I live in New York State.My son is 20 years old. He will be 21 in April. He has lived with his mother
who is the custodial parent
since 2004. I have learned recently that his mother is kicking him out of her house. There is no way he can come and live with us as our home is overcrowded as it is. He has found temporary refuge with his grandparents (by temporary, I mean until he can figure out another alternative... so there are no time limits attached).I pay $892.00 in child support
bi-weekly for him and his younger brother, who just turned 19. This amounts to 25% of my Gross pay, less FICA, paid in 26 bi-weekly installments and adjusted annually based on my W2 information.The situation with his mother is ugly and while I certainly can't predict the future, I think it's highly unlikely he will move back in with her before April. She has said repeatedly that when the child support ends, he is out. As it stands now, he will be out of her house and she will no longer pay to support him at all, but I still believe I am obligated to pay for his child support. I want to pay him directly or make sure the money goes to his grandparents to distribute as needed. In researching this, I am finding some conflicting information, but if there's a consensus, it appears to be that I owe his mother child support even if she is not supporting him any longer, unless I petition the court to change (or create) the child support agreement.I have to find our divorce
decree.. we had a non-contested divorce in 2004 and the paperwork was carried out by a divorce mediator. Since I had never been divorced before, I did what he told me to do and honestly I don't remember if a particular child support agreement was entered into the court proceedings or if it was all just part of one long divorce decree.My question: How can I safely stop paying his mother and continue to make sure he gets support (either directly or indirectly through his grandparents) for the short time until he's 21? Would it be easier to try and change any support agreement (which she very well might contest as she really, really wants the money), or have him become emancipated? If he tries to become emancipated, then any future cash payment I might make to him for support (or as a gift if necessary) would be left out unless I'm specifically required to report it.I don't want to do anything wrong, or try to shirk my support duties, I just want to make sure HE is taken care of rather than his mother. Child support is supposed to be all about the child after all .. as it stands right now, in this case, it's anything but.