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Brandon M.
Brandon M., Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 12475
Experience:  Attorney experienced in all aspects of family law
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I am a 17-1/2 year old minor in Illinois. I live with my mom

Customer Question

i am a 17-1/2 year old minor in Illinois. I live with my mom and she is my primary custodian. She has a civil order of protection against my father who is a domestic abuser. I am not tied to that order as the judge said it is entirely up to me whether or not i want to have any contact with my father. I do not! I hate him he abused me and my mother for 17 years. When I officially turn 18 my mother and I are moving to another state. Her divorce is almost over. I cant take it anymore here in Illinois, I have nightmares every day and I am an emotional wreck with the thought of my dad hurting her. What would happen if I move to the state she is planning on moving to and live with family members before I turn 18? She is ok with it but she said she can't freely give me her permission. I will be safe and in good hands to finish school and try and rid myself of the bondage he has kept us under.
JA: Soon. I'm trying to find the right Lawyer for you right now. As soon as they are ready, I will let you know. Because family law varies from place to place, can you tell me what state this is in?
Customer: Illinois
JA: Has anything been filed or reported?
Customer: Like what? She has a civil order of protection for herself only. Judge said I do not have to have contact with him if I choose not to. I never talk to him and he tries to text me. A month ago he said I was dead to him.
JA: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: I just need to get out for my health and I do not want to be forced to return.
Submitted: 1 month ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 1 month ago.

Hi, my name is Brandon. I'm so sorry that you and your mother are going through this. You said that your mother is primary custodian. What sort of custody/visitation does your father have? You mentioned that the judge said that it's up to you whether you have contact with your father -- does he have any custody/visitation rights whatsoever?

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
He has rights ONLY if I wish to see or talk to him. The judge specifically said I in no way have to see him or interact with him. It was also written by the guardian ad litum? forgive my spelling that my mother has the final say in all decisions should they not come to an agreement between the two of them.
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 1 month ago.

Do we know why your mother thinks that she can't allow you to move out of state?

Expert:  Brandon M. replied 1 month ago.

It looks like there was a service failure for the phone call attempt. The charges sometimes look suspicious to credit card companies. If you get the issue resolved, let me know in here so that the request doesn't open in a new question.

Expert:  Brandon M. replied 1 month ago.

Naturally, I'm glad to continue speaking through typing if you prefer. Just let me know your preference. Thank you!

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
There is nothing in writing that states she can not move out of state only that they agreed that I should remian in school in Illinois
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
exactly. It does state that she should consult with him and provide him with any changes in writing 60 days prior when it is acceptable. However, she has a civil restraining order against him that came after the parenting plan. It is also clearly stated that she has the final say. Im looking at the pperwork now.
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
It says that my dad is allowed reasonable parenting time so long as I (ME) am in agreement with it because of my age. Judge said I can make that decision on my own. My mom is scared if she allows me to move he will try and take her to jail or something. He is an evil man and he scares me to death. I have had no contact with him since we left.
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 1 month ago.

Based on what you've said, it sounds like the problem isn't that your mom doesn't have the authority to send you. It seems that she's just scared of your dad's disapproval. Would your mom agree to go to the court to ask for clarification on this matter? Or is she scared to go to court too?

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
She does not want to go to court. She is terrified of him. She has terrible battle wounds in pictures that I myself wittnessed over the past 20 years. He always found a way to get her to not press charges with fear and intimidation. She was finally able to seek the civil order of protection. Additionally he does not send her any child support. Her attorney is working on it. I can't take it here anymore. I will be 18 in April.
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 1 month ago.

Ok, and how would your mom react if you just left?

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
She is ok so long as I go to a family member
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Stay in school etc. She would come too but is scared util I turn 18.
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
I do not want her to saty behind either but it is her call. Her divorce attorney advised her to keep me here until i'm 18. I can't do it I just can't.
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 1 month ago.

Ok, and you're not personally under a court's order to stay in Illinois, correct?

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
no
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
I just want to know if he tries to pull anything to get me back to the state through the courts i probably will be 18 already im hoping
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
But i am under no court orders. I am a model kid never in trouble good grades etc
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 1 month ago.

I'm actually wondering how he would even know that you left the state. Since you have the right to refuse seeing him, it seems to me that it's possible that you could leave and you would be 18 before he ever found out about it.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
My dad texted me a pic of him holding a rifle in his hands. Who does that?
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 1 month ago.

That said, I also question why you couldn't just go to visit family out of state for a few months.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
What about school?
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 1 month ago.

I cant' see the context of the picture, but when a relationship is hostile, the underlying message is usually clear.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
School? I would have transportation, and a safe environment
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Is it possible that i can say Im going to visit for a few moths with her approval?
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
After all I turn 18 in April
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 1 month ago.

A charter or Illinois homeschool might be possible, even if you're not physically in the state temporarily.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
in your professional opinion I should be able to do this ? Can she enroll me in school where they live?
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
I was thinking January as that would be the turn of the semester.
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 1 month ago.

The biggest red flag for me is that her attorney is saying to keep you in state. We're talking about a court order that I haven't seen, so I'm concerned about what the attorney (who is actively involved in the case) is seeing that I'm not. What really needs to happen is, if your mother is worried about your father's objection, your mother needs to go to court and file a motion for clarification and, in the alternative, a motion for modification of the custody order. If she's simply unwilling to do that, I can't see any reason why you couldn't enroll in a homeschool or charter school program and then physically visit family out of state on a temporary basis (assuming that you stick to your curriculum), but I have to emphasis that because the nuances of every situation are different, this information should not be relied upon as complete or advice unless it is first examined by an attorney who has had a chance to review your mother's case.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Home school as in online school maybe?
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
I have my mothers parernting agreement can i send it to yo
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 1 month ago.

Homeschooling as in online school, yes. How long is the parenting agreement? Some are 2 pages, some are 200 pages.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
10 pages
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 1 month ago.
That's probably beyond the scope of our service. But frankly, it really doesnt change my answers either way because your mom's hold up has to do with her personal fears.
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 1 month ago.
Look into enrolling in a homeschool and visiting family out of state, or have your mom look into clarifying/modifying the order. I can't encourage it, but you could also "run away" and have your out of state relatives file for guardianship.