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Michael, Librarian
Category: General
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Experience:  20+ years as information professional
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My gardner used to very often eat at some Meat Market Deli

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My gardner used to very often eat at some Meat Market Deli during his lunch hour. However, since this Meat Market Deli burned down, my gardner now usually eats at Jack-In-The-Box during his lunch hour. My father owns 3 different properties, and has men working on these properties. I sometimes have my gardner go and do some work at these 3 properties in order to help my father out. Near one of these 3 property locations is another location of the name of the Meat Market Deli where my gardner used to eat at during his lunch hour. Therefore, out of casual conversation, I just told my father that maybe I ought to have my gardner work solely at the property location that is near this other location of the Meat Market Deli so that my gardner will be near the place where he likes to have lunch at. I meant no harm by it. I really didn't. It was just casual conversation, really. Anyway, my father was not supposed tell my gardner that I said this, but he did. Which brings me to my question; my question is this: If you were my gardner, would you feel insulted or think that I was implying or insinuating something with the comment that I made? Thank you for your assistance.
Hello, Thank you for using this service. I wish to introduce myself. I am a Research Librarian with 20+ years of experience.

I would first think that it is nice of you to have your gardner taking care of your fathers properties. Also it is good for your gardner to have the extra work as I am sure he does a fine job taking care of both properties.

With this being said, I see no harm in wanting to have it easier for your gardner to have lunch at someplace he enjoys. I often see gardners in my neighborhood eating in front of the house they work at or in their trucks so to be able to actually sit in a fast food establishment I am sure is appreciated.

I see no harm in what you said but if you feel that some hurt was done by saying this, then talk with your gardner on a casual basis and see if the topic comes up. Only that way will you know if feelings were hurt.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

But isn't it also possible that he might just not say anything but keep it to himself even if I do talk to him on a casual basis and if the topic never comes up?

Quite possibly but see in future visits if he talks with you or just does his job and leaves without even saying anything or eye contact. You sound like you have a good relationship with him and his work so any hard feelings should go away over time, If though this bothers you, go ahead and casually ask if there are any problems that you should be aware of. It will be up to him if he feels like he will tell you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Should I buy a dozen donuts and offer him as many as he likes or something like that?

Something like this as a goodwill gesture can be helpful as it shows you care about him as a person as well as his hard work. It will then not necessarily show that something was said to hurt him and his feelings. Some small talk after giving him something like your small gesture will then give you a better idea if his feelings were hurt, if at all. Overall, it sounds like a good idea you wish to do to smooth things over if feelings were hurt.
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