I am very sorry to hear that you are having to deal with this; that must be incredibly upsetting.
I do have some good news that may help though.
First, the courts and the legislature recognize that not everyone is in the same financial situation and thus that can create an unfair legal situation in a divorce, for example, when one spouse has more access to funds than the other. That is why the court can order the spouse with more access/assets to pay for the other spouse's legal fees-which makes sure that this spouse gets their "day in court" otherwise it would be unfair.
Here is that statute:
Payment of costs, attorneys' fees, etc.
The court from time to time after considering the financial resources of both parties may order a party to pay a reasonable amount for the cost to the other party of maintaining or defending any proceeding under this chapter and for reasonable attorneys' fees or other professional fees in connection therewith, including sums for legal services rendered and costs incurred prior to the commencement of the proceeding or enforcement or modification proceedings after entry of judgment.
Upon any appeal, the appellate court may, in its discretion, order a party to pay for the cost to the other party of maintaining the appeal and attorneys' fees in addition to statutory costs.
The court may order that the attorneys' fees be paid directly to the attorney who may enforce the order in his or her name.
Second, WA is a community property state, meaning that the court has the authority to divide community property upon divorce, so that the court may divide such property in an equitable manner, pursuant to code 26.09.080. The court will take into account such things as the length of the marriage and the parties' respective financial situation; but will not consider marital fault. For long term marriages, normally the court will divide the property 50/50.
So a long term spouse cannot simply walk away from a marriage with all of the property. Furthermore the court can even award spousal support to the spouse that earns less money -the idea is for both parties to be able to maintain a standard of living comparable to that acquired during the marriage, while recognizing that 2 households are more expensive to maintain than one.
If the individual is a scammer, the party affected would need to file a report with the police but it is difficult to prosecute these types of cases. There is an internet division that does handle these though.
I would urge you to hire an attorney; they can make a motion for legal fees to cover the retainer, and then proceed from there.
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Information provided is for educational purposes only. Consultation with a personal attorney is always recommended so your particular facts may be considered. Thank you and take care.