Thank you for your question. That's great that your daughter wants to go to college. She will get to go but now we have to fix the child support.
If you have a child support order, and the order is supposed to still continue, and the child no longer lives with the mother, then you do need to go to court to get the order changed. You can get the order modified (changed) or vacated (removed completely). Once you do this, you will no longer be required to pay child support. It sounds like you need to get the order vacated.
If you're dealing with child support enforcement or child support collection, they can't do anything until you show them an order from the court that says there is no longer an order. In some states child support collection is the one that makes the order, but if you're in my state of NY or another state that has similar laws, the order is done in the court and it's also brought back to court if the child leaves the other parent's house before the child support is finished. That sounds like what is happening here. If you go to court to vacate the order, show the court the school transcripts, and show where the daughter is living -- you can have any bills in her name brought with you to show the new address and you can testify that that's her grandparents' address. You will need to show that the mom doesn't live there either. The car is great but that doesn't count towards child support.
If you get your child support order vacated, you won't have to send her mother any more money. If you need an attorney to do this for you, let me know what city you're located in or near and I can find family lawyers for you.
Best of luck with this! You'll be able to get out of this. You just have to show proof. If you have an attorney, your attorney can do this for you and if you are far from the mom's state, hopefully you won't need to make any or many appearances and with a lawyer can do some of this over the phone.
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