How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Cher Your Own Question

Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18582
Experience:  M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Type Your Question Here...
Cher is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

CHER, I NEED A NEW READING.

Customer Question

CHER, I NEED A NEW READING.
Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Cher replied 9 months ago.
Hi again, Steph and thanks for requesting me.

I will be happy to do a new reading for you, but as you know, this takes a bit of time, so I will post back when the reading is completed.

Can you please list the information you would like to get from the reading?

Thanks,
Cher
Customer: replied 9 months ago.

CHER, I DON'T WANT A NEW READING. I JUST WANTED TO START A NEW THREAD. I TEXTED PERRY AGAIN, IT WAS 4 DAYS. I TOLD HIM I MISSED OUR FRIENDSHIP AND TO PLEASE, JUST LET ME KNOW WE CAN TALK. JUST KEEP IT LIGHT. WE COULD TALK ABOUT ANYTHING HE WANTED. STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM. I GUESS I WON'T I DON'T C US EVER TALKING AGAIN. I WISH I KNEW Y HE WAS SO MAD AT ME. DO U THINK HE IS THAT MAD AT ME HE JUST WROTE ME OFF OUT OF HIS LIFE? I HOPE NOT. HE DOESN'T EVEN PUT THINGS ON HIS FACEBOOK PAGE. THAT IS DEFINETLY NOT LIKE HIM. HE IS DOING ALL OF THIS BECAUSE OF ME. I HAVE JUST COME TO THE CONCLUSION HE WANTS ME OUT OF HIS LIFE ALTOGETHER AND I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT. WHAT DOES YOUR GIFT TELL U. IS HE DOING ALL OF THIS BECAUSE, HE WANTS ME OUT OF HIS LIFE.

Customer: replied 9 months ago.

CHER, R U THERE?

Expert:  Cher replied 9 months ago.

Hi Steph,

I'm here. All of a sudden, things got very busy. I apologize for the wait.

It's so hard to believe that he just won't answer you. If this is the way he's letting you know he wants you out of his life, it's pretty low of him. He owes you the courtesy of at least speaking to you and letting you know that he wants you out of his life and why.

I don't believe he wants you out of his life but he doesn't know how to express what he really feels. I'm sorry to be a 'dog with a bone' (repeating! lol), but I still think you should mail him a handwritten or typed letter and tell him you don't understand his behavior at this point, and you really need an explanation of why he won't speak to you because after all your years of friendship, this behavior makes no sense whatsoever. You need to hear from HIM what you did that was so terrible that he will no longer speak to you and ask him outright if he wants you out of his life. If he says 'yes', although you won't believe it, you'll have to accept it. If he seems to have certain things to discuss with you
like the romantic interlude, etc.,this needs to be discussed.

I truly do not believe you will never see him/speak to him again.

Warmest regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 9 months ago.

CHER, I'M AT A CROSSROADS WITH MY LIFE. I HAVE ALWAYS PLANNED OUT MY LIFE. SO, THIS IS HARD ON ME NOT TO KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. I MISS MY JOB A LOT. I WISH I STILL HAD IT. I KNOW THAT'S Y I HAVE A VOID IN ME. I KNOW I'M PROBABLY GOING TO HAVE TO MOVE AWAY FROM HERE. I'M TRYING TO CONVINCE LOUIE THAT IF HE IS FIRED HE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AS WELL. DO U C HIM GETTING FIRED AFTER THE SHOW AIRS? I HAVE FAMILY IN BILOXI, MS. I'M THINKING I MIGHT GO THERE. DO U C ME MOVING ANYWHERE? I FIGURE THE LAWSUIT WILL END NEXT MONTH. THEN, I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT. I WOULD LIKE TO GO BACK TO MINNESOTA AS WELL. I HATE NOT HAVING MY LIFE NOT PLANNED OUT FOR ME. WHAT DOES YOUR GIFT C ME DOING? I AGREE WITH THE LETTER. BUT, I WANT TO GIVE HIM HIS SPACE. I SAID, THE NICEST THINGS ON THE TEXT. SO I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS. I THINK HE IS STILL EMBARRESED ABOUT BEING GUN-SHY. I'M GLAD U C US TALKING SEEING EACH OTHER AGAIN. DO U C US ENDING OUR FRIENDSHIP? I WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE SURE THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN. IS HE ACTING LIKE SOMEONE WITH AN A.S. DISORDER. IS THIS WHAT THEY WOULD DO?

Expert:  Cher replied 9 months ago.
Hi Steph,

I understand completely, how you feel. After losing your job and under such horrible circumstances, you do have a void to fill and it's been so difficult for you, with everything else going on. I agree that after all is over, you would feel better no longer living where you are and the desire to make a move is very understandable.

I see a possibility that Louie may lose his job after the press airs and the mediation and/or trial takes place, but since it was not he who started this whole thing, but his boss, SHE should lose her job and they might keep Louie on. However, he did violate company policy by doing what he did with the texts, etc. Actually, if he does lose his job and you are victorious in your lawsuit, he could sue as well! He was sexually harrassed by his boss.

Where do you think you'd be happier? MS or MN? You have friends/family in both places. Right now, you might be leaning towards MN because Perry is there, but if he's mad at you for 'something', you might or might not want to move there. I feel he's definitely acting like someone with A.S. People without disorders do not act like this. He should at least give you an answer, even if it's not the one you want to hear.

I understand you planning out your life, which is a very smart thing, but unexpected things happen and your plan can't always be realized, so, then you change your plan. At this particular point, I don't think you should think past tomorrow, re: moving or anything else, until you know what's going to happen with the settlement, divorce, Perry, etc.

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 9 months ago.

GOOD ADVICE. YOUR RIGHT ABOUT PERRY. HE SHOULD TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG. U SAY HE SHOULD TALK TO ME EVEN IF IT IS NOT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR. DO U THINK HE IS GOING TO XXXXX I DON'T WANT TO HEAR? WHAT DOES YOUR GIFT THINK? MOVING TO MS WOULD PROBABLY BE MY 1ST CHOICE. MORE CASINOS TO CHOOSE FROM. IF LOUIE KEEPS HIS JOB I WILL STAY HERE. IF PERRY AND I WORK THIS OUT THEN, I WOULD GO TO MN. BUT, I DON'T C THAT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON. PLUS, I WOULD NOT MOVE TO MN IN THE WINTER TIME. I WOULD WAIT UNTIL LATE SPRING TO MOVE THERE. I DO BELIEVE THIS CASE WILL SETTLE IN NOVEMBER. THEN I WILL HAVE OPTIONS TO CHOOSE FROM. I WILL KEEP LIVING DAY BY DAY. BUT, IF THIS SETTLES THEN, I WILL START MAKING DECISIONS WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE. I WANTED TO TAKE THIS MONEY AND BUY A DIFFERENT HOUSE IN NAPLES. BUT, NOW WITH PERRY I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. I WANT TO BE FLEXIBLE.R U PRETTY CONFIDENT ON PERRY AND I TALKING AGAIN? Y IS HE DOING THIS WITH HIS FACEBOOK? I DON'T GET THAT. I HAVE NEVER BOTHERED HIM ON IT. I DO AGREE ONLY SOMEONE WITH A DISORDER WOULD ACT LIKE THIS. DO U C US STAYING IN EACH OTHERS LIVES? OR DO U C HIM TELLING ME HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN? DO U C ME MOVING THERE NEXT SUMMER. I WOULD IF HE GETS BACK TALKING TO ME AGAIN?

Expert:  Cher replied 9 months ago.
Hi again, Steph.

Regarding Perry, I think he might tell you something you don't want to hear, but he will not mean it. You will continue to ask him and speak to him and really get him to say what you want to hear. I don't think you will ever be out of each other's lives forever. However, it might take a while for him to get his act together and speak to you again. If you worked things out and planned to move to MN, I agree, you would have to wait until next Spring.

I agree that MS would be your first and best choice, because there are more casinos there. If you would consider moving to MN, you know there aren't any casino jobs for you and this is what makes you most happy. It's what you know, have experience at, and love to do.

I feel Perry is doing this with his FB because he is in a deep depression and is withdrawing from the world. Not you, only, but from other friends, too. It's related to his disorder. He's doing the regular daily things, like working, taking care of Chloe, etc., because he has to, but I don't feel his life is very happy right now. Taking down the FB things is one part of him coping with this depression.

If you and he get back to talking again, it's possible that you could be moving there next summer. I think you'd be happy there, except for the fact that you wouldn't be doing a job of your first choice--in a casino.

Whatever happened with the school bus job and the security guard school? It seems you've investigated so many different types of jobs but you hadn't told me the end result with those. We had discussed you could do those anywhere (well, you said there aren't many gated communities in MN), so if you should move there, what kind of job would you do if you can't work in a casino?

Please remember to Rate my answer so I can receive credit. Thanks very much!

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 9 months ago.

CHER, THERE R CASINOS IN MN. THAT'S WHERE I STARTED OUT AT. THAT'S HOW I MET LOUIE. I WOULD GO BACK TO A CASINO JOB THERE. PROBABLY DEALING POKER AGAIN. YES, I WANT TO DO THE SECURITY JOB. WELL, IF I HAVE TO WORK OUTSIDE OF THE CASINO INDUSTRY. THE CLASS WAS NOT FILLED WITH ENOUGH STUDENTS SO THEY RE-SCHEDULED. MOVING TO MN I WILL HAVE OPTIONS AS WELL. Y DO U THINK PERRY FELL INTO A DEPRESSION? I THINK HE IS ONLY DOING THIS TO NOT LET ME C WHAT HE IS DOING. NOT PUTTING IT ON FACEBOOK. Y IS TAKING THINGS DOWN ON HIS FACEBOOK PAGE HOW IS THAT DEALING WITH DEPRESSION? I DON'T GET THAT. I WILL DO THE SECURITY SCHOOL. BUT, IN MN THERE R NOT THAT MANY GATED COMMUNITIES. U SAY IF I START TALKING TO PERRY AGAIN DO U THINK WE WON'T?

Expert:  Cher replied 9 months ago.
Hi again, Steph.

Sorry, I must've been thinking about the security guard job instead of the casino jobs not being plentiful in MN. Oh, that's too bad that not enough people signed up for the class and you have to wait to start attending the school. Can you check out other schools in the area that may be starting classes now?

I think Perry fell into a depression after you left and it was exacerbated by his friends making fun of his lawn. He takes these things to heart and can't let it roll off his back like a person without a disorder. I think if he didn't want you to see what he was doing, he'd block you completely from seeing his FB page. You said he took down his own picture from his FB page. Why would he do this? It's part of the depression; he doesn't want anyone to see him. He's 'hiding' from the world; that's a sign of depression.

I said 'if' you start talking to him again, because it's not that I think you won't, it's that it might take a while for him to straighten himself out. He doesn't realize what a good friend he may have lost if he doesn't communicate with you. He has a lot on his mind and may not want to speak to any friend about it, because he's embarrassed and in a funk.

Warmest regards,
Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18582
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 101 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 9 months ago.

CHER, I RATED U EXCELLENT AS ALWAYS! YES, THERE R OTHER SCHOOLS. BUT, THIS ONE WAS CLOSE TO HOME AND THE HOURS WERE GREAT. I WILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT A COUPLE MORE WEEKS. HE TOOK HIS PICTURE DOWN OFF OF HIS PAGE SO I COULDN'T C IT. HE TOLD ME THAT IS HOW HE FEEL IN LOVE WITH ME BY LOOKING AT MY PICTURE.I"M SURE THAT'S Y IT'S DOWN. THAT'S Y I'M NOT SURE IF IT IS DEPRESSION OR JUST WANTING ME TO KNOW HIS LIFE. I HOPE HE REALIZES HOW THAT WE WERE A;WAYS GREAT FRIENDS AND DOESN'T THROW THAT AWAY. DO U C ME REALLY HAPPY BY SPRING?

Expert:  Cher replied 9 months ago.
Hi again, Steph and thanks for your excellent rating; I appreciate it!

That's good, that you won't have to wait long for the classes to begin.'

This is what's confusing to me: he took his own picture down from his FB page so you couldn't see it, but told you he fell in love with you by looking at YOUR FB picture. How are the two related. Why did he take his picture of himself down? So you couldn't see it and continue to have feelings for him?

Did you say that he unfriended you from FB? If so, how are you seeing his page?

I see you happy by Spring if this situation is resolved with Perry and the lawsuit is settled and the divorce is final.

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 9 months ago.

I BELIEVE HE TOOK HIS OWN PICTURE DOWN OFF HIS FACEBOOK PAGE SO I COULDN'T LOOK AT IT. HE TOOK IT DOWN SHORTLY AFTER I CAME BACK FROM.MN. I BELIEVE HE WAS THINKING WELL, U HAVE NOTHING TO LOOK AT NOW. FOR HIM A WAY TO PUNISH ME. IF U UN-FRIEND A PERSON U CAN STILL C THEIR PAGE. IF U BLOCK THEM U CAN'T. THIS WAY HE CAN C MY PAGE AS WELL. I'M NOT SURE Y HE TOOK THE PICTURE DOWN. BUT, IT WAS TO COINCEDTAL THAT HE REMOVED IT WHEN ALL OF THIS STARTED. I'M GLAD U SAW ME HAPPY THIS SPRING. I DO BELIEVE THIS LAWSUIT WILL END NEXT MONTH. DOES YOUR GIFT THINK SO TO? I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO TALK T PERRY BY SPRING. DO U C THAT HAPPENING?

Expert:  Cher replied 9 months ago.
Hi Steph,

Well, I don't see the logic in it, but if he took his own pic down so you couldn't see it, as a punishment, that's not how most people think. Not allowing you to see information, okay, that's understandable, but taking down the pic......yes, it was coincidental that he did it right after all this nonsense started.

Yes, I agree, I think the lawsuit will end next month and shouldn't you also be divorced by that time, too? I think you will be talking to Perry by Spring unless there's something else going on with him that you aren't aware of.

Is there any way to ask his friend Paul what's going on with him (Perry) and ask Paul not to breathe a word to him, that you contacted him? Just say you're worried about him
because he hasn't returned your texts and he has NEVER done that. You're afraid he may be sick or something.....

Warmest regards
Cher
Customer: replied 9 months ago.

CHER, I THOUGHT I TOLD U I DID CONTACT PAUL. I DID LAST WEEK ON FACEBOOK. HE DID GET RIGHT BACK TO ME SAYING THAT PERRY IS REALLY BUSY. THAT EVEN HE HASN'T HEARD OR SEEN HIM. I TOLD HIM PLEASE, DO NOT TELL HIM I CONTACTED U. THAT PERRY WOULD GET MAD AT THAT. I SAID, WE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR OVER 25 YEARS AND HE HAS NEVER ACTED LIKE THIS BEFORE. I FIGURED IT COULDN'T MAKE THINGS WORSE. EVEN THOUGH HE IS REALLY BUSY, HE WOULD ALWAYS GET BACK TO ME. EVEN IF IT WAS JUST TO SAY, I CAN'T TALK I WILL CALL U AS SOON AS I CAN. HE HAS NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. I KNOW HE TOOK THAT PICTURE DOWN BECAUSE, OF ME. HE WOULD DO THAT. THAT WAS HIS WAY OF SAYING U CAN'T LOOK AT ME. I FEEL IT WAS HIS WAY OF ENDING OUR FRIENDSHIP. IF A.S. PEOPLE LIVE IN FEAR THEN I DOUBT HE HAS THE GUTS TO TELL ME HIMSELF THAT HE WANTS NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH ME. SO, THIS IS HIS WAY OF ENDING THE FRIENDSHIP. IF I SAW HIM IN PERSON HE WOULD SAY, STEPH, I UNFRIENDED U FOR A REASON. THEN, I, WOULD SAY, NO, U DON'T HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR THAT. I APPOLIGIZED FOR ANYTHING I DID WRONG. I'M NOT SURE IF PAUL TOLD PERRY ABOUT THE FACEBOOK THING. BUT, I HOPE NOT. I TOLD PAUL THANK U. FOR GETTING BACK TO ME RIGHT AWAY. SO, NOW WE KNOW HE IS REALLY BUSY. BUT THAT NEVER STOPPED HIM BEFORE. HE IS DOING ALL OF THIS ON PUORPOSE. BUT, I HAVE DONE ALL I CAN DO. HOPEFULLY, THINGS WILL WORKOUT. THE DIVORCE MIGHT NOT BE DONE BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH. LOUIE STILL WANTS TO STAY MARRIED. I DO LOVE HIM. BUT, I'M IN LOVE WITH PERRY. I READ SOMEWHERE THAT PEOPLE WITH A.S. WILL LOVE U 100 TIMES MORE THAN AN NT. IF THAT'S TRUE, THEN WOULDN'T PERRY'S FEELINGS FOR ME STILL BE REALLY STRONG? DOES YOUR GIFT C ME HAVING TO FINISH THE DIVORCE BECAUSE, I WILL GO TO MN TO BE WITH PERRY? I'M NOT WORKING ON MY MARRIAGE. I WANT TO JUST TALK TO PERRY AND C WHERE THIS GOES.

Customer: replied 9 months ago.

I WAS TALKING TO MY COUSIN THIS MORNING ABOUT PERRY. BOTH OF HER DAUGHTERS HAVE A.S. SO. SHE GETS THE DISORDER. SHE SAID, PERRY WANTS A RELATIONSHIP JUST NOT WITH ME. BUT, IT'S HIM NOT ME. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? SHE SAID, SHE THINKS HE IS STILL EMBARESSED. BUT, I DO FEEL REJECTED BY HIM. DO U THINK HE WANTS ME OUT OF HIS LIFE FRO GOOD? SHE SAYS WITH HIS DISORDER WHEN THEY CHOOSE TO CUT U OUT OF THEIR LIFE THEY R DONE WITH U. DO U STILL THINK HIM AND I WILL WORK THIS OUT. DO U THINK HE STILL THINKS OF ME? I MEAN IN A GOOD WAY.

Expert:  Cher replied 9 months ago.

Hi Steph,

I've been telling you for a while now, that it's him, not you. It's very possible that he was so embarrassed, speaking to you or seeing you again, will bring that incident back to his mind and he wants to forget it. With a friend for a couple of years, I could see him cutting them completely out of his life; considering your long-term friendship, I can't see this happening. However, it is certainly a possibility. I do think he still thinks of you (in a good way) and misses speaking to you, but can't bring himself to speak to you due to this embarrassment. I think you've done everything you can do for now and perhaps it would be a good time to just stop trying to communicate with him and see how things play out on their own. You've gone long periods of time without speaking before (you've told me), so, maybe as time passes, he'll feel less embarrassed and want to speak to you again.

Besides going there in person to face him and tell him how you feel and make him tell you how HE feels, there is no other way to get him to talk to you, after everything you've already done/tried. His disorder is holding him back from doing anything right now. So, put that on the back burner and concentrate on the important things going on in your life, now.

I would appreciate it if you could please rate each answer I send you and if you are not able to, please start a new question for me. Thanks very much!

Warmest regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 9 months ago.

THANKS, I JUST TRIED TO RATE U AGAIN, I'M USING MY PAY PAL SO I NEED TO GET THE PASSWORD FROM LOUIE. I WAS OUT WITH MY FRIEND DEB. SHE DOESN'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE PERRY AND ME SITUATION. I TOLD HER ABOUT IT. RIGHT AWAY SHE SAID, THIS IS SOMETHING THAT WILL HAVE TO BE DISCUSSED IN PERSON. SHE THOUGHT THE EMBARRESMENT THING IS TO HARD ON HIM. I TOLD HER I PLAY IT SAFE IN LIFE. I WOULD TAKE THIS AS A SIGN FROM GOD THAT HE DOESN'T WANT ME WITH PERRY. THAT IN MY LIFE IF IT COMES HARD TO GET SOMETHING GOD DOES NOT WANT ME TO HAVE IT. DEB SAID, SHE UNFRIENDS PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK ALL THE TIME. I SAID, Y THAT IS CRAZY. SHE SAID, CONTROL. SHE SAID, SHE LETS A COUPLE MONTHS GO BY THEN SHE TAKES THEM BACK AS FRIENDS. I GUESS PERRY DOES HAVE CONTROL. I KNOW HE LIKES THIS. SHE AGREED THAT IT WAS A VERY JUVENILE THING TO DO. SHE DID LIKE THE FACT I'M SUPPOSED TO TEXT HIM EVERY 4 DAYS THAT I MISS MY FRIEND. SHE THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD WAY OF LETTING HIM KNOW I WILL BE HERE FOR HIM. U AGREE WITH ME THAT HE WANTS A RELATIONSHIP BUT, JUST NOT WITH ME. DEB SAID, THAT IF I GO THERE I CAN'T LEAVE BECAUSE, HE WILL DO THIS AGAIN. I THINK IT'S GREAT I CAN TALK TO A FRIEND AND SHE SAYS, THE SAME THING U DO. I DIDN'T TELL HER ABOUT WHAT U SAID. DEB WOULD GO BACK TO MN IN A MINUTE FOR LOVE. I'M SCARED TO GO THERE BUT, I WILL. I HOPE R DOING WELL. I KNOW I HAVE TO GO THERE AND TELL HIM I'M THERE I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. DO U THINK IT MAKES ME SEEM DESPERATE TO GO THERE AND TELL HIM I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE? DO U THINK HE WILL THINK I'M DESPERATE? BECAUSE, I CAN'T HAVE HIM THINK THAT OF ME.

Customer: replied 9 months ago.

R U THERE?

Customer: replied 9 months ago.

R U STILL WORKING?

Expert:  Cher replied 9 months ago.
Hi Steph,

I'm here now; I was offline earlier.

Thanks for saying you will rate me; I hope you can get the needed info from Louie and do that tonight.

I don't think you're desperate, I think you need to straighten this situation out with him once and for all and see him in person. But, once you go there, are you willing to stay? Right now, you have to take care of your own life and your own family, even though you care a lot about him. Do you think you can deal with the way he thinks and does things, based on the past months since you returned? I know you want to clear this up and yes, I believe it has to be done in person, but you're going to have to decide if you truly want to be with him and live there, based on your needs and his needs. This is a very difficult decision. The FB thing is nonsense, like Deb said. It doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, but yes, it IS a form of control, in a way. You are not the kind of woman that can be controlled or will allow herself to be controlled so keep that in mind, too.

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 9 months ago.

GOOD ADVICE! NO WONDER YOUR A GREAT MOM. IT'S HARD TO IMAGINE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE WITH HIM ALL THE TIME, BECAUSE, I KNOW I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG FOR HIM TO ACT LIKE THIS. I LIKE THAT U THINK I CAN'T BE CONTROLLED, YOUR RIGHT. BUT, I'M PRETTY EASY GOING, AS LONG AS I COULD TALK TO HIM TO FIX THINGS IT WOULD BE O.K. I WOULD PLAN ON GOING THERE TO STAY FOR AWHILE. THAT'S Y I WOULDN'T GO UNTIL SPRING. THEN SAMUEL COULD SPEND TIME THERE AS WELL. RIGHT NOW I ONLY THINK ABOUT GOING THERE TO GET OUR FRIENDSHIP BACK. IF HE WANT'S ME TO STAY I WILL. I GUESS THE LAWSUIT WILL BE DONE. I WILL HAVE MONEY TO COME AND GO. I WOULD GO INTO THIS KNOWING THAT I WOULD TAKE IT DAY BY DAY. HE WOULD HAVE TO BE THE PERSON I HAVE KNOWN FOR 27 YEARS. NOT THIS PERSON. BUT, MY LIFE WOULD FIT UP THERE. I WOULD GO BACK TO THE CASINO AND WORK, PT IS ALL. I HAVE FRIENDS AND FAMILY THERE. I JUST WANT THE CHANCE TO TRY THIS OUT WITH HIM. I'M AFRAID I BLEW IT ALREADY. DO U THINK HE WILL GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE? I KNOW HE IS SCARED. BUT, WHEN HE LOVES U I KNOW THAT IT IS REALLY STRONG. HE JUST CAN'T REALLY SHOW IT. BUT, I CAN FEEL IT. SAMUEL WILL ALWAYS COME FIRST. I WILL COME AND GO AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE FOR HIM AND LOUIE. I THINK I WOULD BE THE BEST PERSON FOR HIM. DO U THINK HE KNOWS THAT?

Expert:  Cher replied 9 months ago.
Hi Steph and thanks for your compliment about me being a great mom; I appreciate it!

You didn't do anything wrong, for him to be acting like this, and that's why it's important to speak to him in person and talk it all out. If you plan on going in the Spring and taking Samuel, would you go during Spring break when he's off from school?

If you go into this knowing it would be a day to day thing, that's fine, just don't make your aspirations too high so that you are disappointed if everything doesn't go as planned. Getting your friendship back is most important, so I'm glad that's what you're aiming for.

I don't think you blew anything; there's nothing to forgive you for. He wanted what happened just as much as you, he just was gun-shy and couldn't perform. Nobody's fault and men without disorders get over it and move on, although it IS usually a big deal to men, if there are extenuating circumstances, and they know they can perform in the future, they don't dwell on it like he has. I'd due to his disorder.

I agree you're the best person for him and I think he knows that, but he's too stubborn and embarrassed to admit it. That's why he's doing this to you at this time.

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 9 months ago.

I WAS READING ABOUT LACK OF EMPATHY. IT SAID, THEY HAVE NO SELF-WORTH OR NO SELF- LOVE AND THEY CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW U FEEL. SO, PERRY CAN'T UNDERSTAND Y I FEEL LIKE I FEEL. IT SAID THAT'S Y IT IS SO HARD FOR THEM TO HAVE RELATIONSHIPS. I GET IT NOW. HE HAS SUCH A LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND IS SCARED OF ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP IT MAKES SINCE TO IGNORE ME. I WILL PROBABLY GO BY MYSELF THIS SPRING. I'M GOING TO GET MY FRIENDSHIP BACK. THEN, I WILL GO FROM THERE. I WILL

Customer: replied 9 months ago.

THIS WENT THRU AND I WASN'T DONE. I WILL TELL HIM I'M COMING BACK. I WILL SHOW HIM I'M COMING BACK WHEN I BOOK MY TICKET. OR IF HE WANTS ME TO STAY I WILL HAVE TO DRIVE BACK SO I HAVE MY CAR WHEN I GO TO MN. THAT'S MY PLAN. GO SAVE OUR FRIENDSHIP. THEN COME BACK TO BE WITH HIM. BUT, I KNOW WHEN I GO GET MY FRIENDSHIP BACK I CAN'T PUT ANY STRESS ON HIM. SO, I WILL TELL HIM I'M COMING BACK TO BE HERE. I KNOW THAT I WILL HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO MAKE THIS RELATIONSHIP WORK AT THE BEGINNING. I WILL HAVE TO SHOW HIM I'M HERE.

Customer: replied 9 months ago.

R U STILL UP?

Expert:  Cher replied 9 months ago.
Hi Steph,

Yes, you're absolutely right, re: the lack of empathy and he can't understand how you feel and how he's making you feel. I think going by yourself initially, this Spring is better than having Sam along. It will be best for all involved. The point is to get your friendship back and that's what you will focus on. You have a good plan! Yes, you will definitely have to be the leader in this relationship, in order to make it work, especially at the beginning.

Please remember to Rate, so I can receive credit. Thanks very much!

Attachments are only available to registered users.

Register Here


Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 9 months ago.

I WILL RATE U ON THIS QUESTION. LOUIE WORKS NIGHTS, SO,I HAVE TO WAIT FOR HIM TO DOT HOME. I WILL ALSO, START A NEW QUESTION TOMORROW ON A NEW THREAD. I'M JUST SCARED HE WILL NOT TALK TO ME WHEN I'M THERE. I KNOW WHEN I TALK TO HIM I CAN KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO HIS HEAD. DO U C HIM TALKING TO ME? I WON'T SAY MUCH, JUST LETS FORGET ALL THIS AND MOVE ON. DOES YOUR GIFT C HIM TALKING TO ME?

Expert:  Cher replied 9 months ago.
Hi Steph,

Sorry, I didn't realize Louie worked nights. Guess that makes sense, considering the job! : ) Thanks for promising to rate here and then start a new question, I do appreciate it.

Yes, I think he will talk to you. He will be very tentative at first, but you'll get him to turn around, slowly. You have a knack for talking people into things and seeing the 'right side' of the issue; in other words, you're persuasive. That's a good trait to have, and it comes naturally to you!

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 9 months ago.

THEY HAD TO MOVE LOUIE TO NIGHTS AFTER ALL THIS HAPPENED. THEY FIRED HER HUSBAND AND ME THEN THEY SEPERATED THEM. BUT, THEY DID NOTHING WRONG REMEMBER? THE COMPANY WONT ALLOW THEM TO BE ON THE PROPERTY TOGETHER. BUT, THEY DID NOTHING WRONG. SO, IF UPPER MANAGEMENT NEEDS VACATION DAYS AND SHE COULD FILL IN FOR THEM SHE CANT DO IT. THE ONLY WAY SHE CAN DO IT IS IF IT'S LOUIE'S OFF DAYS. OTHERWISE, THEY HAVE TO MOVE OTHER EMPLOYEES AROUND TO ACCOMODATE VACATION TIME. NOW, HOW DOES A COMPANY EXPLAIN THAT THEY HAVE TO GO THRU ALL THIS TROUBLE BUT, THEY DID NOTHING WRONG. U C IT EFFECTS A LOT OF OTHER EMPLOYEES EVEN 2 YEARS LATER. WHEN THIS AFFAIR WAS GOING ON THEY HAD TO MOVE EMPLOYEES AROUND TO ACCOMODATE PULLING LOUIE OFF THE CASINO FLOOR. I HAVE LOTS OF WITNESSES THAT WILL TESTIFY ON MY BEHALF OF WHAT SHE DID TO HAVE ALONE TIME WITH LOUIE. ALSO, IT EFFECTS OUR FAMILY LIFE BECAUSE, THEY WILL NEVER TAKE HER OFF DAYS. THEY LOVE HER SHE HAS SLEPT WITH HER BOSS. THIS IS SO SICK. I HOPE SOME GOOD COMES OUT OF ALL OF THIS. DO U THINK THAT WITH ME GOING ON NATIONAL T.V. THIS WILL STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING TO SOMEONE ELSE? I HOPE SO. DO U THINK PERRY WILL EVER WATCH THE INTERVIEW? DO U THINK I WILL EVER BE ABLE TO SHOW HIM THE INTERVIEW? IF HE EVER WATCHES IT DO U THINK HE WILL HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR ME? I MEAN WILL HE GET I'M A FIGHTER. OR JUST THINK I'M A LOSER?

Customer: replied 9 months ago.

R U THERE.

Expert:  Cher replied 9 months ago.
Wow! Terrible! Whatta witch she is! Yes, you're right, they ruined many people's lives and I can't believe she's still working there. .

I do think you going on national TV will help stop this from happening to someone else. I think Perry will watch the interview and continue to have respect for you; I don't think he ever lost respect for you. He also doesn't think you're a loser!

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 9 months ago.

THANKS, FOR HAVING SUCH NICE WORDS TO SAY TO ME. BUT, THIS IS THE TYPE OF PERSON THEY WANT TO WORK FOR THEM. BUT, I HAVE NO INTEGRITY. SO,THEY FIRED ME AND HER HUSBAND. WHAT A COMPANY. I BET EVEN AFTER THIS IS ALL DONE THEY STILL DON'T FIRE HER. AT LEAST THE GUESTS AND THE EMPLOYEES WILL KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT THEY DID. HOW DO U THINK PERRY WILL C THIS INTERVIEW? IF I DON'T TALK TO HIM HOW WILL HE EVER KNOW TO WATCH IT? DO U THINK HE WILL EVENTUALLY TALK TO ME? DO U THINK HE WILL ASK ME TO MAIL IT TO HIM? DO U C ME TRYING THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM? PLUS, BEING HAPPY.

Expert:  Cher replied 9 months ago.
You're welcome! I only speak the truth!

I thought you were planning on mailing him a copy of the dvd with the interview or sending him the url with the web address so he could see it. If he doesn't know when it's on or on what channel, he won't see it. You want him to see it, right? Did they tell you for sure when it would air?

I see you trying to re-establish your friendship with him and then it will be up to him to see what happens next. You already know that if you attempt a relationship with him and you are there all the time (living there), what the drawbacks will be, due to his disorder. First, concentrate on repairing the friendship, gauge how he's feeling and what he's doing and then think about the future relationship. Baby steps.

I'm signing offline now, because I'm really tired and my eyes are bothering me. Please try to post that new question for me tomorrow so I see it when I sign on, and of course rate here, when you get the info from Louie. Thanks!

Have a good night! Know you're fighting the good fight! : )

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 9 months ago.

CHER, I STARTED A NEW QUESTION FOR U ON AN NEW THREAD. HOW R U? I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW TOMORROW HOW DO U THINK IT WILL GO?

Customer: replied 9 months ago.

R U THERE?

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Ron

    ASE Certified Technician

    Satisfied Customers:

    21205
    23 years with Ford specializing in drivability and electrical and AC. Ford certs and ASE Certs
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/FO/fordguy4u/2011-12-17_222940_HPIM1257.64x64.JPG Ron's Avatar

    Ron

    ASE Certified Technician

    Satisfied Customers:

    21205
    23 years with Ford specializing in drivability and electrical and AC. Ford certs and ASE Certs
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/lyeung1/2010-07-25_032152_tn_IMG_0241.JPG Dr. Y.'s Avatar

    Dr. Y.

    Urologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    18396
    I am fellowship trained specializing in general urology and reconstructive urology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/docjohn174/2008-12-13_170143_johnask.jpg John's Avatar

    John

    Home Appliance Technician

    Satisfied Customers:

    13453
    Appliance repair business owner for over 43 years.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/MU/multistatelaw/2011-11-27_173951_Tinaglamourshotworkglow102011.64x64.jpg Tina's Avatar

    Tina

    Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    8492
    JD, BBA Over 25 years legal and business experience.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/dermdoc19/2010-09-30_160749_Photo_122807_015.JPG dermdoc19's Avatar

    dermdoc19

    Dermatologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3855
    30 years practice in general and cosmetic dermatology
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/BI/birddoctor/2012-6-22_173214_birddoctor.64x64.png Dr. Pat's Avatar

    Dr. Pat

    Bird Veterinarian

    Satisfied Customers:

    3384
    25+ years working primarily or exclusively with birds
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RY/rydergar/2012-6-6_192240_IMG0328.64x64.JPG Dr. Gary's Avatar

    Dr. Gary

    Cat Veterinarian

    Satisfied Customers:

    3299
    DVM, Emergency Veterinarian, BS (Physiology)