My name isXXXXX and I am a psychiatrist who practices in New York. Let me start off by saying that you must be very frustrated. Let me share with you my thoughts and I would like to end off by asking you for more information.
There are times that mental health professionals appear not to be paying attention when people inflict harm onto themselves. This could occur when the mental health professionals believes that the patient is attention seeking or relieving emotional pain when they inflict the harm ( I am not saying that either applies to you, I am just giving possibilities for why they may not appearing to be much concerned when you hurt yourself in the past).
Now, it is quite interesting that you provide a picture that you are paranoid but you did not list schizophrenia or any other psychotic disorder as one of your diagnoses. However, that is no a contradiction as social phobia as well as other psychiatric disorders may have psychotic aspects as part of their presentation.
Now it is clear and obvious that you would benefit from medications and therapy. Concerning medications, I would recommend that you discuss the medication called lamictal with your psychiatrist. The rationale for this is that you may have the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and lamictal is used by psychiatrist to help patients with the urge of inflicting bruises on themselves. Concerning therapy, I think you should discuss with your psychiatrist having someone do a therapy called DBT with you. This therapy is very helpful for people who have urges do hurt themselves.
Let me end off by asking you some questions.
1. What medications are you taking now?
2. What did your suicide attempts consists of?
3. What medications have you tried in the past?
Best of luck,
I'm currently not on any medication. They say I don't need it. And no, I haven't had a diagnosis of schizophrenia, which is what I thought it was.
My suicide attempts were three overdoses (two combined with alcohol) and one drowning attempt.
They were/are genuine attempts and aren't attention seeking. Although yes, I agree with your point there.
I've been on Citalopram, Cymbalta and some other anti-depressant which I don't remember the name of.
So you think it sounds more like BPD than schizophrenia?
I really need a proper doagnosis and treatment. I'm afraid of trying to kill myself again and maybe succeeding next time. These voices nearly made me stab myself a few weeks ago, and it was all I could do to fight them off.
From what you descibed, it sounds like BPD. The reason being is that it appears who have very good insight of what you are experiencing and people with schizophrenia do not have such good insight with what they are experiencing. I think you should enetertain my recommendations and discuss with your pcychiatrist the options of lamictal and DBT.