hey how are you .
1- yes you are correct what you read on the TCM & PCM software update,first call dealer ,give him vin # ,& they can check if your car been at ford dealer & update been done to it or not
2- in this case the best way is to take to dealer & update using there newest version software,this way you don't have to remove the modules & send it in to a company that rebuilds them ,the cost should be $150 to $175 at dealer ,which i believe around the same when you send yours in .
3- sure you can do that too, in case you live far from dealer and you don't want drive then you have to tow it ,so really either way ,works.depends on situation
4- make sure trans fluid is good & no metal shaving ,service it first before buying parts
Please let me know if you need anything else on it, just reply back and we will continue
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ASE Certified Technician