Hi agan, Steph.
I didn't say you wouldn't see him/talk to him before the end of the year; I said I wasn't sure if you would be happy with him (in other words living there or having things cleared up completely) before the end of the year. You need time to re-establish your relationship/friendship. It IS curious to know how he got on with his wife, but that is something we will never know. From what you related that he said, it seems that he didn't even like her that much, no less love her, but he wanted a child badly. That's not really the best reason to get married. I guess he made up his mind, wanted something, went after it and now we have the result.
You caused him stress due to the bedroom thing (well, you didn't know you were causing him stress and it's certainly not your fault!) I let you know about the low self-esteem issue a while ago and it was obvious to you that he suffered from low self-esteem for a long time, so you know how to handle that. When you go up there, I don't think he will cut you out of his life forever. You've already shown him a lot of what you can do to help him cope with his deficits due to his disorders, but yes, he finds it hard to change and you would have to show him you can help him without him having to change too much or at all. I'm sure, after a while, he will feel more comfortable with you, but it wil take a long while, due to his disorders.
Finding out about dealing and other casino jobs in MN was a great idea. However, right now, it's a little premature, so getting the information in advance was great, but you don't know if you'll end up living there and/or needing a job there, so you can keep the information you found out in mind for the future.
Right now, it's important for you to speak with him in person and let him know your feelings and that you'll be there for him, so let's concentrate on that.
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