CHER, I DON'T WANT A NEW READING. I JUST WANTED TO START A NEW THREAD. I TEXTED PERRY AGAIN, IT WAS 4 DAYS. I TOLD HIM I MISSED OUR FRIENDSHIP AND TO PLEASE, JUST LET ME KNOW WE CAN TALK. JUST KEEP IT LIGHT. WE COULD TALK ABOUT ANYTHING HE WANTED. STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM. I GUESS I WON'T I DON'T C US EVER TALKING AGAIN. I WISH I KNEW Y HE WAS SO MAD AT ME. DO U THINK HE IS THAT MAD AT ME HE JUST WROTE ME OFF OUT OF HIS LIFE? I HOPE NOT. HE DOESN'T EVEN PUT THINGS ON HIS FACEBOOK PAGE. THAT IS DEFINETLY NOT LIKE HIM. HE IS DOING ALL OF THIS BECAUSE OF ME. I HAVE JUST COME TO THE CONCLUSION HE WANTS ME OUT OF HIS LIFE ALTOGETHER AND I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT. WHAT DOES YOUR GIFT TELL U. IS HE DOING ALL OF THIS BECAUSE, HE WANTS ME OUT OF HIS LIFE.
CHER, R U THERE?
Hi Steph,I'm here. All of a sudden, things got very busy. I apologize for the wait.It's so hard to believe that he just won't answer you. If this is the way he's letting you know he wants you out of his life, it's pretty low of him. He owes you the courtesy of at least speaking to you and letting you know that he wants you out of his life and why. I don't believe he wants you out of his life but he doesn't know how to express what he really feels. I'm sorry to be a 'dog with a bone' (repeating! lol), but I still think you should mail him a handwritten or typed letter and tell him you don't understand his behavior at this point, and you really need an explanation of why he won't speak to you because after all your years of friendship, this behavior makes no sense whatsoever. You need to hear from HIM what you did that was so terrible that he will no longer speak to you and ask him outright if he wants you out of his life. If he says 'yes', although you won't believe it, you'll have to accept it. If he seems to have certain things to discuss with youlike the romantic interlude, etc.,this needs to be discussed. I truly do not believe you will never see him/speak to him again.Warmest regards,Cher
CHER, I'M AT A CROSSROADS WITH MY LIFE. I HAVE ALWAYS PLANNED OUT MY LIFE. SO, THIS IS HARD ON ME NOT TO KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. I MISS MY JOB A LOT. I WISH I STILL HAD IT. I KNOW THAT'S Y I HAVE A VOID IN ME. I KNOW I'M PROBABLY GOING TO HAVE TO MOVE AWAY FROM HERE. I'M TRYING TO CONVINCE LOUIE THAT IF HE IS FIRED HE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AS WELL. DO U C HIM GETTING FIRED AFTER THE SHOW AIRS? I HAVE FAMILY IN BILOXI, MS. I'M THINKING I MIGHT GO THERE. DO U C ME MOVING ANYWHERE? I FIGURE THE LAWSUIT WILL END NEXT MONTH. THEN, I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT. I WOULD LIKE TO GO BACK TO MINNESOTA AS WELL. I HATE NOT HAVING MY LIFE NOT PLANNED OUT FOR ME. WHAT DOES YOUR GIFT C ME DOING? I AGREE WITH THE LETTER. BUT, I WANT TO GIVE HIM HIS SPACE. I SAID, THE NICEST THINGS ON THE TEXT. SO I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS. I THINK HE IS STILL EMBARRESED ABOUT BEING GUN-SHY. I'M GLAD U C US TALKING SEEING EACH OTHER AGAIN. DO U C US ENDING OUR FRIENDSHIP? I WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE SURE THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN. IS HE ACTING LIKE SOMEONE WITH AN A.S. DISORDER. IS THIS WHAT THEY WOULD DO?
GOOD ADVICE. YOUR RIGHT ABOUT PERRY. HE SHOULD TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG. U SAY HE SHOULD TALK TO ME EVEN IF IT IS NOT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR. DO U THINK HE IS GOING TO XXXXX I DON'T WANT TO HEAR? WHAT DOES YOUR GIFT THINK? MOVING TO MS WOULD PROBABLY BE MY 1ST CHOICE. MORE CASINOS TO CHOOSE FROM. IF LOUIE KEEPS HIS JOB I WILL STAY HERE. IF PERRY AND I WORK THIS OUT THEN, I WOULD GO TO MN. BUT, I DON'T C THAT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON. PLUS, I WOULD NOT MOVE TO MN IN THE WINTER TIME. I WOULD WAIT UNTIL LATE SPRING TO MOVE THERE. I DO BELIEVE THIS CASE WILL SETTLE IN NOVEMBER. THEN I WILL HAVE OPTIONS TO CHOOSE FROM. I WILL KEEP LIVING DAY BY DAY. BUT, IF THIS SETTLES THEN, I WILL START MAKING DECISIONS WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE. I WANTED TO TAKE THIS MONEY AND BUY A DIFFERENT HOUSE IN NAPLES. BUT, NOW WITH PERRY I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. I WANT TO BE FLEXIBLE.R U PRETTY CONFIDENT ON PERRY AND I TALKING AGAIN? Y IS HE DOING THIS WITH HIS FACEBOOK? I DON'T GET THAT. I HAVE NEVER BOTHERED HIM ON IT. I DO AGREE ONLY SOMEONE WITH A DISORDER WOULD ACT LIKE THIS. DO U C US STAYING IN EACH OTHERS LIVES? OR DO U C HIM TELLING ME HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN? DO U C ME MOVING THERE NEXT SUMMER. I WOULD IF HE GETS BACK TALKING TO ME AGAIN?
CHER, THERE R CASINOS IN MN. THAT'S WHERE I STARTED OUT AT. THAT'S HOW I MET LOUIE. I WOULD GO BACK TO A CASINO JOB THERE. PROBABLY DEALING POKER AGAIN. YES, I WANT TO DO THE SECURITY JOB. WELL, IF I HAVE TO WORK OUTSIDE OF THE CASINO INDUSTRY. THE CLASS WAS NOT FILLED WITH ENOUGH STUDENTS SO THEY RE-SCHEDULED. MOVING TO MN I WILL HAVE OPTIONS AS WELL. Y DO U THINK PERRY FELL INTO A DEPRESSION? I THINK HE IS ONLY DOING THIS TO NOT LET ME C WHAT HE IS DOING. NOT PUTTING IT ON FACEBOOK. Y IS TAKING THINGS DOWN ON HIS FACEBOOK PAGE HOW IS THAT DEALING WITH DEPRESSION? I DON'T GET THAT. I WILL DO THE SECURITY SCHOOL. BUT, IN MN THERE R NOT THAT MANY GATED COMMUNITIES. U SAY IF I START TALKING TO PERRY AGAIN DO U THINK WE WON'T?
CHER, I RATED U EXCELLENT AS ALWAYS! YES, THERE R OTHER SCHOOLS. BUT, THIS ONE WAS CLOSE TO HOME AND THE HOURS WERE GREAT. I WILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT A COUPLE MORE WEEKS. HE TOOK HIS PICTURE DOWN OFF OF HIS PAGE SO I COULDN'T C IT. HE TOLD ME THAT IS HOW HE FEEL IN LOVE WITH ME BY LOOKING AT MY PICTURE.I"M SURE THAT'S Y IT'S DOWN. THAT'S Y I'M NOT SURE IF IT IS DEPRESSION OR JUST WANTING ME TO KNOW HIS LIFE. I HOPE HE REALIZES HOW THAT WE WERE A;WAYS GREAT FRIENDS AND DOESN'T THROW THAT AWAY. DO U C ME REALLY HAPPY BY SPRING?
I BELIEVE HE TOOK HIS OWN PICTURE DOWN OFF HIS FACEBOOK PAGE SO I COULDN'T LOOK AT IT. HE TOOK IT DOWN SHORTLY AFTER I CAME BACK FROM.MN. I BELIEVE HE WAS THINKING WELL, U HAVE NOTHING TO LOOK AT NOW. FOR HIM A WAY TO PUNISH ME. IF U UN-FRIEND A PERSON U CAN STILL C THEIR PAGE. IF U BLOCK THEM U CAN'T. THIS WAY HE CAN C MY PAGE AS WELL. I'M NOT SURE Y HE TOOK THE PICTURE DOWN. BUT, IT WAS TO COINCEDTAL THAT HE REMOVED IT WHEN ALL OF THIS STARTED. I'M GLAD U SAW ME HAPPY THIS SPRING. I DO BELIEVE THIS LAWSUIT WILL END NEXT MONTH. DOES YOUR GIFT THINK SO TO? I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO TALK T PERRY BY SPRING. DO U C THAT HAPPENING?
CHER, I THOUGHT I TOLD U I DID CONTACT PAUL. I DID LAST WEEK ON FACEBOOK. HE DID GET RIGHT BACK TO ME SAYING THAT PERRY IS REALLY BUSY. THAT EVEN HE HASN'T HEARD OR SEEN HIM. I TOLD HIM PLEASE, DO NOT TELL HIM I CONTACTED U. THAT PERRY WOULD GET MAD AT THAT. I SAID, WE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR OVER 25 YEARS AND HE HAS NEVER ACTED LIKE THIS BEFORE. I FIGURED IT COULDN'T MAKE THINGS WORSE. EVEN THOUGH HE IS REALLY BUSY, HE WOULD ALWAYS GET BACK TO ME. EVEN IF IT WAS JUST TO SAY, I CAN'T TALK I WILL CALL U AS SOON AS I CAN. HE HAS NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. I KNOW HE TOOK THAT PICTURE DOWN BECAUSE, OF ME. HE WOULD DO THAT. THAT WAS HIS WAY OF SAYING U CAN'T LOOK AT ME. I FEEL IT WAS HIS WAY OF ENDING OUR FRIENDSHIP. IF A.S. PEOPLE LIVE IN FEAR THEN I DOUBT HE HAS THE GUTS TO TELL ME HIMSELF THAT HE WANTS NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH ME. SO, THIS IS HIS WAY OF ENDING THE FRIENDSHIP. IF I SAW HIM IN PERSON HE WOULD SAY, STEPH, I UNFRIENDED U FOR A REASON. THEN, I, WOULD SAY, NO, U DON'T HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR THAT. I APPOLIGIZED FOR ANYTHING I DID WRONG. I'M NOT SURE IF PAUL TOLD PERRY ABOUT THE FACEBOOK THING. BUT, I HOPE NOT. I TOLD PAUL THANK U. FOR GETTING BACK TO ME RIGHT AWAY. SO, NOW WE KNOW HE IS REALLY BUSY. BUT THAT NEVER STOPPED HIM BEFORE. HE IS DOING ALL OF THIS ON PUORPOSE. BUT, I HAVE DONE ALL I CAN DO. HOPEFULLY, THINGS WILL WORKOUT. THE DIVORCE MIGHT NOT BE DONE BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH. LOUIE STILL WANTS TO STAY MARRIED. I DO LOVE HIM. BUT, I'M IN LOVE WITH PERRY. I READ SOMEWHERE THAT PEOPLE WITH A.S. WILL LOVE U 100 TIMES MORE THAN AN NT. IF THAT'S TRUE, THEN WOULDN'T PERRY'S FEELINGS FOR ME STILL BE REALLY STRONG? DOES YOUR GIFT C ME HAVING TO FINISH THE DIVORCE BECAUSE, I WILL GO TO MN TO BE WITH PERRY? I'M NOT WORKING ON MY MARRIAGE. I WANT TO JUST TALK TO PERRY AND C WHERE THIS GOES.
I WAS TALKING TO MY COUSIN THIS MORNING ABOUT PERRY. BOTH OF HER DAUGHTERS HAVE A.S. SO. SHE GETS THE DISORDER. SHE SAID, PERRY WANTS A RELATIONSHIP JUST NOT WITH ME. BUT, IT'S HIM NOT ME. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? SHE SAID, SHE THINKS HE IS STILL EMBARESSED. BUT, I DO FEEL REJECTED BY HIM. DO U THINK HE WANTS ME OUT OF HIS LIFE FRO GOOD? SHE SAYS WITH HIS DISORDER WHEN THEY CHOOSE TO CUT U OUT OF THEIR LIFE THEY R DONE WITH U. DO U STILL THINK HIM AND I WILL WORK THIS OUT. DO U THINK HE STILL THINKS OF ME? I MEAN IN A GOOD WAY.
Hi Steph, I've been telling you for a while now, that it's him, not you. It's very possible that he was so embarrassed, speaking to you or seeing you again, will bring that incident back to his mind and he wants to forget it. With a friend for a couple of years, I could see him cutting them completely out of his life; considering your long-term friendship, I can't see this happening. However, it is certainly a possibility. I do think he still thinks of you (in a good way) and misses speaking to you, but can't bring himself to speak to you due to this embarrassment. I think you've done everything you can do for now and perhaps it would be a good time to just stop trying to communicate with him and see how things play out on their own. You've gone long periods of time without speaking before (you've told me), so, maybe as time passes, he'll feel less embarrassed and want to speak to you again. Besides going there in person to face him and tell him how you feel and make him tell you how HE feels, there is no other way to get him to talk to you, after everything you've already done/tried. His disorder is holding him back from doing anything right now. So, put that on the back burner and concentrate on the important things going on in your life, now.I would appreciate it if you could please rate each answer I send you and if you are not able to, please start a new question for me. Thanks very much!Warmest regards,Cher
THANKS, I JUST TRIED TO RATE U AGAIN, I'M USING MY PAY PAL SO I NEED TO GET THE PASSWORD FROM LOUIE. I WAS OUT WITH MY FRIEND DEB. SHE DOESN'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE PERRY AND ME SITUATION. I TOLD HER ABOUT IT. RIGHT AWAY SHE SAID, THIS IS SOMETHING THAT WILL HAVE TO BE DISCUSSED IN PERSON. SHE THOUGHT THE EMBARRESMENT THING IS TO HARD ON HIM. I TOLD HER I PLAY IT SAFE IN LIFE. I WOULD TAKE THIS AS A SIGN FROM GOD THAT HE DOESN'T WANT ME WITH PERRY. THAT IN MY LIFE IF IT COMES HARD TO GET SOMETHING GOD DOES NOT WANT ME TO HAVE IT. DEB SAID, SHE UNFRIENDS PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK ALL THE TIME. I SAID, Y THAT IS CRAZY. SHE SAID, CONTROL. SHE SAID, SHE LETS A COUPLE MONTHS GO BY THEN SHE TAKES THEM BACK AS FRIENDS. I GUESS PERRY DOES HAVE CONTROL. I KNOW HE LIKES THIS. SHE AGREED THAT IT WAS A VERY JUVENILE THING TO DO. SHE DID LIKE THE FACT I'M SUPPOSED TO TEXT HIM EVERY 4 DAYS THAT I MISS MY FRIEND. SHE THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD WAY OF LETTING HIM KNOW I WILL BE HERE FOR HIM. U AGREE WITH ME THAT HE WANTS A RELATIONSHIP BUT, JUST NOT WITH ME. DEB SAID, THAT IF I GO THERE I CAN'T LEAVE BECAUSE, HE WILL DO THIS AGAIN. I THINK IT'S GREAT I CAN TALK TO A FRIEND AND SHE SAYS, THE SAME THING U DO. I DIDN'T TELL HER ABOUT WHAT U SAID. DEB WOULD GO BACK TO MN IN A MINUTE FOR LOVE. I'M SCARED TO GO THERE BUT, I WILL. I HOPE R DOING WELL. I KNOW I HAVE TO GO THERE AND TELL HIM I'M THERE I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. DO U THINK IT MAKES ME SEEM DESPERATE TO GO THERE AND TELL HIM I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE? DO U THINK HE WILL THINK I'M DESPERATE? BECAUSE, I CAN'T HAVE HIM THINK THAT OF ME.
R U THERE?
R U STILL WORKING?
GOOD ADVICE! NO WONDER YOUR A GREAT MOM. IT'S HARD TO IMAGINE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE WITH HIM ALL THE TIME, BECAUSE, I KNOW I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG FOR HIM TO ACT LIKE THIS. I LIKE THAT U THINK I CAN'T BE CONTROLLED, YOUR RIGHT. BUT, I'M PRETTY EASY GOING, AS LONG AS I COULD TALK TO HIM TO FIX THINGS IT WOULD BE O.K. I WOULD PLAN ON GOING THERE TO STAY FOR AWHILE. THAT'S Y I WOULDN'T GO UNTIL SPRING. THEN SAMUEL COULD SPEND TIME THERE AS WELL. RIGHT NOW I ONLY THINK ABOUT GOING THERE TO GET OUR FRIENDSHIP BACK. IF HE WANT'S ME TO STAY I WILL. I GUESS THE LAWSUIT WILL BE DONE. I WILL HAVE MONEY TO COME AND GO. I WOULD GO INTO THIS KNOWING THAT I WOULD TAKE IT DAY BY DAY. HE WOULD HAVE TO BE THE PERSON I HAVE KNOWN FOR 27 YEARS. NOT THIS PERSON. BUT, MY LIFE WOULD FIT UP THERE. I WOULD GO BACK TO THE CASINO AND WORK, PT IS ALL. I HAVE FRIENDS AND FAMILY THERE. I JUST WANT THE CHANCE TO TRY THIS OUT WITH HIM. I'M AFRAID I BLEW IT ALREADY. DO U THINK HE WILL GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE? I KNOW HE IS SCARED. BUT, WHEN HE LOVES U I KNOW THAT IT IS REALLY STRONG. HE JUST CAN'T REALLY SHOW IT. BUT, I CAN FEEL IT. SAMUEL WILL ALWAYS COME FIRST. I WILL COME AND GO AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE FOR HIM AND LOUIE. I THINK I WOULD BE THE BEST PERSON FOR HIM. DO U THINK HE KNOWS THAT?
I WAS READING ABOUT LACK OF EMPATHY. IT SAID, THEY HAVE NO SELF-WORTH OR NO SELF- LOVE AND THEY CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW U FEEL. SO, PERRY CAN'T UNDERSTAND Y I FEEL LIKE I FEEL. IT SAID THAT'S Y IT IS SO HARD FOR THEM TO HAVE RELATIONSHIPS. I GET IT NOW. HE HAS SUCH A LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND IS SCARED OF ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP IT MAKES SINCE TO IGNORE ME. I WILL PROBABLY GO BY MYSELF THIS SPRING. I'M GOING TO GET MY FRIENDSHIP BACK. THEN, I WILL GO FROM THERE. I WILL
THIS WENT THRU AND I WASN'T DONE. I WILL TELL HIM I'M COMING BACK. I WILL SHOW HIM I'M COMING BACK WHEN I BOOK MY TICKET. OR IF HE WANTS ME TO STAY I WILL HAVE TO DRIVE BACK SO I HAVE MY CAR WHEN I GO TO MN. THAT'S MY PLAN. GO SAVE OUR FRIENDSHIP. THEN COME BACK TO BE WITH HIM. BUT, I KNOW WHEN I GO GET MY FRIENDSHIP BACK I CAN'T PUT ANY STRESS ON HIM. SO, I WILL TELL HIM I'M COMING BACK TO BE HERE. I KNOW THAT I WILL HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO MAKE THIS RELATIONSHIP WORK AT THE BEGINNING. I WILL HAVE TO SHOW HIM I'M HERE.
R U STILL UP?
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I WILL RATE U ON THIS QUESTION. LOUIE WORKS NIGHTS, SO,I HAVE TO WAIT FOR HIM TO DOT HOME. I WILL ALSO, START A NEW QUESTION TOMORROW ON A NEW THREAD. I'M JUST SCARED HE WILL NOT TALK TO ME WHEN I'M THERE. I KNOW WHEN I TALK TO HIM I CAN KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO HIS HEAD. DO U C HIM TALKING TO ME? I WON'T SAY MUCH, JUST LETS FORGET ALL THIS AND MOVE ON. DOES YOUR GIFT C HIM TALKING TO ME?
THEY HAD TO MOVE LOUIE TO NIGHTS AFTER ALL THIS HAPPENED. THEY FIRED HER HUSBAND AND ME THEN THEY SEPERATED THEM. BUT, THEY DID NOTHING WRONG REMEMBER? THE COMPANY WONT ALLOW THEM TO BE ON THE PROPERTY TOGETHER. BUT, THEY DID NOTHING WRONG. SO, IF UPPER MANAGEMENT NEEDS VACATION DAYS AND SHE COULD FILL IN FOR THEM SHE CANT DO IT. THE ONLY WAY SHE CAN DO IT IS IF IT'S LOUIE'S OFF DAYS. OTHERWISE, THEY HAVE TO MOVE OTHER EMPLOYEES AROUND TO ACCOMODATE VACATION TIME. NOW, HOW DOES A COMPANY EXPLAIN THAT THEY HAVE TO GO THRU ALL THIS TROUBLE BUT, THEY DID NOTHING WRONG. U C IT EFFECTS A LOT OF OTHER EMPLOYEES EVEN 2 YEARS LATER. WHEN THIS AFFAIR WAS GOING ON THEY HAD TO MOVE EMPLOYEES AROUND TO ACCOMODATE PULLING LOUIE OFF THE CASINO FLOOR. I HAVE LOTS OF WITNESSES THAT WILL TESTIFY ON MY BEHALF OF WHAT SHE DID TO HAVE ALONE TIME WITH LOUIE. ALSO, IT EFFECTS OUR FAMILY LIFE BECAUSE, THEY WILL NEVER TAKE HER OFF DAYS. THEY LOVE HER SHE HAS SLEPT WITH HER BOSS. THIS IS SO SICK. I HOPE SOME GOOD COMES OUT OF ALL OF THIS. DO U THINK THAT WITH ME GOING ON NATIONAL T.V. THIS WILL STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING TO SOMEONE ELSE? I HOPE SO. DO U THINK PERRY WILL EVER WATCH THE INTERVIEW? DO U THINK I WILL EVER BE ABLE TO SHOW HIM THE INTERVIEW? IF HE EVER WATCHES IT DO U THINK HE WILL HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR ME? I MEAN WILL HE GET I'M A FIGHTER. OR JUST THINK I'M A LOSER?
R U THERE.
THANKS, FOR HAVING SUCH NICE WORDS TO SAY TO ME. BUT, THIS IS THE TYPE OF PERSON THEY WANT TO WORK FOR THEM. BUT, I HAVE NO INTEGRITY. SO,THEY FIRED ME AND HER HUSBAND. WHAT A COMPANY. I BET EVEN AFTER THIS IS ALL DONE THEY STILL DON'T FIRE HER. AT LEAST THE GUESTS AND THE EMPLOYEES WILL KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT THEY DID. HOW DO U THINK PERRY WILL C THIS INTERVIEW? IF I DON'T TALK TO HIM HOW WILL HE EVER KNOW TO WATCH IT? DO U THINK HE WILL EVENTUALLY TALK TO ME? DO U THINK HE WILL ASK ME TO MAIL IT TO HIM? DO U C ME TRYING THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM? PLUS, BEING HAPPY.
CHER, I STARTED A NEW QUESTION FOR U ON AN NEW THREAD. HOW R U? I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW TOMORROW HOW DO U THINK IT WILL GO?