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When one harshly criticizes another person with profanity and

Resolved Question:

When one harshly criticizes another person with profanity and stuff, does it always follow the rule that it is constructive criticism and therefore, it's perfectly safe for the person that is being criticized to think of it as follows:

"It's nothing personal. He likes me. He cares for me. He only picks on the good ones that he still believes can become a better employee, player, person, or whatever. When he calls me names, it's best that I don't listen. When he says "WHY" I am whatever name he calls me, it's best that I do listen. That's how I will become a better employee, player, person, or whatever. He puts pressure on me to see, because if I can stand up to him, his criticism, and profanity, I will able to stand up to anything, like when things are on the line. That's what he needs from me."
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Martin replied 2 years ago.
Hello and welcome.

It is really hard from my side to be the judge in that case without hearing a full conversation. All what you mentioned can be true for some but those will usually counterbalance with positive from time to time.

When it is always like you mention it may just be someone that is insecure of himself or just like to make himself believe he is in control (that often cause inventing bogus story and comments out of thin air so as to fill the control need at any given time).

If you agree with the critic he make then you can see them as constructive. If you can detect that he is picking on you just to be in control (that can include things that are said again and again even if he know he already told you) it can't be constructive and just reinforce his thirst for control/power over someone.

The profanity can be seen in both case. In the positive one it will be like a hockey coach that just want to extract the max from you. In the negative case, the profanity will be made to lower you.

Another difference between the two would be when you meet that person in a context other than the workplace. If he still criticize on your personal life, that person have a serious problem.
Martin, Engineer
Category: General
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Experience: i'm 41 and i never stopped studying and experimenting
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i'm 41 and i never stopped studying and experimenting