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Ellen
Ellen, Consultant
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 109
Experience:  attorney and legal researcher
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For *******: could you edit my wording to make it more

Customer Question

For *******: could you edit my wording to make it more comprehensive and strong while being concise yet clear?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: General
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
There are three paragraphs that require re-wording as a third party, unbiased narrative.
Expert:  P. Simmons replied 1 year ago.

Hello! My name is ***** ***** I am a licensed attorney with more than 18 years of experience. I am here to assist you with your questions. Please understand that if I ask you for additional information, you are NOT charged again and our communications are NOT timed. So please see this as a relaxed conversation between friends. I am here to help

Also, if you would like to chat on the phone, let me know and I can make that happen.

Are you still looking for help on this?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Please download from this link.
http://www.mediafire.com/download/a1q0071d0ibqn79/ShivRewritingForWiki.docx
Expert:  P. Simmons replied 1 year ago.

Done. How can I help...what is it you want? Ideas on how to word this document?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
>.what is it you want?
Re-writing as a third party, unbiased narrative. Simple, smooth sentences as encyclopedic reference (examples; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beyond_Religion:_Ethics_for_a_Whole_World).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_in_Exile
Expert:  P. Simmons replied 1 year ago.

I sent the offer. If you accept we can work together to get the result you are looking for

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
On my unlimited account here I cannot accept offer. So whatever you have done, send me your doc file.
Expert:  P. Simmons replied 1 year ago.

Sorry...I can not work this for the limited amount you are paying. I will opt out and allow someone else to assist you

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am not paying any amount here. JA is paying. I never come to know what JA pays you.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
This new system introduced by JA prompting additional offer is really something. When I called JA to ask them not to allow additional offer on unlimited account, they told me not to worry; just decline the offer.
Expert:  Martin replied 1 year ago.

Hi. From my personal experience, writing that kind of description never end just like the customer want and i waste my time. For that reason i can offer you to pinpoint you some problems i see with that writting. After a few iteration you should be good to go. The first thing i can say right now is that it is that you are involved too much in the work as i feel by reading this that you want to convince me instead of inform me about the nature of the work. The convincing need to stay inside the book, not leak onto the description. The description is also too self referencing and too much "according to the author" (it lack a categorization to allow the reader to compare the work to other similar work).

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