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pdheslin
pdheslin, Consultant
Category: General
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I feel vunerable because I dont know how to approach him.

Customer Question

I feel vunerable because I don't know how to approach him. How do I do that but also letting him know that it's a friendship? He takes everything I say like we are in a relationship.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: General
Expert:  pdheslin replied 2 years ago.
Kind honesty is the best policy. Not brutal honesty, or blunt honesty. You don't have to tell him your deepest private thoughts about him. But if you agree that friendship is the best thing, then you can something like:

I am grateful for your friendship. I can see now that I was feeling a little bit vulnerable and reaching out for a shoulder to lean on, and that I may have said some things that crossed a boundary or made you feel uncomfortable (or led you to think that I wanted something more from you.) I only want your friendship, nothing more.

I just want you to know that I value your friendship and that your support has always meant the world to me. That's all :)
pdheslin, Consultant
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 2634
Experience: 20+ years of internet site creation and search engine optimization. Dozens of search tools at my disposal.
pdheslin and 52 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you .....

Expert:  pdheslin replied 2 years ago.
You are welcome darling :)

All is well :)
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


I sent off an email a couple of days, expressing my friendship. Was it excepted well?

Expert:  pdheslin replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for requesting me again :)

Yes, I do see him smiling as he read it. It gave him a sense of comfort and relief that you still wanted to be friends with him. The only reason he didn't reply is that he didn't want to seem to change the tone of how you left things for now. He doesn't want to hurt you, and does not want you to possibly misinterpret or misunderstand (his hangup, not yours) anything that he might say, so he's playing it safe by not saying anything :)

I feel that you two will communicate over the holiday season. You did the right thing :)
pdheslin, Consultant
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 2634
Experience: 20+ years of internet site creation and search engine optimization. Dozens of search tools at my disposal.
pdheslin and 52 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I'm having a celebration of life for my late husband Nov. 24. Should I invite John?

Expert:  pdheslin replied 2 years ago.
I'm hearing very strongly that you should invite him, but remain open to him coming, or not coming.

He will be happy that you included him, and he'll be warmed by that simple act alone.

But I'm hearing that he won't make up his mind until the last minute because of other obligations around that time.

So release all expectations of the outcome and do invite him. The gesture will be very meaningful to him.
pdheslin, Consultant
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 2634
Experience: 20+ years of internet site creation and search engine optimization. Dozens of search tools at my disposal.
pdheslin and 52 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

That's what I thought too! Thank you again

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

FOR PAM....


I sent out the invitation and haven't heard anything...was it accepted well?

Expert:  pdheslin replied 2 years ago.
I'm seeing that he was suprised to receive it. It created a great deal of emotion in him, that he's not comfortable with. On one hand, he's so very honored that you sent it to him. He's conflicted about wanting to go, but thinking he "shouldn't".
He hasn't actually made a decision. He's trying to decide.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Why is he having difficulties deciding? Should I reach out to him?

Expert:  pdheslin replied 2 years ago.
He is having difficulties, because of the emotion connected to the whole situation. He doesn't do "grief" very well, do you connect to that with him?

He's worried he's going to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, send the wrong message.

I fear that if you reach out now, you may not get a response, so go ahead and reach out as long as it's a message TO him, not asking for a response.
pdheslin, Consultant
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 2634
Experience: 20+ years of internet site creation and search engine optimization. Dozens of search tools at my disposal.
pdheslin and 52 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


I understand....it's so hard.


 


Thank you

Customer: replied 2 years ago.


I wont reach out...I'm just really tired of it all...

Expert:  pdheslin replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your kindess.

Then you have to listen to what your gut is telling you right now, right or wrong. This is part of your path, to learn when to listen to that voice. Everything will be revealed in time -- it always is -- and you'll know if your decision was the best choice or not.

Focus on your own healing as in individual, without anyone there to distract or prop you up. You'll see how strong you are after all.

Warmly,
Pam
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


so I sent an email and feel better. Don't know if it's the right thing to but I did feel better. I hope my email was received warmly?

Expert:  pdheslin replied 2 years ago.
Your guides are saying that it was the right thing for your soul to do, no matter what his ideas about all this. There is nothing more to do, but to bring your thoughts and feelings back your own soul.

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pdheslin
pdheslin
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20+ years of internet site creation and search engine optimization. Dozens of search tools at my disposal.