How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask pdheslin Your Own Question

pdheslin
pdheslin, Consultant
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 2634
Experience:  20+ years of internet site creation and search engine optimization. Dozens of search tools at my disposal.
60622861
Type Your Question Here...
pdheslin is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

FOR PAM HESLIN ONLY Dear Pam Will you be my friend today? I

Resolved Question:

FOR PAM HESLIN ONLY
Dear Pam Will you be my friend today?
I am still not well – tried to go to work today, but went home or rather was sent home by my manager because she could see that I was not well. See the reason why I am not well is not just this virus thing, but also this triangle drama between N, the girl at the office and me. After our conversation the day before yesterday, I have been processing what you told me. In fact I have been crying all afternoon, emptying a box of Kleenex . Looking back I can see a lot of pieces falling into place. You already know that N and I were building up a fine friendship before the summer holiday, we confided in each other. I was looking for a friend during a really difficult period of my life. He was concerned and offered his help. He said “I will be here” and “My door is always open to you”. He was extremely pleased to see me after the summer, and we were hugging warmly and nicely. However, at that time I did not know that he had been intimate with the girl at the office. I just knew that he had missed me and was very happy to see me again. As you know I updated him and from that moment on he became distant. I thought he told a lie about a girlfriend – I know now that it was not a lie. He told me, what I told you earlier, that he had had this conversation with “this friend, friend – girlfriend” who had told him to be very aware of his behavior towards other people and also about how forthcoming you can be etc. while he was crying, fumbling with things on the table and so on, I realize now that it was the girl at the office who must have told him to back off of me. I am sure. The rest is history.
Remember what I told you the other day that N and I were sitting next to each at lunch (which we had not done for a long time) and we had a great time. I am sure the girl at the office did not approve of that (even though they are not in a relationship anymore – apparently). So the next day at lunch in the canteen, N and the girl at the office chose to sit at the farthest end of the table. She was being very self-centered in her talk plus speaking loudly, not including anybody but herself, N and the head of our department, i.e. the rest of us were not welcome in that conversation. N just followed her lead……
I was not at the office yesterday – I wonder if N has given that any thought as today I sensed from his looks/ body language (even with the back turned) some sort of concern or could it be embarrassment? He knows I am not well – I am sure he wants to know why – but does not make any step to talk to me – he sensed, too, that I was there - I am not saying that he connects my absence to the incidents in the canteen, but I know the way he is quite……
I miss N as my friend, I miss him and our conversations, I confided in him and told him very personal things about the hard times I have had in my life, I thanked him because he cared and wanted to listen to me. He confided in me, too. However, I guess that was not enough and that the girl at the office could offer something more. I remember the last time we spoke and he was very sad that day he said to me “Maybe you can help me” I replied “anytime, you just let me know”. Then the summer holiday came and he chose differently.
I want him back as my friend – I really do miss him. I am sure he still has feelings for me. What are they?
Can’t the guides help him a little on the way towards me? Or is that asking too much. I am really a nice and warm person. See Pam, I do not confide just in anybody – I am very careful about that as I have been hurt so many times. What can I do? Pray? I know we have been over this – you cannot force people to like you or come out of the bush – but I do not understand why it has to be this way? What have I done?
One last thing, I have a hunch that N and the girl at the office had some sort of controversy today. I am not sure what it is about – most probably work. Below, I will insert some strictly confidential information which is a request for a meeting today between N and the head of our department (N requested that):
Hi J,
I would need to talk to you following a meeting I had with G before she left today.
I hope you have the time this afternoon. Otherwise, please dedicate ½ hour at your convenience tomorrow but as early as possible. Thank you.
Kind regards N
What do you make of this? Today, she left much earlier than her calendar indicated. Usually she is very precise in updating everything so something tells me she left abruptly. Her calendar is also packed with meetings tomorrow.

Where will all this end? Will I get my friend back and will the girl at the office play a less important role in his life in the not so distant future?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Josie-Mod replied 1 year ago.
Hi, I am a Moderator for this topic. I sent your requested Professional a message to follow up with you here, when they are back online. If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi there Thank you for following up - I will be looking forward to hearing from Pam, hopefully soonSmile Many thanks Birgit

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Dear Pam - I hope you see this today - I increased the price Lots of love Birgit

Expert:  Michael Hannigan replied 1 year ago.
Hello, Birgit. My name is Michael. I understand that you have been waiting for Pam for a while and haven't yet heard back. If you don't hear back from Pam and would like me to be your friend, please let me know.

Mike
Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
Of course Birgit, thank you for waiting so patiently. I will look into the energies surrounding this and come back as soon as I get something....all will be well Birgit, I promise.
Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
Birgit, Dear, I am in contact with your Guides.

You have several Guides working with you, from birth into this plane, to passing to the next plane. Then you also have Guides who work with you for short periods of time, depending on what your particular needs, or lessons are at the time.

You have a guide working with you now, who is a healing guide. This guide is always around you, using her energy to blend with yours, to encourage your healing. She cannot interfere however without your permission because of your Free Will. However, she can encourage. This healing is not just physical, but it's emotional and spiritual as well.

This Guide is telling me to send her love to you, and tells you, "You feel me there when you light the fire". I'm not sure what that means, whether it's a candle, or a fire in fireplace, or whether you light a match or a lighter, but that's what I am supposed to tell you!

She wants me to tell you, that your virus is making you even more emotionally vulnerable than usual. She says that you are in a place where you are allowing the emotions to flood over you, and take control of all your thoughts. She says to me, that you are looking at every single tiny detail concerning N, and leaving no stone unturned. She shows me a vision of you, in a Sherlock Holmes hat and coat, complete with pipe, as you are looking, looking, looking for evidence. She says you need to stop being an "N Detective" and start looking at the space around you instead. She says that kind of attention to N, and trying to interpret every move, where he sits, what he says, every word to you, every word to others, every facial expression and trying to glean some important truth from it...will drive you bonkers, crazy, unhappy.

She tells me that you are on an important journey. That who you were when you married, is not who you are now. That you have changed. That you have lost part of yourself in your husband and your marriage. You lost a significant part of your "voice" in your husband. Now that you are reclaiming your life, your voice, your personal space, you must be very, very cautious, not to fantasize that a life with "N" would be main source of your personal satisfaction in life. That other internal work must be done before you can even have a chance of being happy in a relationship with another man. She cautions that you are so focused on "an other" (not yourself) that you are at risk for making some very important mistakes regarding your future. Unless you reclaim your authentic self first, no man will ever make you happy. I hope this makes sense to you.

I am also being shown, as a message, knitting, or crocheting, or some kind of yarn work. I don't know if this is you, or another family member, but I am being shown this as a message to you, to remember that you are never alone, and those on the Other Side are always with you, praying for you, encouraging you and watching with you.

Your Guides, your loved ones, myself, only want for you to be happy, and be healed, and fulfill the destiny that you came to live out, and that's the evolution of your own soul. And to that purpose, we are here to serve.

Warmly,
Pam

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Dear Pam this makes sense and is also true. I am too concerned about what hé thinks and it does not make mé feel any better. i know I have Got to work with myself first snd foremost to become the woman I want to be, free and independent, discovering the World. I would also LOVE to refind passion in life because there has been No passion in my life for years. I am in love with N and Will have to learn to control my feelings ;0) Bit Did the guide - I hope she does not hear me;0)- have any revelations at all about where I stand with him? Love Birgit
Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.

Dear Birgit she says, "where do you stand with yourself"?

I have the connection Birgit but if I use it to only answer questions like a robot then the gift if not of any value. Instead I use it to assit the guides, so that in the long run you will have more fufillment than any "relationship" can ever, ever, ever provide.

Look not to where you stand with him, but where you stand with your soul.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok I understand what you are saying - really I am. This is mé now, 1st grade, I Will working getting a hold on myself, finding the new me and also work on getting stronger. My energy level is really low and I feel a little sick. That has to stop. I dó not want to pressure you but when you say you have the connection then what dó you mean?
Is it Best that I just forget about him for a while so that I Can move on?
Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
Sometimes it's GOOD to go back to first grade :)

I have the energetic connection to the etheric plane, which is where the non-physical entities such as Guides do their work, and where angels come and go as well. It's also where our Other Side loved ones watch us. Our Guides know of our karmic soul contracts, they are in contact with our "higher selves" the part of us that still exists on the Other Side, in the non-phsyical.

You won't be able to forget about him, since he's in your daily life. But take a hold of your thoughts and put it all into perspective in the bigger picture. Don't be so hyper-focused on him and his every move, and then try to figure out how that word/action etc figures into your future with him. You're missing out on life if you do that -- not healthy my friend!

You have soul work to do. The Evolved Woman knows that a man is a helper and someone to share happiness with...not the source of happiness. That is where your Guide is trying to help you.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you very much Pam - actually I wrote a long message and it disappeared! First of All infanter to say that the message yoo passed on to mé from the guide was very beautiful and wise. Pls thank her - I Will also Thank her myself. I recognise sherlock thing - not healthy. About the candles - I light a candle every Day and when I dó I think of my mother, father and also the guides, God. The knitting or yarn work could be my ex sister in llaw WHO was here toddy with her daugther bringing mé the curtains she ade for mé and my daughter. I know that there are people out there WHO cares. The next couple of months I appointments with friends on Going to the Cinema, museums etc. Doing things I used to dó. I am also going to start taking zumba fitness Dance lessons next week ;0) so I am working on it ;0) I am also taking the work with my coach seroisly and I sm excited to hear her test feedback on mé next time we meet as this Will be the Foundation of the work we are going to dó with mé. Yes I have changed. And there Will be more change. I dó realize that I need to erase N from my mind and yes I Will not be able to forget about him. I would just like to know is, did hé just play with mé - was I just a character in a morbid game or did hé really Care? And is it for the Best that I just (try) to wipe him completely out of my mind as neither him or it would dó mé any good. I Can take the truth. Or does hé still care? I promise regardless of the answer to this i Will continue working with myself and focus on whatelet matters for mé and my own good now since I dó not want to disappoint the guides or make Them cross. Love Birgit

















Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.
My dear friend, your Guide sees your message and knew of your gratitude before you wrote it <3 <-- heart

No, he was not merely playing a sadistic game, he needed to connect to another human being at those moments, for his own healing as well, you graced him with that connection. That's the start. So it was real, very real.

There are also very real barriers that you must over come, in your Guides' eyes, in your Soul's eyes and his eyes too. You're not free yet. You haven't fully grieved your marriage yet. Good or bad, it must be grieved. You can't roll out of one thing and then into another. It's just not healthy. And, it's not healthy to focus on "other" people when you need to be focusing on Birgit. Lovely, beautiful, warm, loving Birgit. A woman you hardly know...and need to re-aquaint yourself with, so you can learn of your own power and creativity. If you don't do that first, you will not play fair in any relationship, nor will you demand the best that you deserve. If you skip that part dear Birgit, not even Prince Charming will be able to make you happy.

Yes, he cares. But he sees what you do not: You are not ready yet.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hugs and kissses on the chick to you and my guide. I know you are right, I need to grieve, i need to work on mé for me but certainly also for my daughter's sake - she is so sweet Pam. I want to embrace the World, find the new mé and also get that Challenge at work which I belive I deserve. We Will get back to that ;0) thanks for everyting - i hope i May return to let you know how things progress. Where Can I can I get touch with you. A's mentioned earlier I would like to have my work horoscope done for 2013 - whatelet is your fed for this and where should I send my request to? Lots of warm thoughts and love Birgit



Expert:  pdheslin replied 1 year ago.

I can give you an overview of 2013 based on your sun sign (Gemini) and your rising sign (Aquarius) and I can tell you now the focus will be on your career and work relationships, interestingly enough!

It's a short overview because this venue does not allow for a true, complete analysis of your entire chart. It would be valued at 60 usd. If you would like that, please let me know :)

I hope this helps...if this has been helpful please do rate my positively :)

Much love

pdheslin, Consultant
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 2634
Experience: 20+ years of internet site creation and search engine optimization. Dozens of search tools at my disposal.
pdheslin and 128 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Dear Pam you have been wonderful. Thanks both to you and my guide(s) for all the support and advice you have given me. When I light my candle today I will send everyone who cares about mé, including you, warm and thankful thoughts ;0) I will rate you now and send your fee. Besides I Will post the question for my work horoscope for 2013 at the price of USD 60. If possible I should be pleased if you could have it ready by 23 October (this is the day I am meeting with my coach) Lots of hugs and love Birgit

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Ron

    ASE Certified Technician

    Satisfied Customers:

    21373
    23 years with Ford specializing in drivability and electrical and AC. Ford certs and ASE Certs
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/FO/fordguy4u/2011-12-17_222940_HPIM1257.64x64.JPG Ron's Avatar

    Ron

    ASE Certified Technician

    Satisfied Customers:

    21373
    23 years with Ford specializing in drivability and electrical and AC. Ford certs and ASE Certs
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/lyeung1/2010-07-25_032152_tn_IMG_0241.JPG Dr. Y.'s Avatar

    Dr. Y.

    Urologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    18475
    I am fellowship trained specializing in general urology and reconstructive urology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/docjohn174/2008-12-13_170143_johnask.jpg John's Avatar

    John

    Home Appliance Technician

    Satisfied Customers:

    13453
    Appliance repair business owner for over 43 years.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/MU/multistatelaw/2011-11-27_173951_Tinaglamourshotworkglow102011.64x64.jpg Tina's Avatar

    Tina

    Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    8541
    JD, BBA Over 25 years legal and business experience.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/dermdoc19/2010-09-30_160749_Photo_122807_015.JPG dermdoc19's Avatar

    dermdoc19

    Dermatologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3882
    30 years practice in general and cosmetic dermatology
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/BI/birddoctor/2012-6-22_173214_birddoctor.64x64.png Dr. Pat's Avatar

    Dr. Pat

    Bird Veterinarian

    Satisfied Customers:

    3417
    25+ years working primarily or exclusively with birds
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RY/rydergar/2012-6-6_192240_IMG0328.64x64.JPG Dr. Gary's Avatar

    Dr. Gary

    Cat Veterinarian

    Satisfied Customers:

    3325
    DVM, Emergency Veterinarian, BS (Physiology)