How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Norman M. Your Own Question

Norman M.
Norman M., Researcher, Lecturer and Psychotherapist
Category: Homework
Satisfied Customers: 2544
Experience:  ADHP(NC), ECP and UKCP Registered.
14727623
Type Your Question Here...
Norman M. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

my partner never wants sex and has no interest in sex at all

Resolved Question:

my partner never wants sex and has no interest in sex at all what is wrong with him
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Norman M. replied 3 years ago.

Sorry to hear what you are going through just now. Sadly, it is NOT uncommon. In most relationships, at first, sex is fun and frequent. With the passing of time, frequency tends to drop off, and interest wanes. I do not think that this is a conscious choice on your husband’s part, just a natural progression.

I am perfectly sure that there is nothing 'wrong' with you. You have tried the standard approaches to this sort of problem, obviously without much success.

Firstly, it would be useful to persuade him to have a physical checkup. It is possible that is hormones are out of balance, and low testosterone can be treated. It may be too that he is over-stressed, over tired or suffering from depression.

If there is no physical reason, then the problem may well be psychological, in which case I think you would find a sex therapist very helpful.

Secondly, it's time for some home truths - he needs to understand quite clearly how this is making you feel - unloved, unwanted, rejected I suspect, and also that you are not prepared to go through the rest of your life like that. I suggest that you tell him that unless he agrees to counselling with a sex therapist, you will have to consider what your future is going to be.

He is an adult and must understand about actions and consequences. We humans only indulge in behaviour that bring reward of some kind. Only when that reward (whatever it might be) disappears, or the consequences of our behaviour promise to be unpleasant do we consider changing what we do. Home comforts come with a cost, and that cost is AT LEAST as much affection as he shows the cat – or he can get the cat to do his laundry!

He needs, therefore to be given a reason to change.

Give him choices, and make sure he understands the consequences of their choice – and always follow through. If you don’t he’ll just get confused.

Never, never be blaming or accusatory. Stick to facts, tell him how you feel about his behaviour, and make sure he understands that while you love him, his disinterest Is hurtful and will not be accepted for much longer.

Best wishes,

NormanM

Norman M., Researcher, Lecturer and Psychotherapist
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 2544
Experience: ADHP(NC), ECP and UKCP Registered.
Norman M. and 97 other General Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Manal Elkhoshkhany

    Tutor

    Satisfied Customers:

    4522
    More than 5000 online tutoring sessions.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/BU/BusinessTutor/2012-2-2_115741_Kouki2.64x64.jpg Manal Elkhoshkhany's Avatar

    Manal Elkhoshkhany

    Tutor

    Satisfied Customers:

    4522
    More than 5000 online tutoring sessions.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/ComputersGuru/2010-02-13_051118_Photo41.JPG LogicPro's Avatar

    LogicPro

    Engineer

    Satisfied Customers:

    3458
    Expert in Java C++ C C# VB Javascript Design SQL HTML
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/LI/lindaus/2012-6-10_04811_IMG20120609164157.64x64.jpg Linda_us's Avatar

    Linda_us

    Finance, Accounts & Homework Tutor

    Satisfied Customers:

    3124
    Post Graduate Diploma in Management (MBA)
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/chooser77/2009-08-18_162025_Chris.jpg Chris M.'s Avatar

    Chris M.

    M.S.W. Social Work

    Satisfied Customers:

    2385
    Master's Degree, strong math and writing skills, experience in one-on-one tutoring (college English)
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/JawaadAhmed/2009-6-27_12137_SIs_SHadi.jpg F. Naz's Avatar

    F. Naz

    Chartered Accountant

    Satisfied Customers:

    1988
    Experience with chartered accountancy
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/JK/jkcpa/2011-1-16_182614_jkcpa.64x64.jpg Bizhelp's Avatar

    Bizhelp

    CPA

    Satisfied Customers:

    1876
    Bachelors Degree and CPA with Accounting work experience
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/avremote/photoa.jpg Seanna's Avatar

    Seanna

    Tutor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1781
    3,000+ satisfied customers, all topics, A+ work
 
 
 

Related General Questions

Chat Now With An Expert
Norman M.
Norman M.
Expert
2544 Satisfied Customers
ADHP(NC), ECP and UKCP Registered.