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Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18654
Experience:  M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
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CHER, DID U GET PAID

Customer Question

CHER, DID U GET PAID
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
Hi again, Steph and thanks for requesting me.

How are you today? I hope all is well! : )

No, unfortunately, I did not get paid for the refund on that one answer and I also never received your bonus of $10, which you mentioned you wanted to add.

I would like to answer your last question here, since I didn't get a chance to do that when you posted it last night and I was offline, plus, that question is now closed.

I fully understand your dilemma about whether to go to visit him sooner rather than later, and I only brought up the out of sight/out of mind thing because from my reading, I feel the longer he doesn't see you, the longer and more difficult it will be to resolve this. Right now, it's just important to get him communicating with you again and regaining the relationship you had before--as friends. There is no way he 'forgot' about you or will ever forget about you. You were close friends and there's no reason that can't continue, once you find out what's bugging him and why he stopped talking to you. You need to talk it out and you agreed it would be better in person, that's why I suggested not waiting as long as your cousin suggested. You already said you know he could never come see you, and your cousin should understand this if she also has this disorder.

I don't know if he was furloughed, but, that might be a good excuse to text or call him to ask, because you're concerned about this situation and wanted to know if it adversely affected him.


If you found my answer helpful, a Positive Rating would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks! Laughing

If you have additional questions or need clarification on my answer, simply click 'Reply' and I will get back to you.

To request me for any new, future questions, please begin your post with "For Cher Only" and I will respond as soon as possible.

Warmest regards,

Cher

Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18654
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 134 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

CHER, I PAID 15$ RIGHT NOW FOR U. PLUS, I HAVE 20$ IN MY JUST ANSWER ACCT. THEY SAY THAT IF I RATE U RIGHT NOW U WILL GET IT. SO, I'M GOING TO TO RATE U AFTER THIS QUESTION.PLEASE, LET ME KNOW U GET THE FULL 20$ THIS IS FRUSTRATING ME. I DID TEXT HIM. I SAID, DID U GET FURLOUGHED? I HOPE NOT. I MISS MY FRIEND. I DID THIS ABOUT 30 MINUTES AGO. I HAVE NOT HEARD BACK. I KNOW I WON'T. SO Y IS HE DOING THIS? HE SHOULDN'T BE MAD AT ME. MAYBE EMBARRASSED BUT, NOT MAD. THIS OUT OF SIGHT THING. DOES THAT MEAN. IF I'M NOT THERE HE DOESN'T THINK OF ME. DO U THINK BECAUSE, IT WOULD BE SO HARD ON ME TO MOVE MY JOB,KIDS, HOUSE ETC THAT HE CAN'T C THAT. I'M NORMAL AND I CAN'T C ANYONE DOING THAT FOR ME. I THINK HE TELLS HIMSELF HER LIFE IS THERE. SHE WOULD NEVER MOVE HERE. DO U AGREE?HE HAS NEVER DONE THIS NOT GET BACK TO ME. HE IS PUNISHING ME FOR SOMETHING. I TRULY FEEL HE JUST DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME AND THIS IS HIS WAY OF TELLING ME. BUT, I THINK HE WOULD JUST TELL ME NOT TO COME. OR TELL ME HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS. IF I CAN WAIT 2 MONTHS TO RESOLVE THIS CAN HE WITH HIS DISORDER? OR IS THAT TO MUCH STRESS ON HIM. I'M NOT SURE HE COULD HANDLE THE STRESS OF ME BEING FACE TO FACE WITH HIM. Y IS IT TO HARD TO GET BACK TO ME ABOUT MY NICE TEXT. I DO FEEL HE THINKS I LIVE TO FAR FOR HIM NOT TO C ME. CO HE AVOIDS ME. IS THAT THE OUT OF SIGHT THING? DO U AGREE WITH ANY OF THIS. I'M GOING TO RATE U NOW SO LET ME KNOW U GET THE MONEY. THANKS.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

I JUST RATED U EXCELLENT AS ALWAYS!

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
Hi again, Steph.

Thank you for your excellent rating. I do appreciate it! Yes, this did come through fine and I got a my appropriate portion of the payment from the site. However, this is for a 'new' rating and the refund that was removed from my account when you had the credit card/paypal problem has not been restored. You also mentioned you told them to add a $10 bonus to my answer, but that was not done. I really don't know much about the business end of things, but I only get notified when I get a positive rating and then I'm paid.

I'm glad you sent him the text. It WAS very nice and let's see if he answers later. If not, I do feel it's important for you to go there to straighten this out in person. If he wants to dissolve your 27 years of friendship this is not a nice way to do it. He owes you that much, to at least speak to you on the phone, via text or in person. I don't think he's given much thought to you moving your entire life out there just for him. He doesn't think about what would be involved. Maybe he's doing this so you won't have to uproot yourself and your family to move there because he feels it's too much of a sacrifice for you, but we can't guess at his reasons. You need to speak to him in any way possible, to find out why he's acting this way.

Warmest regards,
Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18654
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 134 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

THIS REFUND I WAS TOLD WOULD GO BACK TO U IF I RATED U. I WILL RATE U AGAIN WITH A 10$ TIP. HE DOESN'T KNOW I WOULD DO THAT. UPROOT MY LIFE HE NEVER SPOKE OF IT. HE ASKED ME WHERE WOULD SAM GOT TO SCHOOL? I SAID, WHERE I LIVE. R U ASKING ME TO MOVE BACK? HE NEVER SAID ANYTHING. I WAS JUST THINKING THAT IF HIS FRIENDS ASKED ABOUT HIM WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. THEN, HE WOULD SAY, I DON'T KNOW SHE LIVES IN FLORIDA. HER LIFE IS THERE. SO I THOUGHT IF HE TELLS HIS FRIENDS THIS THEN, HE WOULD THINK HOW OR Y WOULD I MOVE THERE. HE CAN'T THINK OF A SACRIFICE FOR ME IF DOESN'T KNOW I WOULD DO IT. DO U THINK HE MIGHT BE DOING THIS TO IGNORE ME BECAUSE, HE CAN'T C A FUTURE WITH ME BECAUSE, HE THINKS I WOULDN'T MOVE THERE SO WHATS THE POINT OF TALKING TO ME? DO U THINK HE IS JUST AN A--HOLE AND I DIDN'T KNOW IT ALL THIS TIME? OR DO U THINK HE WOULD CALL OT TEXT ME OUR FRIENDSHIP IS OVER. I THINK I WENT THERE LIKE HE ASKED. WE HAD A GREAT TIME NOW WE DON'T TALK. DO U THINK HE LOST ALL RESPECT FOR ME AND CAN'T STAND ME NOW. THAT'S WHAT I THINK. BUT I KNOW I DID NOTHING TO LOSE OUR FRIENDSHIP.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

CHER, I PAID U THE 10$ TIP. DID U GET THAT. PLUS U GOT RATED AGAIN, EXCELLENT.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

R U THERE?

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
Hi Steph,

I'm here. Thanks very much for your rating; I do appreciate it! No, the $10 bonus did not show up.

I need to write back to you soon, re: the rest of your question.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

O.K.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

R U THERE.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

R U STILL WORKING.

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
Hi again, Steph and thanks for your patience.

Regarding the refund being removed and getting that amount reinstated, rating me again has nothing to do with that, as far as I know. Also, there should be a place on the page with the ratings or after you rate, that asks if you would like to add a bonus and of what amount.

No, I definitely do not think he can't stand you now. What did you do that was so awful that would sever your friendship? Nothing. You spoke to John without knowing it would bother him. You didn't do anything that deserves this kind of action (or non-action) on his part. I was just thinking that perhaps he knows you're thinking of moving back there, because you had mentioned it (right?) and he doesn't want you to put yourself out for him. He may think he's being a 'martyr', not an a-hole. And yes, if he WERE an a-hole, don't you think you would have noticed before now? I do. You're a good judge of character and you know him very well. You know he has ups and downs due to his disorder and his reaction to all situations are not like yours and mine because of his disorder. However, we can't keep 'blaming' all his behavior on his disorder. Yes, he may not know how to handle the situation--whatever situation he has built up in his mind--but cutting off all communication like this is very unlike him and you have to get him talking again. That's why I suggested, a while ago, no texts, no phone calls, no FB, no emails, but a handwritten (ok, typed on the computer if you want) sincere letter asking him why he's not communicating with you and if you've done anything wrong that upset him, he needs to share this with you so you can discuss it and make it right. You're not ready or willing to lose your friend of 27 years.

What do you think? It seems you've been fighting this letter idea of mine since I brought it up! lol

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

THE LETTER IDEA IS A GOOD IDEA. BUT, I WROTE HIM ONE WITH THE WATCH AND SAID, I MISS MY FRIEND AND I WAS HURT. I HEARD NOTHING. SO, I FEEL IT WOULD NO GOOD. I DID BUY A BLANK CARD SO I COULD MAIL IT TO HIM AND CHLOE. BUT, I WILL NOT DO I THIS WEEK. NY COUSIN WHO'S DAUGHTER HAD A.S. SHE SAID, HE HAS FOUND SOMEONE ELSE AND HAS MOVED ON. I SAID, HE'S NOT SOCIAL. BUT, A FRIEND OF HIS COULD HAVE FIXED HIM UP. SHE ALSO SAID, HE CAN'T GO BACK TO BEING YOUR FRIEND. SHE DID SAY THIS, THAT HE WAS A YUSSY AND WAS TOO SCARED TO CONTACT ME. SHE DID SAY, IF HE TALKS TO ME HE IS SCARED ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED WILL BE BROUGHT UP. I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON US TALKING. I HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM BE AN A--HOLE TO ME. SHE SAID, THE BONDAGE THING DIDN'T HELP. THAT HE DID ALL THAT WORK AND COULDN'T PERFORM. MAYBE HE IS DATING SOMEONE AND HE THINKS HE CAN'T TALK TO ME. I NEVER DID TELL HIM I WOULD MOVE THERE. I EVEN ASKED HOW R WE GOING TO CO EACH OTHER? HIS ONE SISTER LIVES IN TAMPA. HE SAID, HE WOULD FLY DOWN HERE TO CO HER. THEN I COULD DRIVE UP TO C HIM. WE BOTH KNOW HE IS NOT GOING TO TAMPA. SO, I SAID, I WOULD TRAVEL BACK TO C HIM. HE STILL THINKS I AM COMING. REMEMBER I TEXTED IT. HE DOES NOT KNOW I WOULD MOVE BACK. SO NOW THAT U KNOW ALL THIS. I THINK HE THINKS I NEVER WOULD GIVE UP MY LIFE IN FLORIDA FOR HIM. SO Y BOTHER TALKING TO ME. I THINK HE FIGURES Y BE MY FRIEND ANYMORE THERE IS NO POINT. YOUR RIGHT HE SHOULD TELL ME NOT TO TALK TO HIM. BUT, I KNOW HE IS SCARED AND DOESN'T HAVE THE GUTS TO. I THINK HE JUST WANTS ME TO GO AWAY. DO U AGREE? HE WILL NOT RESPOND TO ANOTHER LETTER. HE KNOWS I'M HURT. I TOLD HIM THAT. HE PROMISED ME HE WOULD NEVER HURT ME. WELL, HE DID. BUT, I NEVER TOLD HIM I WOULD MOVE BACK THERE. I GET THE MARTRY POINT. BUT, I DON'T THINK HE IS THINKING THAT. WOULDN'T THAT REQUIRE A LOT OF THINKING IN HIS PART. DO U THINK THAT HE CAN'T C THAT I WOULD NEVER GIVE UP MY LIFE HERE IN FL. SO HE JUST DOESN'T WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. I WOULDN'T BE AROUND. I WILL GIVE U ANOTHER TIP.

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
Hi again, Steph.

I remember the card you included with the watch. You said 'I miss my friend and I am hurt', but did you ask what the problem is? What is he not speaking to/communicating with you? This is what you have to discuss with him. You have to find out what HE is thinking and why he feels it's not necessary not talk to you at this time.

Give this some good thought: do you really think he's dating someone right now and that's why he's not speaking to you? Do you think a person with his shyness and disorders would immediately start seeing another or other women, 1-2-3, even if he was set up? I find this hard to believe.

If you never told him you would move back there, there's nothing to worry about; but you did tell him you would be traveling back and forth to see him on a frequent basis. You left it with him knowing you were coming back and then you wrote him your were.

You're right, he's not traveling to see his sister in Tampa. You mentioned he will not get on a plane.......you're guessing at all these reasons why he may not be talking to you. You can't guess, you have to ask him and talk it out. You can do it in any way necessary, but he's not responding to texts, phone calls, cards, so I figure the best way to talk to him is to see him in person to get this cleared up. That's your choice. Either do that or don't talk to him again and maybe some day he'll contact you out of the blue. It seems like he's willing to give up on your friendship, but I don't think that's true and we know it's not true for you. If he won't speak to you, you have to make arrangements to speak to him, if you want to know why he started not communicating and if he feels you did something to hurt him. You certainly didn't do anything to hurt him intentionally, so this all has to be talked out. I feel this is the only way you will get to the truth and either clear this up or agree to end the friendship, which I know you don't want.

Thank you for offering to give me a tip/bonus when you rate me again; I appreciate it. I'm not sure if the option is on the actual ratings box page with the faces or on a following page, but look for it. I've never been a customer, so I don't know what you see.

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

WHEN U OFFER A TIP IT'S ON A SEPERATE PAGE. IT'S AFTER U RATE THE EXPERT. I KNOW I HAVE TO GO TO THERE. I WILL. I'M JUST SO SCARED HE WON'T TALK TO ME AND IT WILL BE THE END OF OUR FRIENDSHIP. I'M TOO SCARED TO DEAL WITH THAT. HE WILL GET ON AN AIRPLANE. I JUST DON'T THINK HE CAN FUNCTION WELL ENOUGH TO PLAN ALL THAT. YES, I DID SAY THAT I WILL TRAVEL BACK AND FORTH TO C HIM, BUT, NOTHING ABOUT MOVING THERE. MAYBE, I SHOULD HAVE. SO I FEEL THAT HE MIGHT THINK Y WOULD ANYONE MOVE TO MN, GIVE UP THERE JOB, HOME, FAMILY FOR ANYONE LET ALONE HIM. I'M NORMAL AND EVEN I DON'T THINK ANYONE WOULD DO IT FOR ME. SO, IF HE CAN'T C ME DOING THAT I THINK HE WOULD JUST RATHER HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. DO U THINK I SHOULD BE SCARED TO GO TALK TO HIM.HE WOULD SAY THIS, STEPH U LIVE IN FLORIDA I LIVE HERE. I DON'T KNOW Y THAT SHOULD CHANGE ANYTHING. BUT, I THINK HE WOULD SAY I CAN'T BE YOUR FRIEND AND I DON'T WANT MORE. I WOULD NEVER ACCEPT THAT. I ALSO FEEL LIKE HE THINKS I GOT SOME OF MY MONEY ALREADY AND I THINK HE THINKS HE WON'T TALK TO ME UNTIL I DO SHOW UP. I THINK HE THINKS THERE IS NO REASON I'M NOT THERE ALREADY. BUT, HE DID FIND HIS X QUICKLY AFTER HE LEFT TESS. HE DRUG HER UP FROM THE PAST. SO YES, HE CAN FIND SOMEONE. I DON'T KNOW IF HE CAN KEEP THEM. CHER, I'M SCARED. I WILL GO. DO U THINK HE WILL STILL BE MY FRIEND? DO U THINK IT IS TO HARD FOR HIM TO THINK I WOULD MOVE THERE.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

R U STILL WORKING

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

R U EATING DINNER? IF SO I'M SORRY.

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
Hi Steph.

My apologies. I was helping another client.

I really don't see any reason for him not to want to continue being your friend. You have done nothing wrong to ruin this friendship. I really can't see him giving up 27 years of friendship for a ridiculous reason or no reason at all.

You can't really compare how soon he found his ex after his 14 year relationship broke up, because she wasn't a stranger to him and he wanted a baby. Different circumstances, and boy, did he pay for it, literally and figuratively!

Living in different states has nothing to do with the continuation of your friendship because you've been doing this for many years, so what has changed? That's what you'll have to find out from him. If he doesn't want any romantic entanglements or that kind of relationship with you, fine; you can continue being friends just as you were. OK, everything will not be 'just as it was', because of the things that happened there, but if it takes him longer to get over it than you, so be it. It's certainly not a valid reason to end a long friendship.

Please rate positively if you found my answer helpful and that bonus would be appreciated. Thank you!

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

YOUR RIGHT I'M NOT GOING TO LET MY INSECURITIES STOP ME. I'M GOING IN THE NEXT MONTH. DO U THINK HE STILL LOVES ME IN HIS WAY? I KNOW IT'S NOT LIKE MY LOVE. SAMUEL IS VERY SCARED I MIGHT MOVE. OF COURSE LOUIE IS FILLING HIS HEAD UP WITH CRAP. I KEEP REASSURING SAM I'M NOT GOING TO EVER STOP BEING HIS MOTHER. I HAVE TO TALK TO LOUIE ABOUT THIS. DO U THINK PERRY HAS EVER THOUGHT SINCE I LEFT Y WOULD SHE MOVE HERE? SO HE IS PROTECTING HIMSELF FROM GETTING MORE HURT. DO U THINK HE STILL FEELS THE LOSS OF ME GONE. HE SAID, HE WANTED ME TO BUY A HOUSE THERE SO HIM AND CHLOE COULD MOVE IN. PLUS, AN SUV FOR THE WINTER. A CONVERTIBLE FOR THE SUMMER. SO, I KNOW HE HAS THOUGHT ABOUT ME LIVING THERE.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

R U THERE.

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
Hi again, Steph.

I do think he still loves you in his way and no, it's not like your love. He's not like your average man, so he has to love you in his own way. Yes, he might very well be trying to protect himself from hurt.

He may have thought about you living there but I think it was wishful thinking. He was 'constructing' a perfect life for all of you, but knew deep down, it probably wouldn't happen.

You living there is not important and not to be thought about now. You know you have to put your priorities in order. Sam comes first, and definitely tell Louie to knock it off; he's scaring and upsetting his son, whom he loves. Not right. Thinks he's getting back at YOU by doing/saying what he is and the only result is a frightened 10 year old.

Next, you have to straighten everything out with Perry. Find out what's on his mind and why he decided to stop communicating with you. Have a calm discussion, listen to everything he has to say and reassure him about whatever comes up, if he expresses insecurities. You're good at that! When you leave there, everything will be understood equally, by both of you, and if the only way to retain his friendship is to continue communicating as you were in the past, that's fine. You'll still have your friend, and you'll see him when you can. If that's the best you can do, I think it's fine.

Please rate positively if you found my answer helpful and adding the bonus you promised would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Warmest regards,
Cher

PS: I'm taking a little break now, so if you reply, I'll answer in a little bit.
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

THANKS, XXXXX XXXXX BREAK. DOES YOUR GIFT STILL C US BEING FRIENDS WHEN I GO BACK. I HAVE 100% FAITH IN U AND WHAT U SAY. I KNOW IT'S SICK WHAT LOUIE DOES. BUT, I'M TRYING TO MAKE IT BETTER. MY MOM IS HELPING ME TO. TRUST ME WHEN I LEAVE THIS NEXT TIME I WILL HAVE A PLAN FOR WHEN I COME BACK. I WILL TELL HIM THAT I'M GOING TO COME BACK TO FLORIDA. PUT SOME THINGS IN ORDER AND COME BACK AND STAY WITH HIM. I WILL TELL HIM NOT ASK. I WILL TELL THIS IS WHAT I'M PLANNING TO DO. IT WILL BE FUN. THEN, I WON'T GO THRU THIS AGAIN. IF HE QUITS BEING MY FRIEND THEN HE WASN'T A FRIEND TO BEGIN WITH. DO U C US STILL BEING FRIENDS? SAMUEL, COMES FIRST. THAT'S Y WHEN I COME BACK TO TAKE CARE OF THINGS I WILL TELL SAM, I WILL BE BACK. I WOULD ONLY PLAN TO STAY WITH PERRY FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS THEN COME BACK TO FLORIDA. I WANT THEM BOTH TO C I WILL BE THERE FOR BOTH OF THEM. WHAT DO U THINK. I HAVE TO LET PERRY KNOW I'M THERE. JUST THERE. THAT'S ALL. I'M GLAD U STILL THINK HE LOVES ME. HOW DO THEY LOVE? DOES HE THINK OF ME? DOES HE GET BUTTERFLIES IN HIS STOMACH. HOW DO THEY FEEL AND LOVE? R U SURE HE LOVES ME? IF U RESPECT SOMEONE LIKE ME WOULDN'T U WANT ME IN YOUR LIFE? HE KNOWS I'M A GOOD PERSON RIGHT.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

R U THERE?

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
Hi again, Steph.

I'm here now. : )

Yes, I do see you still being friends when you go back and everything is talked out. I'm glad your mom is helping you with Louie and what he says to Sam.Your plan for when you leave there and tell him you're coming back is a good one! It covers all contingencies and leaves no doubt. Being the 'leader' and telling him instead of asking him, I think is what he needs and you know him best. I think he loves you and respects you and knows that what you suggest is best for you both. Of course he knows your a good person! You wouldn't have been friends for this long if he didn't feel that way.

Yes, letting him know you're 'there', just there is less threatening and more helpful to him. Knowing you're around should help him de-stress, although I think sometimes he does get butterflies because you evoke the romantic in him, but he doesn't want to admit or try that again.

Please rate positively if you found my answer helpful and adding the bonus you promised would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

DO U THINK THAT WHEN U SAY HE GETS BUTTERFLIES BECAUSE OF THE ROMANTIC IN HIM. HE DOESN'T WANT TO GO THERE AGAIN. DO U MEAN HE DOESN'T WANT TO TRY TO BE WITH ME AGAIN? SEXUALLY OR ANYTHING. OR DO U MEAN LIKE I SAID, TAKE IT SLOW. WAIT FOR HIM TO BE READY.

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
Hi Steph,

You asked if I thought he got butterflies in his stomach when he thought of you and I think he does, even though he doesn't want to go there again right now. If you take it slow, sometime in the future, he might be ready to try again, but that's not for sure.

Please rate positively if you found my answer helpful and adding the bonus you promised would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

YOUR GIFT SAID, WE WOULD. THAT WE WOULD . I JUST WANT TO BE HELD IN HIS ARMS AGAIN, IN THE FUTURE. WHEN IS READY, I JUST WANT TO BE HELD BY HIM AGAIN. I KNOW NOT MAYBE THIS TIME, BUT, FOR SURE WHEN I COME BACK. WHEN I TELL HIM I'M THERE FOR HIM AND WANT TO CUDDLE, I WILL TELL HIM I'M CUDDLING THAT'S ALL. I WANT HIM TO BE COMFORTABLE. AROUND ME, NO SEX THAT'S ALL CUDDLE IN BED. DU C THAT.

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
Hi again, Steph.

Yes, in the future, when he's ready, he will love being cuddled by you and you will enjoy being in each other's arms. Little by little, he will start to become more comfortable around you, 'that way', and if he knows no sex is expected of him it will de-stress him and allow him to enjoy the cuddling; but first, you have to work up to this stage.

Please rate if you found my answer helpful and add the bonus you mentioned; I'd appreciate it. Thanks!

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

I WILL TAKE THINGS SLOW.I WILL CUDDLE WITH HIM ON THE COUCH WRAPPED UP IN A BLANKET/ IN MY CLOTHES. I WILL TELL HIM LETS CUDDLE. THEN THAT'S IT. WHATEVER HE WANT'S DO TO I'M O.K.WITH. I NO IT WILL TAKE TIME. BUT, AS LONG AS I HIS BED IN HIS BED EVEN THIS MY CLOTHES ON I WILL WAIT, HE WILL GET MORE COMFORTABLE WITH ME.I KNOW WILL GET THERE. I UNDERSTAND HIM DO U C US TOGETHER LIKE THAT JUST BEING HELD TIGHT IN HIS ARMS. I KNOW THAT IT THE BEST WAY FOR HIM TO SHOW ME HE CARES ABOUT ME. THAT'S HIS LIFE. DU C US DOING THAT. I HOPE YOUR GIST DOES.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

I MEANT I HOPE YOUR GIFT SEES US TOGETHER CUDDLING.

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.

Hi again, Steph.

Good, I'm glad you understand how you have to proceed--very slowly--no pressure on him.

I do see you doing that as long as you stay within his comfort level and he knows you're willing to wait and just cuddle.

 

Steph, I'm really tired and have to sign offline now. I'll speak to you tomorrow. Have a great night!

Warmest regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

GOOD NIGHT!

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

THE CARDS U READ TO ME I THINK R RIGHT. I GOT A CALL YESTERDAY FROM MY LAWSUIT ATTORNEY AND WE R GOING TO MEDIATION NEXT MONTH. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. I THOUGHT FOR SURE IT WOULD BE AT LEAST A YEAR AWAY. I'M SOOO EXCITED. PLUS, THE PIECE FOR T.V. IS READY. MY ATTY IS SUPPOSED TO MAIL ME A COPY. I HOPE IT AIRES BEFORE MEDIATION. THEN THEY WILL WANT TO SHUT ME UP. I HOPE THIS WORKS OUT. I NEED TO CALL HIM BACK TODAY AND FIND OUT WHEN IT WILL BE ON T.V? PLUS, WILL IT HELP MY CASE. HE SEEMS HAPPY ABOUT IT. I ALSO. WANT TO KNOW IF HE THINKS IT WILL SETTLE. THEY HAVE A LOT TO LOSE. IF THIS JUDGE RULES AGAINST THEM THEY LOSE ALL THEIR SOVEREIN IMMUNITY AND ANYONE CAN SUE THEM. THE MEDIATION IS IN MY ATTY'S AOFFICE BECAUSE, THEY COULDN'T GET THE TRIBAL MEMBERS TOGETHER TO COME TO THE EAST COAST. WHAT DO U THINK? DO U THINK IT WILL SETTLE? I HOPE IT DOESN'T GET POSTPONED. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S HAPPENING THIS FAST. IF THIS ENDS WITH MY DIVORCE MONEY I CAN GO C PERRY ALL I WANT. DO U C THIS HAPPENING? THANKS.

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.

Hi Steph,

That's very good news! This IS happening fast! I think it will settle if it doesn't get postponed, which has to be taken into consideration.

You're right, if it does settle, that would be great, because you could go see Perry as often as you like! I think it will happen soon.

Steph, I haven't received any ratings from you on my last several answers and never received the bonus you promised. I also never received a reversal of that refund. Are you able to rate on this answer and add the bonus, please? If not, please open a new question and don't make the subject anything about payments. Make the subject about something to do with your situation. Thanks very much, I appreciate it!

Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

CHER, I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING FOR THE REFUND. THEM J.A. CHARGES 1$ FIRST BEFORE THEY CHARGE THE 15$. SO. MY C.C. THOUGHT IT WAS FRAUD. SO, I GET PAID TOMORROW AND I'M GOING TO THE STORE AND BUYING ME A PREPAID CARD. THEN, I WON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS. I WILL MAKE SURE IT ALL GOES TO U. MY LAWYER WATCHED THE VIDEO THAT WILL BE ON T.V. HE SAID, I WAS AMAZING! I CAN'T WAIT TO C IT. I HOPE THIS HELPS IT SETTLE. MAYBE, WHEN THEY REALIZE I WILL GO ON LOCAL T

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

I MEANT TO FINISH SAYING THAT I HOPE THIS T.V THINGS WORKS OUT. I WILL GO ON LOCAL T.V. HERE HOPEFULLY, THIS WILL END. WHAT DO U THINK? WE HAVE TO PAY A FEDERAL MEDIATOR THE CHARGE 500$ AN HOUR. I HAVE TO HELP PAY FOR THIS. WHAT DO U THINK ABOUT THIS SETTLING?

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

I WANT TO BE WITH PERRY. BUT, EVERYDAY THAT GOES BY I KNOW HE IS FORGETTING ME AND HOW MUCH FUN WE HAD.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

R U THERE

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
Hi again, Steph.

I'm here, but I'm in the middle of another question; please allow me a short while and I will get back to you and respond to your replies.

Thanks for your patience!

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

O.K.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

R U THERE.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

R U EATING DINNER

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
Hi Steph.

Thanks so much for your patience!

I'm here for you now. Thanks for saying you'll take care of the payments, etc., tom'w.

You have to pay a federal mediator $500/hr.?? Ridiculous!! I hope the gov't is not shut down anymore by then, or maybe federal mediators aren't working? I don't know.

When is your interview supposed to air on TV? That will be wild! Is it only local in Naples, or will it be shown on my coast, too? It's great that everything is coming together at the same time!

I don't think that Perry is forgetting about you and how much fun you had. You said in the past you didn't speak every day; did he forget about you? No. He didn't forget about you now, either.

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

FEDERAL MEDIATORS R PAID BY THE CLIENTS. I HOPE THE SHUT DOWN IS OVER BY NOV 18TH. THE INTERVIEW WILL BE ON CBS, CNN, NETFLIX U TUBE. IT WILL BE ON 300 DIFFERENT AFFILITIES. MILLIONS OF PEOPLE R GOING TO C IT. THEY SAY IT SHOULD BE ON IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. HOPEFULLY, IT WILL FORCE THEM TO SETTLE WITH ME TO SHUT ME UP. PLUS, THE LOCAL NEWS WILL WANT TO INTERVIEW ME. IT WILL HURT THEM. DO I THINK THEY WILL WANT TO SETTLE NOW? THE NEXT STEP IS DEPOSITIONS. BUT, THEY COULD PAY ME AND SAVE THEMSELVES EVEN A LOT MORE MONET IN LEGAL FEES. DO U C ME HAVING MY MONEY NEXT MONTH. MY ATTY IS FRUITFUL ABOUT THIS. I'M EXCITED TO C HOE I DID ON THE INTERVIEW. THEY SAID, I DID AWESOME. I WAS CALM AND ARTICULATE. HOW CAN I BE SO SMART ABOUT THIS AND SO DUMB ABOUT PERRY? HE WANTED TO C IT. I'M THINKING OF MAILING HIM A COPY OF IT. I WILL WATCH IT FIRST. I NEED FOR HIM TO UNDERSTAND THIS IS MY EMBARRASSMENT.THAT, IT WAS DONE TO BE NOT BY ME. I'M JUST TRYING TO PICK UP THE PIECES. WHAT DO U THINK? WOULD U SEND HIM A COPY HE WANTED TO C IT. MAYBE HE WOULD FEEL SORRY FOR ME. I SAID, IN THE INTERVIEW, THEY ASKED ME TO DESCRIBE THE OTHER WOMEN. I SAID, SHE'S INHUMANE. WHO DESTROYS 2 FAMILIES WITH 4 CHILDREN INVOLVED. WHO THOUGHT OF THE CHILDREN. I WOULD LIKE AMERICA AND PERRY HEAR THIS. I BOUGHT PERRY A BLANK CARD TO MAIL HIM. BUT, I'M NOT MAILING IT TO HIM RIGHT NOW. I'M SCARED IF I DON'T GET TO HIM UNTIL NEXT MONTH HE WILL FORGET HIS FEELINGS FOR ME. DO U THINK THAT WILL HAPPEN? PLUS, IF I HAD MY LAWSUIT MONEY I COULD C HIM ALL THE TIME. DO U THINK HE WOULD LIKE IT IF I WAS THERE TO C HIM EVERYDAY?

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
Wow, unbelievable--the whole thing!

Yes, what you said about the families/children in the interview was great! It's true and it evokes sympathy for mothers, wives, families. If they know what's in the interview, they might want to settle quickly.

Stop putting yourself down! You are NOT dumb about Perry. I wouldn't send him a copy of it just yet and also, I'm glad you're holding off on sending him the blank card you bought.

How can you think he will forget his feelings for you? No, I don't think that will happen.

If you get the lawsuit money and the 401K and the divorce money, you will be able to travel to see him much more often. I think at first, it might be a little awkward, considering the happenings of the recent past, but after that, he would sure be glad to see you all the time!

Warmest regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

YES, U WILL BE ABLE TO C ME. I WILL LET U KNOW WHEN IT'S ON. WHAT DO U THINK HE WILL THINK WHEN HE WATCHES IT. I WAS JUST ON FACEBOOK. PERRY MUST NOT BE MOWING HIS YARD. HIS ROOMMATES WERE MAKING FUN OF HIM.BUT, PERRY IS REALLY GOOD ABOUT KEEPING UP HIS HOUSE. HE MADE A JOKE ABOUT HIS ONE ROOMMATE GOING ON DATING SITES. I THINK THAT'S WHAT PERRY IS DOING NOW TO. I WAS GOING TO TELL U THIS. WHEN OUR COMMUNICATION WENT WAY DOWN BEFORE I WENT THERE ALL HE WOULD SAY IS JUST GET HERE. THAT'S ALL HE WOULD SAY, JUST GET HERE. WHAT DO U THINK HE WAS WORRIED I WOULDN'T COME? U DOESN'T HE SAY IT NOW. JUST GET HERE. DO U THINK HE WILL FALL IN LOVE BEFORE I GET THERE. OR BEFORE WE EVER TALK AGAIN. DOES YOUR GIFT STILL THINK WE WEILL BE TOGETHER? DO U THINK HE WILL FEEL BAD FOR ME ON THE VIDEO?

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
Hi Steph,

Thanks for letting me know when it will be on!

I think he will be very proud of you when he watches it and yes, feel bad for all you had to endure.

No, I don't think he will fall in love before you get there. If he can fall in love so fast, that's not love! I do think he's anxious to see you, but he won't say it. It's just the way he is, considering how everything's been going.

Regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

I WILL HAVE TO MAIL IT TO HIM SOON BECAUSE, I THINK IT AIRES IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS. I WONDER WHAT GOOD STUFF WILL COME MY WAY AFTER PEOPLE C THIS. MAYBE JOB OFFERS? SOMETHING GOOD. DO U THINK WHEN I GO TO HIS FRONT DOOR HE WILL TURN ME AWAY? SAY SOMETHING LIKE I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO U. I WOULDN'T LEAVE. I WOULD SAY, WE R FRIENDS. DO U THINK IF HE WATCHES THIS HE MIGHT WANT TO TALK. I WONDER IF HIS ROOMMATES R ON HIS NERVES ABOUT THE GRASS. THAT'S BAD TO PUT IN OM FACEBOOK. DO U C GOOD THINGS HAPPENING TO ME AFTER THE INTERVIEW AIRES? DO U C PERRY AND I STILL TOGETHER?

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
I think a lot of good things will come your way after this airs. He will not turn you away when you appear at his door. If this should happen (which I really doubt), you WILL stay and you will tell him you have to talk to him. I do see good things happening to you after the interview airs and you and Perry will see each other and straighten everything out.

Regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

DO U THINK THIS LAW SUIT WILL SETTLE AT MEDIATION NEXT MONTH? DO U THINK IN 2 WEEKS I CAN MAIL HIM THE DISC. DO U C HIM GETTING SICK OF HIS ROOMMATES? DO U THINK PEOPLE WITH A.S. EASILY FORGET ABOUT ME? DO U C ME STAYING THERE A LOT IF THIS SUIT SETTLE'S THE 401K HELPS. BUT, MY REAL FREEDOM TO STAY AS MUCH AS I WANT IS THE LAWSUIT MONEY. BUT, AT LEAST BOTH LAWYERS WANT THIS MEDIATION. THAT IS A GOOD SIGN. I KNOW THEIR ATTORNEY HAS TOLD THEM TO SETTLE. MAYBE THE MEDIATER CON CONVINCE THE THE TRIBE THEY HAVE A LOT TL LOSE. DO U C ME HAVING THAT MONEY AS WELL?


 

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
I do think the lawsuit will settle at mediation. are you hoping he will get sick of his roommates so he throws them out and then needs a 'new' roommate to make ends meet? ; ) No, I don't think the A.S. has anything to do with him forgetting about you. You are too firmly ingrained in his soul. If both lawyers want the mediation, that's great!if their attorney told them to settle, you're right, maybe then, the mediator will convince them that they have a lot to lose, including their reputation. People won't trust them anymore.

Yes, I see you having that money as well, and being able to stay with Perry for as long as you want.

Steph, I had a really long day and have to take a break now and sign off. We'll talk again, tomorrow.

Have a great night!

Warmest wishes,
Cher
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

GOOD NIGHT! I WOULD LIKE TO BE HIS ROOMMATE. I JUST FIND IT A LITTLE RUDE ABOUT THE GRASS THING BEING PUT ON FACEBOOK. I ONLY WOULD BE HIS ROOMMATE IF I HAD A COMMITMENT CEREMONY. NO WEDDING JUST COMMITTED. I'M GLAD U C THIS SETTLING. I TRUST U BECAUSE, LAST YEAR U DIDN'T SEE THIS SETTLING AND IT DIDN'T. SO I HAVE FAITH IN U. IT MUST BE NICE TO HAVE YOUR GIFT. JUST THINK HOW HAPPY U MAKE ME. DO U THINK IF HE WATCHED THE TAPE HE MIGHT CONTACT ME? IS HE STILL SCARED TO TALK TO ME. I WISH I KNEW Y HE WASN'T MY FRIEND.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

PLEASE, LET MR KNOW U GOT PAID. I WENT BACK TO MY DOCTOR TODAY. NO BIG DEAL JUST GETTING MY TEST RESULTS. MY DOCTOR THINKS THAT I SHOULD WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH AN A.S. PERSON. NOT ROMANTICALLY. HE SAID, JUST KEEP TEXTING OR CALLING HIM ONCE A WEEK THAT YOUR COMING. TRY TO MAKE PLANS WITH HIM AND CHLOE. MAYBE HE WILL GET BACK TO ME. HE SAID, NO HE DOESN'T MISS U. HE IS OUT LIVING HIS LIFE. HE THOUGHT WE WOULD BE FRIENDS AGAIN. IT'S JUST THAT HE DOESN'T WANT ME ROMANTICALLY SO HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. BUT, HE COULD JUST TEXT AND SAY IT WOULD BE GREAT TO C U. BUT, WERE FRIENDS. BUT, I KNOW I HAVE MADE IT QUITE CLEAR I ONLY WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND. WHAT DO U THINK?

Expert:  Cher replied 10 months ago.
Steph,

We're communicating on your new question now, so don't post on this one anymore, okay?

Thanks,
Cher

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