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Lucy, Esq.
Lucy, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 27692
Experience:  Attorney with experience in family law.
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I'm going through divorce, child custody case. there was a

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I'm going through divorce, child custody case.
JA: Because family law varies from place to place, can you tell me what state this is in?
Customer: there was a protective order that got dropped after the arrest as my husband tried to suffocate me
JA: Has anything been filed or reported?
Customer: ct yes I have a lawyer
JA: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: we are coming to an agreement, however, I have been physically, emotionally, economically abused but all I have is one voicemail of my husband cursing and I have one police report but that was disorderly conduct (lowest level) there is no "two" its just me.

Hi,

I'm Lucy, and I'd be happy to answer your questions today. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

What questions do you have about divorce and child custody?

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
HiI filed for TRO after the criminal protective order got dropped. Half the hearing took place, the other half resulted in my and my ex husband 's attorney doing a negotiation. The agreement says that I take away the TRO, and also that he should take away ex-parte (he filed false claims that I am a sexually abusive mother). The agreement is time sensitive, currently, I am the custodial parent and he is the non custodial parent. I had taken my daughter to Urgent Care in MA when I discovered a rash in her diaper area even though she is potty trained after she returned from her father's house, I expressed to the urgent care doctor that my husband and I are going through a divorce and I was involved in a relationship where I went through a lot of domestic violence, I told the doctor that my daughter was in the same set of undergarments that probably caused a rash but I'm not sure. The doctor asked my 3 year old daughter if she was touched and I thought of worst possible outcomes too and I asked her too. When they put me on the phone with the social worker, I told her that I was concerned about her hygiene and carelessness. And that's what I told the pediatrician as well. The Urgent Care Report stated that "genital contact can't be ruled out" which I saw after I came home, my husband got furious and filed a motion saing I'm a sexually abusive mom. However, I never even once stated verbally once that my husband has done something to her inappropriately but I was worried and concerned and in my head I was speculating what mustve happened. , as I am currently residing at my sister's house in MA whereas my daughter's home state is CT and the divorce is filed in CT by him. Now, the agreement has a clause that "the mother engaged in behavior that directly or indirectly resulted in false claims of sexual abuse by the father", I am not sure if that's the right thing to put, my husband is not agreeing not to put that.. if it is an agreement.
- If I do agreement, how can I be sure I am getting a favorable outcome as oppose to going to the judge

That sounds awful. I'm sorry to hear that this happened.

The way to ensure a favorable agreement is to refuse to sign anything you do not 100% agree with, or even anything you're not sure you agree with. You may not want to agree that the claims of sexual abuse were "false" unless he actually went to trial and was found not guilty. You could agree that the charges were "unsubstantiated as of DATE" or "not pursued by police as of the date of signing of this agreement." Something like that. The way it's written, it sounds like you either filed charges you knew were false or encouraged someone else to do so, and that's not what happened.

You also have to think about things you're absolutely, 100% not willing to budge on versus things that might be less important to you. Make a list for your own reference, because that can help you with negotiations.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
I never filed anything related to this. For me, it was a moment thing, it was a terrible rash that hadn't taken place under my care and since my daughter is potty trained, I was trying to just think what caused it. Yes, I told the doctor that I was in an abusive relationship. He yelled in our daughters ears "shut up" a few times when she was 4 months old. More abuse was directed at me. I was worried for our daughters safety upon seeing the rash and I knew that she returned in the same set of underwear so that was my verbal explanation.

Technically, taking your daughter to the hospital started the chain of events. That's why they put "indirectly" in the notice - they're not saying you did it on purpose. But if you're not comfortable with the way they're phrasing it, send them a suggested revision. See if there's a way you can word it that you're comfortable with without saying that your husband did nothing wrong.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
That's Correct! You got that right. So then he filed a motion "ex parte for sole custody" on the basis of falsely accusing me that I'm a sexually abusive mother.
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
We had an inconclusive hearing on that and the pediatrician talked about me in good faith and clarified that the mother never expressed that she could think of the father doing so etching like that and she's okay with visitation
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Sorry typo: pediatrician said that the mother clearly said father wouldn't do something like that
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
She wants father child relationship to continue

So then "the mother engaged in behavior that directly or indirectly resulted in false claims of sexual abuse by the father" isn't really accurate. I do think changing the word "false" would help. Or removing the mother entirely - it was the hospital that brought the claims.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
That was the good thing. Worked out for me. So now my attorney has put down on the agreement that
- both parties acknowledge engaging in behaviors that either directly or indirectly resulted in false claims by others of sexual abuse/inappropriate touching. Neither parent believes that the other parent of their family members did or would inappropriately touch or sexually abuse their child"

That's much better.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Can the above statement hurt me in the future ? And why an I agreeing to false claims when I didn't purse that or clearly affirm that, it was a state of mind thing in my interaction with the doctor and i wanted her to investigate it if she wanted. However, if I had to really claimed that that I would tell her pediatrician that her father has done somethjng like that but I didn't.
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
verbally by saying what I said to the pediatrician, I cleared her doubts and didn't let her assume something wrong about the father

You're acknowledging that other people brought claims that turned out to be false as a result of something you said or did, but not that you said or did anything with that intended purpose. If you don't know that the claims really are false, again, you could substitute unsubstantiated or a similar word.

I'm getting a message that there was a problem with your payment. If you still want someone to call you, please contact Customer Service to get that straightened out.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
now there shouldnt

It could be a network issue. That happens sometimes, but Customer Service can see more.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
I just updated the payment info

Thank you. Then you should be getting a call shortly.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
I never got a call

I asked customer service to contact you. The site only attempts to process payment when the call request is made. Since the payment didn't go through, experts were not allowed to make the call. Updating the payment after the fact doesn't change that. If you haven't heard from them yet, then I apologize. Please contact customer service by phone and someone can fix this for you.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Hi
Can we pls talk n the phone?
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Hi Can I talk to Lucy Esq regarding my earlier issue related to the clause in the agreement about the inappropriate touching?
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
If my reaction and my utmost confusion and behavior led them to believe that I could suspect something like that could've happened to the child, and I encouraged DSS to reach out to the child's father and inquire into it, but I didn't explicitly write down anything or explicitly say "father of the child has definitely sexually abused her" then can the hearing go against me?
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
When the doctor told me there's a discharge and started asking questions, I was also confused and nervous for our daughter. But my husband (soon to be ex) is holding it against me, and taking me to court and trying to have witness and record keeper from urgent care that I falsely accused him. How do you think I should handle this?
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Hi Lucy, are you there?
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
How do I have my back? When the pediatrician called and asked me the same day if she should release the records to the father of the child and if I think some sexual abuse must have happened, I said "No, I don't believe the father should do such a thing". However, can the incident at urgent care be detrimental for me?
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
He is trying to prove that I filed false claims of sexual abuse toward our daughter against him and he wants sole custody. What wil happen if he wins? There was a referral sheet prepared by the social worker that said "mother is concerned about touching". How much can this hurt me if I didn't even file charges/file a motion against him. I was just worried and letting DSS contact him to find out why the rash must have happened? and if he knew anything about it.

I'm sorry for the delay. There's still a problem with the phone call request. I've asked customer service again to contact you, but I'm afraid I cannot continue to assist you until that is fixed.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
I made the payment, can you please help me through chat.
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
I have posted quite a few questions and also made a payment, pls reply to me.
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
pls reply on the last few questions. Waiting for your reply. Thank you so much!
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
If my reaction and my utmost confusion and behavior led them to believe that I could suspect something like that could've happened to the child, and I encouraged DSS to reach out to the child's father and inquire into it, but I didn't explicitly write down anything or explicitly say "father of the child has definitely sexually abused her" then can the hearing go against me?
When the doctor told me there's a discharge and started asking questions, I was also confused and nervous for our daughter. But my husband (soon to be ex) is holding it against me, and taking me to court and trying to have witness and record keeper from urgent care that I falsely accused him. How do you think I should handle this?
How do I have my back? When the pediatrician called and asked me the same day if she should release the records to the father of the child and if I think some sexual abuse must have happened, I said "No, I don't believe the father should do such a thing". However, can the incident at urgent care be detrimental for me?
He is trying to prove that I filed false claims of sexual abuse toward our daughter against him and he wants sole custody. What wil happen if he wins? There was a referral sheet prepared by the social worker that said "mother is concerned about touching". How much can this hurt me if I didn't even file charges/file a motion against him. I was just worried and letting DSS contact him to find out why the rash must have happened? and if he knew anything about it.
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Let's forget the phone call, please let's just chat. I don't want the phone call right now. Can we pls chat?

I'm happy to continue with this via chat, however, I'm afraid I do not work on the weekends, like many people. I will be back online tomorrow morning and able to pick up the conversation then. If you need an immediate response, then you can post on a new page and any of the available experts would be happy to help.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
ok. Thank you so much!
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
what time will you be available in terms of EST?

I should be online by 7 am. Have a good evening.

Thank you for your patience on this, and I apologize for the site's issues. I've re-read all your comments, and - you didn't do anything wrong here.

The child had a suspicious rash. You have an obligation as a parent to ensure that your child gets treatment and care, and you're allowed to investigate things that don't seem right. Doctors and nurses are mandatory reporters. When they see something that makes them fear child abuse had occurred, they HAVE to report it. You're not expected to know what could trigger a report, and you're certainly not expected to avoid seeking medical care because you're worried that a report could be filed.

The only real concern is their use of the word "false" in the report, for the reasons I've already explained. It makes it sound like you or the doctor knew the charge were false when filed, and that's a problem. But before you agree to sign the statement, you're allowed to request that they change that word, or that they reword the whole thing to say that the allegations were not substantiated after the report was filed. it would be odd for a judge to take away your custody SOLELY because of that report, though. The judge is supposed to consider a variety of factors to determine what is best for the child, and you were clearly trying to do what was best for the child when you went to the doctor.

Please rate my answer positively to ensure I get paid for the time I spend helping. If you are on a mobile device, you may need to scroll to the right. Thank you.

Lucy, Esq. and 2 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you

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