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SpecialistMichael
SpecialistMichael, MS, CSCS
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 507
Experience:  Senior Information Specialist
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i keep being afraid of making mistakes. I also am afraid of

Resolved Question:

i keep being afraid of making mistakes. I also am afraid of failure. I get sick of my wife and dad. Do you have any good advice for me
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Patience replied 2 years ago.

Patience :

Hello- Thanks for using Just answer! Are you available to chat?

Customer:

yes

Patience :

My name is XXXXX XXXXX yours?

Customer:

Sokun

Patience :

Ok. Sokun, can you tell me more about what is going on with you?

Customer:

Yes, first up i feel really confused and am afraid of making mistakes

Patience :

Is this new or have you always been feeling this way?

Customer:

for quite awhile now

Patience :

How long is quite awhile/

Patience :

?

Customer:

1 year or so

Patience :

What was happening in your life about 1 year or so ago?

Customer:

i left my job

Patience :

Oh, what was your job?

Customer:

debt collector

Patience :

What was happening that you had to leave that job?

Customer:

i got too stressed, the job was really hard

Patience :

Ok, so you left your job feeling stressed. What else?

Customer:

thats it

Patience :

You wre saying something about your dad and your wife?

Customer:

oh i just am sick of living with my dad and my wife is always accusing me of things

Patience :

you live with your dad because of finances?

Customer:

yes

Patience :

That sounds difficult.

Customer:

it is

Patience :

How old are you BTW Sokun?

Customer:

27

Patience :

That's a difficult age and stage because you are making a transition into full adulthood. what gives you pleasure in life?

Customer:

just looking for work, studying and having a website

Patience :

Wow, you've got a website? What's it about?

Customer:

um teaching people about job interviews

Patience :

Are you studying business then?

Customer:

actually i'm just studying about stress management

Patience :

well that sounds like it can be helpful . Are you finding some good techniques for yourself with that?

Customer:

yes and i feel it will help with making money

Patience :

you are probably right about that. there are a lot of stressed people in this world! Good on you.

Customer:

thanks

Patience :

most welcome. so did something happen that you decidd to check in today?

Customer:

well i just get really confused using the Internet on my mobile phone

Patience :

Confused?

Customer:

i tried to check my stats for my website on the phone and i'm afraid i pressed something wrong

Patience :

So what is going on with your wife and your dad? You were expressing that there are problems there.

Patience, Internet Researcher
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 255
Experience: MA Clinical Psychology; BS Health Sciences
Patience and 49 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  SpecialistMichael replied 2 years ago.
Sokun,

My name is XXXXX XXXXX I would like to help. I have helped other JA customers in tough situations.

I understand if you would still like to continue with patience however I am also available to help.

Simply let me know. If I am away from the computer you can request me specifically and I will get back to you as soon as I get back to a computer.

I am sorry to hear about the rough spot you are in, let me know how I can help.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Mike yeah can i get help from you.
Expert:  SpecialistMichael replied 2 years ago.
Hi Sokun, I am glad we can actually work together.

I read here that you are concerned with your wife making accusations but also that you had some issues with work that stressed you out. Why don't you tell me what some of your fears are with the mistakes you mention and things like that so I can get an idea of the picture of the situation.

I am also curious to your job and family situation that is causing you stress.

I am ready for any and all detail you are comfortable sharing.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
basically i just find it hard to get along with my wife. She's the only one working and i feel useless sometimes. I want to work but can't find a job yet.
Expert:  SpecialistMichael replied 2 years ago.
Sokun, I just wanted to double check and make sure you were satisfied with your correspondence with Patience and to make sure you are still comfortable working with me. I see that you accepted her chat with you - just wanted to be sure.

In regards XXXXX XXXXX wife - what are her feelings of you unable to find work currently?

Many economies are in a rough spot right now, even and especially in the some of the specialized trades. You shouldn't at all feel worthless because you are not. Its a very rough situation to be without work or to be limited on work especially when you want to work so bad. There are MILLIONS and MILLIONS of people who are in the same situation, trying to find any sort of work in a myriad of different places and economic situations. Unfortunately its becoming a product of our time so you absolutely need to know its not your fault you can't find work.

The other part to this is that your wife really needs to understand the situation and if not someone needs to be able to show her what is really going on. I have heard and experienced a lot of different issues with couples and even friends where one person is out of work, simply because their company or job had to downsize, but the other person simply didn't understand - they thought it was a motivation and initiative thing but it truly was a no work available situation. The one couple I knew, the man had a master's degree but couldn't even get hired by a local store to work the over night shelf stocking shift...the girl obviously thought that was a lie, but there was truly just no fit for him. So as long as you are doing your part regularly to find work - then you are more than good, and you just need to realize unfortunately its VERY common in today's age. If you're not looking, make sure you maximize your time and do your part and I can tell you that even IF you don't find work, as long as you have looked hard, you're going to feel better. Your wife needs to better understand the situation and understand that you actually would rather work and if the roles were reversed you would be just as supportive until she got back on her feet.

To touch on your fears of making mistakes - thats completely normal(the fear) but so is making mistakes, we are all human. The one thing you need to do is actually learn from the mistake, even if it happens every so often. Some things are completely out of people's control but as long as a lesson is learned as to why the mistake happened, either on how to prevent recurrence in the future or for the next time the way to actually repair the situation(no matter how minor or major) thats the important thing. I make mistakes daily, every single day. Today for example I left 2 very important things at home that I absolutely needed to bring in to work - the lesson: double check and write down my things not to forget - the fix - I took my lunch at 1030 to go pick them up. Definitely reinforcement on both parts with that. You can't let mistakes get you down at all, all you need to do is learn from them - its what we have done since we were children.
SpecialistMichael, MS, CSCS
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 507
Experience: Senior Information Specialist
SpecialistMichael and 49 other General Specialists are ready to help you

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