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Macy RN
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Experience:  RN of 19 years.Experienced in ER, Critical Care, Surgery, Nutrition, Peds,OB/Gyn and Hospice.
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My wife has been smoke free for three days now. Today is the

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My wife has been smoke free for three days now. Today is the start of day four. I am her support staff. I have been trying very hard to keep her stress free. She is not quitting for health concerns but mainly because she has been a "closet smoker" and does not want to hide it from me and she does not like the way it makes her smell. She has smoked for about 10 years and was up to almost a pack a day and quit twice for pregnancies. but always started back up. She has tried quitting before but has always failed because more of the psychological reasons than the actual withdrawal symptoms and she says she does not want to use the nicotene replacement products. My question is what should I concentrate on for the next three days to two weeks to help give her the best chance of success?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Health
Expert:  Macy RN replied 8 years ago.



Way to be a great husband!!


Did you just find out she was smoking?



Customer: replied 8 years ago.

No. When we first dated (almost 10 yrs ago) I found out and made it clear I did not like it and would not and could not force myself to marry a smoker. We got married and had two children rather quickly which did force her to quit and probably took my mind off of it. However I did recently discover that it is more than just an occassional cig and she is up to almost a pack a day and only smokes in the car and never around me or at home. We have had some great discussions and I told her that it is the deceit that has hurt so bad and it feels as bad if not worse than if she had cheated on me! She really feels bad for this and wants to quit but we both also know that you "can't quit for someone else" but need to for yourself. I told her I don't want to be a nag and will do anything she needs to help. She is not moved by the "health reasons" to quit either. I just want to give he the best odds for success as I have researched and do understand the low sucess rate. she has tried to quit before...but not with me on board...or even knowing about it.

We have a great marriage and want to keep it that way. I don't want her to resent me.

Expert:  Macy RN replied 8 years ago.

Why doesn't she want to use the nicotene replacement products?


Expert:  Macy RN replied 8 years ago.

Here are some things you can tell your wife to do:


~List your reasons to quit and read them several

times a day.

~Wrap your cigarette pack with paper and

rubber bands. Each time you smoke, write

down the time of day, how you feel, and how

important that cigarette is to you on a scale of

1 to 5.


~Rewrap the pack.

~Keep reading your list of reasons and add to it

if you can.

~Don't carry matches, and keep your cigarettes

out of easy reach.


~Each day, try to smoke fewer cigarettes,

and try not to smoke the ones that aren't

most important.

~Set a target date to quit.


~Don't buy a new pack until you finish the one

you're smoking.


~Try to stop for 48 hours at one time.

~Quit smoking completely. Throw out all

cigarettes and matches. Hide lighters

and ashtrays.

~Stay busy! Go to the movies, exercise, take

long walks, go bike riding.

~Avoid situations and "triggers" you relate

with smoking.


~Find healthy substitutes for smoking.


Try not to be upset if she has a relapse. It is hard to quit cold turkey.


Best Wishes to you and your wife,





Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Her answer was that she can get thru the withdraw part and the first two weeks without it and she feels her biggest problem is not with the withdraw but instead with the "mental" part of the temptations after she has finished the withdraw phase
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
My original post was not detailed enough. She quit cold turkey and got rid of all cigs and lighters etc so the answer about wrapping the packs will not work because that would entail her purchasing more and we don't want to go there again.
Expert:  Macy RN replied 8 years ago.

Yes you don't want to buy them since she has quit cold turkey.


Some people get behavior modification therepy and others find hypnosis works.


You can read about those here:


Let me know if you need more info and I will help you.



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