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Ask Asad Rahman Your Own Question
Asad Rahman
Asad Rahman, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1718
Experience:  Practicing Attorney with 10 years experience
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I live in New York State. My son is 20 years old. He will be

Customer Question

I live in New York State.My son is 20 years old. He will be 21 in April. He has lived with his mother who is the custodial parent since 2004. I have learned recently that his mother is kicking him out of her house. There is no way he can come and live with us as our home is overcrowded as it is. He has found temporary refuge with his grandparents (by temporary, I mean until he can figure out another alternative... so there are no time limits attached).I pay $892.00 in child support bi-weekly for him and his younger brother, who just turned 19. This amounts to 25% of my Gross pay, less FICA, paid in 26 bi-weekly installments and adjusted annually based on my W2 information.The situation with his mother is ugly and while I certainly can't predict the future, I think it's highly unlikely he will move back in with her before April. She has said repeatedly that when the child support ends, he is out. As it stands now, he will be out of her house and she will no longer pay to support him at all, but I still believe I am obligated to pay for his child support. I want to pay him directly or make sure the money goes to his grandparents to distribute as needed. In researching this, I am finding some conflicting information, but if there's a consensus, it appears to be that I owe his mother child support even if she is not supporting him any longer, unless I petition the court to change (or create) the child support agreement.I have to find our divorce decree.. we had a non-contested divorce in 2004 and the paperwork was carried out by a divorce mediator. Since I had never been divorced before, I did what he told me to do and honestly I don't remember if a particular child support agreement was entered into the court proceedings or if it was all just part of one long divorce decree.My question: How can I safely stop paying his mother and continue to make sure he gets support (either directly or indirectly through his grandparents) for the short time until he's 21? Would it be easier to try and change any support agreement (which she very well might contest as she really, really wants the money), or have him become emancipated? If he tries to become emancipated, then any future cash payment I might make to him for support (or as a gift if necessary) would be left out unless I'm specifically required to report it.I don't want to do anything wrong, or try to shirk my support duties, I just want to make sure HE is taken care of rather than his mother. Child support is supposed to be all about the child after all .. as it stands right now, in this case, it's anything but.
Submitted: 19 days ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Asad Rahman replied 19 days ago.

Yes, you need to modify the decree as soon as possible. The mother could not fight it if the child is no longer residing with her. This would actually result in both you and her paying the grandparents child support and perhaps reducing your obligation.

Customer: replied 18 days ago.
To make sure I understand you... you are saying to have the divorce decree or support agreement amended, correct? If that's so can it be amended to pay him directly or would it have to be to his grandparents? I ask because he is staying there temporarily (hopefully VERY temporarily as they don't have much more space than I do) -- no matter what this is a short term situation because he will be 21 in April. That's why I suggested simply having him emancipate himself five months earlier and I can just pay him directly -- whether it's "support" or a "gift" or whatever at that point I would not be required to pay support anymore and would be doing so voluntarily rather than under the rule of the divorce decree..
Expert:  Asad Rahman replied 18 days ago.

That is an option also. However I suspect judge would prefer he stay with the grandparents

Customer: replied 18 days ago.
I would prefer that too. He has Lupus along with a variety of other illnesses a 20 year old shouldn't have to contend with. I just want to get him in a stable place and start working on getting services he needs once he turns 21.. he can't work because the flare-ups have him hospitalized too often to be able to keep a job anywhere. This seems like much ado about little since he'll be 21 in less than five months.. but it's a critical five months.Just a quick follow up.. are there standard forms to petition family court? Are they generally online? This is new territory for me so I don't even know where to start. A couple sentences to put me in the right direction to get this started would be much appreciated, then I'll let you go to deal with the next ugly case :)
Expert:  Asad Rahman replied 18 days ago.

Yes you should be able to find the motion to modify or change custody online or at the courthouse. Based on what you're telling me about his condition it is pretty like the judge would want him with the grandparents

Expert:  Asad Rahman replied 17 days ago.

If you have no further questions then a positive rating would be greatly appreciated.

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