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pdheslin
pdheslin, Consultant
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 2634
Experience:  20+ years of internet site creation and search engine optimization. Dozens of search tools at my disposal.
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Hi there, I got a reading from you a few weeks ago and have

Resolved Question:

Hi there, I got a reading from you a few weeks ago and have another question about Ken- I'm starting to think I should be walking away but not sure.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: General
Expert:  pdheslin replied 2 years ago.

pdheslin :

Hello, thank you for allowing me to assist you.

pdheslin :

Can I get your first name so I can connect in please?

Customer:

hi there

Customer:

melanie

pdheslin :

Thank you Melanie

pdheslin :

As I connect in to this relationship, I see that it started off with a lot of heat and mystery

pdheslin :

I see that over time, there has been miscommunication, misunderstanding, confusion.

pdheslin :

This happens in all relationships, but this has been particularly troubling.

pdheslin :

Both of you feel misunderstood by the other

pdheslin :

Is this why you feel you need to walk away?

pdheslin :

Have you lost hope?

Customer:

I just feel not as close anymore

Customer:

maybe lost a little hope but i really do love him

pdheslin :

I am shown the symbol of a broken telephone line.

pdheslin :

The emotional intimacy is not as strong as it was,because of the lack of comfortable communication..

pdheslin :

He feels very misunderstood

Customer:

why

pdheslin :

as Im sure you do, but I'm talking about him now, and giving insight into him

pdheslin :

I'm expanding now to see what the issue is

pdheslin :

These things might be hard for you to hear, because it requires you to accept that what I tell you, is his perception, regardless what your intent was, regardless of what you meant, so please try to be open.

pdheslin :

But there is something that is important to him, that he perceives you devalued, teased, made fun of, or chided him for doing.

pdheslin :

To you, it may have been tiny and insignifcant or even just being humorous, but he took it much deeper.

Customer:

what was it

pdheslin :

And it set the tone for him. This would have been a few weeks ago.

pdheslin :

I'm getting it in bits and pieces because he's stuffing it.

pdheslin :

Something that's been important to him since he was young, and in fact the conversation may have been , "arent you too old to be doing.....".

Customer:

i would like to appologize to him if you could figure it out

pdheslin :

I want to say it's like a car, or a bike, or something like that

pdheslin :

I need your help interpreting these symbols

Customer:

ok

pdheslin :

But it's not that....those are merely symbols of the feeling of something from his youth, that continues into adult hood

pdheslin :

can you think is there something about him that you wish would change...is it going out with the guys, or something that he spends time on

pdheslin :

a hobby....sometthing. That's the energy around this.

Customer:

he's a mechanic and works all the time - he does have major issues with his father but nothing seems to be ringing a bell

pdheslin :

Ok so the wheels is what I was seeing and I should have taken that literally

pdheslin :

it's the work...but it's very, very important to him

pdheslin :

It's gives him "status" ...it's a link to his boyhood as well

pdheslin :

Remember, I said this is his perception, not that you really feel this way, ok?

pdheslin :

He feels you don't support his work, and the time he spends there, or that you don't understand the deep meaning it has for him.

Customer:

did i say something about it i thought i supported him

Customer:

i can't seem to remember anything

pdheslin :

Well, it doesn't mean that you said anything at all....it's just an assumption he makes.

Customer:

a few weeks ago we did have a conversation about a female friend of his that he said to me she wanted to move in with him, but he said no because she had a dog and i did get a little offended as he doesn't want me to move in with him maybe it was that

pdheslin :

that could be contributing to it too, but I think it's deeper than that

pdheslin :

But the Guidance from spirit on this is....

pdheslin :

a deeper meeting of the minds

pdheslin :

it doesn't have to be specific....it can be as simple as lovingly looking into his eyes with a smile and saying...

pdheslin :

I feel things are different....I hope I haven't done anything to offend you or put you off...

pdheslin :

if I have, It's certainly not my intent, and I apologize if I have

pdheslin :

because I care for you very much.

pdheslin :

and then just go silent

pdheslin :

Not expecting anything in response.

pdheslin :

let him take the lead from there. If he doesn't respond right away, that's ok, give him time to process it

Customer:

i'm not sure he wants to see me anymore - he just keeps saying he's busy i think whatever it was has maybe ruined everything

pdheslin :

Or maybe his own thinking ruined everything

pdheslin :

If that's where he is, then maybe it is indeed time to stop calling.

pdheslin :

That's one of your options

Customer:

do you see this relationship surviving

pdheslin :

Your perception seems to be that it's not at the moment, if he's too busy to see you.

pdheslin :

I see potential and possiblities

pdheslin :

anything is possible

pdheslin :

no reading is written in stone, due to free will, Act of God and nature

pdheslin :

but there is potential, but you have to act on it

pdheslin :

If you sit back and wait, and let him make all the decisions in a vaccuum without the real communication, he will be misunderstanding you

pdheslin :

You know the saying, "faint heart never won fair maiden" it means you have to be brave in love

pdheslin :

and willing to take a chance...willing to look like a fool even.

pdheslin :

I do have to sign off

Customer:

he did tell me tonight that his son wanted to spend the weekend with him - not sure if he's just saying that or it really is true. i do really enjoy him in my life - i'm not re

pdheslin :

I hope you take some time to consider all that we've talked about

pdheslin :

You can't ruminate over whether that's true, you'll have to take it at face value.

pdheslin :

But please do come back to this tomorrow and re-read what I've said.

Customer:

what does that mean

pdheslin :

There is miscommunication happening. When that happens, we fill in the blanks with our own imagination, our own fears.

pdheslin :

which of my statements are you referring to?

Customer:

face value

pdheslin :

Oh, you have to accept that what he's telling you is true.

pdheslin :

that his son is spending the weekend with him

pdheslin :

I am sorry, I must leave now, is there anything else I can answer quickly before I head out?

Customer:

do you think i should try and save this relationship or walk away

pdheslin :

Mine is not to tell you that...mine is to give you hidden information so YOU can make that decision on your own.

pdheslin :

That has to be your choice. This is earth school. I'm a tutor, I will guide, encourage, but I wont give you the answer key to the tests :)

pdheslin :

If I leave you with nothing else, know this. You two arent truly communicating at an emotional level. Get real, get brassy, get bold. Say what you mean, what is in your heart and accept whatever follows. THAT is your destiny.

pdheslin :

I must leave....

pdheslin :

G'night :) come back and re-read this tomorrow...

pdheslin :

Warmly,

pdheslin :

Pam

pdheslin, Consultant
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 2634
Experience: 20+ years of internet site creation and search engine optimization. Dozens of search tools at my disposal.
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