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Lindie
Lindie, Healthcare Expert
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 5489
Experience:  17+ years, Healthcare Expert
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Husband watch wifes pelvic exam

Customer Question

I'm a mid 40's female due for my Annual exam, including my breast and pelvic exam. My husband usually accompanies me to my exam and is present in the exam room during my exams. I appreciate my husband's presence during the exams, and my GYN has always allowed my husband to be present. Usually my husband sits in a chair near the desk in the exam room during my exam.

This year, my husband would like to observe my pelvic exam. I don't mind if my husband watches. I know that I can have a mirror to watch my pelvic exam if I wish, and I have had med students observe my pelvic exam, so I can't see any reason that my husband could not watch. The exam room is large, so space is not an issue.

I am wondering if it would be highly unusual for my husband or I to ask my GYN if my husband could watch my pelvic exam from the foot end of the table? Is there any reason my husband could not stand near the foot end? Would this be allowed?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Health
Expert:  Lindie replied 7 years ago.

It's not unusual to ask. If you have a good doctor, and it sounds as if you do. Then you should feel comfortable asking. If he already allows your husband in the room (which some doctors don't even prefer that) then you should feel comfortable in asking your request. It's really not going to be any different than if a woman was having a baby etc.

If you are unsure of what your doctor's response would be, I would first ask the nurse, if she though the doctor would allow such a request. She will give you the heads up or explain why the doctor may not want to etc.

So this really just depends upon what the doctor is comfortable with etc. People are curious etc. that is why you yourself are offered a mirror.

Don't ever be afraid or embarrassed to ever ask anything. The worst thing that could occur is getting the answer no..

Hope this helps, If you need anything else please feel free to ask. If you found this helpful don't forget to click the *ACCEPT* button and please take a moment to leave me *POSITIVE* feedback.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you for your response - Yes, I do believe my GYN is good, and he has never had a problem with my husband's presence.

You suggest asking his nurse first. Usually the nurse takes my husband and I into the exam room, takes my vitals, history, etc and tells me to change. Then she leaves and my GYN comes in a few minutes later. GYN and I have small chat, then breast exam, then GYN flips switch for nurse to return to assist w/ pelvic exam. When his nurse returns, my pelvic exam begins.

I'm wondering why you recommend asking his nurse first? How about simply asking my GYN, "can my husband stand near the foot and watch" right before my pelvic exam begins - There would be time to ask when my GYN and his nurse are putting their gloves on. What do you think of this approach? I'd appreciate your thoughts on the "timing of" or when to ask if hubby can watch. Thanks!
Expert:  Lindie replied 7 years ago.

I suggested asking the nurse first due to getting her thoughts on how the doctor would respond to such a request. As she is with him daily and knows him very well. Plus I wasn't sure if you have a good GYN etc. (that was my reasoning on bring the subject up with the nurse) if nothing else, it allows you to get "the feel" for asking.

It may be more appropriate to request this during the "small chat and breast exam" by just simply stating that your husband would be interested in viewing the pelvic exam, so that he has a better understanding as to what actually occurs.

Example: Do you think it would be a problem if my husband views the pelvic exam this time, as he would like to get a better understanding as to what occurs. (or you can fill in the reasoning why your husband prefers this) However you end up wording the request, just keep is short and simple.

If your doctor is OK with this, then he will say Yes or if the answer is No, he should give a reason as to why not. However, I personally don't see a reason why he would say no to this. As he does sound like a professional and there is nothing wrong with this request.

I just talked to someone I use to work with that has been working in a OB/GYN office for several years now. This is a request that some couples do ask. The doctor there does allow it and even explains more in detail of what he is doing. So as you can see, it's not an unusual request.

 

 

Lindie, Healthcare Expert
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 5489
Experience: 17+ years, Healthcare Expert
Lindie and other Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Relist: I prefer a second opinion.
I greatly appreciate the 1st response I received. I JUST want to confirm from a 2nd source that my request is not highly unusual, or that it won't seem perverted.
Expert:  Nurse Annie replied 7 years ago.
Customer




I have worked in doctors' offices off and on over the years, and your request is not unusual at all. Typically a male doctor will also have female staff in the exam room while doing a pelvic exam, so this is not unsual. I don't see any problem with asking your doctor directly about letting your husband watch the exam up close, and it would definately not be out of the ordinary for a spouse to request this.

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