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Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18881
Experience:  M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
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Cher, im wondering if u can retype your answer from the last

Customer Question

Cher, i'm wondering if u can retype your answer from the last question I asked u this morning?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.

Hi again, Stephanie and thanks for requesting me.

You posted your other request in 'Computers' and I'm not an expert in that category, so I couldn't respond.

Let me see if I can access that question and answer and I'll get back to you shortly.

Thanks for your patience.

Best regards,
Cher

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.

Hi again, Stephanie.

Here is the last answer I sent you:

You gave him some very good advice, and yes, I think he may be using it against you. While he may not be able to keep many (or any) friends, I think he has a mind like a steel trap. Oh yes, he remembered what you said about walls and it's quite ironic, in a karmic sense.

I think he was putting up walls, way before you advised him to do that, but he's definitely doing that, now, and figures if you want to have him in your life, you need to 'work' at it a little more. I do believe you will continue to have contact with him in the future, but not on a steady basis. I feel strongly, from doing a 'reading of your future' that he will continue to be a part of your life but you will have to make most of the contact. He does have those walls up and you will need to work at tearing them down in a slow, methodical way, if you want him to be part of your life. A lot remains to be seen, due to his type of personality, but I do feel that you have not seen the last of him. He does have some positive energy around him, too, even though most of his actions seem to indicate otherwise.

I hope you're having a great Friday!! : )

 

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Bonuses are always welcomed and appreciated!
Laughing

Best regards,
Cher

Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18881
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 123 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I JUST RATED U AGAIN, R U GETTING THESE QUESTIONS? I'M HAVING DIFFICULTIES ON MY END.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

DID U GET THE QUESTION ABOUT ME AND MY NEW FRIEND KERRY THE COP?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

WHAT DOES A MIND LIKE A STEEL TRAP MEAN? IF HE IS MAKING ME WORK FOR THIS WHAT'S THE POINT? U SAID HE WOULD BE IN MY LIFE IF I MAKE CONTACT WITH HIM WILL IT ALWAYS BE LIKE THAT. IF HE IS A CONTROL FREAK WON'T HE BE THE ONE TRYING TO CONTROL ME? DO U EVER SEE HIM AND I MORE THAN FRIENDS IF HE EVER GETS NORMAL?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.

Hi again, Stephanie.

Yes, I received your Excellent rating and I thank you very much. It's greatly appreciated!

I'm sorry you're experiencing some difficulties on your end. We were told that the site problems from last night and earlier today were now fixed, so I hope that will remain the case.

I need to ask that you please don't request me on any old questions, because I explained that I am not able to answer in all categories. You posted your last request to an old question where I can't send you a reply, which is frustrating for both of us, so, please post your questions here, and then I can reply. Thanks for understanding! : )

I did read your other post and I think it's great that you made a new friend and will be able, in this way, to get more insight into the lives and interactions with cops. I do feel that Kerry and you will remain friends and will have a lot in common and a lot to talk about. I think it was fate that you met her tonight! She will be a big help to you in the future, providing some inside insight about her 'former' profession, etc. I do get a very positive feeling about you and Kerry becoming close; I think its kismet that you met at this game!

I'm so glad you were a proud mom tonight and enjoyed the game so much! You're daughter is a very lucky girl and you're a very lucky mom! I can understand your apprehension as she was tossed up into the air!! lol

I had just sent this when I read your additional post.

 

A mind like a steel trap means he never forgets anything; he stores away all information and uses it when needed. I feel that he will be part of your life on and off but you will be the one to make contact since he does not. I do see you and he as more than friends at some point in the future, if he works on resolving his problems and acts in a more traditional way. The control vibes he's giving off, I'm feeling are more intended to have you get in touch with him, when you think of him or feel like it.

 

 

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

If you should experience any problem with the ratings system, please reply back to let me know and I will have it taken care of for you.


Best regards,
Cher

Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18881
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 123 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

THANKS CHER, YES, I'M SUCH A PROUD MOM. EVERYONE THAT KNOWS MY KIDS ALWAYS SAY HOW AWESOME THEY R I FEEL THAT'S A DIRECT REFLECTION OF OUR PARENTING. I HAVE A STORY TO TELL U. I SENT ALL THE PARENTS AND FRIENDS A GENERAL TEXT IT SAID, HEY EVERYONE! THE SHARKS WON THEIR 1ST HOME GAME OF THE SEASON! IT'S KAYLA'S LAST YEAR AS A CHEERLEADER. SHE GOT TO CHEER THEM ON TO THEIR FIRST WIN OF THE SEASON. C U ALL AT THE NEXT GAME. KAYLA'S CAPTAIN THIS YEAR HELP HER CHEER THE TEAM ON. LOL IT WENT OUT TO EVERYONE INCLUDING THE COP. SO, TONIGHT OR IN THE MORNING HE WILL C THIS ON HIS PHONE. WHAT DO U THINK OF THIS? I DIDN'T MEAN TO SEND IT TO HIM BUT AT LEAST HE KNOWS HOW GREAT AND HAPPY I AM. ALSO, WHERE I'LL BE NEXT FRIDAY NIGHT. WHAT DO U THINK HE WILL THINK WHEN HE GETS THIS? WILL HE BE MAD HE RECEIVED THIS EVEN THOUGH HE KNOWS IT WAS SENT TO EVERYONE NOT JUST HIM SO, WILL HE BE EITHER MAD HE RECEIVED IT OR, WILL IT BOTHER HIM AT ALL I'M LIVING A GREAT LIFE? DO U THINK HE WILL THINK HE LOST OUT ON SOMETHING .

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

ALSO. U AGREE THAT HE REMEMBERS WHAT I SAID WHEN WE FIRST MET? KEEP YOUR WALLS UP MAKE THEM FIGHT FOR IT. MY DAD SAYS HE DOSEN'T REMEMBER THIS BECAUSE GUYS DON'T REMEMBER THINGS LIKE THAT. HOW DO U C US SPENDING TIME TOGETHER IF I DON'T GO NEAR HIM AND HE STAYS AWAY FROM ME?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

r u there?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.

Hi again, Stephanie and thanks so much for requesting me.

You're most welcome! It's the truth!

I think the text was great! It only proved you're a proud mom!

I feel that at first, he will say, 'What the heck?' and not understand why you chose to send it to him, but if he sees it was a 'mass' texting to many people, he'll put 2 and 2 together. However, I do feel he may think there was 'something' behind it, like another chance at contact.

Nothing wrong with sending it to him. I'm feeling that the more you are 'in front' of him, reminding him you're there, the more he may think of you. This would bode well for the future, if you want him to be more a part of your life.

I think he will be jealous that you're living a great life. It's very different from his and he may feel he lost out, not only because he's not closer with YOU, but because he doesn't have kids, etc. I don't remember you mentioning any kids. I think he feels he lost out on that, too. I feel he thinks he'd make a great dad, but karma says he wouldn't. Too self-absorbed.

Guys usually don't remember these things (re: walls), but my sixth sense tells me that he did remember this, because it was important.

 

If you keep insinuating yourself in his life, I feel he will begin to think of you more and be intrigued by you and want to know what's going on. This is just a feeling I have re: your future. However, remember, it's not written in stone. You create your own destiny.

 

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
I just added to my answer to cover your last question. please re-read.......thanks!

Cher
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Y WAS THE WALLS UP THING IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR HIM TO REMEMBER THIS ABOUT ME? I SAID IT THINKING I WOULD NEVER C HIM AGAIN I'M SURE HE THOUGHT THE SAME. SO, Y WOULD HE REMEMBER IT. WE DIDN'T REALLY START HANGING OUT ABOUT A WEEK AND HALF LATER. THAT'S A LOT OF TIME TO REMEMBER SOMETHING SO TRIVIAL. BUT, U THINK HE REMEMBERED THIS COMMENT EVEN TO THIS DAY.

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

The reason I feel he remembered it is because it resonated with him. It rang true. He knows he does these things. When you brought it to his attention, he remembered it because it describes his past and future actions and you pegged him right away.

Just because you thought you'd never see each other again, doesn't mean he didn't listen to what you had to say. I feel it's something that's important to him and that's why he remembered it.

It pretty much described his pathway in life, regarding love. He makes his own Karma through his actions. I feel it struck him as true, when he reflected on it and that's why he remembered it and hasn't forgotten. Will he change because of it? My sixth sense says 'no'; he's not capable of such a drastic change in a short period of time. CAN he change? I feel yes, but he has to work at it and needs a lot of support and help doing it. Change is very difficult, especially for him. His energies are usually negative. He needs to add more positive to his life.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18881
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 123 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Thanks very much for your Excellent rating, Stephanie, it is greatly appreciated!

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

DO U THINK HE WANTS ME TO GET HIS WALL DOWN? I WASN'T SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT CHANGING HIM I WAS TRYING TO SAY HEY IF YOUR NOT SURE ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY CARE FOR U MAKE THEM FIGHT FOR IT. DO U THINK HE IS DOING ALL THIS GAME PLAYING TO C IF I'LL FIGHT FOR IT? OR HE JUST FIGURES I WANT HER OUT OF MY LIFE SO I WON'T EVER CONTACT HER AGAIN?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

R U STILL UP CHER?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, R U GETTING THESE QUESTIONS? I'M HAVING PROBLEMS HERE.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

R U STILL THERE?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

No, I don't think he is game playing to see if you'll fight for it. You gave him the advice, but he didn't think it was to use for or against you. If he wanted you out of his life and decided to never contact you again, I think his reaction to your call would have been different. My feeling is that he doesn't want you completely out of his life; he knows you're there and he can see you if he feels like it. Right now, he's not thinking of seeing anyone, but that will change sometime in the future. I feel you made an impression on him and he will want to see you again.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

DID U GET THE CONTROL FREAK QUESTION?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi Stephanie,

No, I didn't get that one.

Regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I just sent it again. i would like to understand the capital letters part. If they take their friendship away and they want u to feel the loss don't they have to come back to c if u feel the loss? otherwise what's the point the would just walk away from everyone. is this what he did to me took our friendship away never to return so i feel the loss?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

ALSO, I SENT U A QUESTION ABOUT IF HE AND I HAVE SUCH DIFFERENT LIVES CAN HE STILL RELATE TO HOW HAPPY I AM. I WANT HIM TO C ONE THESE TEXTS AND SAY WOW 16 YEARS OLD A FULL-RIDE SCHOLARSHIP. 17 YEARS OLD CHEERLEADING CAPTAIN NOW SHE IS RUNNING FOR HOMECOMING QUEEN. YES, I WILL SEND OUT ANOTHER MASS TEXT TO HIM TO LET HIM KNOW HE EVERYONE VOTE FOR KAYLA FOR QUEEN. HE WOULD HAVE TO BE IMPRESSED. SO, NEXT FRIDAY THE GAME SATURDAY THE PARTY DO U THINK HE'LL THINK THIS GIRL ISN'T EVEN THINKING OF ME SHE'S LIVING HER LIFE. I WANT HIM TO KNOW THAT I HAVE THIS AMAZING LIFE THAT HE IS NOT IN AND I HAVE BEEN STAYING AWAY FROM HIM. CAN SOMEONE LIKE HIM THINK SOMEONE LIKE ME CAN BE THIS HAPPY AFTER ALL I HAVE BEEN THRU. I WANT HIM TO THINK WOW, IF HE DID LEAVE FOR ME TO FEEL THE LOSS OF HIM THAN HIS PLAN DIDN'T WORK. DO U THINK TODAY HE WILL BE THINKING A LOT ABOUT ME? THE H.S. IS ABOUT 1 MILE FROM MY HOUSE HE SEES IT EVERYDAY TO HE HAS TO PATROL THAT AS WELL?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, R U STILL UP? I SENT THAT CONTROL FREAK QUESTION AGAIN.

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

If the friendship is taken away, no, I don't think he would return to see if you feel the loss. I'm picking up that it just doesn't mean anything to him. He has his own agenda, he does something and forgets about it. He doesn't have any thoughts about going back to see how it affected the other person or other people. Knowing he did it, is enough for him. He doesn't feel the need to go back and see the aftermath. He already knows what it is and how it will affect people.

It's late and I have to say goodnight now. Sleep well!

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher
Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi Stephanie,

I was writing my other answer when you posted again.

Yes, I think all this 'publicity' about how well your daughter is doing and how you are an involved mom is making him think about what his life is missing and he sees how great your life is. I feel it makes him think about you more, and may make him feel he wants to get to know you better, but I'm sensing that he has so many of his own problems now, he can't give much thought to what's going on in your life. He may even be jealous, but his life is his life; it's boring, he's working very hard and is not a happy person. I feel he has trouble being happy for others because he is not happy.

I need to sign offline for the night now. Hope you have a great night!

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18881
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 123 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

i JUST RATED U AGAIN! I HOPE THIS HELPS U. HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your Excellent rating, Stephanie. It's greatly appreciated!

Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX a good night, too!

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, I ASKED A QUESTION TO U LAST NIGHT I DON'T THINK U GOT IT. YES, HE TOOK HIS FRIENDSHIP AWAY. BUT I GUESS I WILL NEVER C HIM AGAIN BECAUSE LIKE U SAID THEY DON'T LOOK BACK AT WHAT HE HAS DONE THEY JUST MOVE ON. THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DID AND THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM. THAT'S THEIR CONTROL. I GUESS I GET IT NOW HE KNEW IT WOULD BOTHER ME TO JUST LEAVE LIKE THAT WITH NO EXPLANATION. SO, I GUESS HE IS HAPPY NOW. I JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT IT FOR WHAT IT IS. I WISH I COULD TRY TO MAKE THIS RIGHT DO U THINK I'LL EVER GET THE CHANCE? OR IS IT JUST WAY TOO LATE BECAUSE, HE KNOWS HE WILL NEVER LOOK BACK?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi Stepanie,

I hope you had a nice Saturday!

No, I don't believe that question ever came through.

I agree with your thinking on this one, but my feeling is that I sense he doesn't put all that much thought into these things, so it's like he's not acting in a certain way on purpose, as you think. His personality has been determined. Most of the things he does are to make HIM happy.

Right now, you don't have to feel like you need to make things right, but I do sense that sometime in the future, you will have the chance to see him again and speak to him again. It could be a chance meeting, it could be planned, but I do feel you will get to say the things you want to, to him, at some time in the future.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18881
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 123 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Cher, so he's happy right now because he did this to me just walked away. But, i had to have done something to just make him walk away. do u think when he thinks of me he's happy at what he did? Also, u think i'll c him again to talk to him if he is happy at what he did to me then he wont talk to me he's happy. So, i guess i need to be prepared that if i do c him he will just tell me please don't talk to me. i have nothing to do with u for a reason. Do u think he would say something like that or do u think he would have already told me that by now. But, he's happy with what he did i just have to accept it. do u think he is a little sad about what he did? Or is it all about him and the control?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie and thanks very much for your Excellent rating; it is greatly appreciated!

I wanted to let you know I'm working on your answer and will need a few minutes to ponder it and get it to you.

Thanks!
Cher
Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.

Hi again, Stephanie.

I feel it's always about him and the control. I also feel he thinks of himself only, and what's good for him, most often.

When I envision you two in the future, I do think he will speak to you and will not tell you to please not speak to him. If he wanted to do that, he could have, when you called and caught him off guard the other day.

The thing is, I don't think he thinks about these things. While you're giving it so much thought, he's not. I don't think he's happy or sad about what he did, because he doesn't think he did anything. If you're referring to him just stopping the communication/walking away, then yes, he did do something odd and selfish, which is not uncharacteristic for his personality. But, I do not sense that he gives the situation much thought, so he's neither happy nor sad about it. In other words, I don't sense that he feels 'victorious' about his behavior.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18881
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 123 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

THEN, Y WON'T HE TALK TO ME? IF HE JUST WALKED AWAY ON HIS OWN ? DOES HE NOT THINK ABOUT ME AT ALL ANYMORE? I WISH HE MISSED AT LEAST TALKING TO ME. SO, HE JUST USED ME FOR A SHORT TIME ALTHOUGH I DON'T KNOW WHAT FOR AND THEN HE HAD ENOUGH OF ME. HE JUST LEFT. NOW HE THINKS NOTHING OF ME?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

No, I don't feel he doesn't think of you at all, but does, sometimes, especially while he's patroling your street. He knows you live there and I think you do come to his mind, at times. It's difficult to logically figure out why he cut the communication after he seemed to have such a good time talking to you. YOU didn't change from the person he enjoyed talking to, but when he came back from vacation, something happened to make a change in HIM. Since there is no logical explanation, we must think of this in a more spiritual way. I feel he experienced something painful or disturbing when he went home for vacation and when he came back he was a changed person.

Keep your promise to wait until you get your settlement and then you will flaunt your great life and what he missed out on, if he chooses not to communicate before then.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, I HAVE WROTE THIS QUESTION 4 TIMES NOW. IT'S NOT GOING THROUGH. I MET MY FRIEND BECKY'S NEW HUSBAND TODAY. HE KNOWS A LOT OF COPS. BUCK IS HIS NAME. HE SAID EXACTLY WHAT U SAID, AND HE DOSEN'T KNOW I TALK TO U. HE SAID HE HAS SERIOUS MENTAL CONDITIONS THAT U AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND. BUCK SAID, HE HAS TO FIX HIMSELF. HE SAID U PISSED HIM OFF BEFORE HE WENT ON VACATION. THAT I PROBABLY SAID SOMETHING WRONG TO HIM SOMETHING THAT A NORMAL PERSON WOULDN'T THINK ABOUT BUT, HE'S SO DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW HE WON'T COME AROUND. I THINK THAT IS SO FUNNY U BOTH SAID THE SAME THING. EXCEPT BUCK SAID THE COP WILL BE BACK FOR THE MONEY, HE SAID, IT'S HUMAN NATURE TO WANT MONEY. HE SAID IT WILL BE BEFORE THE LAWSUIT IS OVER SO HE CAN ACT LIKE I WAS HERE BEFORE THE MONEY. HE SAID, SO HE CAN COME IN AND ACT ALL NICE EVERYTHING IS GREAT THEN GET TO ENJOY IT. I SAID, NO HE WON'T BE BACK EVER. HE SAID, YES HE WILL I KNOW THIS TYPE OF PERSON. IT'S A GAME HE'S PLAYING. HE WILL BE BACK.I KNOW U DON'T THINK THE MONEY IS A FACTOR BUT I AGREE THAT IT IS HUMAN NATURE TO WANT MONEY. MAYBE HE CAN ALWAYS SAY, I DIDN'T GO TO HAWAII SO THAT PROVES I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY. DO U THINK HE HAS A GIRL PAYING ALL OF HIS BILLS RIGHT NOW AND THAT'S Y WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS? DO U THINK HE WOULD LET SOME GIRL PAY HIS BILLS? I THINK HE JUST HAS A NEW FRIEND THAT WON'T ALLOW HIM TO TALK TO ME. BUCK WAS LIKE U HE DIDN'T THINK THERE WAS A NEW FRIEND HE SAID, THE COP KNOWS HE'S IN A DARK PLACE. DO U THINK HE WOULD LISTEN IF SOMEONE TOLD HIM NOT TO TALK TO ME? WHAT DO U THINK OF WHAT BUCK SAID?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

I'm sorry you had trouble getting the question to go through; sometimes the system is a little wonky, but it seems alright now.

I think Buck is a smart guy. He agreed with what I said and what I predicted, so I think he's right. I don't sense that he is with anyone right now. He is not in the right place to be with anyone now. He IS disturbed and I do feel something happened right before, during or after his vacation, that's why he stopped communicating.

He might be back for the money, as this is what you thought all along, but I don't feel he's thinking about that now. He is only concentrating on himself and getting himself out of this lousy situation; those are the vibes I'm picking up about him.

I'm going to have to say goodnight now, because it's late and I'm signing offline.

Have a great night!

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, I FEEL VERY STRONGLY HE DOSEN'T TALK TO ME BECAUSE OF THAT PIECE OF PAPER ON ME. IF HE RAN MY NAME ON HIS COMPUTER. MY DAD SAID, HE RAN THAT WAY BEFORE U EVER WENT OUT. THE PAPER SAID, MY HUSBAND WAS TRYING TO GET ME BAKER RACKED BUT, IT BACKED FIRED BECAUSE THE DOCTOR COULD PROVE THERE WAS NOTHING IN ME AND I WASN'T DEPRESSED. I KNOW IT WOULD BE ILLEGAL FOR HIM TO RUN ME BEING THAT ONLY COPS COULD DO THAT BUT, I KNOW HE DID. I FEEL THOUGH THAT MY DAD IS RIGHT THOUGH. BUT, EVEN IF THAT WERE THE CASE HE CAN READ WHAT THE REPORT SAID AND HOW IT BACKFIRED ON HIM. BUT, HE HAS AN ARREST ON HIS BACKGROUND AND THAT'S A LOT WORSE? WHAT DO U THINK? U THINK IT COULD BE THAT OR JUST THE FACT THAT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIM? DO U THINK THAT HE HAS A NEW FRIEND PAYING HIS BILLS RIGHT NOW? DO U THINK HE WOULD LET A GIRL PAY HIS BILLS? DON'T U AGREE THAT WHEN HE PATROLS MY NEIGHBORHOOD HE THINKS OF ME THEN HE THINKS OF THE LAWSUIT? THAT WOULD JUST MAKE SENSE. U SAID, EARLIER I WILL SPEAK TO HIM AGAIN BECKY AND BUCK AGREE BUT, THEY FEEL HE WILL STAY AROUND, SO THE NEXT TIME I C HIM OR TALK TO HIM U THINK IF I TRY TO LET HIM KNOW I'M HERE FOR HIM WE MAY START HANGING OUT AGAIN? DO U THINK THAT HE HAS TO GET HIS HEAD TOGETHER FOR ME? I MEAN DO U THINK HE THINKS HE HAS TO HAVE SOMETHING TO OFFER? I THINK JUST BEING A GOOD PERSON IS ENOUGH FOR ANYONE. ALSO, THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART DO U AGREE WITH BUCK, THAT YES, HIS HEAD IS ALL MESSED UP BUT, THIS IS ALL A GAME? HE FOCUSED WAY TO MUCH ON THE MONEY THAT SAID IT ALL. BUCK SAID FOR SURE THIS IS A GAME DO U AGREE? HAVE A GREAT NIGHT. THANKS FOR EVERY THING LOL

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi Stephanie,

I'm supposed to be offline by now.......I will send you an answer to this tom'w, okay? : )

Goodnight.
Cher
Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

I do think he could have run a background report on you just because of his position. He has access to things we don't. Did he do it? Probably not. I don't get the feeling that he did it or thought of doing it. At first I had the feeling this was a game, but except for the money, he really has no reason to be playing a game. I don't feel at this time, he has a girlfriend or any woman paying his bills. Yes, I definitely agree that because his head is messed up he feels he can't get involved with anyone now and that may be a big part of why he hasn't communicated. I feel if you were to let him know you were there for him, he might soften and 'want' to confide in someone, but I'm sensing he's just not able to, at this time. For the moment, you'll have to be patient and take one day at a time. You made the last contact, you invited him to the party and it's his turn to contact you. If you don't want to stand on ceremony, you can always contact him whenever you want, but if he does say again, 'I can't talk now' or it's a bad time, you won't get to say what you want to say. I feel for the moment, it's best to let things remain the way they are and just take each moment for what it is. I do think he thinks of you when he patrols your area, but feels he can't do anything about it right now. Give him more time and see what happens.

I hope you're having a great Sunday!

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, I'M HAVING A GREAT SUNDAY. I HOPE U R TO? THAT IS GREAT ADVISE DAY BY DAY. I LIVE THAT WAY NOW BECAUSE OF THIS PAST YEAR. DO U THINK I DID SOMETHING TO HIM OR HE IS JUST IN A BAD PLACE? HOW DOES YOUR 6TH SENSE WORK IF U HAVE NEVER SCENE ME OR HIM? DOES YOUR ABILITIES WORK AS STRONG ON THE COMPUTER AS IT DOES IN PERSON? IF U DID ANOTHER READING WOULD IT BE DIFFERENT THAN THE LAST ONE? I KNOW WE MAKE OUR OWN DESTINY. THAT'S Y I CHOOSE MY DIVORCE, MY LAWSUIT. ONE LAST THING I HAVE TO READ 50,000 TEXT MESSAGES AND LOOK AT 300 PICTURES FOR THIS LAWSUIT. HE SAYS THEY DID NOT HAVE SEX IT WAS JUST AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR DO U THINK THEY HAD ANY FORM OF SEXUAL CONTACT? I COULD TRY TO WORK THIS OUT IF THEY DIDN'T HAVE SEX. HOW BAD DO U THINK THEY WILL BE?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi Stephanie,

Yes, my Sunday is going great, thanks for asking!

I don't think you did anything wrong to him; he's just in a bad place and has been, for a while.

I'm able to tune into people's energies even though I can't see them or touch them. I can picture them. In person would be better, but we're only allowed to communicate on the site, so we're limited. I feel since the circumstances didn't change, the reading would be the same, but I would be happy to do another reading for you; however, it would have to be later on tonight, as I am headed out, soon.

I feel he may be telling the truth about the sex part, but I need to think about this more.

Would it be alright with you if we continued this later tonight? I really have to sign offline soon. Thanks for understanding! Laughing

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18881
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 123 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, THAT WOULD BE GREAT. I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW JUST HOW BAD U THINK THEY R? AND HOW MUCH OF IT I HAVE TO READ OR HEAR ABOUT IT? I TOLD MY LAWYER AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE I CAN'T AFFORD ANY SETBACKS. SO , IF U CAN DO A READING ABOUT THOSE TEXTS. ANS MY FUTURE WITH MY X AND THE COP. PLUS HOW MUCH MONEY DO U C ME GETTING? THANKS A LOT TALK TO U LATER.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, I'M HERE. HAVE U DONE MY CARDS YET? I WOULD APPRECIATE IT.

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
I'm still not home, sorry....it will be a couple of hours. I will answer ASAP.
Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.

Hi agan, Stephanie and thanks so much for your patience.

I just got in. Doing your readings now.

Unfortunately, you or whomever you designate, is going to have to read most of the text messages--it could make or break your case. These are text messages between your ex and the other woman, correct? More about this, below.

The first card I chose for you is the Page of Swords. This usually refers to a person who has a sharp mind, acts cool and thinks deeply. He's usually secretive and analytical and tends to make decisions based on logic. He appears unemotional, even when he's happy or sad; is not very sensitive to the feelings of others. He can be deceitful and spread gossip, even when he doesn't realize this will be hurtful to others.

I feel this card is referring to the cop. Sharp mind, but sticks to himself, basically. May hurt others, but not on purpose; doesn't think before he speaks. I know nothing about your ex, but this may describe him and some of his actions, too. This means that misunderstandings, petty gossip and deceit are at the root of the problems with both of these men in your life and involved in the suit.

The second card I chose for you is the Seven of Cups. This represents a situation where many choices are possible. You need to choose the most logical and practical one to attain the outcome you want and fulfill your desires. The danger here, is making the choice to do what needs to be done, following the correct path. If you don't make a sensible, logical, methodical decision to do something in the matter at hand, you could get a raw deal. I believe this represents the suit and that's why you must read all or as many of the texts as possible and make sure everything that needs to come to light which will benefit YOU, will be presented for the suit.

The third card is The Knight of Wands. This is a very good omen in your suit and the amount of money you will receive. This card will always show when there are to be big changes made in one's life and also indicates a change of residence in the near future (your big beach house??). It may also signify the taking of a long journey (Hawaii?). The high energy this Knight demonstrates may cause people to feel they must act quickly, but this should not be done if it means in the rush, all details are not checked carefully, first. In other words, don't rush anything in your life right now, with the cop, your ex, the suit. Positive energy is with you, as we suspected all along, but the details are very important (another reason to read the texts). The amount of money may be in the 6-7 figure range, but this is typically difficult to predict with any precision, considering the circumstances.

 

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, GREAT READING. DO U THINK THE TEXTS R GOING TO BAD? YES, THERE BETWEEN MY X AND THE MISTRESS (MY BOSS). I MEAN R THEY GOING TO BE SEXUAL OR PUTTING ME DOWN A LOT AS A WIFE AND PERSON. DO U THINK WHEN U SAID, 6-7 RANGE IT WILL THAT BE IN THE HIGH 6 FIGURES? ALSO, MY X IS NOT LIKE THE COP. HE'S QUIET, DOSEN'T GOSSIP, GREAT FATHER BUT DOSEN'T SHOW A LOT OF EMOTIONS. HE IS LOVING ESPECIALLY TO HIS KIDS. BUT, MOST IMPORTANTLY HE IS CHEAP! DOSEN'T EVER WANT TO SPEND A DIME. I WILL SPEND. ALL MY MONEY GOES TO MY CHILDREN. THAT'S WOW IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE WHEN U HAVE KIDS RIGHT? THE WORSE THE TEXT MESSAGES R THE MORE MONEY I GET SO CAN U TELL ME IF THERE GOING TO BE BAD? ALSO, DOES IT TELL U WHEN ALL OF THIS WILL HAPPEN? BUT, WITH THE COP DOES IT SAY WHEN I'LL C HIM AGAIN? AND HOW IT WILL IT GO? OR WILL HE STAY IN MY LIFE AS A FRIEND OR MORE? I RATED U AGAIN YESTERDAY DID U GET IT? I'LL CHECK BACK WITH U LATER HAVE A GREAT LABOR DAY! TAKE CARE LOL.

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie, and thanks for your reply and for your Excellent rating; it is greatly appreciated!

I'm glad you liked the reading!

I think the texts will reveal information that you would rather not know, but it's a necessary evil. In order to have the best evidence/information for your suit, you'll need to read the texts. Unfortunately, there will be some that are putting you down and yes, there will be sexual references. The text messages will contain information that will be good for your situation. I feel that you will see the cop again and at first it will be a little awkward, but then you will both start to feel comfortable again. At first you will be friends, but it's possible something further can happen. It won't be for a while, though.

I hope you enjoy your Labor Day, too! I'll look forward to hearing from you later.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, WHEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT THE TEXTS LAST YEAR AND THE EMOTIONAL AFFAIR I SPENT 4 MONTHS ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR. I CAN'T GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN. THAT'S T I NOW GO LIVE MY LIFE. I GET OUT TRY TO MEET NEW PEOPLE. WILL THAT HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN? I MEAN HOW SURE R U? PLEASE TELL ME I NEED TO PREPARE MYSELF FOR THIS I REFUSE TO G BACKWORDS. NO MATTER HOW MUCH MONEY I GET IT'S NOT WORTH THAT! CAN U TELL ME DID THEY HAVE SEX? ALSO, COULD U TELL ME IF THE MONEY WILL BE IN THE HIGH 6 FIGURES? I WANT TO BELIEVE SO BADLY THEY WEREN'T SEXUAL I KNOW THAT'S MY DENIAL BUT I HAVE TO HOPE. ALSO, I C THE COP AGAIN AND I TELL HIM HOW MUCH I MISS OUR FRIENDSHIP WILL WE TALK AGAIN AFTER THAT? I KNOW WITH HIM U HAVE TO TAKE IT SLOW. BUT, U ALSO HAVE TO HAVE A START. WILL WE EVER HAVE A START? IF SO, HOW LONG WILL THAT TAKE TO HAVE A START? PLEASE TELL ME THE TRUTH ABOUT EVERYTHING NO MATTER HOW BAD IT IS IT WILL HELP ME A LOT.

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

I understand how devastating it was when you first found out about the emotional affair last year and you don't want to relive that again. Can you have your lawyer or secretary, etc., go through the texts, since it will be too hurtful for you? I understand that you want to believe it's not as bad as it is, and there's a great possibility that they weren't sexual, but it's possible they were. With readings and cards, they can put you on the right track, but nothing is ever for sure. Yes, I feel the settlement will be in the six figure range, but again, this depends on how well the case is presented and how much evidence in your favor, exists. I'm picking up that you will not be disappointed with the settlement. You will have a chance to speak with the cop again, and yes, it will be a slow beginning; but it might not happen for a while. These are my predictions, I will always tell you the truth, but as we discussed, you make your own destiny and changes are always possible along your path.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, YES, MY LAWYER WILL READ ALL THE TEXTS FIRST. THEN, HE ASKED ME IF I WANT TO READ THEM. I SAID NO. JUST TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO KNOW. MY X ASSURES ME MY NAME NEVER CAME UP ON ALL THOSE TEXTS. I DON'T BELIEVE THAT AT ALL!!!!!!!!!! EVEN IF THERE IS NOTHING SEXUAL ON THEM JUST PUTTING ME DOWN ESPECIALLY TO MY BOSS IS JUST AS BAD. WE GO TO FAMILY COUNSELING AND THE COUNCILOR SAID SHE WOULD COME AND HELP ME READ THEM. I DON'T WANT TO READ THEM ALL JUST THE WORST ONES. YES. I HAVE THEM BREAKING THE LAWS ON EVERYTHING. ALL ON PAPER. MY ATTORNEY SAID, HE HAS NEVER HAD A CLIENT AS SMART AS ME. HE ASKS ME ALL THE TIME WHERE DO U GET ALL THIS STUFF? HE SAID YOUR CASE GETS BETTER BY THE WEEK. I KNOW IF I READ THE TEXTS IT WILL GIVE ME FULL CLOSURE I JUST HOPE THERE AS BAD AS I THINK THEY R SO MY DICISIONS ABOUT MY DIVORCE AND THE LAWSUIT WERE RIGHT. DO U THINK I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING WITH ALL OF MY DESICIONS? ALSO, DO U THINK IF I WAIT A COUPLE OF MONTHS ABOUT SEEING THE COP IS THAT ENOUGH TIME? IF SO WILL THAT BE THE START OF OUR COMMUNICATING? I MAKE MY OWN DESTINY I KNOW BUT, I WILL WANT HIM IN MY LIFE? R U SURE WE WILL SPEND TIME TOGETHER?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, R U THERE? IF NOT WHEN WILL U BE BACK ONLINE?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.

Hi again, Stephanie.

I'm glad your lawyer will read all the texts first and then let you know what you need to know. You ARE very smart and although this is a very difficult thing for you, you are handling it so very well. I don't believe your name never came up in those texts, either. I feel there were references to you and not all had your name, but it was obvious you were the one being referred to, and also, I do feel your name came up in some, but not all the texts. You do need closure, and you will get it when the suit settles; if you feel you need to read all the texts to gain closure and prove to yourself your decisions about the divorce and lawsuit were right, you'll do it when the time comes. Yes, I feel your decisions right now, are the right ones. You are fortunate to have an innate quality to know the right things to do at the right times.

I feel if you wait 2-4 months to see the cop that would be a good amount of time. Depending on where you both are in your lives at that time, will determine if you will begin communicating again. It will be a slow process, due to the type of person he is. Right now, I do see you communicating again, and at some time in the distant future, spending time together.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

 

Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18881
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 123 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, I JUST RATED U AGAIN. I HOPE IT HELPS. YES, I AGREE WITH U ABOUT MY NAME BUT, YES WITH 50,000 THAT'S A LOT THAT'S AN OBSESSION. I KNOW THEY REFERRED TO ME AND HER HUSBAND ALL THE TIME. SHE WENT TO WORK AND BRAGGED SHE WAS GETTING A DIVORCE, BIT, SHE WAS NEVER GOING TO LEAVE HIM. THEY R STILL TOGETHER. HE KNOWS ABOUT THE SITUATION HE JUST CHOOSES TO LIVE IN DENIAL. SO, HE STAYS WITH HER. I LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD AND I CHOSE MY DIVORCE AND LAWSUIT. THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME THINK THERE SO BAD ABOUT HIM AND I . BECAUSE OUT OF NOWHERE ALL OF A SUDDEN HE WAS UNHAPPY WITH ME. SO, I WENT DIGGING AND FOUND THE TEXTS. THAT TELLS ME HOW MUCH BAD TALKING THEY DID ABOUT NE AND HER HUSBAND. SO NOW THAT U KNOW MORE HOW R SURE U ABOUT THE TEXTS? YES, I'M STRONG BUT, WILL I BE ABLE TO GET THROUGH THIS? I HAVE AMAZING FRIENDS AND FAMILY BUT, IT'S UP TO ME PICK UP THE PIECES. THAT'S THE MAIN REASON I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHEN U THINK I'LL GET MY MONEY SO I CAN GO ON WITH MY LIFE? ALSO WITH THE COP U SAID A SLOW BEGINNING HOW SLOW WILL IT BE? DO U THINK WE WILL EVER BE TOGETHER IF SO WHEN? AFTER WE C EACH OTHER AGAIN WILL HE TELL ME IT'S ALRIGHT TO CALL HIM AND START COMMUNICATING AGAIN.

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie and thanks very much for your reply and Excellent rating. I sincerely XXXXX XXXXX!

Please allow me a few minutes to read your latest post and send you an answer.

Thanks,
Cher
Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie and thanks for your patience.

It sometimes takes me a while to send your answer, because I have to give it much thought and then type it. I'm a fast typist, but if I have a lot to say........ : )

It's just unbelievable that she never got a divorce and he lives in denial. He's not a real man if he can do that, after all that transpired. Yes, 50,000 texts most definitely IS an obsession and they contain trash-talking about both you and her husband. You are strong and I can say without a doubt, you will get through this. There may be more difficult times to come, in relation to the legal action, but you made the right decision to go ahead with the divorce and the lawsuit after you found out the truth. As long as you are looking forward to a positive outcome, you will be able to stay strong and survive this. It's something that must be done and you will do it!

I feel that you will get your money sometime between the end of this year and next Spring. However, you are going on with your life NOW and you will continue to go on with your life in a more calm and happy way after the settlement.

I mentioned I felt you will have a slow beginning with the cop, because of the type of person he is--not very forthcoming, secretive, etc. I feel he will not be ready to talk for quite a few months, and even then, his responses by phone or text will be slow in coming. I'm feeling you might be together again and he will tell you it's okay to begin communicating after he resolves some of the issues which are plaguing him right now. He will need serious counseling before he's able to carry on a normal relationship again, but he will find it hard to admit this and seek it out.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, I AGREE WITH U I WILL GET THROUGH THIS. SO, U DEFINATLY THINK THE TEXTS R BAD THAT WILL HELP MY CASE? WITH THE COP WE STARTED TALKING A LOT ALWAYS TALKED. SO, NOW IT WILL BE SLOW Y? HE HAS ISSUES I KNOW BUT, HE HAD THEM BEFORE I MET HIM AND WE TALKED ALL THE TIME. I REALLY WANT MY FRIEND BACK DO U C US IN THE NEXT 6 MONTHS HANGING OUT. ESPECIALLY IF I'M I THE ONE MAKING CONTACT. HE IS NOT GOING TO GO GET HELP WE BOTH KNOW THAT SO DO I JUST KEEP SLOWLY TRYING? IF SO, DO U REALLY BELIEVE WE CAN HANG OUT AGAIN AND BUILD FROM THERE. ALSO, IF I GET MY MONEY WILL HE LET ME SPEND SOME ON HIM?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

You have such a positive attitude, it's wonderful and will be a great asset to you during these difficult times. Yes, I do feel that if the content of the texts are bad, they will be good for you to make your case and win.

Yes, you're right, and as we've discussed, he will not seek treatment unless, I feel, he messes up on his job and it is mandated by his superiors. I feel that you will communicate with him again, and might see him again, but I don't know at this time, if you will actually hang out. If it means so much to you to keep trying and you would like to have your friend back, it can't hurt to try. Can you really still consider him a 'friend' after you hung out/communicated for such a short period of time? No, I don't get the feeling he will let you spend some money on him, after you get your money. He will want to accept your kind offer, but will feel it makes him less of a man and he's very into feeling macho, as we've discussed in the past. It will also make him feel out of control, something he hates.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER I HAD HOPE THE TEXTS WEREN'T GOING TO BE SO BAD. ONLY BECAUSE, FOR MY CHILDREN. I WANTED TO STAY A FAMILY SO I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH. I KNOW THRY R GOING TO BE BAD BUT, I JUST WANTED YOUR 6TH SENSE OPINION BECAUSE I KNOW IT'S RIGHT. WELL, I KNOW I'M THE ONE THAT IS GOING TO BE THE ONE TO C THE COP. REMEMBER IN ABOUT 2 MONTHS I WAS GOING TO TRY TO BUMP INTO HIM. I'M WONDERING IF I SAY, HEY WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID, MAYBE WE'LL TALK. BUT, I WON'T LEAVE THE CONVERSATION WITHOUT SAYING HEY CAN WE TALK ON THE PHONE AT LEAST? ALSO, I CALLED HIM TODAY. I EVEN UNBLOCKED MY NUMBER. SO HE KNOWS IT WAS ME. I LEFT A MESSAGE EVEN. I SAID, HI IT'S ME STEPHANIE, I'M JUST CALLING BECAUSE, I'M MAKING ALL THE LAST PLANS FOR MY PARTY. I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM U YET SO I'M WONDERING IF YOUR COMING AND/OR HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD U LIKE TO BRING? I SAID, I SAID. I'M SO SORRY FOR ANYTHING I SAID OR DID TO U COULD U PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I DID SO I CAN MAKE IT RIGHT. I MISS TALKING TO U. I HOPE U LET ME KNOW ABOUT THE PARTY TAKE. THEN I LEFT MY NUMBER AGAIN. I HAVEN'T HAD THIS MUCH COMMUNICATION SINCE JUNE. I STAY AWAY. BUT, I FEEL I HAD A REASON TO MAKE THE CALL. I KNOW I WON'T HEAR FROM HIM. DO U THINK HE MIGHT FEEL A LITTLE BAD BECAUSE I'M FEELING BAD AND WANT TO MAKE IT RIGHT AND HE WON'T LET ME? WHAT DO U THINK OF THE PHONE CALL?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, R U THERE?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

Yes, I'm here. Just reading your reply and then I will send you an answer.

Regards,
Cher
Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

I understand how you feel about not wanting the texts to be bad, so you can preserve your family, but considering that they most likely are going to bad, that might change your opinion of your ex, but he will always be the children's father and will continue to have a relationship with them. You don't have to mention anything about the texts to him, if you don't want to, and I would definitely not mention anything about them at this time. After the suit is settled, then you can decide if you want to bring up the subject to him or not; now, you don't have to worry about that. By reading the texts, I feel you will not be destroying anything your family has now, regarding the children, and it's information that can only benefit you in the future, re: the suit.

Wow! You're getting bold! lol I'm glad you had the 'party' RSVP as a good excuse to call him, but why are you blaming yourself for anything you said or did, that was wrong? You didn't do anything. It's all him. I would have left the message re: are you coming to the party and bringing guests? at that. I agree that he most likely will not call you back, not come to the party, and I feel that you should not make contact with him again, soon. The plan to bump into him in about 2 months can still be out there, for the future, and is still a good idea. You'll have to wait and see. Speaking in person is much different than on the phone, etc., but I would not move up that time frame; two months and no sooner. Also, see what happens re: your phone message.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18881
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 123 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.

Hi again, Stephanie and thanks very much for your Excellent rating; it is greatly appreciated!

I'll be online for the next few hours if you have more questions.

Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, I SENT U A QUESTION I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF U THINK MY X AND I WILL GET BACK TOGETHER? ALSO, I SAID TO THE COP ALL THAT TO MAKE HIM THINK HE'S IN CONTROL. THIS WAY I'M REALLY THE NICE ONE HERE. dO U THINK HE WILL BE THINKING OF M ETHIS WEEK? MAYBE DO A COUPLE OD DRIVE BYES BY MY HOUSE. I HOPE I WANT HIM TO MISS ME. DO U THINK HE WILL?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

I don't feel your ex and you will get back together 'officially' (like re-marry). I think you will always have contact with him/see him because of the children. You are treating him very nicely, considering all that has happened. You're doing what's best for the children and that's so admirable. After all the texts, etc., are made known during the lawsuit, it will put many more obstacles in your way re: getting back together.

I understand better now, your thinking behind what you said to the cop; very clever! Yes, it does make him feel he's in control and you are the nice one. Very good plan! After your message, I do think he will have you on his mind when he patrols your area. I do think he'll miss you when he reflects back on all the great conversations you had. He's the one missing out!

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, DO U THINK I'M DOING THE RIGHT THINGS IN MY LIFE? I JUST WANT THE LAWSUIT OVER AND JUST GO ON WITH MY LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN. A NEW HOME, HAPPINESS. WILL MY X EVER TRY TO GET ME BACK AFTER THIS IS OVER? WILL THE COP REALIZE HE IS THE ONE MISSING OUT? HOW DO U THINK HE'S FEELING IN CONTROL NOW. THAT MAKES HIM REALLY HAPPY. I FEEL HE WANTS ME TO BEG HIM WORK FOR IT DO U BELIEVE HE THINKS THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING BEGGING HIM TO FORGIVE ME GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS? DOES THAT MAKE HIM FEEL MACHO NOW? IF I'M GIVING HIM ALL THESE HAPPY EMOTIONS CONTROL WHATEVER. WILL THAT MAKE HIM WANT TO TALK TO ME SOMEDAY? I FEEL IF HE IS GETTING HIS EGO STROKED BY ME HE WILL AT LEAST TRY SOME FORM OF CONTACT IT;S ALL ABOUT HIM? IF HE WANTS ALL THOSE WITH MY MONEY AND I KNOW HE DOES WHEN WILL HE EVER TAKE ANYTHING FROM ME? IF HE'S MACHO MAN? DO U THINK HE WANT'S ME TO BEG FOR THAT TOO? PLEASE DO THIS WITH ME. HE SAID HE WOULD TRAVEL WITH ME WHEN I GET MY MONEY. DO U THINK MAYBE HE'S GETTING WHAT HE WANTED ALL ALONG GET ME TO BEG FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME. THEN HE'LL KNOW JUST HOW TO PLAY ME FOR WHAT HE WANT'S. WE BOTH KNOW HE HATES HIS JOB AND WANTS THE MONEY. IF HE HAS CONTROL OVER ME THEN HE HAS CONTROL OVER THE MONEY. DO U THINK HE THINKS IN HIS MIND THAT OH LOOK I HAVE CONTROL OVER HER KNOW IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME TO GET EVERYTHING ELSE?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER R U THERE?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, R U STILL UP?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi Stephanie,

Yes, I'm here. Thanks for your patience; I was helping another client.

Please allow me a few minutes to read your post and send an answer. Thanks!

Regards,
Cher
Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

Right now, I do feel you are doing the right things in your life. You are doing the best for yourself and your children, under difficult circumstances. I understand completely how you feel, wanting the lawsuit over and behind you and knowing that you can go on with your life and things will be more normal for you and your children; a burden will be lifted. Once you win the lawsuit, you will be able to buy that new home. It depends how forgiving you are, if your ex wants to be back in your life. He's done some awful and hurtful things and you know him better than anyone. I feel once a cheater always a cheater, so could you really trust him? This all has to come from your heart and your mind (don't be led by your heart alone), if he asks to be back in your life. You have to make a decision that is best for you; he will still see the children, so don't let that enter into your decision. Keep thinking back on the things he's done to you. I don't see the two of you getting back together in any 'official' capacity.

I do feel the cop feels in control now that you have called him twice in about a week and yes, that makes him happy and feeling all 'macho'; his ego is definitely stroked. If he offered to travel with you after you get your money, depending on his particular situation at the time, he might do it. He will feel he got what he wanted, you begging him to have contact with you and getting to reap the rewards of your money. It depends what state of mind he's in at the time, too, since his moods are so changeable. He's so sad right now and hating his job, I feel he just doesn't want to be bothered by anyone.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, I LET MY HEAD LEAD MY ACTIONS NOT MY HEART. THAT IS Y I DID THE DIVORCE AND THE LAWSUIT. I TRY TO KEEP MY HEART OUT OF IT. HE IS A WONDERFUL FATHER. I KNOW HE WILL BE THERE FOR THEM. I FEEL THE TEXTS WILL GIVE ME FINAL CLOSURE. BUT, THE COP HAS CONTROL NOW IS HAPPY ABOUT THAT? IF SO IS HE HAPPY I GAVE IT TO HIM? HOW DO U FEEL ABOUT HIM CONTACTING ME SOMEDAY OR IF WE BUMP INTO EACH OTHER WILL HE BE REALLY HAPPY KNOWING HE'S IN CONTROL. DO U THINK THIS IS WHAT HE WANTED FOR ME TO TRY NOT ONLY TO TRY TO BREAK DOWN THE WALLS. BUT, FOR ME TO TRY TO GET HIM BACK INTO MY LIFE SO THEN HE KNOWS I'LL APPRECIATE HIM EVEN MORE AND WANT TO OFFER HIM EVEN MORE. DO STUFF WITH ME BECAUSE I WANT HIM AROUND. AND IF I BEG ENOUGH HE WILL DO IT IF I PAY, BECAUSE, HE WILL FEEL LIKE HOW LUCKY IS SHE I'M HERE. ALSO, DO U THINK HE WILL THINK OF ME MORE NOW? WILL THAT MAKE HIM HAPPY?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie,

Good! You know your priorities and I can tell from talking to you that you let your head lead your actions and are not carried away by your heart. Yes, the divorce and the lawsuit--because of what your ex has done, led to both, so knowing he will always be there for his children and having the texts give you final closure, should be enough satisfaction.

Re: the cop, yes, I feel if you bump into him some day he will feel happy he is in control and he will know how much you wanted to try to get him back into your life, so you will appreciate his presence even more. He will feel in control because that is in his nature; he is an egoist, he has to feel he's running the show, that's why he was planning out how you would spend your money before you even got it. I think, since you made contact, he will think of you more now and he will enjoy this, because he will be reminded of the great conversations you had in the past. However, his life is so in the toilet right now, he can't think of anyone but himself and how to get out of this miserable position he's in. I feel he wants to try to do it himself so he doesn't have to be reliant on anyone else, especially a woman. It's just built in to his way of thinking/personality.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER I'M CONFUSED, U SAID, HE HAS TO FEEL HE'S RUNNING THE SHOW DOES HE FEEL THAT WAY NOW BECAUSE I GAVE HIM CONTROL WITH PARTY? U SAID THAT'S HOW HE WAS PLANNING OUT HOW U WOULD SPEND THE MONEY BEFORE U EVEN GOT IT? I'M CONFUSED BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THE MONEY WAS WHAT DROVE HIM, BUT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE IN MY LIFE THEN Y CARE ABOUT HOW I SPENT IT? DO U THINK THIS IS WHAT HE WANTED TO DO C IF I WILL KEEP TRYING TO BEG HIM BACK THEN HE CAN CONTROL OF ME AND THE MONEY? I KNOW HE IS MISERABLE RIGHT NOW. BUT, I ALSO FEEL HE THINKS IF I LET HIM KNOW I WANT TO DO THINGS FOR HIM HE WILL LET ME. BECAUSE HE'S IN CONTROL AND I'M BEGGING. WHAT DO U THINK?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

R U THERE. CHER?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

Yes, he does feel in control now, because you gave him control re: the contact and the party. You made the first move re: the contact and you are giving him the choice of coming or not coming to the party. When you were seeing each other/speaking on a steady basis, weren't talking about the big new house you wanted to buy on the beach, and he was contributing his ideas to all the great things you would be able to buy/do?

No, I don't think he will let you do things for him because he's in need. That would rob him of his 'machismo'. It doesn't matter that he feels like he's in control and your begging. Maybe after the settlement, but now, no, he would not let you do anything for him; that's what I'm feeling.


If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, NO I AGREE NOT SPEND ANY MONEY ON HIM RIGHT NOW. HE WOULDN'T LIKE THAT. I FEEL BECAUSE. HE ALWAYS SPOKE OF EVERYTHING HE WANTED. THE CONDOS ,CAR AIRPLANE ETC. I FEEL HE NOW HAS CONTROL ANS HE IS HAPPY. I KNOW THAT'S Y HE STAYS AWAY. HE WANT'S THE MONEY BUT, HE HAS TO CONTROL IT AND ME. THIS WAY IF HE COMES BACK AND I KEEP BEGGING FOR HIM TO COME BACK THEN HE HAS CONTROL. THEN IF I BEG FOR HIM TO GO ON A TRIP WITH ME AND HE KNOWS HOW MUCH I WANT HIM TO GO AND I'M SAYING I'M PAYING FOR IT ALL HE'LL COME I THINK. recap, he want's control. now he has it, 2) if i call or make contact with him and beg for him to come back into my life like saying lets at least talk then he knows he's in. 3) the money comes then i say lets go ans do something but, in the meantime i'm still giving him all the control with the communication. So, he knows his in control i offer to pay for everything because, i want him to go so bad now, he's getting what he really wants. i feel this is what he has wanted the whole time that is y i thought this was a game to him. But, this is just who he is. A game to us normal to him. lastly, if i still reach out once in awhile do u think he will be happy to c me when i bump into him? Also, if wants the money which we know that's what he wants is this part of it get me to beg? if so for how long until the money comes in? As i c it he knows his only way out is money.

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie,

Yes, I agree re: the control and the money. I don't think you should contact him again, before you plan on bumping into him in a couple of months. Let him wonder what YOU are up to. If you continue to call him, etc., he might become annoyed. If you don't have any contact for a couple of months, he will be really surprised to see you when you bump into him. Yes, you're right, a game to us, normal to him, because that's how he thinks and that's how he operates.

If he wants you to beg to see him/do something for him, we can't speculate on how long, if it's not definite when the money will be coming in. I agree, and feel the same way, his only way out is money.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi Stephanie,

I just wanted to let you know I'm signing offline for the night. It seems you're offline, too.

Have a great night!

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, I'M NOT SURE IF U GOT MY LAST QUESTION FROM LAST NIGHT. IF HE NOW HAS CONTROL OVER ME WON'T HE WANT TO KEEP CONTROL OVER ME? IF SO HOW DOES SOMEONE LIKE HIM DO THAT WITHOUT CONTACT WITH ME? I WILL WAIT A COUPLE OF MONTHS BEFORE I BUMP INTO HIM DON'T U THINK HE WILL WANT TO TRY TO C ME FIRST? U KNOW KEEP HIM IN MY THOUGHTS SO HE CAN GET THE MONEY AND CONTROL. U KNOW I THINK NOW THAT HE HAS CONTROL OVER ME WON'T HE HAVE TO TRY TO GET CONTROL OF THE MONEY AS WELL? DO U C US GOING OUT TO EAT TOGETHER ANYTIME AT ALL? OR MAYBE AFTER CONTACT? DO U C HIM HAPPY AND NICE TO ME WHEN HE SEES ME? I WONDER IF WHILE ON VACATION HE TOLD HIS FAMILY ABOUT ME AND THEY SAID U BETTER HANG ON TO HER. SO, WHEN HE CAME BACK HE THOUGHT HE SHOULD DO THIS IGNORE ME. ONLY TO GET CONTROL. WHAT DO U THINK? DO U C US SEEING EACH OTHER OVER THE HOLIDAYS? I DON'T MEAN HOLIDAY DINNERS. I MEAN JUST C EACH OTHER? I WOULDN'T WANT HIM TO BE LONELY. DO U C HIM WITH HIS X OR ANY OTHER FRIENDS THAT WOULDN'T ALLOW HIM TO TALK TO ME? I'M SORRY SO MANY QUESTIONS. BUT, THERE ALL ABOUT HIM IF THAT HELPS. ALSO, DO U THINK HE THINKS HIS PLAN IS WORKING? OR DO U C THAT HE WILL NEVER COME BACK AS MY FRIEND EVEN WITH THE MONEY?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.

Hi again, Stephanie.

I hope your Tuesday is going well!

I don't feel he has control over YOU, he has control over the situation. Good, I feel continuing with your plan to wait a few months to bump into him is the best way to proceed. I don't see you going out to eat or spending any quality time with him in the near future. If you see him again (not counting bumping into him) and do something, like going out to eat, I feel it will be after the settlement, when he knows you have the money. Even though he doesn't have many friends, he will not spend the holidays alone. It's so kind of you to think he might be lonely! I pick up that you will not see him during the holidays, unless, perhaps these two things happen: your suit is settled and/or when you bump into him accidentally/on purpose, he begins to communicate with you again. He also may be assigned to work over the holidays. He may have mentioned you to his family when he was on vacation, because the circumstances of the suit are interesting and you said the story was in the papers, etc. You weren't really 'dating', so he didn't mention you as a 'girlfriend'. I don't think any of his friends are telling him not to see you, but if he is still communicating with his ex, she may have said something, if he told her about you.

The feeling I get about him for the time being, is that you need to allow him to make the next move and give you an indication that he would like to continue to communicate. If he doesn't give that signal, then you can bump into him in a couple of months and see where that leads.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.

Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I AGREE! SO, BASICALLY IT COMES DOWN TO THE MONEY? IF I HAD IT YET WE COULD HAVE LUNCH. BUT, SINCE I DON'T NO LUNCH. IF I BUMP INTO HIM AND HE KNOWS EITHER I GOT THE MONEY OR HE KNOWS IT'S COMING SOON I WONDER IF THEN WILL SPEND TIME TOGETHER? I DIDN'T MEAN HE TOLD HIS FAMILY I WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND I JUST FIGURED SENSE CONTROL FREAKS R MADE THAT WAY HIS FAMILY HAS ISSUES TO. SO, I FELT HE MIGHT HAVE TOLD THEM THE STORY AND THEY SAID, U BETTER HANG ON TO HER. THAT'S WHAT I MEANT THE START OF THE GAME. DO U THINK IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY? IF HE IS NOT ONE TO HAVE PEOPLE SPEND MONEY ON HIM THAN WHATS HIS PLAN FOR ME AND THE MY MONEY. U SAID, HE HAS CONTROL OVER THE SITUATION DOSEN'T HE WANT CONTROL OVER ME TO?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.

Hi again, Stephanie.

I'm glad you agree! : ) Yes, it basically comes down to the money. You thought from the beginning that this was the stimulus for the 'game' and that's what he was interested in. Yes, it's possible that he mentioned the situation to his family and when they heard there may be a lot of money involved, they may have advised him to hang on to you; but then we come down to why he seemed to cut off communications after he returned from vacation. He may have felt he'll play it cool and not seem ultra-interested, that would pique your interest and you would contact him......yet, when you did, he didn't seem interested. He may be waiting for the 'right' time, meaning the time you have the money. He doesn't want to feel like he's taking 'handouts' from anyone, yet, he wants to live the good life. I feel that he thinks if he has control over the situation, you're involved in the situation, therefore, he has control over you, too.

Just wanted to let you know I need to be away from the computer for a short while, to make dinner, so, if you reply and don't hear right back, you'll know I'm here, but away from the keyboard.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.



Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, LETS RECAP FOR ME SO I UNDERSTAND. HE WANTS TO LIVE THE GOOD LIFE. HE HAS CONTROL OF THE SITUATION THEREFOR HE THINKS HE HAS CONTROL OF THE MONEY. WHAT DOES YOUR 6TH SENSE TELL U Y HE LEFT? I THINK IT WAS BECAUSE HE WANTED ME TO MISS HIM. THEN, I WILL CALL HIM WHICH I DID. BUT, IF HE KNEW I MIGHT GET SICK OF HIM BEFORE THE MONEY CAME THEN THERE IS NO CHANCE OF GETTING ANY MONEY. ISN'T HE GETTING WHAT HE WANTED CONTROL? I WOULD SAY HE IS SITTING BACK AND WAITING HE KNOWS WHAT HES DOING HES METHODICAL. DO U AGREE? BUT Y DID HE LEAVE DO U THINK HE WOULD JUST WALK AWAY FROM A POTENTIAL WAY OUT OF HIS MESS? OR MAYBE HE FOUND SOMEONE ELSE TO TAKE CARE OF HIM? DO U AGREE WITH THAT? OR IS HE JUST TO LOST FOR THAT? DO U THINK WHEN I START ENJOYING THE GOOD LIFE DO U C HIM IN IT AT ALL? I MEAN JUST ANY LITTLE THING. WILL OUR COMMUNICATION AND SEEING EACH OTHER INCREASE?


 


 


 


 


CHER, HERE'S THE WORST NEWS WE GOT TODAY! ONE OF THE GIRLS ON MY DAUGHTERS CHEERLEADING SQUAD DIED TODAY. I GUESS SHE WAS SICK FOR A LITTLE WHILE THEN DIED. HER NAME WAS DIANA, SHE WAS ONLY 17 YEARS OLD. I CRIED ALL MORNING. MY DAUGHTER IS HAVING A REALLY HARD TIME WITH IT. THOSE POOR PARENT'S. THAT IS WAY TO YOUNG TO DIE.i SENT A MASS TEXT TO ALL THE PARENTS I SAID, THIS, DEAR PARENTS, ITS A SAD AS WE MOURN THE LOSS OF DIANA SHE PASSED AWAY THIS MORNING. KAYLA WANT'S TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR HER. I KNOW THE CHEERLEADERS WILL WANT TO HELP. FEEL FREE TO CALL OR E-MAIL KAYLA OR ME STEPHANIE WITH ANY SUGGESTIONS AS TO REMEMBER DIANA. THERE WILL BE NO PRACTICE TODAY. CALL COACH DANIELS FOR MORE INFORMATION. LETS PRAY FOR HER AND HER FAMILY. HUG YOUR CHILDREN TONIGHT. GOD BLESS, STEPHANIE AND KAYLA. I SENT THAT OUT TO EVERYONE. EVEN THE COP GOT IT. NOW, IF I READ THIS I WOULD HAVE THE HEART TO CALL ME AND TELL ME HOW SORRY I AM. I FEEL SO BAD. BUT, THEN SO GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE. WHAT DO U THINK THE COP THOUGHT WHEN HE READ THIS? I HAVE HAD ALL ME FRIENDS TODAY TELL ME THEY R SO PROUD TO BE MY FRIEND BECAUSE, I HAVE SUCH A CARING HEART. CAN A CONTROL FREAK ISSUED COP HAVE A HEART AND TELL WHAT GOOD PEOPLE WE R. HAVE A GOOD DINNER, I'LL WAIT FOR YOUR REPLY.

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.

Hi Stephanie,

I am so sorry to hear this heart wrenching news about Diana. It's just unbelievable and so sad when anyone passes away, but such a young girl! Too sad for words.....You did a very nice thing in letting the other parents know and helping your daughter plan something at school and for Diana's family, to show your support at this very difficult time. You do have a very big heart and everyone who knows you is aware of this.

Back to the cop. Yes, he wants to live the good life, he thinks he has control of the situation, but he doesn't have control of the money. YOU have control of the money; if you allow him to enter your life after the settlement and have control of you, then he might think he has control of the money, but you will always have control of that.

My sixth sense tells me that he left because he has so many personal and financial problems, he's just not into communicating with anyone at this time. Yes, part of it may have been to make you miss him and maybe he thought, as you suspected, that you might become tired of him before the money came in, and then you wouldn't be together at that time. He may be manipulating the situation so it turns out best for him, because that's what he does best. The manipulation would give him control.

Yes, methodical goes along with control and manipulation and is a great way to describe his M.O. He does know what he's doing, all the time--clever as a fox. I keep saying I don't feel he's with another woman, but it's very possible he might have found someone else (perhaps even a male friend or a relative) who is helping him out and he's thinking less of your potential windfall. At this point, I feel that once you are living the good life, you might be communicating with him more often, but at least at the very beginning, he won't be in your life on a very steady basis. Because he has so many problems now, it's difficult to read him so far into the future.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

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Best regards,
Cher

Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18881
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 123 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, I JUST RATED U AGAIN EXCELLENT. YES, IT'S SO SAD WHAT HAPPENED, WERE TRYING TO GET OUR DAUGHTER THRU IT. WHEN I SENT THE MASS TEXT THE COP GOT ONE. HE HAD TO READ IT. WHAT DO U THINK HE THOUGHT OF THE TEXT? IF HE HAD A HEART HE WOULD AT LEAST CALL OR TEXT AND CHECK ON US. Y WON'T HE BE IN MY LIFE ON A STEADY BASIS? IF HE WANTS THE GOOD LIFE? DOES HE THINK BECAUSE HE FEELS HE HAS CONTROL OVER ME HE'S HAPPY? IF HE IS AS CLEVER AS A FOX THEN THERE IS A REASON BEHIND ALL OF THIS RIGHT? IF AFTER I BUMP INTO HIM DOWN THE ROAD AND I TRY TO COMMUNICATE ALL THE TIME WITH HIM AGAIN, AND HE SEES ME HAVING A GOOD LIFE AND I BEG FOR HIM TO COME AND DO STUFF HE WANTS TO DO, DO U THINK HE WOULD DO IT? REMEMBER HE HAS CONTROL. IF HE DOES HAVE CONTROL DO U THINK HE THINKS MORE ABOUT ME? ALSO, BECAUSE HE GOT THE TEXT ABOUT DIANA WHAT DO U THINK HE THINKS OF ME NOW?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, R U THERE?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie and thanks very much for your Excellent rating; it is greatly appreciated!

I'm assuming they're going to have a grief counselor who specializes in children/teens at the school to help the students through this terrible tragedy.

I'm sure, when the cop gets the text he will think 'how horrible' and will see what a big heart you have, if he doesn't know that, already.

The further away an event, the more difficult it is to predict how things will happen. I feel you shouldn't have to beg for him to join you in living the good life. If that's what he wants, he will be sure to be around you to enjoy it, if he is invited. I do think he's thinking more about you since your more recent communications and especially the text from today about this terrible tragedy. No, unfortunately, I don't feel strongly that he will contact you after that text, albeit so sad. It's not who he is. I'm not saying he's heartless, it's just that it's 'information' that doesn't really affect him personally, so he'll say, what a shame, and not give it much more thought. He'll think it's very admirable that you're doing this in honor of your daughter's classmate, but he won't contact you to say 'good job', so don't be disappointed. He won't be surprised that you would do something like that. He already knows you're a sensitive, caring mom and woman.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

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Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, I'M GLAD HE WILL THINK NICE THINGS ABOUT ME. DO U THINK HE WILL THINK MORE ABOUT ME NOW SINCE THE TEXT WAS SENT THIS AFTERNOON? I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO CONTACT ME TO SAY GOOD JOB. I JUST THOUGHT TO SAY HEY, HOW R U AND YOUR DAUGHTER DOING? Y WON'T HE BE IN MY LIFE ON A STEADY BASIS? I THINK HE THINKS ABOUT MY LAWSUIT EVERYDAY WHEN HE GOES TO WORK. A JOB HE SAYS HE HATES. WE KNOW EVERYONE DOESEN'T LIKE HIM BECAUSE HE'S TOO HAPPY! IF HES CLEVER AS A FOX THAN WHAT DOES YOUR 6TH SENSE THINK ABOUT Y/ WHAT IS HE DOING? IS HIS CLEVERNESS TRYING TO GET HIM TO ENJOY THE EASY LIFE? BECAUSE, NOW HE KNOWS WHAT A GOOD HEART I HAVE.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

R U THERE CHER?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

Yes, I'm here. Please give me a moment to read your reply and then I will send an answer.

Thanks,
Cher
Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

Thanks so much for your patience. I was involved in answering another question at the time you posted.

It didn't escape him what a good heart you have, when he first met you, so what you did today and what you will do in the future, is just further proof of that.

Yes, I think every time you send him a text, even if it's not 'personal', he thinks about you. I had mentioned 'at first' he will not be in your life on a steady basis, if he's in your life at all and you invite him to share in your great life, after the suit settles. Oh, yes, his cleverness will try to get him to enjoy an easy life or an 'easier' life. That line about people not liking him because he's 'too happy', is just so odd; who says that? Maybe he meant he 'seems' too happy and sort of sarcastic. Everyone interprets 'happiness' in a different way. He certainly does not seem like a happy person or happy with his present
life.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

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Cher


Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, I KNOW BUT, HES SERIOUS HE SAYS WHEN HE COMES ON AT 6:OO AM HE'S JUST TOO HAPPY AND THEY DON'T LIKE HIM, HE SAYS HIS BOSS AND HIS CO-WORKERS HATE HIM. THAT'S ONE REASON HE HATES HIS JOB. U MENTIONED HE WILL NOT BE IN MY LIFE ON A STEADY BASIS. SO, U MADE IT SOUND TO ME IF HE IS IN MY LIFE AT ALL HIS CLEVERNESS WILL TRY TO GET HIM TO ENJOY THE GOOD LIFE. SO, DOES HE WANT TO BE IN MY LIFE TO ENJOY THE MONEY OR DOES HE WANT TO JUST STAY AWAY? I'M CONFUSED. I KNOW HES PLAYING A GAME. BUT, WHAT?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

Well, if that's what he says when he comes on shift at 6AM, maybe they're right--not being an early morning person myself, maybe since he seems happy to be there at that early hour, the others resent his 'cheerfulness' because they DON'T like getting up and going to work so early. I'm feeling that is what he means, now that you provided a little more information; it makes more sense.

It is a confusing situation, since he showed you one side of himself when you were communicating on a steady basis and he seemed to enjoy your company, so he would hang out with you and then, suddenly, after he went on vacation (home, to visit family), he seemed to come back a changed man. I still think and feel that he would love to be in a better financial position than he is now, and he may have your 'incoming' money stashed in the back of his mind; however, if he has made no attempt to communicate with you since he's been back, he may be playing a game, wanting you to want to be with him more, if he stays away, or maybe he just doesn't want to get involved with anyone at this particular time. As I keep saying, you did nothing wrong. He is dealing with many problems right now and just doesn't want to be bothered by anyone. You did nothing to alienate him and cause him to stop calling, etc., but he has so many things to work out he can't devote time to thinking about other people who are or who have been in his life.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

IMPORTANT: If you found my answer helpful, please choose a positive rating like this one Laughing for 'Excellent Service', so I may receive credit for assisting you.


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Best regards,
Cher

Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18881
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 123 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

SO, BASICALLY HE WOULD LIKE TO ENJOY THE MONEY BUT I HAVE TO KEEP WANTING HIM. YOUR RIGHT ABOUT THE COMMUNICATION JUST STOPED AFTER THE VACATION. BUT U KNOW I HAVE SENT HIM 2 PERSONAL TEXTS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM ONLY MY DAUGHTER AND I AND HE HASN'T CALLED OR TEXTED BACK DON'T SEND THESE TO ME. I THINK HE LIKES KNOWING WHATS GOING ON IN MY LIFE. WHAT DO U THINK? ALSO, IF HE DID HE KNOWS I WOULD SORRY NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN, THEN THERE IS NO FURTHER CONTACT FOR SURE. TELL ME DO U THINK HE LIKES KNOWING WHATS GOING ON IN MY LIFE? TELL ME YOUR OPINION ON WHAT HE IS DOING? DO U AGREE HE'S DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN TO GET THE MONEY? PLAY ANY GAME? DO U THINK HE WANTS TO COME BACK WHEN HE KNOWS THE MONEY IS HERE? WILL HE COME BACK? I'VE GIVEN UP CONTROL.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, I JUST RATED U AGAIN, I HOPE IT HELPS.

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

Thanks very much for your Excellent rating. I do appreciate it!

I think you're right, that if he didn't ever want to hear from you again, he'd tell you so and say stop bothering me, don't text or call again. He hasn't said that, so it seems there's still hope that he may want to communicate with you again. Then again, silence can speak volumes, so maybe he doesn't want to communicate again, but feels if he doesn't respond, you'll take the hint and not bother him again. I think the thought of the money is still intriguing to him, but if he's not communicating now, we can't be sure he will suddenly start communicating at that time in the future.

I don't think he gives much thought to anyone but himself and trying to stay afloat in his not so wonderful life, right now.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

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Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

YOUR RIGHT, I'M JUST GOING TO STAY AWAY. I GUESS HE JUST DOSEN'T WANT ME IN HIS LIFE. I HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT. BUT, THE LAST TEXTS WERE JUST MASS TEXTS NOT MET FOR HIM. SO I FIGURED IF IT BOTHERED HIM HE COULD TEXT OR CALL AND SAY HEY I'M GETTING THESE TEXTS TAKE ME OUT OF THERE. BUT, HE WASN'T SO I FIGURED HE LIKED KNOWING ABOUT MY LIFE WITHOUT IT BEING PERSONAL, ONE LAST THING. DO U THINK I'LL EVER BE ABLE TO CONVINCE HIM TO ENJOY THE GOOD LIFE WITH ME?

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

I agree with you; because the texts were 'mass texts' and not specifically meant for him, personally, if he wanted to be taken off your email/text list, he could have told you so, but he didn't. I do think he enjoys knowing what's going on in your life. I think convincing him to enjoy the good life with you depends on so many unknowns because of existing circumstances. I do think you will interact with him in person again, at some time in the future, and when you do, you can ask certain key questions or make some statements that will let you know if he is still interested in being friends (or more) with you. Right now, my intuition tells me that you should continue to give him his space, and see what happens. If you're still planning on bumping into him in a couple of months, that's fine. Also, if you want to send him occasional 'mass' texts, that's also fine, just don't send too many within a short period of time. This will be just be a way to keep you on his mind.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please click 'Reply to Expert' before rating, direct your reply to me, "Cher", and I will be happy to continue our conversation.

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Best regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

CHER, YOUR RIGHT! I WILL STAY AWAY. SEND ONLY CERTAIN TEXT MESSAGES . I WILL PLAN ON BUMPING INTO HIM INTO A COUPLE OF MONTHS AND TRY TO SEE IF HE WILL BE MY FRIEND AND SPEND TIME WITH ME. I WILL TRY ONE MORE TIME THEN MOVE ON. THANK U FOR EVERYTHING.

Expert:  Cher replied 2 years ago.
Hi again, Stephanie.

That sounds like a very smart plan! : ) Not too pushy, and keeping him thinking about you
with the occasional 'general' texts.

You're most welcome! It's always my pleasure to be of help to you. Please keep me posted and let me know how everything is going.

Best regards,
Cher

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