I am very sorry for your situation. Based on German law and European Court of Human Rights rulings, the situation is as follows:
1. Recordings: if she records you and then threatens or smears your name with the use of the recording, it is illegal, and may constitute the crime of blackmail, and at the very least it is a good reason for divorce and civil punitive damages. The only exception: if you were doing something illegal and she went straight to the police or court with the recording. Then she is allowed to do so. However, even in this case, she must not use the same recording for blackmail or to put it in public / to friends etc.;
2. Text messages: she is allowed to share them, in principle, with friends / family. She is not allowed to post them online or otherwise in public, if they would cause you an image harm. However, in this case, it is not a crime, but only a civil cause for simple damages, if you prove that her actions (posting the messages) were detrimental to your image / earnings etc.
Note that if you wish to pursue her for the crime of blackmail or violation of private life (for the recordings), you will need to take on a German local lawyer. The German police does not investigate intra-family actions like these unless there is a special "preliminary request" made by you (the idea is to show that you consider it grave enough to pursue the matter), and which can only be made with the help of an attorney (legal aid is available locally depending on your income).
I hope my answer was useful and look forward to your rating, which is essential to my activity.
Dr I L Vlad