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Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18977
Experience:  M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
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is it like hes laying the groundwork Im not sure why the quandry

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is it like he's laying the groundwork? Im not sure why the"quandry" it's not like we ever were in what you would call a traditional relationship. Is it since the birth of his grandson (that I predicted would be born on my birthday..and was!) I feel he wants me to meet the little guy. And that the birthday, being mine is significant!
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again, and thanks for requesting me.

I just received this question, and will send you an answer as soon as I respond to your other one.

You patience is appreciated! Smile

Regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hey..you're the one being patient
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

LOL Patience is a virtue, and we both possess it! Laughing

I agree that the birth of his grandson on your birthday, is significant. It not only means that you both share the same astrological sign (Gemini) and therefore many similar traits, but it can also be significant to HIM and the relationship you share. The simple fact that your relationship was not traditional is what makes it even more interesting. You are very perceptive; you don't easily get the wool pulled over your eyes, and when you predicted/sensed his grandson would be born on your birthday--lo and behold--it happened! Now, when you feel that he wants you to meet his grandson, this may be happening soon. I think becoming a grandfather at the end of May, has changed him in a way, and made him more 'reflective', encouraging him to think more about what's important in his life; I believe that's why he's been thinking about you more often, recently.

Please let me know if you have any additional questions or concerns by clicking 'Reply'.

I hope you have found this answer helpful; if so, please click 'ACCEPT', as this is the only way I am compensated for helping you (although you have made a deposit, no payment is released to the Expert until you click 'Accept'). Your Positive Feedback is also always greatly appreciated, and Bonuses are welcomed.
***If you wish to request me in the future, please type 'FOR CHER' at the beginning of your question***

Thank you for the opportunity to be of help!

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Did it blow him away when i predicted the birthday and oh the sex btw. He knows i'm intuitive but I think that really drove it home. I can't decide if h'e looking forward to seeing me. Is he nervous, excited or does he want to run the other way. He is also a geminii. i've sent him excerpts from my book, not sure what he thinks about my writing, some of it's pretty raw. Not sure what he feels about my less than perfect childhood.
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Oh, I certainly think it did blow him away when you predicted the birthday AND the sex! Although he may know you're intuitive, you're so right--this completely drove it home and he will be more respectful of your intuition in the future!

By sending him excerpts from your book, you're opening yourself up to him and I think he likes that. Nobody's childhood is perfect, and those that think so, are deluding themselves and purposely pushing the not so memorable memories from their minds. If he has not yet given you any indication of what he thought of the parts of the book you have shared with him, next time you're together in person, hint at the fact that it would be nice to hear his opinions and suggestions. If he seems reluctant to discuss it, drop it and don't push. He may feel awkward discussing it with you, but in time, it may become easier. Don't send him any more excerpts for the time being and it would be interesting to see if he asks you 'how is the book coming?'

I think he's all of the above, re: seeing you: nervous, excited and at times, wants to run the other way! Laughing So much is going on in his life now, that he's going to have to put something on the back burner to make room/time to see you. Your patience in this, is crucial.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
What do you think is going on? Is he getting out of a relationship? Is it his ex-wife..work? Does he even want to put something on the back burner? We also have a telepathic connection..which is interesting..I can feel if he is thinking of me..npt sure if he has figured that out yet.. very twinflameish
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Oh, extremely twinflame-ish! If he hasn't figured it out yet, he most likely will; he might start to sense when you're thinking about HIM! Your telepathic connection is great and is an advantage for you!

I think the birth of his grandson drew him closer to his family, not that they weren't close before, but he's been going there to visit, etc., and that's taking time away from work, which in turn, could be causing stress. He's also seeing his ex-wife more, if she lives where the baby lives and/or comes to visit often, but no, I don't think any thoughts of reconciliation with his ex, have crossed his mind. I thought you had mentioned that he was in a relationship recently, but if my recollection is incorrect, when was the last time you knew he was involved with someone, and did you know her?

I'm curious, what kind of work do each of you do on the island?

Regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
His ex has not seen the baby yet!!! Lots of issues there. No i meant is there an errant girlfriend around or what ever. He created a "spacer" between us when I sensed he could be falling for me. He told me he met someone..which in the past meant..spacer. in ohter words..he knew I needed time to be divorced. He's very smart. He was right. But I always knew that I could enter into something with him whenever...not anyone else. Twin Flame. I knew it, he did not. now, i think i've done my time, proved i'm an island girl and am meant to be here. I am writing my book...(having block big time right now) I receive alimony, but would love to have my book published so i can let my ex off the hook. Chris has lived on Kaua'i since he was 2..he has a large family here, we live on opposite sides, me on the north he on the south. He has vacation rentals here and other places (which is why he may be in washington) also is an appraiser and a bit of an entrepreneur. So as far as an involvement i'll never know the whole story or if it was just something he told me to create time and distance. We have paralleled for 2 years..i'm hoping the time is getting closer for our paths to finally intersect.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
ok one last one then i will sign off...and pay you..lol

Is Chris amazed that I have hung in for this long? What does that tell him..doe he think it's weird? Is he glad that I have?

Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

I had just written this answer, so I will send it and then reply to your last question.

Oh boy, I can't believe the 'grandmother' has not yet seen the baby! I'm sure there are lots of issues there! Because he created a 'spacer' when you sensed (and he did too) that he could be falling for you, there is a possibility that there could be an errant girlfriend around, but no one serious, at this particular time. Think about it.....a man has 'needs', so I doubt he wasn't with 'someone' in these two years. Then again, it may just have been a story he made up to help keep the space, with time and distance, which he knew you needed, and if so, he's a prince of a guy! He knew you needed time to get yourself back together after the divorce, and he didn't want to be 'rebound guy'. However, since you've definitely been paralleling for the past two years, the time IS approaching for your paths to intersect, so when he returns from Washington, you'll have to see about that lunch and take it from there.

You're a very nice ex-wife if you are anxious to publish your book and let your ex off the hook! You don't hear many ex-wives make statements like that! : ) Do you have enough written to send to agents or publishers, yet?

If you live on opposite sides of the Island, how did you and Chris meet?

Regards,
Cher
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

I believe Chris IS amazed that you have hung in for this long; many women wouldn't, and he knows that. He doesn't think it's weird, but he admires you for it. Remember how your 'stick-to-it-tive-ness' keeps coming up? He's glad that you have hung in there, so the two of you can have a chance; you both deserve it.

If you weren't interested and weren't interested in something solid, 'real', you would have gone down a different path, long ago. The fact that you have persisted on this path and been consistent about it, has to be intriguing to him, and yes, he's happy that you have hung in there.

Best regards,
Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18977
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 51 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Sorry, the website is freaking me out...I do think I have enough to send to publishers.. There are some holes yet, but the basic framework is there..My son was in australia going to school..was here on the island before he left. Long story short his friend died..he was coming back to the mainland through new zealand and collapsed..Type 1 diabetes..quite a scare this last week. Chris knows about it..not sure if he was worried for me or not.. My book encapsulates the strength of the women in my life my mother, grandmother and me. My book was stalled and now I know why..I have yet another chapter that will include what happened to my son.. My book is about manifesting through adversity and gratitude. The strength of the motherly bond and retaining family memories that will go on no matter what the circustances. Phew! Sick of me yet?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again, and thanks very much for your accept and reply.

Nope, not sick of you yet! lol You are a very interesting and insightful person!

I'm so very sorry to hear this sad news about your son's friend. What an awful, unexpected thing to happen, especially to a young person. If Chris knows about it, I'm sure he was worried for you and for your son; I'm sure you'll discuss it when he returns to the Island.

The subject of your book is very intriguing, and one that many people will be interested to read about. Publishers like to see the first chapter or first few chapters which indicate the 'meat' of the story, so make sure you flesh this out at the beginning as a 'hook'. If the basic framework is there, and you need to fill in some holes, continue to work, especially in this big block of time you have available now, and concentrate on filling in those missing pieces. The strength of the motherly bond and being the caretaker in charge of passing on the family memories, is wonderful! I also love the 'manifesting through adversity and gratitude' with the three generations of women in your family! I think it will do very well!

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Aloha again!
Thank you for the insightful advice. I was wondering if Chris has come to any new conclusions in the last day or so. Did he schedule this trip to create distance again? He has always fled the island when he knew I was days from moving here etc., I moved here and he was gone for like 3 weeks. So this feels similar. Is he getting closer to wanting to initiate contact i.e., arrange our lunch date? And is he coming back soon..? Days, a week? Is he at all misssing me cuz geez..it's not like he's racing to see me..Does he wait for me to email him?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Aloha!

I just received your reply, so please give me a few minutes to read it and respond. Didn't want you to think I forgot about you or wasn't online...... : )

Regards,
Cher
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Aloha again, and you're most welcome!

I hope your Sunday is going well! Smile

I don't feel that Chris scheduled this trip to avoid you or to create distance, again. I feel he really needed to take care of some business in Washington, and that's why he travelled there. Although he's been busy, he has been thinking about you, especially when you email, but as I mentioned, don't inundate him with too many emails so he becomes annoyed, but still let him know you are interested in how he is doing. It would be hard to say for sure when he will return, because I feel that he planned to return earlier, but something came up (in business) which forced him to stay a little longer. He may be planning on coming back within the next week or two, but if he is able, it might be sooner. You can let him know you're looking forward to his return, but let HIM initiate talk about the plans for your lunch date, so he doesn't feel pressured. Although he does want to get together for lunch, he doesn't want to feel 'pressed'. He has to do things in his own time, but I think you are already aware of that! : )

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I havent emailed at all..not planning to. Also, about 2 weeks ago he told me he was going to wahington but was actually in the islands..i have an email tracker..so this time he couldnt tell me that AGAIN so he hasnt even said that he is gone. For all I know he is still on our island..i don't get why he so secretive. His emails reflect that he is still here but .. he's not. I'm not planning to say a word about lunch..it is up to him. I he trying to lay the groundwork in getting things taken care of so he is able to start seeing me? I feel he wants to accomplish something big at work that will eventually benefit both of us..he is very methodical to his approach to life. I know he knows what I will require in terms of time, nurturing etc., he knows what i went through and what he wants to give me..(not financial) is all this on his mind?
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

I thought you said you HAD been emailing him. Is HE only emailing YOU? Yes, I remember when you said you could tell by your tracker, that he was in Washington. Well, that's all pretty mysterious. His secrecy is not easy to understand, unless his current trip 'away' IS for the purpose of laying the groundwork and taking care of necessary things so he is able to start seeing you with a 'free' mind and a big accomplishment at work, which you feel might be the situation.

The lunch date is definitely up to him, and yes, we agreed that you would leave that ball in his court and allow him to broach the subject, first. Since he is aware of what you went through and his approach to life is a methodical one, everything he's doing now, may be leading to his preparation of what you will require of him and he wants to make sure everything is 'set', properly. All this may be on his mind, but again, I do believe he has other things on his mind, business-wise, also, so he's not able to give you that much attention right now. When he returns to the island, I think more of his intentions will be revealed.

Best regards,
Cher
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
yes we email back and forth but its been a number of days and i dont email unless i get one from him. i agree it feels like business, just wanted to double check based on past experience with him And yes, I do realize it not just all about me.. i guess all of this for me is..am i in this in that is he in this too..or is it just me. If he wasn't into this i would back off.. i just really can't tell.
Expert:  Cher replied 3 years ago.
Hi again,

Right, that's what I thought I understood, that you don't email unless you receive one from him, and that's the best way to continue.

You're going to need more signs from him that he really is in this too; he definitely cares about you--we established that--but I feel that you're going to have to wait for his return and/or a 'snippet' of something (in an email?) from which you can glean more information, to see which direction he's headed. He's not an easy person to 'read', as you already know, and that's what's causing all the doubt.

Best regards,
Cher
Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 18977
Experience: M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist
Cher and 51 other General Specialists are ready to help you

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Cher
Cher
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M.A., B.A., Author, Senior Informational Specialist