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Cher, Educator-40+ yrs
Category: General
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Experience:  M.A., B.A., Author, Information & Research Specialist
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My roomate and i have been together for 25 yrs......his family

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My roomate and i have been together for 25 yrs......his family and myself have been celebrating Christmas at a restaurant for the last 25yrs.....about 8yrs ago we took our handyman in because he was having a problem with drugs...he is 60yrs old....the last couple of years he has joined us for Christmas...this year out of the kindness of our hearts we invited his 83 yr old mother and her new boy friend....and ask them to pay their own way....well her sons old girlfriend from 40 yrs ago call her because she has cancer and her husband left her....oh by the way this gal "Dumped" him 40yrs ago.....well the mother invited her to come for dinner..the women declined....and i told the mother Guess don't invite guess......she said because it was a restaurant did not matter.....who is right!!

I think you are right, that guests should not invite other guests, however, at least, the mother should have asked you before extending the invitation. I can understand her thinking, that because it was a restaurant and you had asked that she and her new boyfriend pay their own way, maybe she thought it was okay, because she would pay for the other woman or the woman would pay for herself. But, under the circumstances, I do not think it was appropriate for the mother to ask her son's former girlfriend, who dumped him 40 years ago, to join you, as it is a traditional celebration with you and your roommate, and your roommate's family.

It was VERY kind of you to take in your handyman, when he was having problems, and also very kind of you to include his mother and her boyfriend, this year, in your Christmas celebration. The former girlfriend of so many years ago, really doesn't belong at your Christmas dinner, although it's a shame she's sick and her husband left her, and that's why the mother felt badly and blurted out the invitation. I'm sure she has other friends to spend the holiday with.

You did/said nothing wrong.

I hope this helped you, and if so, please remember to click 'Accept'. Thanks very much, and I wish you a very Happy Holiday season and healthy New Year!


Edited by Cher on 12/25/2009 at 3:50 AM EST
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