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Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18866
Experience:  M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
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May I have you read me again to see if I am still heading in

Customer Question

May I have you read me again to see if I am still heading in the right direction.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda and thanks for requesting me. In the future, please include my name in your question, so other experts know it is intended for me. Thanks so much!

Please give me a little while to do another reading for you.

First, can you catch me up on what's been going on in your life?

Have you filed for divorce?

Are you still living together?

Have things improved at all?

Did you try couples counseling/therapy?

How is your mom? Are you sitll her caretaker?

What direction do you believe you're currently headed in?

Thanks for all your additional detail.
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Yes, I did file. We are still living in the same house. We did do counseling for five session as they where free. We have not been back. Yes I do still care give for my mom. Improved for just a little bit. And now to add to the whole thing his mom is dying of acute myloed leukima. She only has six months if that.


He had all of the retirement accounts froze once I served him and now he wants to access them, he can not because I will not sign off. He is very very very mad. He

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda and thanks for your reply with additional information.

I'm sorry to hear this sad news about your mother in law. That must be very tough on your husband and of course, also taking a toll on you, as I feel you have a good relationship with her.

I'm glad your mom improved, if just for a little bit; every bit helps.

It was in your best interest to file, but it wasn't a good idea for him to freeze all of the retirement accounts, as that action is now backfiring on him since you won't sign off. It was an action done in anger and the result is more anger for him. He will need to unfreeze those accounts so it will benefit you both.

I'm glad you did have some counseling, but 5 sessions, of course weren't quite enough. My reading has shown me that you will continue with the divorce and it will go through, but it will take some time. A lot has to be done, if he is contesting the divorce, but if it is 'uncontested', it will take a shorter amount of time.

He may never fully understand the reason you're filing for divorce and will always stick to his belief that you are 'supposed' to do everything and take care of everything and everyone, and although he may be helping 'a little', it's still not enough. He is stubborn and stuck in his ways and you have been very patient with him. The divorce is not due to lack of love. You still love each other, but he is driven by money and this will never change. That's why his first action after you filed, was the freeze all of the retirement accounts--it was like a 'reflex' action for him, but as we saw, it backed him into a corner he can't get out of easily, without your help (signing off). He will need to live by himself, as a divorced man, to realize everything you did/do for him, that he will now need to do for himself, and he will not like it at all.

I feel that even after the divorce is final, you will still see him and be in touch with him.

Things will go your way in this divorce and your future will be bright.

Please let me know if you need anything else.

Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback (Laughing), as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much, I appreciate it!


Please let me know if you need any additional information or have any further questions/concerns before rating, by clicking 'Reply', and I will be happy to continue our conversation.


PLEASE DO NOT RATE NEGATIVELY IF YOU HAVE ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS, CONCERNS, AND/OR NEED MORE INFORMATION; JUST CLICK "REPLY" TO LET ME KNOW HOW I CAN BE OF FURTHER ASSISTANCE. MANY THANKS!



To request me for future questions, simply type "For Cher" to begin your post and I will answer, asap.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

He can not unfrezze anything as I will not sign anything so he will be able to access the funds. So are you saying that he divorce is still the right thing to do?


You are right I do still love him but as he gets older is gets so so hard to live with him

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

Yes, I do feel that the divorce is still the right thing to do, so you can be happier and move on with your life. A man with his personality, as you describe it, does get harder to live with as he gets older, because his undesirable behavior becomes magnified, so even though you still love him, life will become rougher for you as time goes on, if you don't go through with the divorce.

The attorneys will have to straighten out the unfreezing and access to the retirement funds so they may distributed as they should, in the divorce settlement.

Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback (Laughing), as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much, I appreciate it!


Please let me know if you need any additional information or have any further questions/concerns before rating, by clicking 'Reply', and I will be happy to continue our conversation.


PLEASE DO NOT RATE NEGATIVELY IF YOU HAVE ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS, CONCERNS, AND/OR NEED MORE INFORMATION; JUST CLICK "REPLY" TO LET ME KNOW HOW I CAN BE OF FURTHER ASSISTANCE. MANY THANKS!



To request me for future questions, simply type "For Cher" to begin your post and I will answer, asap.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

So even if I get him to counseling ..... it just wont matter will it


 

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

If you felt you were making positive strides in the 5 counseling sessions you attended, by all means, continue. If this is your plan, to try counseling again, before taking further steps towards divorce, it deserves a try.

In my reading, I just see that he's a 'tiger that doesn't easily change his stripes' and as you mentioned, as he gets older he becomes harder to live with, and our goal in this situation is your happiness, so if you feel further counseling might prevent going ahead with the divorce, definitely consider it. However, you also don't want to waste your time if you feel additional counseling won't make much of a difference, considering his past (and present) behavior, anger, and issues.

Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback (Laughing), as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much, I appreciate it!


Please let me know if you need any additional information or have any further questions/concerns before rating, by clicking 'Reply', and I will be happy to continue our conversation.


PLEASE DO NOT RATE NEGATIVELY IF YOU HAVE ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS, CONCERNS, AND/OR NEED MORE INFORMATION; JUST CLICK "REPLY" TO LET ME KNOW HOW I CAN BE OF FURTHER ASSISTANCE. MANY THANKS!



To request me for future questions, simply type "For Cher" to begin your post and I will answer, asap.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

sigh .... you are probably more than correct. The cards say divorce and if they do will I be financially ok

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

If you divorce, yes, you will be financially okay. Just make sure you have an attorney that is good and will get you the most equitable settlement.

You are a remarkable and strong person, doing all that you do, every day, and you will survive this!

Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback (Laughing), as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much, I appreciate it!


Please let me know if you need any additional information or have any further questions/concerns before rating, by clicking 'Reply', and I will be happy to continue our conversation.


PLEASE DO NOT RATE NEGATIVELY IF YOU HAVE ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS, CONCERNS, AND/OR NEED MORE INFORMATION; JUST CLICK "REPLY" TO LET ME KNOW HOW I CAN BE OF FURTHER ASSISTANCE. MANY THANKS!



To request me for future questions, simply type "For Cher" to begin your post and I will answer, asap.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Would be easier if I hated him. Even though he has an anger issue,,,or as he says he snaps. He can still be a good person.


Just can't do the Dr jekell and mr hyde thing any more. Makes me wonder if I will ever be happy at all with or with out a man

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

I agree, it would be easier if you hated him; the question is, can you continue to live with his anger issue/snapping at you? Having an anger issue and being a good person are two different things. I'm sure when you married him you loved him for the good person he is, and that's why you still love him, but sometimes, we just have to make difficult decisions and put ourselves first. This may sound selfish, but it's not; it's self-preservation.

You shouldn't have to live with the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde thing anymore; it's not the way you were meant to live. You should know who's on the other side of that face when you wake up in the morning.

You will be happy again, with or without a man. But I feel you will meet a man who will treat you well and make you happy, sometime down the line. You will not want to start looking until this is all behind you and you take a little 'breather', but, eventually, and when you least expect it, you will meet a man you enjoy spending time with, again.

Positive energy and a positive attitude is what you need right now, and I feel you possess these.


Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback (Laughing), as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much, I appreciate it!


Please let me know if you need any additional information or have any further questions/concerns before rating, by clicking 'Reply', and I will be happy to continue our conversation.


PLEASE DO NOT RATE NEGATIVELY IF YOU HAVE ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS, CONCERNS, AND/OR NEED MORE INFORMATION; JUST CLICK "REPLY" TO LET ME KNOW HOW I CAN BE OF FURTHER ASSISTANCE. MANY THANKS!


To request me for future questions, simply type "For Cher" to begin your post and I will answer, asap.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I really don't even want to think of being with another man right now. I just want to be happy. I want him to be happy too. Is that bad. WHY CAN'T I JUST DUMP HIM

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

I understand completely, and you don't have to think of being with another man right now. I only mentioned that I feel everything will be okay if you divorce and you will not be without a companion in the future.

You deserve to be happy and you will be happy once you consider everything and do what's best for yourself. I know you want him to be happy too, but you're having trouble dumping him because you still care about him. Not all divorces are hateful; some people care about each other but are just not able to continue living with each other. This is always a difficult situation and decision and the ultimate decision needs to be made by you. I'm totally on your side, and do not think you're 'jumping into anything' without giving it careful thought.

Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback (Laughing), as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much, I appreciate it!


Please let me know if you need any additional information or have any further questions/concerns before rating, by clicking 'Reply', and I will be happy to continue our conversation.


PLEASE DO NOT RATE NEGATIVELY IF YOU HAVE ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS, CONCERNS, AND/OR NEED MORE INFORMATION; JUST CLICK "REPLY" TO LET ME KNOW HOW I CAN BE OF FURTHER ASSISTANCE. MANY THANKS!


To request me for future questions, simply type "For Cher" to begin your post and I will answer, asap.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Do you see me getting the house so mom can move in and he moves in with his mom and dad

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

Yes, I see you getting the house for you and mom and he will either move in with his parents or live elsewhere.

Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback (Laughing), as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much, I appreciate it!


Please let me know if you need any additional information or have any further questions/concerns before rating, by clicking 'Reply', and I will be happy to continue our conversation.


PLEASE DO NOT RATE NEGATIVELY IF YOU HAVE ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS, CONCERNS, AND/OR NEED MORE INFORMATION; JUST CLICK "REPLY" TO LET ME KNOW HOW I CAN BE OF FURTHER ASSISTANCE. MANY THANKS!


To request me for future questions, simply type "For Cher" to begin your post and I will answer, asap.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Will I find the courage to continue on with this soon. I can't stand it knowing I am going to hurt his parents especially now. Will we divorce before she passes. Cry

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

You will have the courage to continue on with this soon, and if you feel strongly about not hurting his parents, you can put it on hold for a while and see what happens with his mom.

Remember, you are a very good person for putting his parents' feelings (and everyone's feelings) before your own, but you must do what you feel is best for you and will make you happiest.

If it's possible to keep this news from her, you can proceed as soon as you feel it's appropriate for you. Otherwise, as I mentioned, you can put it on hold for the time being.

Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback (Laughing), as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much, I appreciate it!


Please let me know if you need any additional information or have any further questions/concerns before rating, by clicking 'Reply', and I will be happy to continue our conversation.


PLEASE DO NOT RATE NEGATIVELY IF YOU HAVE ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS, CONCERNS, AND/OR NEED MORE INFORMATION; JUST CLICK "REPLY" TO LET ME KNOW HOW I CAN BE OF FURTHER ASSISTANCE. MANY THANKS!


To request me for future questions, simply type "For Cher" to begin your post and I will answer, asap.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I have never ever put myself first. I am slowly learning how to do that. It's so hard. I hate to hurt others even if I don't like the person.


I feel like a an emotional wreck.


 

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.

Hi again, Wanda.

I'm so sorry for the delayed response. My internet connection failed and I just got it back. Thanks for your patience.

I know what you're going through is extremely hard for you and you find it difficult; you're being pulled in a million different directions and your emotional state is being pushed to the limit. This is because of the type of person you are, naturally, and you hate hurting people, even unintentionally. Again, you have to force yourself to put yourself first, in this case, and not consider it being 'selfish'. Weigh your options carefully and do what you feel will make you happiest and most secure.

Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback (Laughing), as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much, I appreciate it!

Please let me know if you need any additional information or have any further questions/concerns before rating, by clicking 'Reply', and I will be happy to continue our conversation.


PLEASE DO NOT RATE NEGATIVELY IF YOU HAVE ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS, CONCERNS, AND/OR NEED MORE INFORMATION; JUST CLICK "REPLY" TO LET ME KNOW HOW I CAN BE OF FURTHER ASSISTANCE. MANY THANKS!


To request me for future questions, simply type "For Cher" to begin your post and I will answer, asap.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

no worries... I am the one who usually fixes everything ..... please just tell me I will find that courage soon and just do it, without much hurt to anyone.

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

I understand---there is always one person in the family who is the 'fixer', and now you need support, yourself. You will find the courage soon and do what has to be done in a way that will be least hurtful to anyone. But, after all is said and done, you will be a happier person. Keep that goal in mind and it will make it easier for you.

Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback (Laughing), as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much, I appreciate it!


Please let me know if you need any additional information or have any further questions/concerns before rating, by clicking 'Reply', and I will be happy to continue our conversation.


PLEASE DO NOT RATE NEGATIVELY IF YOU HAVE ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS, CONCERNS, AND/OR NEED MORE INFORMATION; JUST CLICK "REPLY" TO LET ME KNOW HOW I CAN BE OF FURTHER ASSISTANCE. MANY THANKS!


To request me for future questions, simply type "For Cher" to begin your post and I will answer, asap.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

thank you ..... I have some support. I am the one that is there for others more than the other way around. I will ask my grand mother, my uncles, and my daughter for the strength. Never felt so lost not even when I told others that I was molested. This is way harder

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

Great! I'm so glad you have some familial support; that will be a great help. Don't be afraid to ask for the help--they will understand. They love you and will be glad to help you during this difficult time.

I'm sorry to hear you were molested. That's terrible. You're right, this may seem way harder, but you will get through it and come out the other end a happier person.

Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback (Laughing), as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much, I appreciate it!


Please let me know if you need any additional information or have any further questions/concerns before rating, by clicking 'Reply', and I will be happy to continue our conversation.


PLEASE DO NOT RATE NEGATIVELY IF YOU HAVE ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS, CONCERNS, AND/OR NEED MORE INFORMATION; JUST CLICK "REPLY" TO LET ME KNOW HOW I CAN BE OF FURTHER ASSISTANCE. MANY THANKS!


To request me for future questions, simply type "For Cher" to begin your post and I will answer, asap.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

the ones that I mentioned are my relatives that I have lost but they will still help me

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

Oh, I understand. They will help you from the other side......best help there is! Innocent

I have every confidence you will do well and this experience will make you stronger.

I have to eat a late dinner now, so will be offline for a bit.

It would be greatly appreciated if you would please provide a positive rating to at least one of my answers, so I am credited by the site for helping you.

You can still communicate with me even after rating, so don't worry, we won't lose touch. Laughing

I wish you all the best and will always be here for you.

Best wishes,
Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18866
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 103 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I feel like he is trying to put the screws to me. He wants to take the money out of the account in both of our names. We have one in both and one in just his. He also has his 401 k and retirement. And he has money that he has hidden. I thought it was in the safe but I got into it and there is no cash. You have any ideas where is would be??????


Money really is his first love not me. I have the slip that shows where he took cash out. Also he just took all of his vacation that was alot so both he has enough to do the ira for his daughter but you can't take his money. He really does want to get me doesn't he??? It is ok for me to give all money and emotional wise but he doesn't think i should get anything.


 

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda and thanks for requesting me.

Please allow me a short while to do a reading for you and send you an answer.

Thanks for your patience.
Cher
Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda and thanks for your patience.

Yes, unfortunately, he really is putting the screws to you. If you have already filed for divorce, isn't withdrawing and hiding money something your lawyer should be dealing with? I'm not an attorney, but it seems that he should not be allowed to do that before the divorce proceedings, if you have already filed.

As far as the hidden money, I get a feeling about a few things: he could be hiding it somewhere in his parent's house or in their bank account; he could have opened a different bank account with his name and/or another person on it, like his daughter, and if asked, 'the money is mainly hers'; he could have opened another bank account with only his daughter's name, not including his. He could have hidden it physically (buried) on the grounds of your house, his parents' house or another relative's or friend's house.

If you have the withdrawal slip and any others, showing when and how much he withdrew, hold onto that and hide it in a safe place because it is evidence of the money he had/has after you filed. Definitely let your lawyer know about this.

Sadly, yes, you said money means a lot to him and this will never change, as is evident from his behavior.

I hope you will find the hidden money and I know if you stay positive, all will go well for you!

Please take a moment to rate with positive feedback. Thank you!

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I have filed but told him to put a hold on it cause I thought that the counseling would help but alls it has done is give him time to move stuff and hide. He and Staci got inheritance and he had been playing with Staci's money to. He keeps saying i took her money. I didnt i only took half of what was int he savings. I should have taken all like the lawyer said.

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

Thanks so much for your patience. I had to run down the hall to help a neighbor.

I didn't realize that you put a hold on the filing while you were in counseling, thinking that things might work out, but unfortunately, yes, it only gave him time to move the money. How sneaky of him! If you took half of what was in savings, half of it was yours, so you did nothing wrong. If your lawyer said to take all of it, in hindsight you should have, but hindsight is 20/20, unfortunately. I have a feeling Staci may be holding the hidden money for him or she knows where it is, since it was part of the inheritance.

If the account with both your names on it is still open, ask your lawyer if it should be closed or just sit open with nothing in it, if he cleaned it out. It might have to stay that way for now.

I'm assuming you will go back and tell your lawyer to take the filing off hold, now that he has pulled this fast one with the money. Unfortunately, he has shown his true colors and they are not pretty. I'm sorry you have to go through this aggravation, but I see positive things for you ahead.

Best wishes,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Yes I have emailed my lawyer. I would like to have my marriage but I can honestly see that we have grown apart. It has affected my whole life. Please will things get better..... I just feel so broken. I actually want both of us to be ok

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda and thanks for requesting me.

It's understandable that you would like to continue with your marriage, but if you have noticed that you have grown apart, neither of you is the person you married and you can't be truly happy if that is the case. Unfortunately, divorce does affect everything in your life but if you have come to the realization that this is the best thing to do and you have tried all other alternatives but none have worked, then you must believe this is all for the best.

Once all the legal messiness is over, things will definitely get better for you; it will be a new beginning and you will feel more free and unencumbered. It's natural to feel broken; going through a divorce makes you feel that way, but you are a strong and intelligent woman and you will be fine. He is a survivor as well, and you will both get through this and be okay.

Keep thinking positive and surround yourself with loving friends and family and they will be your support system. Positive energy is surrounding you in your darkest moments, and this will also help you get through this difficult time in your life. Don't worry.....you will be okay.


Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback, as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

so do the cards say that they see the divorce going through and it is the right thing to do

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

Yes, the cards I drew for your reading do indicate that the divorce will go through and it is the right thing for you to do at this time. He really leaves you no choice. You need to be your own person and accomplish things you've always wanted to. I know you spend a lot of time taking care of your mom, but that will not prevent you from feeling free and out from under the foothold he has upon you.


Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback, as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Can tell me what else that they say .........would like to well hope that things go my way a little in this divorce, work and in life in general

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

Please allow me to do an additional reading for you and I will get back to you in a short while. Thank you for your patience.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

ok

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

I drew two cards for you.

The first card I drew for you is 'Strength'; this is a very positive card. It is a feminine card and indicates that you, as a woman, will move forward with inner strength and diplomacy to achieve what you want in the face of adversity. In other words, things will go your way in the divorce, at work, and in your life, in general.

The second card I drew for you is also a positive one. It is the 'Ace of Wands'. All Aces represent positive change through new beginnings. It may also represent an entirely new way of life and a transition from your life now, with the success of the divorce going your way and your life changing for the positive.


Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback, as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

sounds good ........ do you have any more details for me

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

Yes, it is a very good reading with positive energy!

I've drawn one more card for you--'The World'. This represents triumph and achievment, success and happiness, in everything that is happening in your life. Another very positive card for you!

You will do well in this divorce and even though it's so difficult to leave a man after so many years of marriage, you deserve to be treated better and that's why you will experience triumphant success and happiness, because you deserve it and have deserved it for a long time to come. You are going to 'come into your own', recognize your positive attributes and use them to your advantage. You will be much happier when you are no longer doing his bidding and waiting on him hand and foot and taking care of yourself and what makes you happy.


Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback, as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Coming into my own.......... hmmmmm don't really know how to do that one. But if you say so. Do you think that will be any children in my life

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda.

'Coming into your own' meaning you will feel fulfilled, you will do what you want, accomplish goals you set for yourself. It will come naturally, once you don't have him to hold you back.

Children--this is a difficult one. I do believe there will be chldren in your life, but they may not be children born to you. They will be the children of close friends and/or a man you may meet in the future.

Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback, as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

ok thank you I am still fearful of everything........... and that he may "snap" again just one more question then off to bed ..........do you see him getting so upset that he will end up trying to hurt me or himself

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda and you're most welcome!

It is natural for you to be fearful of everything; you are going through a very tough time and are experiencing fear of the unknown.

I don't feel he will try to hurt you or himself, but if he is so volatile and you you fear this because he has 'snapped' in the past, definitely mention it to your lawyer. He may suggest that you take out a restraining order if you fear for your life. Also, it might be a good idea to encourage him to go back to counseling to help him get through this hurdle, unless you feel that may set him off; if you feel that may be possible, then don't suggest it.


Please take a moment to Rate with Positive Feedback, as that is the only way in which I am credited by the site for my time and expertise. Thank you very much.


Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Seems like everything sets him off. I hate doing this while his mom is sick but I don't live with her.


Thank you


I have to go to bed or I will never get up

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda and you're most welcome.

I know, he is volatile. His mom being sick is unfortunate, but you can't put this off any longer. You made up your mind and now you have to move forward with your decision. It will be best for you.

Get some sleep. Everything will be fine!

Please remember to rate my answer positively so I can be credited by the site for my answers and expertise. Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX appreciate it!

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Why is this so damn hard. I still have everything going. I have even asked that it be speeded up if can be. Can you please tell me if he is going to be ok. Even though he is not being very nice. Told me that I am a gold digger and the c word. I still love him and want him to be ok.

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, Wanda and thanks for requsting me.

It would be appreciated if you would please rate this and some of my previous answers to you, as I am not receiving credit from the site for assisting you, if you don't rate. Thank you.

I know, it is hard; divorce always is. It's good you asked for things to be sped up and hopefully, they will be.

His behavior was not nice at all, but he is upset (no excuse for calling you names). He is going to be okay. He is going to have to do things for himself, but he'll manage. He became too reliant on you doing everything for him, but he knows how to take care of himself and you don't need to worry about him being alright. He will be fine.

Best regards,
Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
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