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Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18706
Experience:  M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
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Ok Im back from meeting with Chris!!!! It was a quick drink

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Ok I'm back from meeting with Chris!!!! It was a quick drink about an hour and a half. He was helping his daughter move to her first apartment..but we had a nice chat.. HE QUIZZED ME BIG TIME ABOUT "MY RELATIONSHIP" we reminisced a little.. OK what was his initial thought when we first saw each other..it's been a year. What is he thinking as he drives the hour to the south side..does he want t o see me again? His kids are coming monday for a week...
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Thank you so much for letting me know you're back from your meeting with Chris! I was sitting here and waiting and wondering and hoping you were having a fantastic time!! : )

I'm glad he asked about your relationship, because now that he knows you and Greg are no longer an item, he feels the 'field' is free for him and he's happy about that. When he first saw you, he was very impressed! Thinks you look great!

As he drove back to the south side, he was going over in his mind, the great time you just had and he does want to see you again. When his kids come on Monday, he's considering asking you over to see the baby, as you thought he might.

It will be interesting to see if he emails or calls, later, to tell you what a good time he had and/or how it was great seeing you again and reminiscing; however, remember, he had his flight home today, and is probably exhausted, so if he doesn't call/contact you, it will be because he's tired and don't be disappointed.

How do you feel? Are you excited? Happy? It went well, didn't it?? : )

Regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yeah! It was nice to see him..he looked great. I'm glad he thought i did.. As usual..it wasn't a few hours cleared for just me..he had something ELSE to do, which kind of put me off..it's like he had someplace else to be. But I let it go immediately. He wanted to know DETAILS about "my guy" he doesn't know who it is..(he says) BUT he didn't say I want to see you again..or anything. WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?! I told him what didn't work with greg i.e., I need several days to myself at times, that I never plan on getting married again (greg wanted to marry me btw) I told that to chris..what did he think about those issues that I know are important to him also So you think he might email me to come visit when the baby is there? I plan to go silent for at least a week until after the kids are gone...
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

I had a feeling when he said 'I'll be near your house', he had something else to do in the area. Glad you let it go, right away, so it didn't dampen your mood. It's typical Chris, right? You couldn't be angry, really; he wanted to see you! Let's focus on the positives. : )

I thought he may have known who 'your guy' was. Good thing he doesn't, or we hope he doesn't. You were honest with him and I'm sure he understood the 'smothering' type position you were put in with Greg, and he doesn't like that himself, either. If you said you never want to get married again, I'm sure he understood why, also, after knowing/seeing what you went through with your divorce. He doesn't sound like he's looking to get married again, either (Mr. Confirmed Bachelor!), so having that possibility removed from the equation might have made him feel 'easier' about keeping in touch and seeing you more. I think it was a good thing you told the truth about why you and Greg split up. Very forthright of you! : )

It's a good idea to remain silent while the kids are here, as he will be preoccupied/busy, and there is a possibility he may ask you to come see the baby, so that would be a nice surprise.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
He never said oh btw i've been in washington..i knew he wouldn't. Does he feel like he dodged a bullet when I asked him NOTHING about his girlfriend escapades etc., I never put him on the spot like he does me, which I think is so funny.. I never ask..is he glad that I don't? I was almost afraid to because I thought he might tell me that he's seeing someone..do you think he is? Is he thinking to himself..dude I can't leave her out there tooo long..i need to step up to the plate before she's snatched up again? (seriously i stay so solo that i'm not out there at all, it's not my thing) But c'mon any red blooded guy would think that right? He made a few inuendos i.e;, "you must have rocked his world" as in the bedroom which made me snicker a little..is he jealous about that?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

I can't believe he never said he was in Washington! Where does his daughter live? I thought perhaps in WA, and that's where he was, helping her to set up her apartment. Does she live on the island? You did the right thing in not putting him on the spot, but yes, he doesn't seem shy doing that do YOU! lol Yes, he was glad you didn't ask about any girlfriends/escapades. Not asking makes you #1 a lady and #2 seem uninterested, which intrigues him. Makes you appear very self-assured and why would you want to know about any women he's been with? It doesn't matter to you (he thinks) men will be men, right? Yes, you also avoided the discomfort/potential upset that he is seeing someone, but I don't think he is.

Because you were with Greg and now are solo again, the thought might have occurred to him that if he doesn't snatch you up soon, you might be off the market again; he realizes that you ARE attractive to other men and are capable of being in a relationship. The fact that he made that comment re: 'you must have rocked his world' could have been him 'fishing', although he probably just guessed that if you're in a relationship with someone for a period of time, you're certainly going to have bedroom activities and yes, I think it made him a little jealous imagining you with another man.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
His daughter lives on his side of the island, went to college on the mainland, is back now, was living with him And now she isnt! He was helping her to move into her new place tonight. Does he wish that he'd made more time for me? Why wouldn't he do you think? I mean he had one beer, there was no eating..it was clear he had other places to be. That is just his nature though it wasn't intentional.

Is he glad to have his daughter our of the house so that I might be able to come over? I do think that hampered him this last year..(we both feel strongly about dating in front of our kids if their in the house.)

Is he glad that we reconnected? Did he mention to his daughter that he saw me? When he said I must've rocked gregs world you could tell by the way he looked at me that he was speaking from first hand experience..pretty cute, I thought. I ignored the implication in my southern genteel way..(blech!)

Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Thanks for your clarification re: his daughter and the apartment. I thought that was the reason he was away! Understood, now.

I think once he saw you, he did wish he had made more time for you, but he was already obligated to helping his daughter move tonight. You said you had a 'short drink'--an hour and a half.....that's not so short! lol Yes, I think he's glad you reconnected; it was a long time coming.....and now it finally happened!

Yes, I do believe he's glad his daughter is out of the house now, so you might come over and there won't be any 'obstacles', like kids walking in. I agree with you both re: the no dating in front of your kids, if they're home, rule; very sensible and thoughtful!

He may have mentioned that he saw you, to his daughter, but just in passing; didn't make a big deal of it, tried to be casual.

If he was looking at you like he was speaking from first hand experience, re: the 'rock his world' statement w/Greg, that WAS pretty cute! : ) You did the right thing, in not really responding to that, in your 'southern, genteel way'! lol I'm glad he said that and looked at you that way; he's remembering some good times.....

It's time for me to sign off, so I'll be in touch tomorrow. I think you'll sleep well,
tonight! Laughing

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
You have a really fun job,I think!
It's amazingly gorgeous today..well, it is everyday.

So Chris and I are kibbitzing a bit this morning. How was his evening,what does he want to do about me. After he got done with his daughter did he have think-fest about lil ole me?

he told me yesterday that his ex wife will be seeing the baby..i think when his son arrives (maybe tomorrow, not sure) and then she is going to the mainland into a rehab facility for like 3 months or something. So sad. Is chris glad she will be off island because I think he worried about her causing problems for us in the past. So much is being illuminated as to why he kept me at arms length. (twin flame drama to work thru)..so now, she'll be gone is he relieved? Is he trying to come up with a way to see me? Or will he just wait till after the kids are gone..i would love to get to see the baby but I just can't imagine him inviting me..he's so private. But you say possibly..
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again!

I'm so glad you're enjoying a gorgeous day--but look where you live! : ) I'm in South Florida and we are having a thunderstorm at the moment......typical SoFla summer weather, and hurricane season, too (yuck!).

I'm glad you were communicating/kibbitzing with Chris this morning.....you mean through email, right? I think he enjoyed his evening and was really glad to see you. He did think about you on the way home and after he got home.

It's nice that his ex-wife will finally be meeting her grandson! It's good that she will be getting the help she needs, by going into rehab on the mainland; this has been long overdue. Yes, this will be significant, as Chris will be relieved she will be off-island, and this will help him feel more relaxed about you. I think your feeling that he worried about her causing problems for you in the past, is correct, and if she is not on the island it will change his perspective and he will feel more free to progress in his relationship with you; but he will proceed cautiously.

He will not invite you to see the baby when his ex is there; that's a 'given'. However, I do feel it will be a good opportunity for him to invite you to see the baby, when it's just him and his kids and his grandson. Do you think it would be inappropriate for you to hint at an invitation? You can bring up the fact that you share a birthday, you predicted it would be a boy, etc., and wouldn't it be nice if you could meet him, etc.

I understand you wanting to be 'quiet' while his kids are visiting, which you mentioned last night, and I agree with that, if he does not initiate any conversation/contact. But, I still feel there is a possibility he might invite you. If he doesn't, knowing how 'private' he is, don't take it personally (I don't think you will!) : ) You could always say what he did, yesterday, re: being 'near' his house, if you can find something legitimate to 'take care of' on his side of the island.....and ask if you could drop by on a certain day at a certain time, as he did with you. Would you consider this or would you feel it is too intrusive and might put him off?

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Well..I just got a call from chris..we chatted a while and then he divulged that he still had his girlfriend. Who's from Washington..surprise. I said of course i assumed (liar that i am) He said it was great to see me..he wanted to chat about all kinds of things..eventuallly i said..well get back to your day.. and then we hung up. So there it is. He's involved. Wow..didn't see it coming. What's going on in his head now that we have just hung up? She's moving here. :( Why is he so forthcoming about the details etc., I don't get it. I have to admit i'm bummed.
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Oh boy! I'm shocked! I'm so sorry you're bummed. : ( I got such a strong feeling that he was into you, from last night's meeting. He still wants you involved in his life. He considers your friendship a very precious commodity and is glad you have been friends for so long. Nothing is written in stone. You need to remain a part of his life and there's no guarantee that this will work out with the girlfriend. She may not have the stamina YOU have to live on the island, hopefully, will be miserable, and go back from whence she came! You said you have to be strong to survive the island and you proved right away, that you were. It's a built-in thing, and let's hope she doesn't possess it!

Yes, why all of a sudden is he such a chatterbox? Maybe he felt you should 'know' of his involvement so it doesn't come as a surprise, later on. It's important that you remain involved in his life so you can keep tabs on the relationship.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I just don't understand.. I mean (not to brag) but there is no one better than me. I knew there was something he wanted to tell me. At this moment is he considering that he has lost me? How does he feel about that now that we've had the convo..some regret maybe? She must be something if he's willing to allow her to move here etc., he made a comment regarding "our relationship"..I told him gently that i have never considered it one, (an affair yes, an email relationship yes, i saw him 4 times since i moved here..hardly qualifies as a relationship) Did that resonate with him? I didn't say that exactly but i said our thing had it's own category that i couldn't name. Is he feeling sad or glad to have gotten it off his chest. I could tell he was blowing me off.. when he suddenly wanted to squeeze me in. Hate that i allowed it.
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
I completely agree with you. You are the best (you are not being immodest!), and what he has with you is unequalled. I don't feel he feels he has lost you; I feel he still wants you to be part of his life. You are/were a very important part of his life, and this cannot be swept under the rug. Your comment re: you two not having a 'relationship' and it being something else with it's own categorization, resonated with him.

There's no way you could have known why he wanted to meet last night, so don't beat yourself up about allowing it. This was SO out of left field! I do think he was anxious to get it off his chest, that he still had the girlfriend, and that she was moving there. I still can't believe that! I knew you suspected he had a girlfriend, but was surprised when you said 'he still has the girlfriend'. When did you know about this, and what has he said about it in the past?

I'm not advising that you should continue to 'count' on something with him at this time, which should prevent you from going out, having fun, and getting involved in a relationship with someone else, if the opportunity presents itself; however, I do think you should still keep in touch with him, because you never know what the future will bring. He is not ready to blow you off and he does not want you out of his life. I also think you should get to know his girlfriend. You know what they say: keep your friends close and your enemies closer....try to befriend her, if the conditions are favorable, and I think this may lead to a better position for you, knowing more about her. I don't know if he will allow this, but, it might happen accidentally, like if you should decide to visit the baby next week? You're going to drop that idea, now, aren't you? : )

I know you're hurting, but this too shall pass. You are a survivor and you will make the best of the situation. Just remember, you have done nothing to cause this. It was out of your hands.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
He lives on the total other side of the island.. It's like a different country. The chances of us meeting are slim to none, which is fine. I just sent him an email (couldn't help myself) which said..Hey it's me again LOL. "I don't know why but i've always had a sixtth sense re:you so of course, i knew you were involved." "I simply wanted to run my latest escapades by soomeone who could relate." "And who else but..you."
and when you get married, make sure there's a pic in the Garden Island (the newspaper here.) "thanks for making me laugh" is how i ended it. Now i know why his phone says Washington..he purchased a phone while he was there. I mean, she's moving in with him, that's why his daughter moved out. Is the finality of this sinking in? What will he think about my last and final email?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

I understand the other side of the island is like a different country. You're saying there will be no reason to run into him, unless he comes to your side.....but what about his daughter? where did she move? didn't he say he'd be in your area last night, because he was helping his daughter move into her new apt.? But the new apt. is not on your side of the island? It must be near him; makes sense......

What 'escapades' did you run by him?

The phone was purchased in Washington, but doesn't the tracker tell the location of the person at the time? Is your tracker still saying he's in Washington?

Yes, makes sense now, that his daughter is moving out, if she's moving in with him.

He doesn't know it's your final email. When you said 'thanks for making me laugh', was that like, "thanks for being in my life and see ya 'round"? Is that how you wrote it and that's how you wanted him to take it? Unless it was very 'direct' that you would not be communicating with him again, I don't think he will think it's your final email.

Regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
daughters on the other side of the island waaay far away. He had to drive back to move her...he was on my side doing business which he does from time to time.

BotXXXXX XXXXXne is, he moved on a long time ago. He will probably be this cryptic guy forever, it wasnt meant to be. Does he seem sad? He might not be. He purchased a phone in washington and could very well be using that plan now. Like my kids #'s are mainland phones and still go thru the mainland network.

I just need to move on. I don't want to date, just did that, it's waaay too much trouble for me. I am not a dater. Do you pick up on his girlfriend at all? I wonder if it's all true, not sure if i believe all of it. I think he wanted to see my reaction, frankly.
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
OK, got it! Since you mentioned him helping his daughter move AND 'being in your area', I thought maybe the two were related.

I agree that he was very interested in your reaction, and you couldn't have handled it better, if you rehearsed it! Why are you doubting if it's all true? What parts do you think are not believable or that he would not be truthful about?

Re: picking up on the girlfriend, do you mean picking up that he's telling the truth and she exists, or picking up on what she's like?

You're right to decide to move on, and if you're not a dater (I feel the same way for the same reasons!), someone will pop into your life, when you least expect it.

Regards,
Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18706
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 112 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Because sometimes XXXXX XXXXXes the truth TO get a reaction to see where I stand. I handle everything with grace so he thinks i don't care, i guess. As i write this he is reading (my final email..had to do it) He told me that I would be getting married before him cuz Kelly was quite a catch. My email said.."you're right he is and so is your girlfriend because you dumped lil ole me for her and i'm the majorish catch there is...duh!" So what did he think about our convo, is he sorry he mentioned the chick?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Ok, this is the first time you're mentioning Kelly, so I'm stumped. Who is he?

I admire the way you handle everything with grace and decided to send him your final email. You think so clearly in the face of adversity! I'm so glad you said that to him! Oh yeah, I think he's sorry he mentioned her and I think he's also sorry he's losing one of the best women to ever enter his life!

I don't think he will take this as your final email.......I do think he will write back and/or contact you again. Don't you feel he will or did you tell him not to?

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Kelly is my pretend BF as in kelly slater the famous surfer he jokes about kelly all the time...he's holographic like chris! Is he starting to think that maybe he's making a BIG mistake? By allowing me to go away? Is he wanting to discuss things a little further...i had to kick him off the phone this morning. It will be too late cuz im done. I think he feels it. I called him on allowing himself to walk away from yes, the best woman ever..how did he feel about that...i think he's pouting. I also told him earlier that i have a sixth sense about him and that i knew he was involved (that probably freaked him out) Just throw up if you're as sick of me as I am
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Oh yes! Kelly Slater.....I forgot he's your pretend holographic boyfriend that Chris jokes about. lol Thanks for the reminder! : )

No, I'm not sick of you, not throwing up. : ) You have no reason to be sick of you, either. You did everything right. He IS kicking himself and he's pouting because you told it to him straight; no beating around the bush. You had to kick him off the phone this morning? Isn't it amazing how he became Mr. Communicative/Mr. Chatterbox all of a sudden, after he told you this news? I think you mentioning that you had a sixth sense about him being involved, did freak him out and he's probably wondering what else you 'know', intuitively, which he didn't tell you.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
someday on my deathbed i will tell chris that the real reason that i left greg was because each day i was in it with greg the more i missed chris. chris was the reason i left greg. Can you pick up on his mood tonight? i know i've put you through a lot. Mahalo for everything. I'm sure i'll start a new saga tomorrow!
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Oh, you're so very welcome! I meant what I said; it really is a pleasure to go through this journey with you! : )

His mood tonight, is split. On the one hand, he's upset at your reaction to the news and what you said, but on the other, he's excited that the kids are coming. He's feeling very 'family-oriented' and can't wait to see them on Monday.

I think you should have the opportunity to tell him that you left Greg because you missed HIM, before you are on your deathbed. I hope something changes and there's trouble with the girlfriend moving there........

I'll say goodnight now, and speak with you tomorrow. : )

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
well.. here I am AGAIN!
chris emailed me a response to some email from yesterday..it said.."For the record you dumped me and we both agree that you are the best catch" He's referring to something way back when..and I had just reminded him how he dumped lil ole me for his girlfriend...anywhoooo when i got the "you dumped me" email I got mad and sent him a play by play from a year ago of how it really went down. He could tell i was angry because he then sent me.."i was kidding but i can see now it wasn't funny, didn't mean to offend you.." My response to that was...it takes alot to set my hair on fire and you just poured the kerosene and lit the match,," LOL!
HE THEN CALLED ME (i knew the hair on fire would get him) I was on the other line. I left for the afternooon. His email just now was "do you want to talk about it or should i just go away" i responded with.."you have already gone, i didn't get a vote" If ever you want to talk in the flesh i would consider that because the phone sucks the big shabona" "its up to you"....WHAT IS GOING ON WITH HIM, WHATS HE DOING AND THINKING...IS HE WANTING TO SEE ME? WHAT?!
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again!

I'm so glad to hear from you and your update of what went on between you and Chris today! Thanks so much for your patience.....it's been a busy night and I seem to be in demand! lol

WOW! You are amazing! You think so well and so clearly under pressure and gave him such great comebacks! I'm glad you not taking his call, due to the circumstances, prompted him to write again to ask if you just don't want him in your life anymore......Telling him you consider talking in person much better than on the phone, was genius!

This is my impression: he can't stand that you indicated quite clearly that he hurt you and he feels guilty about it. He wants to make things 'all better' by continuing to be your friend and emailing, calling, kibbitzing around like in the 'old days'. He, being HIM and being a man, sees nothing wrong with this.......You, being a woman sees EVERYTHING wrong with this. I admire your strength of character in the face of adversity; I mentioned this yesterday. I understand that you don't want to have anything to do with him if he is with someone else and you feel YOU deserve to be in that position as his girlfriend. However, I feel strongly, that as long as you keep in touch, the possibility always exists for him to get the rocks out of his head and realize you have always been the one. If you don't communicate at all anymore, I feel the possibility for that is not very favorable, although it could always happen at some time down the road.

I think he will want to see you, if you indicated you'd rather do that, than talk on the phone, and he wants to make things 'right'. He can't live with the thought that he hurt you and you won't absolve his guilt about doing that. I think he may be coming to a realization of what he's just lost.......

Regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Well..so his response was...(i cant bee-lieve i do this to you, but whatever) "OK, let's talk in the flesh, I struggle with email." "I'm off to get the Hawk" and then he signed it with "c" (which is our private moniker, which had gone away but now is back) Hawk is his grandson..his real name is Ka'ipo, which means Hawk in Hawaiian. His son lives on the Big island and there are hawks there..none on kaua'i. "He then typed Big Shabona? :)" Sooo it's interesting he added "c" my nickname from him is Crickett, and we sign with "c"..when were connected so to speak. My girlfriend who's a channel..says that there reallly isn't a girlfriend..at all. Who would spend so much time in this whole thing if there were..? Also back and forth emails with his kids coming etc.,..there's way more to the story. I emailed and said Awww I want a Hawk too! Told him to have fun and the in the flesh thing..whenever. I will wait and see what happens after this week. I sense he will invite me to his house..we'll see! How's he feeling about our latest exchanges? Phew! I'm tired. But hey i'm by myself as usual and i'm so fascinated by all of this..aren't you? LOL Wow you're in demand..must be nice. Haven't heard a peep from greg I feel badly for him.
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Please allow me to digest this and I will write back in a few minutes...... : ) Stay online, okay?

Regards,
Cher
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Utterly fascinating! If it weren't happening to you in real life, I would swear it was from a romance novel! Unbelievable!

Well, I certainly think things are looking up, since yesterday! He's going back to his old ways, with using your secret moniker, agreed that you should meet in person, talks about where he's going, his grandson (Hawk is such a cool name!) in other words, being communicative and not so secretive, again. I also think your friend, the channel, may be on the right track. It totally doesn't make sense that he is communicating with you like this, 'just like old times', if there is a girlfriend. But why would he make up such a story? To see your reaction? Very mysterious.......

I think the way you left things today was very good and may be a sign of things to come!

Regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
It's kind of to see my reaction, but it's really a protective mechanism, if he's supposedly involved and i'm not into him then he can't get hurt. PLUS he has been so careful not to get involved with un islanders or visitors (who leave) His latest story is utterly crazy.. but I could be a fraud. But today, he said do you want me to go away and I said I never wanted you to go away..and that's all it took for his heart to soften hence the sweeet email. I keep everything pretty close to the vest for the most part, he won't cross over unless he's sure i'm forever. I know it's weird..i mean the guy left the island for a month when I got here..me being here finally scared him. He knew he had to watch and wait from afar to see how I adjusted (not everyone does) I mean I hit a wild boar that ran out suddenly, it can be dangerous. Kaua'i is like the 1950's farmland and dirt roads and no shopping. Walmart, kmart one macys (which is awful) and tsunamis..they filmed jurrasic park here when hurricane iniki hit leveling the entire island. Steven speilberg was in the basement of some hotel demanding a helicopter come get him! It can be crazy here. Interesting, right?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Well, like I said, when you first described the island (but thanks for this additional detail, I find it very interesting!), it reminds me of "Lost", with the magical/mystical happenings. The island is an entity unto itself. Yes, quite 'backwards' in a way, and you mentioned not everyone adjusts, but you took to it like a duck to water!

How could he not think you were forever, when you've stayed there for so long and it's so obvious (to me, anyway), that you feel you belong there, it's your home, and nothing is drawing you away? How much 'surer' can he be? You've made it known how you feel, for the most part, without wearing your heart on your sleeve, and yes, I think he has put up a protective shield to prevent himself from being hurt. When you said "I never wanted you to go away", that was SO much what he wanted to hear! I'm glad you said it and I'm glad you got that 'softened heart' reaction from him! : )

Regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I think it's hilarious that you are taken with this story. My girlfriend Mari is like "OMG" this is so tedious, I think so too. Repeating the details seems so mundane and sideways that for someone looking i would think it looks a bit ridiculous. Forever, with him, I mean. When he first finally saw me after I got here we were standing in my kitchen and i said you are afraid that if you get involved with me that you might lose me and he got tears in his eyes and didn't say anything. Shit (sorry) doing my thing was greg albeit not the same was very hard..we both have had alot of pain..don't want to go there again, ever. I don't know how people get married after divorce it brings you to your knees, right?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

No, not at all; I don't find it tedious, nor mundane. It think the importance is IN the details.....there are subtle inuendos and nuances all through this story! : )

Awwww, that was so sweet that he got tears in his eyes when you said that in your kitchen. You KNOW he cares.......I know you both have a lot of pain, but look how much you've both been through. Yes, it's very difficult for most people to get remarried after divorce, but it so depends on the individual circumstances. It's different for everyone. Some people can't WAIT to 'start over' and others vow to never go through that again.....human nature.....we all have different needs and ways of dealing with them.

I'd love to keep writing, but it's my quitting time, so I'll say goodnight now and speak to you tomorrow. I hope you will have more updates on your saga! : )

Have a great night!

Regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hey! Man you are steadfast. I like your job, is it fun?

So..back to me. I know chris is busy and preoccupied with family etc., but i do notice that he's re-reading my emails...cute. (im a stalker, i know) Is he hoping for an email from me and is he looking forward to meeting with me? (after the hoopla dies down) It's kinda like he wants to see me..but has to wait now..is that killing him? Is he wishing that I could be there?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi!

Yup, that's me! Steadfast and steady as she goes...... : )

How are you doing today? So good to hear from you again! Yes, I love my job; it's very fun! : )

Whenever you say 'back to me', I picture the guy on the horse in the Old Spice commercial! Do you get that commercial on your 'retro' island? lol Just joshin'!

You know, his family visiting at this particular time, although he was looking forward to it very much and is loving it, is not happening at a great time for you. If he is re-reading your emails (how can you tell? what kind of programs to you have there?? lol), you are definitely on his mind. Let's put it this way: I feel if you were to email him, he would most likely write back. He's thinking about you. Would you ever ask to see the baby/come over? Can you say you have a gift for the baby, which you would like to bring over? Or do you need him to extend the invitation?

Are you still resolute in not contacting him while the family is here? If you do speak on the phone or email, you could ask for him to send you a picture of the baby.....

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Oh no it would be totally out of context for me to "go see the baby" A. it's an hour and a half to the other side of the island. B. since we arent really anything (at least in his familys scope) it would be completely weird and possibly stalkerish. So the email tracker..(this may come in handy for your work) it's called "didtheyreadit.com" you can gooogle it and sign up it's like 40dollars a year. And then when you send an email you type in after the email address..i.e., XXXXX@XXXXXX.XXX. So when the sent email is opened I get an email that reflects that, the same for when they re-read it. It also tells where it is generated from. Kinda cool like if one's kids are far away or whatever. So like whith chris i send an email and within 10 secs. he reading it. He may respond a few hours later so as not to appear anxious..so funny. But now he jumps on them and responds right away. It's fun for me (since im always alone, by choice..not complaining) to see where he's at..it tells me alot. And if i send something profound or whatever it takes him awhile to mull over his response. Whatevah.. Can you tell if he's planning for me to come to his house? (plus the other reason i could never stop in is because he lives kind of like on a large compound-like piece of property, long dirt road etc., How was the florida full moon last night? It was gorgeous here. The full moon is very significant for Chris and I..big stuff usually goes down with us during one.
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Yes, you're right; under the circumstances, it would be out of context to go see his family and the baby; however, I thought perhaps if he contacts you by phone or email and brags about the baby, he might invite you over to see him in person.

That email tracker is something else! It sure does a lot! I know with certain email servers, if you are both members (the emailer and recipient), you can check if the mail has been read, but I never heard of checking that it's been re-read, so that's why I asked.

After the family leaves, I think there's a good chance he will ask you to come to his house, considering what has been said over the past few days. I do think you're on his mind. : )

The full moon was gorgeous here, too, but there has been a cloud cover most of the past few nights, so it was not easy to see; but, when the clouds parted momentarily, it was beautiful My son took many pics of the moon with his camera and they were awesome! I love full moons! I just feel they are so mystical!

It's great that the full moon is very significant for you and Chris. Maybe that's why all this big stuff IS going down, right now!

So, if he lives in sort of a compound-like property, you can't ever surprise him,
can you? : )

I think, if he had/has the opportunity to look at the full moon, he will definitely think of you!

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hey..i'm back!
Aloha!

OK..summon granny. What is going on with Chris regarding me. lots
going on.
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi!

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Aloha! So good to hear from you again! I've been thinking about you and hoping things were moving in a good direction for you.

Have you continued to email each other and speak on the phone?

Has his family left yet?

You sound very excited!

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yes to both, what're you picking up from him.
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

I'm picking up that he wants to continue to communicate with you because it is enjoyable, and even when you have a difference of opinion, he loves the challenges that you lay out for him. He enjoyed seeing the baby and his family, but are happy they've gone home so he can get back into his regular routine, which includes more speaking with YOU. He spoke to you while the family was here, didn't he?

Regards,
Cher

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