nag and will do anything she needs to help. She is not moved by the "health reasons" to quit either. I just want to give he the best odds for success as I have researched and do understand the low sucess rate. she has tried to quit before...but not with me on board...or even knowing about it.
We have a great marriage and want to keep it that way. I don't want her to resent me.
Why doesn't she want to use the nicotene replacement products?
Here are some things you can tell your wife to do:
~List your reasons to quit and read them several
times a day.
~Wrap your cigarette pack with paper and
rubber bands. Each time you smoke, write
down the time of day, how you feel, and how
important that cigarette is to you on a scale of
1 to 5.
~Rewrap the pack.
~Keep reading your list of reasons and add to it
if you can.
~Don't carry matches, and keep your cigarettes
out of easy reach.
~Each day, try to smoke fewer cigarettes,
and try not to smoke the ones that aren't
~Set a target date to quit.
~Don't buy a new pack until you finish the one
~Try to stop for 48 hours at one time.
~Quit smoking completely. Throw out all
cigarettes and matches. Hide lighters
~Stay busy! Go to the movies, exercise, take
long walks, go bike riding.
~Avoid situations and "triggers" you relate
~Find healthy substitutes for smoking.
Try not to be upset if she has a relapse. It is hard to quit cold turkey.
Best Wishes to you and your wife,
Yes you don't want to buy them since she has quit cold turkey.
Some people get behavior modification therepy and others find hypnosis works.
You can read about those here:
Let me know if you need more info and I will help you.