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Patience, Internet Researcher
Category: General
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Experience:  MA Clinical Psychology; BS Health Sciences
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I am a Christian and not a virgin, but would really like to

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I am a Christian and not a virgin, but would really like to not have sex anymore till marriage. My boyfriend is new to Christianity and when I brought this up in conversation he will not agree to this. This leads me to questions everything about our relationship. What should I do?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Patience replied 4 years ago.
Hi- Welcome to Just Answer and thanks for your question.

First off it is always your choice to decide whether you want to have sex or not. Sometimes a guy can get a little pushy about sex, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't care about you.

Basically, you two need to talk in the clear light of day with no romantic temptations around. You can accept that you both may have strong feelings for each other, but people don't have to act on every feeling they have, right? Tell your guy that this is something you've decided on and it's not up for discussion. Also, put a positive spin on things--tell him what you would like to do in your relationship with him, such as cuddling. Then help out the situation by making sure you two don't hang out in places where you know you might be tempted to go back on your decision. A big point is for you to have confidence and comfortability with your decision, then to show him how you can still have fun together.

If your boyfriend keeps nagging you or trying to make you change your mind, then he may not want the same things out of life that you do and maybe he's just not the right one for you. Since he's new to Christianity, though, maybe he just needs a little time.

Good luck to you both! I hope these thoughts help. Feel free to ask further questions if needed. Please
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