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In this day and age, with adultery so commonplace, it is not the huge advantage in terms of divorce, property settlement that it used to be. That said, it is best for you to get your affairs in order before you tell her that you know of the affair and that you want to divorce. This means that you should get your money into a personal account that she doesn't have access to, and any other property or assets that you currently own alone. That will keep her from cleaning your assets/money out after you drop the news.
Also, you should consider filing for divorce before you inform your wife so she will not have time to try and cover up anything.
It is leverage either way....and it's probably going to come out sooner than the negotiation stage. Adultery is a ground for divorce under CT law, so it will likely be pled/raised early on.