My son is 9yrs old and has continually stated through tears that he no longer wants to go to his father's. He feels as though his father doesn't love him due to things his dad says to him such as,"the second son is the best on" referring to his little brother from a different mother
and "what are you stupid or something?" He has also shared recently about his father's fights with a new girlfriend in front of the children (once involving him grabbing her hair and leading her into the house by it) and alcohol use in his presence which is actually against the current court order (I have no way to enforce...if I do, how?).
This breaks my heart to no end and I continue to encourage my son that his father loves him and wants to spend time with him although I am concerned a bit about his father's recently choices since the split from his brother's mother back in early 2016. He has had three different women living there over the past 6-7 month and leaves my child with each of these women just after meeting them for days at a time while he is working without me ever consenting.
Things have been much better over the past few years regarding co-parenting and flexibility of our schedule. However, I am becoming more and more concerned and not sure what to do as we do not have a great communicating relationship and my son is encouraged to lie or not tell me what is happening over there. I am afraid if I try to speech with the father, he will come down harder on my son who already feels he is not loved.
1) At what age do the courts listen to a child? I have read the Code 3042 but are there any cases to reference wherein a nine year old's views are considered?
2) Would the lifestyle (drinking and fighting with girlfriends) be enough to decrease visitation
or would they simply say it's his right to parent his way since we have joint custody
3) Is there a clause I could add to a future modification order to say something about first right of refusal and who is acceptable as custodians during his time there (i.e. family members)?
Please advise! Thank you so graciously.
PK - California