Here is the dream: I am in a large house, not rich or anything, on a big hill. There are people wandering about inside, I don't know them, but I seem to be part of things. There is a kind of nerdy looking 20ish guy, kind of sweet, gawky, with dark rimmed glasses. Soon I go to the front door and open it and find he has hanged himself on the porch. I recognize that it is bad, but don't feel anything. I go back inside and a 20 something girl is cleaning tables, she is acting angry, but it is because she is upset about this tragedy. Later she apologizes to me for acting brusque and explains it was because she was upset. She is calm now,and smiling and I say it is fine, I understand. That's it, except, the hill outside was very stark and cold looking. Like hard dirt mostly, a little dead grass. Thank you.
Well, normally no. But, very unusual for me I was recently playing a game with zombies that you had to stop from getting in your house. I played it quite a few times, but it was a week ago. I normally don't go for that kind of thing.
I was being bullied by an abusive boyfriend these past months. I had some suicidal thoughts during that time. I just left him 3 days ago, and it was after I left that had the dream.
And I wondered about the girl cleaning - and feeling angry, she was doing that in the dream to cope with the feelings about the boy.
I can be extremely emotional but in the dream I was very very calm and just an observer.
Damn Martin! You are bloody good at this! More than you know. I am the angry girl, I really have been distraught and trying to stay busy, but I'm starting to feel calmer and much better.
And the guy - so funny you said that - because when I met him he was kind of geeky and read a lot, and sweet and that was when I loved him so, but then he moved to NYC and became "cool" and tough acting, and trying to impress someone, or himself with this new persona he put on.
And he seemed less kind, less relaxed, less the boy I fell in love with. So I did feel like that boy died in a way, and never understood this change, but felt sad about it. And then he just got controlling and over the top in every way. So I had to go. And so the death of the relationship and the dream of it.
Painful, very painful, but I had to leave. You are right about the house on both points. I was initially very fearful of being all alone- physically and I had believed he was the "one" who got me. But was sadly mistaken. And I am staying at my brother's house which is in the country, with much space inside and outside of it. Yes, I am here figuring it all out.
The message on the porch. That is brilliant Martin! That is so perfect! (Why didn't I think of that!?) (Oh, I guess i did! =)
Well, compliments to the dream interpreter I'm seriously impressed. Thank you. That actually helps me a lot. Really does. =)
Have a lovely and peaceful day. Thanks again.