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Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18715
Experience:  M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
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Aloha Cher! I think I jusst landed on why Chris is being

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Aloha Cher!
I think I jusst landed on why Chris is being secretive about where he is. LOL (obsessed?) Normally he ALWAYS tells me when he's ditching because it conveyed his ability to move freely, "can't tie me down" so to speak. THIS TIME he kept it private, because he didn't WANT to convey that message to me. He doesnt want me to think he's avoiding me. He wants me not to feel like he's "fleeing" this time. what do you think..?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Aloha!

I hope all is well with you!

I think you're on to something.......he may not want you to feel he's 'fleeing/avoiding' so you don't take it the wrong way. Then, as he gets closer to the time he will return, he'll start writing more often and that 'fence' he normally puts up around his emotions, will not be there. A very intuitive thought and it makes sense!

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Good answer..you're probably thinkin' "i've got a live one here"! I get the feeling that when he gets an email from me he cringes hoping he can stretch out the week by avoiding them.. usually and lately he answers immediately so this is comical to observe. Do you get that he is chompin at the bit to get back? You can tell me if you think i'm reachin' Where does your intuition come from, do you use tarot or astrology, anything?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

No, I don't think he really 'cringes' when he gets an email from you, but if he's in the middle of something important or has a lot on his mind, he doesn't want to write back to you right away. If he's answering immediately, more recently, this is a good sign. Something has changed, and for the better, in your direction. His time to return may be nearing, and he is looking forward to seeing you. I don't feel that you're 'reaching', because you have evidence that he's enjoying your emails and writing back quickly, so I think this bodes well for when he gets back to the Island.

My intuition is innate. I'm a third generation psychic, and have always felt I had a 'gift', as did my mother and grandmother before me. My daughter also is blessed in this way. I use astrology, also. I believe a lot is written in the stars.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yeah that's how it is with me, as well.I had a feeling you were a natural intuitve, wasn't feeling the tarot although it doesn't lie. Same with my grandmother and my two children. Chris hasn't started to respond immediately ...yet. I was referring to his normal behavior before he skipped town. Do you feel he is anxious to get back? I get that he's still on the middle of it..is his return coming up..like end of the week? But then his children come with the new baby...will he put me off longer or squeeze me in before they get here..does he maaaybe want me to meet the baby while they are here? Is he toying with that idea...?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Yes, I believe you had mentioned you were a natural intuitive also, and I'm not surprised! Your feelings have been right, many times! : ) Isn't it funny how it runs in families?

The way you wrote earlier, I thought he was responding to your emails immediately, now, so thanks for the clarification. I feel he's beginning to think about returning home, but has not taken care of everything he needs to, so he plans for a day to leave, but then something else comes up and oops, he has to put it off again. If things go smoothly with him, the end of this week, or the middle of next week might be the time he's thinking of coming home this time around. But, again, things might come up which are out of his control, and may prevent that.

I think he's considering the idea of having you meet the new baby, especially because you share the same birthday and all, but he hasn't made up his mind completely on that one, yet. He might feel too pressured if the children are coming soon after he returns, so he may not be able to squeeze you in before their arrival. It all depends on if he feels 'accomplished' when he leaves Washington, and comes back to the Island without too much on his mind.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
He wanted me to meet his daughter a few months back, but I didn't feel comfortable, didn't want to freak her out or anything. He had always been clear that it might bother her, but then he insisited that I meet her..shes 22..I THINK he has mentioned me to one or both kids, is he considering a hey stop by..see the baby and oh by the way this is my son..? That maybe he might not have to squeeze me in..get what i mean? (believe it or not while i'm playing what if's i am coming up with my final chapter..a new one, It is the reason i've been stalled...it's all so clear now.. i'm such a multitasker! I love that you majored in linguistics..Chris and I play a mean game of scrabble..my fave! I would never play with you!
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Yes, I was thinking along the same lines.....if he is considering a 'stop by', you will get to see each other, you'll meet the baby and his son (and/or daughter if she's there). It would be very 'casual' and the main purpose would be to meet his new grandson! That's a great plan, I hope HE thinks of it! : )

I'm so glad you now have a direction for your final chapter! You ARE a multitasker....but then again, a lot of your life experience is what's going into your book, right? I'm also a multitasker; we women/moms have to be!

Words/language are my 'thing'! lol Yes, I love scrabble, too! lol

Well, it's time for me to say goodnight for now (it's after 3 AM), so if you reply, I'll get back to you tomorrow.....

Best regards,
Cher
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Yes, I was thinking along the same lines.....if he is considering a 'stop by', you will get to see each other, you'll meet the baby and his son (and/or daughter if she's there). It would be very 'casual' and the main purpose would be to meet his new grandson! That's a great plan, I hope HE thinks of it! : )

I'm so glad you now have a direction for your final chapter! You ARE a multitasker....but then again, a lot of your life experience is what's going into your book, right? I'm also a multitasker; we women/moms have to be!

Words/language are my 'thing'! lol Yes, I love scrabble, too! lol

Well, it's time for me to say goodnight for now (it's after 3 AM), so if you reply, I'll get back to you tomorrow.....

Best regards,
Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18715
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 124 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Good morning for me and afternoon for you!

Ok back to me..Is Chris hoping I don't become offended since he's not emailing me as usual? I knew something was up when he postponed lunch but he included the words.."all is well" (i think in an effort to convey the message that he was still indeed in this). Is he missing me since there's been little communication, does that surprise him? Is it hitting him that maybe he's not such a confirmed bachelor after all? Has he had any moments while he's been gone like when he's about to fall asleep where he mulls over our amazing journey? He knows im intuitive does he wonder if i'm "on to him"? lol.. Or am I a fraud and don't have a clue!!
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Good morning! : )

Thanks very much for your accept and most generous bonus; also, your positive feedback is always greatly appreciated!

Back to you.......I think Chris is hoping you don't take it the wrong way that he is not emailing you as often as he did, but at this particular time, he has a lot on his mind and just doesn't have the time for emailing. When he included "all is well" re: the postponed lunch, yes, I think he meant, all is well 'with us', so don't worry that I had to postpone the lunch; it couldn't be helped.

I'm pretty sure he does think about you when he has 'quiet' moments and his mind is less occupied with work stuff. Thoughts of you 'creep' into his mind when he's relaxed, and although he knows you're intuitive, no, I don't think he thinks you're 'on to him'. He may not be able to get away with not telling you the truth, because THAT, I think he knows you'll 'see through', but that would also be related to your history together, coupled with your intuitive nature.

I hope you'll hear from him soon, so at least you'll be more sure of when he's coming home!

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Well..it's like a catch 22- he can't email me, yet. is he concerned that since he is temporarily ignoring me that I might misinterpret it to mean that he's blowing me off? Is he missing me..does he want to get the trip done..and get home? Is he angry with his ex in that she hasn't made an effort to see the baby?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

I'll start with the last question, first. Yes, I think he is very distressed and angry that his ex has not made an effort to see the baby! There's no way to rationalize her actions.

It IS a catch-22 if he can't email you yet, but he's worried that you might misinterpret it as him not being interested, which is not true. Yes, I mentioned last night that he IS anxious to have the trip over with and get home, but every time he tries to tie up loose ends, something else crops up, which needs his attention and he keeps on having to postpone his return home. He's annoyed at this, and wants to get home already. He does miss you and wants to email you, but feels he can't do that til he's home.

I hope you're having a good day, so far! : )

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Humor me. Does it surprise him that he IS missing me and actually parsing this all out? Does he have a guy friend that he confides in? I have picked someone up before..kinda saw him remotely..he knows the whole deal and has been frustrated with him,chris' daughter also knows a little i think.
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

It doesn't surprise him, but he wants not to miss you and not to think about you, as his thoughts of you are distracting him from his work. If you are picking up on a guy friend that you actually have seen or know about, then yes, I think he is confiding in someone and it would make sense that it is this guy friend with which he's close. If his daughter knows a little about the situation, that may be why she gave you the cold shoulder.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Ive not met his daughter.
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Oh, I see what I was thinking of, when you said "He wanted me to meet his daughter a few months back, but I didn't feel comfortable, didn't want to freak her out or anything. He had always been clear that it might bother her, but then he insisited that I meet her..shes 22..I THINK he has mentioned me to one or both kids...."

When he insisted that you meet her, I thought you had.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Right..except I never actually met her, it never materialized.

I'm surprised that you said Chris wasn't shocked that he was in this at all..he's always been such a confirmed bachelor..is that changing?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Yes, I realize you never actually met her, but what you had said earlier, was in the back of my mind when I answered, thinking you had met her. : )

Although Chris has always been a confirmed bachelor, OR he's trying to 'appear' that way, otherwise his 'reputation' will be destroyed, he was surprised to find himself in this situation at first, but it's sort of 'growing' on him and he's starting to enjoy it, slowly but surely.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Is there anything he's hoping to get out of the way so to speak when we finally have time to talk? Or is it just a look see is he thinking i might come by his house after lunch..maybe see his horse? What does he have in mind..the obvious by chance? (not that i'll go there)
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Well, now that you mentioned he has a horse, I can't get the picture of you two riding the horse on a beautiful beach at sunset! How romantic! : ) No, I don't think that's going to happen, but it just sparked a beautiful vision in my mind's eye. A man will always have the 'obvious' in mind, and I'm glad you're planning in advance not to go there. I think he wants to wait and see how lunch goes and then, if the mood strikes him, he might ask you back to his place. The horse is a great 'excuse', if you feel things are going well, and you'd like to 'hint' at an invitation back to his place.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I can't help but think that he might be heading home the end of this week, last week was week one..we're in week two..because he's just being too uncharacteristically silent. Unlike him. Also the thought has occurred to me that he is simply just blowing me off, wanted to get out of the lunch, has no intention of seeing me.

On another note..I saw greg today for about 5 minutes. It's pretty much over, he looked bad. I feel terrible, but I don't think I did anything wrong. Except be honest. I treated him well, he can't dispute that. I hope that he understands that he came on too strong and I felt smothered. What is going thru his mind. Will he be o.k.?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

I had in the back of my mind that he was going to be away for three weeks; I don't know why--it may have been something you mentioned in the past. Your thought that he may be blowing you off is coming into your mind because you haven't heard from him. You said he usually doesn't email when he's away, so let's wait and see what happens when he comes home.

Oh, poor Greg.....I'm sorry he looked bad. He'll be okay, but it will take a while. The 'wound' is still fresh. You didn't do anything wrong and if you were honest, he should be grateful. Some women give the 'it's not you, it's me' speech just to make the man feel better, and while it may help to spare their feelings, they will keep going back and doing the same 'wrong' things in future relationships, so I feel it's always best to be honest. You are not the type of woman who can tolerate being smothered (I'm not, either, so I know exactly where you're coming from). You did him a favor by telling him honestly, why you can't continue with him and I think it will take him a while to get over you, but he'll move on eventually and start feeling/looking better. Rejection is always hard on both men and women, and we know that all too well.

Just curious; did you bump into him or seek him out, today?

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Here in our small island town, you see everyone at least once a day if not more. I had decided that if I saw his truck I wouldn't avoid him so that I could talk to him. He was in the grocery store picking up lunch.S it was a combination of bumping into him and seeking him out. I had just gone thru an emotional time with discovering that my son was diabetic, his collapse in the airport in New Zealand, dealing with my ex etc., It was all so intense I didn't want to put it all on Greg, I was of course devastated by the diagnosis (I use to be a nurse so I know the ramifications of the disease.) Anyway, Greg wasn't too interested in my son, he wanted to bypass that subject and get to the meat of "us." He seemed to want all of me, without interruptions from my life. I told him that I felt smothered at times and that with the latest stuff going on I realized there wasn't enough of me at the moment. I'm relieved to not be involved with him, he's too jealous and posessive. (having trouble typing for some reason.) Does he realize that he came on too strong, too fast?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

No, I don't think he realized he came on too strong, too fast. This is how he is. Not that he's selfish; like you said, he wanted to get to the meat of "us". When you're a mom and have a career and have been married before, plus a zillion other things going on in your life, simultaneously, there's usually NOT enough of you to spare, without interruptions from your life. He was like a horse wearing blinders......he only wanted to see YOU and have you to himself, with all your attention focused on the two of you. Some men cannot focus on anything but the relationship and can't handle things that come up in the woman's life. It's not his fault; it's inborn, it's who he is. That's why he didn't realize he came on too strong, too fast. The jealousy and possessiveness usually come along with this type of personality. I've been there, done that. That's why I think you did the best thing in letting him know you couldn't continue the way things were.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Well, thanks for being patient with me. One more question about Chris and then i'll let you off the hook if you're still awake. Are there things that Chris wants to discuss with me when we have lunch? Is he ok with being seen in public on our small island? Will he let me know that he wants to continue to see me?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again, and you're most welcome!

I'm sensing that he will want to discuss being seen in public with you, just because the island is so small and everyone sees everyone, as you mentioned, at least once a day, and everyone knows a lot about everyone else. It's not that he'd be ashamed to be seen with you, but he doesn't want tongues to start wagging. I think he will let you know that he wants to continue to see you, but he might not just come out and say it; he might 'imply' it.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Is he thinking of suggesting that I come to lunch at his place? That's pretty traditional for us, and we do like to cook together.
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

That would be a great way to spend time together, cook, enjoy lunch and talk, away from the prying eyes of the neighbors, which you would have upon you, if you were to go to a restaurant! He might be thinking of suggesting this, but if he doesn't, you can bring it up, and make the suggestion only because you'd like for both of you to escape the 'gossip mill', which is the whole island! : )

Best regards,
Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18715
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 124 other General Specialists are ready to help you

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