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am I wasting my time in this relationship ,will he ever be

 
FamilyPhysician's Avatar
  • Answered by:FamilyPhysician
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  • Accepted Answers: 140
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Customer Question

am I wasting my time in this relationship ,will he ever be any different

Submitted: 287 days ago.
Category: General
Value: CA$30
Status: CLOSED
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Expert:  FamilyPhysician replied 286 days and 23 hours ago.

Thank you for your question:

Can you tell me a bit about your relationship and the things that you would want to change about the relationship?

Customer replied 286 days and 23 hours ago.

I 've been in this relationship for 4and half years ,and I don't know if it is going anywhere I love this man ,but honestly I feel like most of the times were good friends on his part , is their a real future for us ,his name isXXXXX dob july 14,1965 , my name Michelle Mccarthy dob march 21 ,1962

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Expert:  FamilyPhysician replied 286 days and 23 hours ago.

Have either of you been married before?

Have you asked him about the direction of your relationship?

What barriers (if any) do you see to your relationship working?

Customer replied 286 days and 23 hours ago.

Yes I,very been married, now divorced,he is very hard to talk
too when it comes to his feelings,he has never been married, in only a few relationships. He has anxiety so bad it keeps him from working a full time job, he has lived with his mother all his life, now she is in a home. Even with her in a home now he totally has to support himself, he is barely managing. Without my support I don't know what he would do.barriers in the relationship is definitely communication, I feel he is afraid or can,t express his feelings, he won't go for counciling.Sometimes I feel I,m lost don,t know where to turn because I do love him.

Accepted Answer

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Expert:  FamilyPhysician replied 286 days and 23 hours ago.

I'm sure you understand that the decision about the direction of any relationship ultimately is yours and his to make.

I do believe based on the VERY limited information that you have provided, that there are some signs that this relationship may not be successful;
His anxiety that prevents him from working
The fact that he is relying on your support (and previously his mother's support)
The fact that he "can't express his feelings"
His unwillingness to go for counseling

At this point, I believe that you may benefit from some counseling. Even if he will not go with you, seeing a counselor will help you deal with your feelings and concerns about this relationship.

Expert TypeInternet Researcher
Category: General
Pos. Feedback: 96.9 %
Accepts: 140
Answered: 6/27/2012

Experience: Researching answers to questions online for 20+ years.

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