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Lucy, Esq.
Lucy, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 27196
Experience:  Attorney with experience in family law.
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I'm going through divorce, child custody case. there was a

Customer Question

I'm going through divorce, child custody case.
JA: Because family law varies from place to place, can you tell me what state this is in?
Customer: there was a protective order that got dropped after the arrest as my husband tried to suffocate me
JA: Has anything been filed or reported?
Customer: ct yes I have a lawyer
JA: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: we are coming to an agreement, however, I have been physically, emotionally, economically abused but all I have is one voicemail of my husband cursing and I have one police report but that was disorderly conduct (lowest level) there is no "two" its just me.
Submitted: 2 days ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 2 days ago.


I'm Lucy, and I'd be happy to answer your questions today. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

What questions do you have about divorce and child custody?

Customer: replied 2 days ago.
HiI filed for TRO after the criminal protective order got dropped. Half the hearing took place, the other half resulted in my and my ex husband 's attorney doing a negotiation. The agreement says that I take away the TRO, and also that he should take away ex-parte (he filed false claims that I am a sexually abusive mother). The agreement is time sensitive, currently, I am the custodial parent and he is the non custodial parent. I had taken my daughter to Urgent Care in MA when I discovered a rash in her diaper area even though she is potty trained after she returned from her father's house, I expressed to the urgent care doctor that my husband and I are going through a divorce and I was involved in a relationship where I went through a lot of domestic violence, I told the doctor that my daughter was in the same set of undergarments that probably caused a rash but I'm not sure. The doctor asked my 3 year old daughter if she was touched and I thought of worst possible outcomes too and I asked her too. When they put me on the phone with the social worker, I told her that I was concerned about her hygiene and carelessness. And that's what I told the pediatrician as well. The Urgent Care Report stated that "genital contact can't be ruled out" which I saw after I came home, my husband got furious and filed a motion saing I'm a sexually abusive mom. However, I never even once stated verbally once that my husband has done something to her inappropriately but I was worried and concerned and in my head I was speculating what mustve happened. , as I am currently residing at my sister's house in MA whereas my daughter's home state is CT and the divorce is filed in CT by him. Now, the agreement has a clause that "the mother engaged in behavior that directly or indirectly resulted in false claims of sexual abuse by the father", I am not sure if that's the right thing to put, my husband is not agreeing not to put that.. if it is an agreement.
- If I do agreement, how can I be sure I am getting a favorable outcome as oppose to going to the judge
Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 2 days ago.

That sounds awful. I'm sorry to hear that this happened.

The way to ensure a favorable agreement is to refuse to sign anything you do not 100% agree with, or even anything you're not sure you agree with. You may not want to agree that the claims of sexual abuse were "false" unless he actually went to trial and was found not guilty. You could agree that the charges were "unsubstantiated as of DATE" or "not pursued by police as of the date of signing of this agreement." Something like that. The way it's written, it sounds like you either filed charges you knew were false or encouraged someone else to do so, and that's not what happened.

Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 2 days ago.

You also have to think about things you're absolutely, 100% not willing to budge on versus things that might be less important to you. Make a list for your own reference, because that can help you with negotiations.

Customer: replied 2 days ago.
I never filed anything related to this. For me, it was a moment thing, it was a terrible rash that hadn't taken place under my care and since my daughter is potty trained, I was trying to just think what caused it. Yes, I told the doctor that I was in an abusive relationship. He yelled in our daughters ears "shut up" a few times when she was 4 months old. More abuse was directed at me. I was worried for our daughters safety upon seeing the rash and I knew that she returned in the same set of underwear so that was my verbal explanation.
Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 2 days ago.

Technically, taking your daughter to the hospital started the chain of events. That's why they put "indirectly" in the notice - they're not saying you did it on purpose. But if you're not comfortable with the way they're phrasing it, send them a suggested revision. See if there's a way you can word it that you're comfortable with without saying that your husband did nothing wrong.

Customer: replied 2 days ago.
That's Correct! You got that right. So then he filed a motion "ex parte for sole custody" on the basis of falsely accusing me that I'm a sexually abusive mother.
Customer: replied 2 days ago.
We had an inconclusive hearing on that and the pediatrician talked about me in good faith and clarified that the mother never expressed that she could think of the father doing so etching like that and she's okay with visitation
Customer: replied 2 days ago.
Sorry typo: pediatrician said that the mother clearly said father wouldn't do something like that
Customer: replied 2 days ago.
She wants father child relationship to continue
Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 2 days ago.

So then "the mother engaged in behavior that directly or indirectly resulted in false claims of sexual abuse by the father" isn't really accurate. I do think changing the word "false" would help. Or removing the mother entirely - it was the hospital that brought the claims.

Customer: replied 2 days ago.
That was the good thing. Worked out for me. So now my attorney has put down on the agreement that
- both parties acknowledge engaging in behaviors that either directly or indirectly resulted in false claims by others of sexual abuse/inappropriate touching. Neither parent believes that the other parent of their family members did or would inappropriately touch or sexually abuse their child"
Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 2 days ago.

That's much better.

Customer: replied 2 days ago.
Can the above statement hurt me in the future ? And why an I agreeing to false claims when I didn't purse that or clearly affirm that, it was a state of mind thing in my interaction with the doctor and i wanted her to investigate it if she wanted. However, if I had to really claimed that that I would tell her pediatrician that her father has done somethjng like that but I didn't.
Customer: replied 2 days ago.
verbally by saying what I said to the pediatrician, I cleared her doubts and didn't let her assume something wrong about the father
Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 2 days ago.

You're acknowledging that other people brought claims that turned out to be false as a result of something you said or did, but not that you said or did anything with that intended purpose. If you don't know that the claims really are false, again, you could substitute unsubstantiated or a similar word.

Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 2 days ago.

I'm getting a message that there was a problem with your payment. If you still want someone to call you, please contact Customer Service to get that straightened out.

Customer: replied 2 days ago.
now there shouldnt
Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 2 days ago.

It could be a network issue. That happens sometimes, but Customer Service can see more.

Customer: replied 2 days ago.
I just updated the payment info
Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 2 days ago.

Thank you. Then you should be getting a call shortly.

Customer: replied 2 days ago.
I never got a call
Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 17 hours ago.

I asked customer service to contact you. The site only attempts to process payment when the call request is made. Since the payment didn't go through, experts were not allowed to make the call. Updating the payment after the fact doesn't change that. If you haven't heard from them yet, then I apologize. Please contact customer service by phone and someone can fix this for you.

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