Hi Marie, and welcome to Just Answer.
I noticed that you posted quite a while ago and would like to thank you for your patience. Various experts are online at different times and I just logged in and read your question.
Your dream is very interesting, as it can indicate both chaos/destruction and rebuilding/wiping a slate clean, simultaneously. Typically, dreams about fire will evoke strong emotions relating to lust, envy and passion. The fact that you were stoking the fire to maintain it and keep it going shows that you have situations in your life that need to be kept up, they need constant work and care, in order for you to be successful and feel satisfied and accomplished.
Because you felt you caused this disaster and felt powerless to do anything about it, other people were coming to the rescue of the situation in doubt, and helping to put out the fire. This indicates that you may rely on other people to help you keep your life running smoothly and help you out of situations which may be too chaotic for just one person to handle. This does not indicate that you are unable to manage the situations, it simply shows that you cannot do everything yourself, when you take on too much at once.
The fact that this fire and grate reminded you of your grandmother's shows that you think about her often and have fond memories and fascination of watching her stoke the fire to keep it burning, providing warmth and security in your life.
Dreaming about a fire, in general, can be an indication of rebuilding; wiping a slate clean and starting from scratch, on a path for new growth in various areas of your life. It may also indicate that you need to clear up troubling issues that may be causing clutter in a relationship (work-related or personal). Things may need to be stated more succinctly and areas of trouble or lack of clarity must be talked out, discussed, and end with clarity being achieved by both parties, in order to avoid future misconceptions.
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