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pdheslin
pdheslin, Consultant
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 2634
Experience:  20+ years of internet site creation and search engine optimization. Dozens of search tools at my disposal.
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Hi there, Im back again with another question about ken, will

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Hi there, I'm back again with another question about ken, will he be able to get over his issues to continue a relationship with me or is it time for me to give up- so confused any help will be greatly appreciated.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: General
Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
Hello Melanie, welcome back -- thank you for requesting me.

Your angels and guides line up quickly to welcome you, to thank you for checking in and encourage you to talk them, ask them for signs and guidance. They cannot step on your free will, but if you ask, they can and do help!

Melanie, they want you to know that it's necessary to say, "no" to what does not fit you, so that what does fit has room to come into your life. You gave it a good shot, and his behavior is not caused by anything you've done or not done, it's his dysfunction. You tried your best, XXXXX XXXXX's not accepting it and so it's time to move on.

When I ask them to show me your future, they show me the symbol of two hands clasped, which is my symbol for ever lasting love, available to you. Then they show me the overlaying of many hands, and this means that relationship will be accompanied by many other people who will be positively affected.

It's time to let go and move on, to give up what you thought was "good" so you can have "the best" instead.

Warmly and with angel hugs,
Pam
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Hi Pam, thanks so much for your reply. Why is it when I do ask my guides for signs they have showed me the signs I asked for to continue with Ken. I know he's having trouble right now from his abusive childhood, I love him so much and don't want to let go we get along so well together. But if it's for the best it will be so hard but I maybe can try -You do say there's someone else-any idea on him when, where,who maybe if someone came into my life it would help me see.

Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
A major step in learning to work with guides is discernment, that is, how to interpret the signs we receive from our guides. We have to learn to how to not let our own bias, and what we perceive as our own needs, color the interpretation of what we see as "signs".

Looking at the history of our interpretations also helps us learn this. If we interpreted signs as "GO" and that actually ended up confusing us, or hurting us more, then we need to go back a few steps and question whether we interpreted those signs correctly. Our own ego is always trying to trip us up, and our addictions to people, places and things can be very strong and very cunning.

It's best not to focus on this "other" person as a way of detaching from an "other" person. That's going from the frying pan into the flame. Instead, let your spouse by your own connection to Spirit. The major theme here is attempting to derive happiness from a person, instead of sharing your own happiness with him. You want him to BE your joy. This is very common karmic lesson that our contemporary culture is sharing. We are addicted to people just as much as we can be addicted to a substance. You need to get "sober" from Ken.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


The sign I've used quite a few times is asking my guides to confirm to me that I should continue with Ken and if we're meant to be is having him contact me by a certain time- one example i asked before midnight on a certain day and he texted me at 11;55, that has happened on many occasions i always change the time and he always contacts me by the time i ask for. What exactly is it about ken that you are seeing as not a good fit for me? sorry for all the questions life just really sucks sometimes

Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.

The first and foremost is the pain, the second is that you can't change him, he is out of your control. He will not change.

 

The signs we ask for cannot be things that we can reasonable expect to repeat, and/or happen at certain intervals, and they cannot be related to the question at hand. If they are related to the thing we're asking for, we can't help but skew the potential outcome in our ego's favor.


The signs you ask for, have to be completely random. The flying of a certain color bird past you, a feather on the ground, a coin turned heads up or down.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

What do you mean change him, i don't want to do that i like him as he is. Would asking to see for example a red balloon be a good sign from my guides? I know i'm frusterating but i've never loved anyone like this before and can't help but want to follow my heart. I was always told a quote to remember"when your at a crossroad in your life and there are 2 paths to choose from -the one you should take and the one you want to take - always take the second one. so i think thats where all my confusion's coming from. Is there maybe something i don't know about ken that my guides aren't sure of - he's always been wonderful to me maybe i'm missing something

Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
Change him, in terms of what you referenced in your first post of the question, "his issues" you cannot have any effect on those blocks for him.

Yes, asking for a red balloon, but not right before you walk into Party City or the circus!! :) You know? :)

Melanie, with all love in my heart, I say, if you "can't help but" anything, there is no reading to do -- your mind is made up on what you're doing to do, you are quite adamant about that. And that's Spiritually wonderful as long as you are going to take full responsiblity in your soul for whatever the outcome is.

The reading is supposed to help you see energy that you normally can't see, so you can make decisions. You've already decided :)

So, to bring it back 'round to your original question:

will he be able to get over his issues to continue a relationship with me
Answer: No.

or is it time for me to give up-
Answer: Yes.

This is our answer, this is what I see from your guides who love you. Namaste`

Smile
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I understand and accept the answers my only question is was it always like that or did something change along the way? why did he come into my life if i was only to get hurt- it took me 2 years to even want to be involved with anyone after my divorce-now i can't even trust myself to make good decisions.

Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
When I ask the Guides the question about "was it always this way" I get this answer, maybe it will mean more to you than it does me: "Sometimes the soul knows the tXXXXX XXXXX before the conscious mind comes around to the same point of view."

If you don't trust your ownjudgment, it will not always be this way. This is a process. You are not alone in this, everyone goes through this at least once in their lives. This is why the saying, "you have to kiss 100 frogs before you find your prince" is so common and rings true to those of us who mistook a few frogs for princes (no offense to Ken, but either he is a vibrational match for you, or he is not. You are telling me in not so many words, his vibration about "issues" does not match yours.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


I've only had 3 relationships in life including a 10 year marriage and not one was a good decsion- but for some reason this one felt right and we're so alike, i felt safe and very comfortable and he is so kind-all the things i thought you look for-were we a vibrational match at one point? it's very hard to know- i don't want anymore frogs! how can u tell if they are or not

Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
Well m'lady none of us wanted our frogs either! But it's a necessary part of our growth and learning process to go through relationships/jobs/friendships that DON'T work, to help us define and refine what we want, and the minimum we will accept.

This is most commonly a karmic lesson about letting go too much, too soon, emotionally and trusting too soon. It's time to take a break from all romantic relationships to reconnect with your own authentic self, the soul self and tell the brain to take a back seat.

The soul knows what you want to do, and the head tells you what you should do, but the brain will always try to tell you that it knows better than the soul or masquerade as the soul. (Putting it in terms that you used before with the should vs want.)

Your brain tells you that you can't bear to be alone, single, or let go of Ken. But the soul knows that you deserve the best a man can give you, and that you deserve a good, healthy man who is ready to committ and merge lives with you. The soul knows that you'd be happier on your own, than with a man who causes you to feel lonely much of the time, like Ken does.

Let your soul lead your life and you will always be happy. The brain is never satisfied.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thanks so much Pam you've given me alot to think about. Your advice is very much appreciated i only hope i don't ever have to come back to learn more lessons it really sucks :)

Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
You're very, very welcome. You are a smart cookie, you're headed for a good place.

The good news is, once we absorb these lessons, we gain a sense of power, knowing that we'll see it coming next time, and know how to avoid it.

Please do remember to rate me and leave me feedback, it's important to me :)

Warmly,
Pam
pdheslin, Consultant
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 2634
Experience: 20+ years of internet site creation and search engine optimization. Dozens of search tools at my disposal.
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.


not sure on the smart thing as i still don't know what to look for next time or what to avoid i really don't know what i learned from ken- because he is such a wonderful person

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