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pdheslin
pdheslin, Consultant
Category: General
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Experience:  20+ years of internet site creation and search engine optimization. Dozens of search tools at my disposal.
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Hi Pam Heslin,Was wondering if you can help me out with

Resolved Question:

Hi Pam Heslin,

Was wondering if you can help me out with a sitaution. i was dating a guy Dan for about a month and we got into an argurment and now havent spoken for about a week.Can you tell me what he is thinking? and if/ when you see him reaching out to me again?
Thanks :)

Amy
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Josie-Mod replied 1 year ago.
Hi, I am a Moderator for this topic. I sent your requested Professional a message to follow up with you here, when they are back online. If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you I appreciate it :)
Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for requesting me, I appreciate it!

This is a man who is more in his head, then in his heart. Over thinking, over thinking, over thinking. That's what I hear when I check into his energy. He doesn't realize sometimes it's better to be kind, than to be "right". (I'm not saying he was right, just saying he thinks he is.) He has trouble feeling at the heart level, and if he did, he'd snap right back again.

I'm getting a feeling of communication around 2 weeks about this Amy. I'm also getting that this is not a great match for you. You need someone who understands how to feel compassion for what it is you argued about. He wasn't meeting your needs.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


I hear you... he def thinks he is right on this one.. he treated me really well tho :( does he even miss me at all? will he come back and apologize or not?

Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
This one has a hard time SEEING he was wrong, and then a hard time admitting it, even if he sees it.

Yes, he misses you, but he has a bruised ego, and his ego is very, very strong.

I don't see him "coming back and apologizing", no.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Ok thank you i appreciate ur honesty


 

Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
I'm not seeing an indication of what you fought about...perhaps you can educate him.


Do you mind telling me what you argued about?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


a gay guy wrote on my fb wall saying " xooxox " and i replied " miss you" and he got pissed off about it and i explained to him that the guy was gay . i just cant believe he hasnt talked to me, he was crazy about me or so i thought..

Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
Huge bruised ego. This is not about the other guy and your relationship with him.

This is about other people seeing you write, "miss you" to another man, and OTHER people not knowing the guy is just a friend.

It's his ego being bruised. He feels you didn't protect his reputation. What if two walked into a bar where all your friends were, and some girl came up and gave him kisses and hugs, and he told the other girl that he missed her, in front of all your friends? No one knows if the girl is gay, a cousin, just a friend or whatever.

You'd be embarassed....

Is there any chance that you would call him and apologize? Because it's better to be kind than to be right? ;-)
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

but you see this is where it get me upset..he did this all thru text when he was at work .. and i told him look im sorry for it coming across as something as its not but if u would have picked up the phone and talk to me i could explain this to you... but he said no i dont feel like talking..so i said " please call me when u can" and he normally calls me in the morning after work but he didnt. and then then that night i text him and i said" i guess this relationship means nothing to you if u cant even have a conversation with me" and he never wrote back nothing... i wanted to talk this out but he gave me no opportunity to he just shut me out.

Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
Texting is death to relationships. Relationships need 100% good communication. Not 60% not 70% not even 99%. Experts say that words are only 10% of all communication (the other 90 is tone of voice, facial expression, body language, etc.)

Both of you were "right" and both of you were "wrong". Telling him "if you would have" - anything no matter what, made him feel like you were putting it all on him. Don't feel bad - but that made it worse for him.

ONE of you needs to say, "here where I was wrong, and I'm sorry for how that made you feel. I know it may not change how you feel about me, but I owed you that apology and I so I wanted to make it."

This is the wonderful stuff of relationships.Undecided This is how trust is built, but having it broken. Everyone is so eager for relationships (in my business) but few people realize this is part of what has to happen in order to become closer.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


i totally agree i wish at least he would have talked to me on the phone but he didnt... now my ego is shot cuz he shut me out. i feel like he doesnt care.. even if i did explain myself i felt like he was angry and wouldnt want to hear it anyways..but u see him contacting me within two weeks? if thats the case i will wait to hear from him and then apologize for hurting his feelings .... but is it worth it? since u dont think he is a good match for me?

Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
They are showing me he is not right for the long term.
pdheslin, Consultant
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 2634
Experience: 20+ years of internet site creation and search engine optimization. Dozens of search tools at my disposal.
pdheslin and 143 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Sry for delay... Thank u for ur help :)
Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
You are very welcome my dear, and thank you for the kind rating, your feedback is important to you.

Your soul yearns to be fulfilled my child, you are here to reach the heights of your purpose -- and that you will. You will be with a man who will share the joy with you, not be those joys.

I'm here to help if you need more guidance or perspective.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

thank you i hope so... every guy i meet seems not to be the right guy even tho they seem like they are at first : / hopefully he will be here soon

Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
When you get to the point where you don't say "hopefully he will be here soon", and when you honestly are so comfortable with your own company, that you can say to yourself, "I don't care if I'm ever in a committed relationship again; I'll always have friends; I'll always be comfortable with my own company"....THEN the Universe will reward you in ways you've never imagined.

When you really don't feel that way...all the men that come into your life will "seem like they are" at first and then not really be. Make sense?

Let your own Spirit be your only spouse for now.

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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Lol yes I agree it's funny cuz I I usually get to that point n then bam someone walks into my life n my insecurities creep up again. I guess I need to work on it when I'm in a relationship as well
Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
And these are the lessons that we came here to learn. We came to evolve, spiritually, psychically, intellectually and more. When you absorb this truth as your own, you will learn to say "no" to what does not fit your true desires.

Sending out waves of angels love to you!!!!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks Pam right back at ya!:)

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