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Martin
Martin, Engineer
Category: General
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Experience:  i'm 41 and i never stopped studying and experimenting
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If I have for the past two years voiced my opinion about being

Customer Question

If I have for the past two years voiced my opinion about being uncomfortable in my
present home, and I have good reasons for that and remodeling alone won't change
the fact that I'm older and find it too large with too much land, meaning the remodeling
won't fix the problem I have with it not being a comfortable place for me to live, and
my husband says he does not want to sell the home, and says that after two years,
how bad of a relationship problem is that in your opinion? What I'm thinking is he is
inconsiderate and significantly as I am having problems with and from living here. It
is possible he feels he has to stay here, but I don't see that. Also, he does not say
he feels he has to stay here, he just says he does not want to sell. To me, that
expression or way of expressing his view to me, is very inconsiderate, how bad is it?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Martin replied 1 year ago.
Hello and welcome. May i know how old you are and your husband?

Are you helped by him with the work in and around the home?

Have you ever talked about a plan when both of you will get too old or sick, like getting an apartment or getting into a retiree home?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

He helps, we talked about a plan but roughly and mid fifties to late


fifties are the ages...

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Want to know if the statement does not want to sell is itself


significantly bad given that I have expressed my opinion about it


for two years and even before that. How bad is it?

Expert:  Martin replied 1 year ago.
He may have his reason about this. Perhaps he want to wait for the housing market to recover to get a good sale price.

Some just get attached to their home. Guys like to have lot of space. If you can get him a smaller house with a big garage he might be just as happy.

Perhaps you could get him to rent the house while you get an smaller one or an apartment. He would then only have the maintenance to do and you would have nothing to do with it anymore.

Perhaps if the house is really big you could convert it into a revenue building and stay in a smaller part of it.

Depending if you are good financially you could hire a maid some days of the week to reduce your work time in the house.

Try to find a middle ground with him on the subject. Give him choices, he might pick one.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

And that's how bad you think it is?

Expert:  Martin replied 1 year ago.
You mean in regard to your relationship? It is quite normal and happen frequently. This is not about agreeing on the color of a carpet, it is about moving away, a big decision. As long as he continue to help you around the house and hopefully to do a bit more as you mentioned to him that it start to weight on you i would consider that normal behavior for a man.

If you want to really know what he think about all this, don't start to argue with him. Mens like to think strategically and take there time and HATE to be put into a situation where they may lose because of lack of preparation. Let him a sheet of paper with all your points about why you think you should move. Ask him to address all those points and to add his arguments as to why you should stay in that house. Give him 2 week for him to fill the sheet (and be prepared to give him another week if he say he is not finished). Present it to him as a mind game and not a confrontation, let him also have the last word. You may be surprised of the reason why he don't want to move.
Martin, Engineer
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 4155
Experience: i'm 41 and i never stopped studying and experimenting
Martin and 55 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thanks.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

You have answered my question, I wrote a reply which was not


answered so it is listed as open, can you respond, it just said thanks,


so it can be closed? Thanks!

Expert:  Martin replied 1 year ago.
No problem, you just have to not post back after this current post and it should solve it.

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Martin
Martin
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i'm 41 and i never stopped studying and experimenting